AN:  Okay, funny story.  It's been more than a month since I updated this story (Sorry 'bout that – I plead illness and work!), but today when I got on the computer to write this part, intending to post it tonight, I had a review in my inbox, saying "Update!".  So I did.  ;)  Just a funny coincidence, since I received it just as I was getting ready to start writing.  I thought I would share it.  =) 

So, finally, here is the next part.   I hope you enjoy – and please review!  ;)

Silence filled the room after Joey's announcement, broken only when Monica turned her pale face into Joey's shoulder, stifling a sob.  Joey's face was almost as white as Monica's, but he loyally turned his attention to her, stroking her hair with one hand as he murmured something into her ear.  He glanced up, and Mark thought that his eyes looked haunted as Joey caught his gaze.  Mark surmised that the shell-shocked look emanated from the experience of hearing Chandler's "last moments" on the tape.  It had shaken Mark, too.  He had a feeling he would hear his friend's panicked voice in his dreams over the next few days.

Mark's gaze shifted to Charlie, who was just staring at the other three, looking utterly confused.  Smiling sympathetically, Mark promised himself that he would fill Charlie in on the details later, and explain why hearing her name on the tape had affected Monica so intensely.

His eyes fell on the tape recorder, and he took a step toward it, berating himself for not realizing immediately that Chandler's last cry had not been for Nora.  Of course Chandler had called for Monica.  Any fool – well, any fool that had listened to Chandler talk about her that day in the plane, and every day since he'd announced that he was going back to New York – would have known that.  In fact, he wondered why it hadn't occurred to him as soon as Charlie had briefed him on the contents of the tape.  It was no secret that Chandler and Nora didn't have a typical mother-son relationship.  Nora had actually been in almost a state of shock a year ago, when she asked him if it would be okay if her son stayed with them in Boston for a while.  She wasn't accustomed to Chandler asking her for anything, she had admitted.  In fact, she'd seen him only once in the past year, and that was for dinner during a three-hour layover.  Even then, Chandler had resisted the dinner date, and Nora was sure that it was only because her son was a "good kid" that he had consented.

And though things had improved drastically over the past months, it didn't change the fact that there was still a distance between the mother and her son that they hadn't quite managed to bridge.  So while it might be natural for most pilots to cry out for "Mom", it was highly unlikely that Nora Bing would have been in Chandler's thoughts at that moment.  Mark was annoyed with himself for not realizing it immediately. 

He glanced back at Monica – who had by now lifted her head and was wiping a hand across her face - and Joey, wishing that Monica had at least been prepared for what she had heard.  It was obvious that she'd been shocked to hear her name on Chandler's lips, and given the circumstances, he couldn't really blame her.  Chandler hadn't had the chance to deliver the "explanation" he owed her, and Monica probably had no idea that she had occupied Chandler's thoughts for nearly every waking moment – and sleeping, too – since he had walked out of her New York apartment.

Of course, it wasn't Mark's place to tell her that, but he felt like he had to say something.  He opened his mouth, desperately sorting through his thoughts for something that would be appropriate without letting Chandler's secret slip, when Monica herself broke the awkward moment, probably saving Mark from making a bumbling fool out of himself.

"I…I think I need to take a walk," she murmured softly in Joey's direction.  "I just…I'll be back in a little while, okay?"

Joey nodded, his eyes searching hers as he leaned in to kiss her forehead.  "You okay?" he asked her softly, staring intently into her face.  Monica took a deep, shaky breath, then nodded slowly. 

"Yeah.  I just need some…time.  I'll meet you back in the waiting room, okay?"

"Okay," Joey agreed, his eyes following her as she left the room.  When she was safely out of the room, Joey cleared his throat and Mark turned to him, already anticipating the request that came from Joey's lips.

"Can we talk for a minute?"

Monica didn't even realize she had left the hospital until she looked up and realized she was seated on a bench outside.  Confused, she glanced around her, finally deciding with relief that she was just in a courtyard of some kind outside the hospital, and that her trance hadn't led her into the unfamiliar streets of Boston. 

As the haze cleared from her mind, her thoughts immediately went back to Chandler, and what she had heard on the cockpit recorder. 

He had said her name.  She was sure of it.

She shivered as she remembered the absolute terror in his voice, and felt vaguely guilty, as if she should have been there with him when he called out for her.  At the same time, the knowledge that he had been thinking of her in those last moments made her strangely euphoric.  It was a feeling she couldn't quite describe; a surge of exhilaration she had felt only a few times in her life - all of them with Chandler. 

It was, she realized, the way she felt that Thanksgiving, when she had stood in his doorway with a turkey on her head, and heard him tell her that he loved her for the very first time.  He hadn't thought it through first – that much was obvious when he immediately began to freak out – but that was exactly what convinced her that he meant it.  He'd said it without thinking.

And now he's done the very same thing again, she realized, her heart thudding faster as she consciously became aware of the thought that had been persistently pushing its way forward.  That's what the tape means.  That's why I'm feeling like this.  Whether he meant to or not, Chandler just told me that he still loves me.

She gasped out loud as she thought the words to herself, immediately realizing that she was right.  He loved her. 

There was nothing else it could mean.  In spite of everything, he loved her.  He had to.

She closed her eyes, her heart warming for the first time in what seemed like months.  A tiny part of her subconscious told her that she shouldn't be feeling so happy; after all, Chandler had walked out on her all those months ago, without so much as telling her where he was going. 

But the rest of her was screaming that it didn't matter, not right now.  She could – she would - think about that later.  After all, it wasn't something she could ignore.  But for now, all that mattered was for the first time in months, her heart didn't feel like it was breaking.

In fact, it felt like someone had just given her back a big piece of it.

Mark handed Joey his coffee, then sat down across from him at the cafeteria table.  Joey nodded his thanks, stirring the cup absently before looking up at Mark.

"You and Chandler were pretty close, huh?"

Mark looked down at the table and nodded slowly, not missing the note of jealousy in Joey's voice. 

"Yeah, I guess."

Joey looked down into his cup, then took a swallow.

"Did he talk about Monica a lot?"

"No, never.  Not until a few weeks ago.  I figured there was a girl, but I thought it was the other way around.  I thought she had left him."

"Why?" Joey blurted out, surprised by the statement. 

"Because…he was miserable.  Completely.  For months, we were lucky if he actually got up and took a shower."

"Sweat pants?" Joey asked, his eyes wide.  "He was in Phase One?"
            Mark raised his eyebrows, not sure he understood the question. 

"Yeah," he answered after a moment of hesitation.  "He swore sweats most of the time."

"Wow," Joey murmured, as if to himself.  "He really was upset."

"He was going back to New York today," Mark told him.  "To talk to her.  Not to ask her to take him back, because he knew he didn't deserve her.  But to try to explain, I guess.  Give her some closure."

"Mark," Joey began, his voice serious.  "I think it's only fair to tell you straight up that I'll do pretty much anything to protect that woman.  And after what we just heard in there, I know what I'm thinking, and I'm pretty sure I know what she's thinking.  So if Chandler doesn't feel the way that tape makes it sound like he feels, tell me now.  Please."  Joey paused and took a deep breath before continuing in a shaky voice.  "I can't bear to watch her get her hopes up, just to be shattered.  I can't let him break her heart again.  She doesn't deserve that."

Mark raised his eyes to Joey's, who was studying him intently with bloodshot eyes, and finally nodded slowly, smiling slightly.

"He loves her, Joey.  Of course he does.  He never stopped."

Monica paused outside the door to Chandler's room, trying to gather her thoughts before she walked inside.  She had stopped in the waiting room long enough for Nora to tell her that there was no change before proceeding down the hallway to his room, not waiting for a doctor to give her the okay to go inside.  She would leave if they made her, but she had to see Chandler, if only for a moment.

The room was quiet, the steady beats from the machines the only sound.  She found them comforting rather than intimidating; it meant that they were still doing their job for Chandler, whatever that might be.

She sat down next to the bed, her eyes taking in Chandler's still form.  She had never seen him lay so still…even the movement of his chest as the ventilator breathed for him was too minute to be visible.

She reached for his hand – the one that was uninjured – and gently ran her thumb over his fingers, careful not to move his arm for fear she would hurt him further.   Her eyes moved back to his face, wondering if there were dreams in the sleep he was lost in.  And if there were, was he dreaming of her?  Were they happy dreams?

Leaning her head against his plaster-covered chest, Monica whispered the words she had come to tell him, the words that she had been repeated to herself over and over as she walked up from the courtyard.  They were words she had memorized long ago, but was just now beginning to understand.  He had tried to tell her back then, but she had been too hurt to listen. 

"When you think of me," she whispered, her voice catching.  "Remember the way that we used to be.  Remember the times I held you tenderly.  Remember the way that I love you…"

She lifted her head, then stood up, leaning over to kiss his forehead tenderly.

"I love you," she repeated softly, before turning toward the door, glancing back at him once last time before she left the room.

To Be Continued…

(The words she said, in case you have forgotten since it's been so long, are the lyrics in the note Chandler left for her in Chapter One.)