Chap 25
Weeks had passed and still I felt empty. I stayed with Angel and yearned for him to be always close by, always by my side. I could not handle him leaving me for long. Sometimes I'd look at him and imagine what it was like before all this, before Spike, before my 17th birthday.
It seems such a long time ago, almost as if it were another lifetime. I look up at you from the other side of your desk where you are busy flicking though an aged book about yet more prophecies of times to come. You notice my look and you look back, smiling that infectious smile which you soon see returned to you.
You know I still hurt. You know I suffer everyday with the guilt of Spike's death. Everyday you tell me it was his choice yet still I would sit for hours at a time, staring out of the window and wishing I had not thrown him the amulet.
"It was meant to be Buffy." How many times had I heard you say that to me?
Too many times, that's for sure.
******
Curled up and fragile, you sit across from me as I read. Glancing at you I know you are thinking about Spike and jealousy starts to burn anew. Did you really love him that much? I know most of your suffering is guilt for his death, but if it troubles you so, then you must have cared for him in some way.
I reach across the desk and take your hand in mine. I still can't believe that I have not kissed you since you arrived. Time told me to wait, leave you alone and settle back into life before I started anything. I yearned for that kiss but as you had not said or made a move, I decided it could wait. Time is always on my side.
You grip my hand as if you never want to let go. This has shocked me as you have always proven that you are such an independent woman but lately you remain at my side and show pain when I am not around, or have been gone for too long. Why are you like this Buffy? Why?
******
His caring touch always remains on my skin once he has let go. This is what comforts me and helps me through these troubled times. There is one thing that troubles me about your behaviour.
You have not kissed me.
I know I shouldn't expect you to make the move and maybe people would think me dirty to be lusting over Spike and then so soon after his death expect you to be there. But you are my love Angel, you are nothing compared to Spike.
I am partly to blame I know.
I have been distant and often during a conversation my mind would drift away to the platinum blonde that died for the world, but still I love you Angel. No matter what happens between us I will always love you.
As for constantly being at your side, I think I'm scared. Scared of losing you too. I want to be with you every minute of the day so I know you are safe, know that I have not wasted my time with you. For I wasted my time with Spike.
******
I can see your eyelids starting to droop and I know your about to fall into yet another dreamless sleep. I smile as I watch your breathing become shallow and slow as sleep soon overrides your body.
I stand from my chair and scoop you up in my arms and instantly your fingers hold on gently to the front of my shirt and your head snuggles in closer. I walk you to your room and proceed to lie you out on the bed as I have done many times before.
Once you are settled, I bend over you and plant a lingering kiss on your forehead, sweeping away a piece of hair as I do so with my hand. Your eyes suddenly flutter open and a smile appears on your face.
"So this is how I end up in bed every time I fall asleep in your office."
"Yep." I answer, still bent over you so our noses are almost touching.
Everything falls silent and I feel your body tense beneath me.
"Angel?"
"mm?"
"Kiss me." I have been waiting for those words for what seems like an eternity.
Our lips meet in a haze of passion and hunger as each one of us realises that this is what the other has been waiting for since we had been reunited. My tongue brushes against your bottom lip, asking polite entrance to meet your own.
Permission is granted and soon our tongues meet in a dance of fire.
Your small hands are soon attached to my shirt, ripping it from my body and casting it to the floor. I feel the warmth of your hands as they sweep across my skin until they are entangled in my hair.
Soon we are both naked, and I stare down on you to take a moment to admire your beauty. You smile and bring my head down for another lingering kiss. I enter you slowly and you arch your back, never taking your eyes away from mine. I remain still for a moment watching as you pout beneath me and your nails start to dig into my flesh, your hips grinding against my own until I cannot take it any longer and I start to move inside of you.
Both our climax's start to build and I can hear your moans beneath me until soon enough you scream my name as you are sent to the heavens and back, your breathing becoming ragged. I kiss you again as I feel my climax moments away and I whisper words of love into your ear until I reach my peak and collapse on top of you
****** Your cool skin next to mine was invigorating. Soon you had rolled to my side and now we both lay on our sides facing each other, you gently played with my hair, while I seeked to snuggle deeper into your embrace.
"Buff."
"Mm?"
"Why do you always want to be near me? Not that I mind, I mean I love every minute I am with you and miss you any moment that we are apart."
"I'm scared." I mumbled quietly.
"Scared of what?" Your hand moves to the small of my back.
"Of losing you." You give a small chuckle and I peel my head away from your chest and peer up to your face.
"I'm not going anywhere Buffy."
"You've said that before."
"Well this time you will be by my side, no matter where I go." You bend down and kiss me once more.
*~* please read and review!!!! *~*
Weeks had passed and still I felt empty. I stayed with Angel and yearned for him to be always close by, always by my side. I could not handle him leaving me for long. Sometimes I'd look at him and imagine what it was like before all this, before Spike, before my 17th birthday.
It seems such a long time ago, almost as if it were another lifetime. I look up at you from the other side of your desk where you are busy flicking though an aged book about yet more prophecies of times to come. You notice my look and you look back, smiling that infectious smile which you soon see returned to you.
You know I still hurt. You know I suffer everyday with the guilt of Spike's death. Everyday you tell me it was his choice yet still I would sit for hours at a time, staring out of the window and wishing I had not thrown him the amulet.
"It was meant to be Buffy." How many times had I heard you say that to me?
Too many times, that's for sure.
******
Curled up and fragile, you sit across from me as I read. Glancing at you I know you are thinking about Spike and jealousy starts to burn anew. Did you really love him that much? I know most of your suffering is guilt for his death, but if it troubles you so, then you must have cared for him in some way.
I reach across the desk and take your hand in mine. I still can't believe that I have not kissed you since you arrived. Time told me to wait, leave you alone and settle back into life before I started anything. I yearned for that kiss but as you had not said or made a move, I decided it could wait. Time is always on my side.
You grip my hand as if you never want to let go. This has shocked me as you have always proven that you are such an independent woman but lately you remain at my side and show pain when I am not around, or have been gone for too long. Why are you like this Buffy? Why?
******
His caring touch always remains on my skin once he has let go. This is what comforts me and helps me through these troubled times. There is one thing that troubles me about your behaviour.
You have not kissed me.
I know I shouldn't expect you to make the move and maybe people would think me dirty to be lusting over Spike and then so soon after his death expect you to be there. But you are my love Angel, you are nothing compared to Spike.
I am partly to blame I know.
I have been distant and often during a conversation my mind would drift away to the platinum blonde that died for the world, but still I love you Angel. No matter what happens between us I will always love you.
As for constantly being at your side, I think I'm scared. Scared of losing you too. I want to be with you every minute of the day so I know you are safe, know that I have not wasted my time with you. For I wasted my time with Spike.
******
I can see your eyelids starting to droop and I know your about to fall into yet another dreamless sleep. I smile as I watch your breathing become shallow and slow as sleep soon overrides your body.
I stand from my chair and scoop you up in my arms and instantly your fingers hold on gently to the front of my shirt and your head snuggles in closer. I walk you to your room and proceed to lie you out on the bed as I have done many times before.
Once you are settled, I bend over you and plant a lingering kiss on your forehead, sweeping away a piece of hair as I do so with my hand. Your eyes suddenly flutter open and a smile appears on your face.
"So this is how I end up in bed every time I fall asleep in your office."
"Yep." I answer, still bent over you so our noses are almost touching.
Everything falls silent and I feel your body tense beneath me.
"Angel?"
"mm?"
"Kiss me." I have been waiting for those words for what seems like an eternity.
Our lips meet in a haze of passion and hunger as each one of us realises that this is what the other has been waiting for since we had been reunited. My tongue brushes against your bottom lip, asking polite entrance to meet your own.
Permission is granted and soon our tongues meet in a dance of fire.
Your small hands are soon attached to my shirt, ripping it from my body and casting it to the floor. I feel the warmth of your hands as they sweep across my skin until they are entangled in my hair.
Soon we are both naked, and I stare down on you to take a moment to admire your beauty. You smile and bring my head down for another lingering kiss. I enter you slowly and you arch your back, never taking your eyes away from mine. I remain still for a moment watching as you pout beneath me and your nails start to dig into my flesh, your hips grinding against my own until I cannot take it any longer and I start to move inside of you.
Both our climax's start to build and I can hear your moans beneath me until soon enough you scream my name as you are sent to the heavens and back, your breathing becoming ragged. I kiss you again as I feel my climax moments away and I whisper words of love into your ear until I reach my peak and collapse on top of you
****** Your cool skin next to mine was invigorating. Soon you had rolled to my side and now we both lay on our sides facing each other, you gently played with my hair, while I seeked to snuggle deeper into your embrace.
"Buff."
"Mm?"
"Why do you always want to be near me? Not that I mind, I mean I love every minute I am with you and miss you any moment that we are apart."
"I'm scared." I mumbled quietly.
"Scared of what?" Your hand moves to the small of my back.
"Of losing you." You give a small chuckle and I peel my head away from your chest and peer up to your face.
"I'm not going anywhere Buffy."
"You've said that before."
"Well this time you will be by my side, no matter where I go." You bend down and kiss me once more.
*~* please read and review!!!! *~*
