Disclaimer: We don't own Gone With the Wind nor FF8!
"EMERGENCY MEETING IN MY DORM!" Grasshopper yelled to everyone in the gang. Once everyone was there, Grasshopper went to her closet and brought out sake, ginger ale, chips, pixie stix, etc.
"Sakeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.." Kitty said dreamily and took a bottle a little too quickly from Grasshopper.
"What's all this for?" asked Keiry.
"For good luck at the play tonight for everyone.." Grasshopper winks at everyone in on the plan, "and to congratulate me, Moirae, and Seifer on making SeeD." Everyone stared in total shock as Seifer stood up and bowed.
"S-seifer made S-seeD?" asked Selphie dumbly. "THE WORLD'S GONNA END!!!"
"Mwahahaha." Kitty sent telepathically to everyone. "Ragnarok...heheh."
"Anywaaaaaay." Grasshopper continued staring evilly at Kitty, "This is basically a party for us."
"YAY!" screamed Selphie jumping on Grasshopper's bed. Quistis was staring evilly at Moirae and Seifer sitting together but decided to forget about it. Squall and Rinoa were talking quietly. Zell and Grasshopper were doing the same as Squall and Rinoa. Selphie was trying to get Irvine to jump on the bed with her. Keiry, Raven, Kola, Samy, and Lori were walking towards Grasshopper. Binx was reading another cat people book.
"Hey Grasshopper." Raven said.
"Yeah?" Grasshopper asked.
"Why is Seifer part of our destruction team?"
"Oh." Grasshopper shot a look at Moirae. "Moirae 'accidentally' told Seifer about it so he just waltz on in here.So, we're kinda stuck with him."
"Oh..Well I don't mind." She replied looking towards him with a huge grin.
"Geez..." Grasshopper said. Squall went up to Kitty, who was chugging bottle after bottle of Sake.
"HIYA SQUALL!!! YA WANT SOME?" Kitty screamed falling over off the couch. "My impression of Squall: ....Whatever(hic)..." She started to laugh maniacally.
"Okay I just wanted to say that the cast has to leave in about an hour."
"OKIDOKIE CHERIOKIE!" screamed Kitty.
"Hey Squall, why don't you go out with Kitty?" asked Raven. Squall looked at Kitty who was now talking to a wall thinking it was Sephiroth.
"No comment."
"So stab my foot." She muttered.
"I kinda can't." Squall replied looking at her steel-toed boots. By this point, everyone but Zell and Grasshopper were chugging Sake. They were starting to get quite tipsy.
"Everyone.must.bow.to.the string!" Kitty bellowed from the couch. Everyone but Zell, Grasshopper, Moirae, and Seifer started to bow. (Moirae and Seifer were.. missing.) Grasshopper just shook her head as if saying, "Pathetic morons." But maybe they shouldn't have talked because they were the ones experimenting how foamy ginger ale was and how fast it soaked into bread, pixie stix, chips, and carpet.
About twenty minutes later, Grasshopper realized something. "Thank Hyne it's a Saturday...OH CRAP!"
"What?!" asked Zell.
"The cast has to be in the auditorium in thrity-five minutes and they're completely wasted!"
"Uh, we have a problem.."
"Yeah. Luckily, the five cast members aren't too bad. Just take away whatever liquor they have."
"Okay, let's go." They grabbed every liquor bottle they found and threw them away. Thirty-five minutes later, Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, and Selphie were almost back to normal, although Squall was way more talkative than usual. After a frantic, ten-minute search for Seifer, Zell and Grasshopper found him in the broom closet with Moirae. However, everyone else was passed out on the floor, except for Kitty, who was in a corner talking to her penguins about duct taping Masamune.
"Look, everyone is going to be in a huge hangover by the time they wake up, that there is no way that we'll be able to destroy the play. Youwannagooutwime?" Zell asked quickly.
"Sure! Where should we go?" Grasshopper asked, stars in her eyes. Zell was dazed from the fact that she had actually said yes, and also from that look in her eyes. it was almost hypnotizing.
"Ummm. how about 'The Vineyard'? I heard from Selphie that it was a pretty. decent place." Zell asked.
"OK! That's perfect! Just let me get changed into something better than this." She said, indicating her SeeD uniform.
"Great! I'll meet you out front in ten minutes then?"
"Yeah. Out front, ten minutes, meet ya there!" Grasshopper said, running to get changed.
Zell ran back to his dorm, and freshened up enough to where he looked respectable. Then he ran down to the front gate, and waited for Grasshopper. He saw her coming down the stairs in a light blue evening gown, halter top style. As she reached the bottom, he whistled. "You look great, especially with your hair down!"
"Thanks. You look awesome!" She replied.
"Thanks. Well, let's go." He said, taking her arm in his and they walked to the restaurant.
*********************************************************************
Meanwhile, Back in the Dorm.
Kitty and Moirae were talking. They were wondering where in the world Grasshopper and Zell were, and they were wondering if they could pull off ruining the play by themselves, considering that everyone else was out of it.
"Well, I think that we could do it. I mean, how hard could it be? Besides, isn't Seifer dead already in that scene? He could come and help us. I mean, we only need three people, right?" Moirae was asking Kitty, who was still playing with her string.
"You tell me. You came up with the plans, after all, nai?"
"Well, yeah, but I dunno. I just dunno. We could, I mean, I designed the plans for three people. namely me, you, and Grasshopper, and seeing as how Grasshopper has disappeared, it looks like we need another person. And only one other person isn't passed out cold on the dorm floor right now, and that's Seifer." Moirae said, worriedly.
"Well, you need to make up your mind, because the play isn't going to last forever, is it?"
"All right. Let's do it." Kitty and Moirae walk out of the room, locking the door behind them. They walk towards the auditorium, and Kitty is still playing with her string. *********************************************************************** Backstage
Kitty and Moirae are sneaking around backstage. They finally find the dressing room, where they talk to Seifer.
"So, are you done?" Kitty asked him, STILL toying with her string.
"Yeah. I died last scene. I was wondering if you girls were going to go through with this or not. So, what are you doing in here?" He answered, looking confused and intrigued at the same time.
"Well, we. kinda need your help." Moirae said quietly.
"Why didn't you come out and say that first off? I'd love to help you!"
"You would?! Great! Ok, how much farther until the 'great' scene where Rhett and Scarlett kiss?" Asked Moirae, obviously relieved.
"We have about fifteen minutes until then. So, what do you propose we do in the meantime?"
Kitty played with her string. Moirae shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno."
"Well, we could come up with a different plan.." Seifer said evilly as he led them into the costume room.
*********************************************************************
At the Vineyard
"May I take your order?" asked a waiter.
"Can I cheat on my diet just once?" Zell pleaded.
"I don't care."
"Cool. I'll have the fillet mignon with a salad." Grasshopper looked at him with a weird expression. "I've kinda grown to salads.."
"Okay, and what type of dressing?" asked the waiter.
"Italian."
"Okay."
"I'll have Chicken Caesar Salad with ranch dressing." Grasshopper said.
"Okay. Now would either of you like fries with that?"
"Umm..nooooo." they both said looking at each other. The waiter walked away and they heard them say:
"I need a combo number five and combo number twelve, eighty-six the fries on both, well done and two strawberry shak- I mean 'daquiris'.
"Okay, who told you this was a good restaurant?" Grasshopper asked looking abashed.
"Selphie." Said Zell finally coming to a realization. "Oh man.. You wanna go eat some place else?"
"That would be nice." Grasshopper replied quickly looking at the other people realizing that everyone else was in jeans and t-shirt and that Zell and her were getting weird looks. They left quickly and went to Wendy's, where they could at least get fries from a place they knew. ((Grasshopper- Makes no sense but they wanted me to put that.))
*********************************************************************
Back in the Costume Room.
"Is it just me or are these clothes, a little too lacey?" asked Moirae coming out with a very tight, very revealing clothes, something that was like the Moulin Rouge constumes.
"I feel prettiful!" Kitty said coming out with almost the same clothing and turning around and looking in all the mirrors in the room. "Hehe! Millions of Kitty!" she said as she went into the room with mirrors all around it. Moirae started to rub her temples. Seifer came out in tight leather pants and a bow-tie with no shirt. They hear a dripping noise and realize Raven is probably drooling at the thought.
"I feel like a moron."
"Hey it was your idea!" Kitty and Moirae say.
"But this isn't what I laid out this morning!"
Moirae turns red and looks away. "Okay let's go out on the stage and get this over with."
"Okay, I'll go fiddle with the PA system," Kitty replied. When that was done, they went out on the stage with a happy tune playing on the stereo. Moirae and Kitty started to do the Can-can as the curtain pulled open. They were wondering how they didn't get caught. Squall and Selphie were leaning in about to kiss when 'They're Coming to Take me Away' started up. They looked up, startled, and saw Moirae and Kitty doing the Can-Can, and Seifer singing the words. "They're coming to take me away, ha ha." he sang.
Then Squall (who is still a little tipsy) started doing the Can-Can, looking very relieved that he didn't have to kiss Selphie. Selphie looks at the group for a moment, shrugs her shoulders, smiles, and joins in the Can-Can. Then Laguna stood up. "Go Squall! I knew that those tap dancing lessons would pay off!"
Squall's face went red, and he froze. Then, "WHAT tap dancing lessons?"
Laguna thought for a moment, and then he said, "Oh, that's right! Those were the tap dancing lessons I WOULD have gotten you if you had grown up with me.." He walked off.
Squall resumed his Can-Canning. They all Can-Can off-stage and the audience applauds wildly. The curtains close, and Selphie, Squall, Seifer, Kitty, and Moirae run wildly for Grasshopper's dorm.
"Whew! We made it!" breathed Moirae. Suddenly, men dressed in white pants and shirts burst into the room. Moirae, Seifer, and Selphie tried to fight them off, but they were too tired and the white-dressed men led them off in straight-jackets.
::Well, this sucks.:: thought Squall, who had now recovered from his Sake intake. ::Hyne, where's my gunblade when I need it?!::
The white-smocked men led them to psychiatric room. room 217. Kitty said quietly, "Oh darn, not again! This is the fifth time this week, guys! So, how's life been? Blah, blah, blah." she rambled on and on, and then a look of evil crossed her face.
"Ok, guys, here's the plan! I'm going to claw and chew my way out of this thing, you guys are gonna chase me, I'm gonna slam the door in," she points to guy in white numero uno, "YOUR face and break your nose, and you," motions to the second guy, "are going to run home screaming for your mommy. Sound good?"
The two nod absently, obviously not realizing what they just agreed to.
Kitty started clawing and chewing her jacket, and about three minutes later, succeeded in getting it off. Then, she went about and got everyone else's jackets undone, opened the door, let everyone out, slammed the door in numero uno's face breaking his nose, and the other guy ran home crying to his mommy.
Everyone races back to Grasshopper's dorm, where they open the door and walk in to find everyone still passed out. Then, they heard someone at the door. It opened, and in walked Grasshopper and Zell. Just as they walked in, everyone woke up.
"Where have you BEEN?!" asked Moirae.
"Nice hair," remarked Kitty.
"Didn't you check the answering machine? That thing on the table in the corner?"
Everyone looks at it, giving it the evil eye. Kitty mumbled, "So THAT'S what that red light means, huh?"
Keiry rips the phone out of the wall socket, and throwing it out of the window. "Die, evil light!!!!!!"
No one disagreed. Suddenly, they heard a phone ring. They looked around, and spied another phone in the other corner. "Hyne, Grasshopper. how many phones ya got?" said Squall.
"Just pick up the damn thing!" she yelled.
Selphie picked up the phone. "Hello, Grasshopper's dorm! Selphie speaking!"
It was Headmanster Cid. "Selphie, I want you, Squall, Seifer, Moirae, and Kitty to come to my office. NOW!"
"Yes sir!" She put down the phone. She waits a moment, and says, "Uh. guys, I think that we're in trouble."
"Who was it?!" Everyone yelled.
"Umm. someone who got us in trouble!"
"Like who?"
"Ummm. me, Squall, Seifer, Kitty, and Moirae. at least those are the names that the Headmaster mentioned.." She said. "He also said that. the five of us have to go to his office. now," she added, indicating the five that Cid mentioned. Grasshopper got down on her knees, praising Hyne that she was out with Zell when all this happened.
"Shit." said Kitty.
They walked out, certain that death was imminent. They headed toward Cid's office, and no one said anything, until Kitty spoke up. "Well, it was fun while it lasted, guys." They went into Cid's office. She started humming the death march tune.
"Sit down."
They sat down. Kitty began playing with her string again.
"Well, I suppose that you all know why you're here." Cid began. "Well, what if we said that we DIDN'T know?" Seifer asked.
"Then I would tell you that the play was a hit, and that you are all to be commended for such an original display of talent," he said.
**TOTAL SHOCK**
"NO!!!!!!!!!" They heard Squall scream.
"What?"
"MY NIGHTMARE CAME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CURSE YOU CID, MASTER OF ALL THAT IS EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANTED TO GET IN TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Squall continued.
"Okay, fine. Squall, go in the hall."
"OKAY! I think that I'll go resurrect Norg!"
Kitty stands up, slowly, and follows him. "Uh, I'm coming to!!!!"
Selphie follows, "Cool!!!! I'm coming too!"
"Ok. I think that I'll go too. Come on Moirae!" Said Seifer.
Moirae follows as if in a trance. "Okay. I haven't seen Leviathan in a while. I need to check on some GF's." she said, eagerly following Seifer.
About a minute later, Grasshopper runs into Cid's office, in her evening gown, all out of breath. "Are. they..in.trouble..yet..?" She pants.
Cid looks at her, and then he says, "No. they're going to resurrect Norg."
At the same time, their eyes open in fear. "OH NO!"
They run out of the office, and Grasshopper trips over her stiletto heels, ripping a tear in her dress. She finished ripping it, and tore off her shoes. "I knew these would be useful for something.." She said, and kept running. "IIIIIIIIIII'mmmmmmm coooooommmmminnnnnngggggg..." She says in slow motion.
Selphie is tagging behind the rest when she runs into Irvine.
"Ow!" he exclaims.
"Sorry but we're gonna resurrect Norg!"
"COOL! I wanna help!" Irvine loads his gun.
"No! We're going to resurrect him, not kill him!"
"Oh yeah!" Irvine throws his gun on the ground and starts to run towards the elevator. He realizes what he did and looks back at the poor gun lying on the ground. "MY BABY!" he yells running to his gun and kissing it.
************************************************************************
Five Hours Later
After defeating the newly resurrected Norg, everyone headed to the cafeteria. There they received a special brand of hotdog, which was cholesterol-free and still tasted like a hotdog. Zell, Seifer, Squall, Moirae, Kitty, and Grasshopper were sitting at a table, eating and discussing the night's events.
"So, did you two have fun on your little date, Zell and Grasshopper?" Asked Seifer.
"Yeah. what's it to you?" Replied Grasshopper.
"Geez. just asking.." He muttered.
"Moirae and Seifer sittin' in a tree.. K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."
Moirae looks up, takes off her shoe, and throws it at the singer. "Now who was that immature little..."
Grasshopper looks up, a shoe falling from her face.
Zell went over and hugged Grasshopper. He feels a bare leg. "What happened to your dress?"
"I couldn't run! And why was your leg there in the first place?"
"Sickos." Kitty says.
"Uhh.gotta go!" Grasshopper yells pulling Zell by the arm and heading towards the library.
"I don't even want to know what they're going to do in there." Squall says.
"Probably to kiss and hope the Library Girl With the Pigtails will run in on them, then Grasshopper will show her up by pulling him down in a passionate kiss." Rinoa says coming to sit down with them.
All stare at her.
She shrugs. "Well, its probably true."
"I'm all alone," Kitty sulks, "but worst of all, bored to FRIGGIN HELL!" She thinks a second. "I think I'll go see if Rinny's telling the truth." She runs off after the two lovebirds.
Rinoa looks around. "Hey..she's gone!" Starts cheering and does her freaky little victory dance.
Kitty suddenly pokes her head around the cafeteria door, looking ill.
Rinoa's cheer is suddenly gone.
"What is it?" Selphie asked.
Kitty trudges back to her seat. "I just remembered that the Library Committee has this thing on my head and..."
"...And your point? Everyone has this 'thing' on your head," Squall pointed out.
"Yeah," she whined, "but now I can't watch it!!! I'll have to pay that thousand gil fine I owed since...umm...I didn't turn that book in..."
Selphie winces. "Th-Thousand gil? What WAS it?"
Kitty shrugs. "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. What else?"
Everyone does the anime sweatdrop.
************************************************************************
Well, anyway, from then on, the rest is history, really.
The fangirls went about their business harassing Squall and Zell (unless of course Grasshopper was around to stop them...which was usually NOT fun for them at ALL), and the SeeDs went about on their missions.
All except Kitty, who could NOT be trusted outside Garden any longer (for you see, her SeeD license was at stake for a while), but yet they somehow managed to find it in them to allow her to REPAIR the Garden (probably because she silenced the other mechanics....).
Grasshopper and Zell continued going out (which should be apparent, for why else would she be so defensive against the fangirls who really only PRETENDED to like him to get to Squall?), and then, shortly after, so did Moirae and Seifer. But that didn't last long. For you see, not only was Seifer's controlling nature at stake, but following him around made it very hard for Moirae to do Kitty's bidding, so there was tension (because she's in on Ragnarok, too!!!). But they still like each other (well now, ain't that SWEET??? *gags*).
Squall and Rinoa have continued in their relationship (surprise, surprise), and it's been running smoothly considering the fact that Kitty's been in rehab, not allowing her much time to harass either.
Irvine and Selphie have been going good as well, ummmm..apart from that comment he made about his gun earlier....*checks* Yup. Still good.
Xu becomes president of the Drama Club, and, along with Nida (when he's not flying Garden) promise to create the most absurdly random plays ever. But trust me, they are not for human eyes. Never see a Nida/Xu original. We're WARNING you..
As for Quistis, well, she finally dates one of those blasted Trepies she's had her eye on for like...a week. (Hey! On her defense, that's a long time for a busy girl like herself!)
Rajin and Fujin (who have NOT been mentioned much in this fic, we are sorry to say, but should NOT go without notice, for they are AWESOME!!!!!) have ALSO gotten together. But, unfortunately after being kicked many times in the shin by Fujin, Rajin ran away to his mommy.
And we have all come to the conclusion that all of the mishaps in this story are the sole responsibilities of Kitty (who should be SHOT, damn it!!!).
************************************************************************
So, one day, flying over the ocean somewhere - we are not sure where exactly, for no one seems to care, really - the Garden malfunctioned.
Careening through the sky (ok, so it wasn't THAT far to fall, give or take), it crashed into the sea, where it sank to it's watery grave below.
Ok, so actually everyone in Garden was alerted, and they all cast Shells and Protects on themselves, which made this massive barrier, so that Garden became a neo-Atlantis, but it was pretty cool to watch it crash and burn anyway.
************************************************************************
So thus ends our epic tale of....epic proportions and freaky heros...who never really saved the day or anything, just provided a little humor...Aw, shit, bear with me! Come on!!!!!! GAH!!!!!!!!!!!! *internally combusts*
************************************************************************ ************************************************************************ Grasshopper: It's over...*cries and all that other crap* I think we'll make a sequel..as long as I have Zell, I'm okay!
Well, it's been great, kids, but now I have to say goodbye. Suck it up, ya wussies who are crying that it's over! We might make a sequel. ya never know! |\/|01R43
YAY!!!!! Redneck pride, ya'll. Kay, anyways, yes, it IS all my fault. *aims gun for forehead and fires* Crap!!! Dud!!!! GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *reaches for .20* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! |~|Kitty|~|
"EMERGENCY MEETING IN MY DORM!" Grasshopper yelled to everyone in the gang. Once everyone was there, Grasshopper went to her closet and brought out sake, ginger ale, chips, pixie stix, etc.
"Sakeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.." Kitty said dreamily and took a bottle a little too quickly from Grasshopper.
"What's all this for?" asked Keiry.
"For good luck at the play tonight for everyone.." Grasshopper winks at everyone in on the plan, "and to congratulate me, Moirae, and Seifer on making SeeD." Everyone stared in total shock as Seifer stood up and bowed.
"S-seifer made S-seeD?" asked Selphie dumbly. "THE WORLD'S GONNA END!!!"
"Mwahahaha." Kitty sent telepathically to everyone. "Ragnarok...heheh."
"Anywaaaaaay." Grasshopper continued staring evilly at Kitty, "This is basically a party for us."
"YAY!" screamed Selphie jumping on Grasshopper's bed. Quistis was staring evilly at Moirae and Seifer sitting together but decided to forget about it. Squall and Rinoa were talking quietly. Zell and Grasshopper were doing the same as Squall and Rinoa. Selphie was trying to get Irvine to jump on the bed with her. Keiry, Raven, Kola, Samy, and Lori were walking towards Grasshopper. Binx was reading another cat people book.
"Hey Grasshopper." Raven said.
"Yeah?" Grasshopper asked.
"Why is Seifer part of our destruction team?"
"Oh." Grasshopper shot a look at Moirae. "Moirae 'accidentally' told Seifer about it so he just waltz on in here.So, we're kinda stuck with him."
"Oh..Well I don't mind." She replied looking towards him with a huge grin.
"Geez..." Grasshopper said. Squall went up to Kitty, who was chugging bottle after bottle of Sake.
"HIYA SQUALL!!! YA WANT SOME?" Kitty screamed falling over off the couch. "My impression of Squall: ....Whatever(hic)..." She started to laugh maniacally.
"Okay I just wanted to say that the cast has to leave in about an hour."
"OKIDOKIE CHERIOKIE!" screamed Kitty.
"Hey Squall, why don't you go out with Kitty?" asked Raven. Squall looked at Kitty who was now talking to a wall thinking it was Sephiroth.
"No comment."
"So stab my foot." She muttered.
"I kinda can't." Squall replied looking at her steel-toed boots. By this point, everyone but Zell and Grasshopper were chugging Sake. They were starting to get quite tipsy.
"Everyone.must.bow.to.the string!" Kitty bellowed from the couch. Everyone but Zell, Grasshopper, Moirae, and Seifer started to bow. (Moirae and Seifer were.. missing.) Grasshopper just shook her head as if saying, "Pathetic morons." But maybe they shouldn't have talked because they were the ones experimenting how foamy ginger ale was and how fast it soaked into bread, pixie stix, chips, and carpet.
About twenty minutes later, Grasshopper realized something. "Thank Hyne it's a Saturday...OH CRAP!"
"What?!" asked Zell.
"The cast has to be in the auditorium in thrity-five minutes and they're completely wasted!"
"Uh, we have a problem.."
"Yeah. Luckily, the five cast members aren't too bad. Just take away whatever liquor they have."
"Okay, let's go." They grabbed every liquor bottle they found and threw them away. Thirty-five minutes later, Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, and Selphie were almost back to normal, although Squall was way more talkative than usual. After a frantic, ten-minute search for Seifer, Zell and Grasshopper found him in the broom closet with Moirae. However, everyone else was passed out on the floor, except for Kitty, who was in a corner talking to her penguins about duct taping Masamune.
"Look, everyone is going to be in a huge hangover by the time they wake up, that there is no way that we'll be able to destroy the play. Youwannagooutwime?" Zell asked quickly.
"Sure! Where should we go?" Grasshopper asked, stars in her eyes. Zell was dazed from the fact that she had actually said yes, and also from that look in her eyes. it was almost hypnotizing.
"Ummm. how about 'The Vineyard'? I heard from Selphie that it was a pretty. decent place." Zell asked.
"OK! That's perfect! Just let me get changed into something better than this." She said, indicating her SeeD uniform.
"Great! I'll meet you out front in ten minutes then?"
"Yeah. Out front, ten minutes, meet ya there!" Grasshopper said, running to get changed.
Zell ran back to his dorm, and freshened up enough to where he looked respectable. Then he ran down to the front gate, and waited for Grasshopper. He saw her coming down the stairs in a light blue evening gown, halter top style. As she reached the bottom, he whistled. "You look great, especially with your hair down!"
"Thanks. You look awesome!" She replied.
"Thanks. Well, let's go." He said, taking her arm in his and they walked to the restaurant.
*********************************************************************
Meanwhile, Back in the Dorm.
Kitty and Moirae were talking. They were wondering where in the world Grasshopper and Zell were, and they were wondering if they could pull off ruining the play by themselves, considering that everyone else was out of it.
"Well, I think that we could do it. I mean, how hard could it be? Besides, isn't Seifer dead already in that scene? He could come and help us. I mean, we only need three people, right?" Moirae was asking Kitty, who was still playing with her string.
"You tell me. You came up with the plans, after all, nai?"
"Well, yeah, but I dunno. I just dunno. We could, I mean, I designed the plans for three people. namely me, you, and Grasshopper, and seeing as how Grasshopper has disappeared, it looks like we need another person. And only one other person isn't passed out cold on the dorm floor right now, and that's Seifer." Moirae said, worriedly.
"Well, you need to make up your mind, because the play isn't going to last forever, is it?"
"All right. Let's do it." Kitty and Moirae walk out of the room, locking the door behind them. They walk towards the auditorium, and Kitty is still playing with her string. *********************************************************************** Backstage
Kitty and Moirae are sneaking around backstage. They finally find the dressing room, where they talk to Seifer.
"So, are you done?" Kitty asked him, STILL toying with her string.
"Yeah. I died last scene. I was wondering if you girls were going to go through with this or not. So, what are you doing in here?" He answered, looking confused and intrigued at the same time.
"Well, we. kinda need your help." Moirae said quietly.
"Why didn't you come out and say that first off? I'd love to help you!"
"You would?! Great! Ok, how much farther until the 'great' scene where Rhett and Scarlett kiss?" Asked Moirae, obviously relieved.
"We have about fifteen minutes until then. So, what do you propose we do in the meantime?"
Kitty played with her string. Moirae shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno."
"Well, we could come up with a different plan.." Seifer said evilly as he led them into the costume room.
*********************************************************************
At the Vineyard
"May I take your order?" asked a waiter.
"Can I cheat on my diet just once?" Zell pleaded.
"I don't care."
"Cool. I'll have the fillet mignon with a salad." Grasshopper looked at him with a weird expression. "I've kinda grown to salads.."
"Okay, and what type of dressing?" asked the waiter.
"Italian."
"Okay."
"I'll have Chicken Caesar Salad with ranch dressing." Grasshopper said.
"Okay. Now would either of you like fries with that?"
"Umm..nooooo." they both said looking at each other. The waiter walked away and they heard them say:
"I need a combo number five and combo number twelve, eighty-six the fries on both, well done and two strawberry shak- I mean 'daquiris'.
"Okay, who told you this was a good restaurant?" Grasshopper asked looking abashed.
"Selphie." Said Zell finally coming to a realization. "Oh man.. You wanna go eat some place else?"
"That would be nice." Grasshopper replied quickly looking at the other people realizing that everyone else was in jeans and t-shirt and that Zell and her were getting weird looks. They left quickly and went to Wendy's, where they could at least get fries from a place they knew. ((Grasshopper- Makes no sense but they wanted me to put that.))
*********************************************************************
Back in the Costume Room.
"Is it just me or are these clothes, a little too lacey?" asked Moirae coming out with a very tight, very revealing clothes, something that was like the Moulin Rouge constumes.
"I feel prettiful!" Kitty said coming out with almost the same clothing and turning around and looking in all the mirrors in the room. "Hehe! Millions of Kitty!" she said as she went into the room with mirrors all around it. Moirae started to rub her temples. Seifer came out in tight leather pants and a bow-tie with no shirt. They hear a dripping noise and realize Raven is probably drooling at the thought.
"I feel like a moron."
"Hey it was your idea!" Kitty and Moirae say.
"But this isn't what I laid out this morning!"
Moirae turns red and looks away. "Okay let's go out on the stage and get this over with."
"Okay, I'll go fiddle with the PA system," Kitty replied. When that was done, they went out on the stage with a happy tune playing on the stereo. Moirae and Kitty started to do the Can-can as the curtain pulled open. They were wondering how they didn't get caught. Squall and Selphie were leaning in about to kiss when 'They're Coming to Take me Away' started up. They looked up, startled, and saw Moirae and Kitty doing the Can-Can, and Seifer singing the words. "They're coming to take me away, ha ha." he sang.
Then Squall (who is still a little tipsy) started doing the Can-Can, looking very relieved that he didn't have to kiss Selphie. Selphie looks at the group for a moment, shrugs her shoulders, smiles, and joins in the Can-Can. Then Laguna stood up. "Go Squall! I knew that those tap dancing lessons would pay off!"
Squall's face went red, and he froze. Then, "WHAT tap dancing lessons?"
Laguna thought for a moment, and then he said, "Oh, that's right! Those were the tap dancing lessons I WOULD have gotten you if you had grown up with me.." He walked off.
Squall resumed his Can-Canning. They all Can-Can off-stage and the audience applauds wildly. The curtains close, and Selphie, Squall, Seifer, Kitty, and Moirae run wildly for Grasshopper's dorm.
"Whew! We made it!" breathed Moirae. Suddenly, men dressed in white pants and shirts burst into the room. Moirae, Seifer, and Selphie tried to fight them off, but they were too tired and the white-dressed men led them off in straight-jackets.
::Well, this sucks.:: thought Squall, who had now recovered from his Sake intake. ::Hyne, where's my gunblade when I need it?!::
The white-smocked men led them to psychiatric room. room 217. Kitty said quietly, "Oh darn, not again! This is the fifth time this week, guys! So, how's life been? Blah, blah, blah." she rambled on and on, and then a look of evil crossed her face.
"Ok, guys, here's the plan! I'm going to claw and chew my way out of this thing, you guys are gonna chase me, I'm gonna slam the door in," she points to guy in white numero uno, "YOUR face and break your nose, and you," motions to the second guy, "are going to run home screaming for your mommy. Sound good?"
The two nod absently, obviously not realizing what they just agreed to.
Kitty started clawing and chewing her jacket, and about three minutes later, succeeded in getting it off. Then, she went about and got everyone else's jackets undone, opened the door, let everyone out, slammed the door in numero uno's face breaking his nose, and the other guy ran home crying to his mommy.
Everyone races back to Grasshopper's dorm, where they open the door and walk in to find everyone still passed out. Then, they heard someone at the door. It opened, and in walked Grasshopper and Zell. Just as they walked in, everyone woke up.
"Where have you BEEN?!" asked Moirae.
"Nice hair," remarked Kitty.
"Didn't you check the answering machine? That thing on the table in the corner?"
Everyone looks at it, giving it the evil eye. Kitty mumbled, "So THAT'S what that red light means, huh?"
Keiry rips the phone out of the wall socket, and throwing it out of the window. "Die, evil light!!!!!!"
No one disagreed. Suddenly, they heard a phone ring. They looked around, and spied another phone in the other corner. "Hyne, Grasshopper. how many phones ya got?" said Squall.
"Just pick up the damn thing!" she yelled.
Selphie picked up the phone. "Hello, Grasshopper's dorm! Selphie speaking!"
It was Headmanster Cid. "Selphie, I want you, Squall, Seifer, Moirae, and Kitty to come to my office. NOW!"
"Yes sir!" She put down the phone. She waits a moment, and says, "Uh. guys, I think that we're in trouble."
"Who was it?!" Everyone yelled.
"Umm. someone who got us in trouble!"
"Like who?"
"Ummm. me, Squall, Seifer, Kitty, and Moirae. at least those are the names that the Headmaster mentioned.." She said. "He also said that. the five of us have to go to his office. now," she added, indicating the five that Cid mentioned. Grasshopper got down on her knees, praising Hyne that she was out with Zell when all this happened.
"Shit." said Kitty.
They walked out, certain that death was imminent. They headed toward Cid's office, and no one said anything, until Kitty spoke up. "Well, it was fun while it lasted, guys." They went into Cid's office. She started humming the death march tune.
"Sit down."
They sat down. Kitty began playing with her string again.
"Well, I suppose that you all know why you're here." Cid began. "Well, what if we said that we DIDN'T know?" Seifer asked.
"Then I would tell you that the play was a hit, and that you are all to be commended for such an original display of talent," he said.
**TOTAL SHOCK**
"NO!!!!!!!!!" They heard Squall scream.
"What?"
"MY NIGHTMARE CAME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CURSE YOU CID, MASTER OF ALL THAT IS EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANTED TO GET IN TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Squall continued.
"Okay, fine. Squall, go in the hall."
"OKAY! I think that I'll go resurrect Norg!"
Kitty stands up, slowly, and follows him. "Uh, I'm coming to!!!!"
Selphie follows, "Cool!!!! I'm coming too!"
"Ok. I think that I'll go too. Come on Moirae!" Said Seifer.
Moirae follows as if in a trance. "Okay. I haven't seen Leviathan in a while. I need to check on some GF's." she said, eagerly following Seifer.
About a minute later, Grasshopper runs into Cid's office, in her evening gown, all out of breath. "Are. they..in.trouble..yet..?" She pants.
Cid looks at her, and then he says, "No. they're going to resurrect Norg."
At the same time, their eyes open in fear. "OH NO!"
They run out of the office, and Grasshopper trips over her stiletto heels, ripping a tear in her dress. She finished ripping it, and tore off her shoes. "I knew these would be useful for something.." She said, and kept running. "IIIIIIIIIII'mmmmmmm coooooommmmminnnnnngggggg..." She says in slow motion.
Selphie is tagging behind the rest when she runs into Irvine.
"Ow!" he exclaims.
"Sorry but we're gonna resurrect Norg!"
"COOL! I wanna help!" Irvine loads his gun.
"No! We're going to resurrect him, not kill him!"
"Oh yeah!" Irvine throws his gun on the ground and starts to run towards the elevator. He realizes what he did and looks back at the poor gun lying on the ground. "MY BABY!" he yells running to his gun and kissing it.
************************************************************************
Five Hours Later
After defeating the newly resurrected Norg, everyone headed to the cafeteria. There they received a special brand of hotdog, which was cholesterol-free and still tasted like a hotdog. Zell, Seifer, Squall, Moirae, Kitty, and Grasshopper were sitting at a table, eating and discussing the night's events.
"So, did you two have fun on your little date, Zell and Grasshopper?" Asked Seifer.
"Yeah. what's it to you?" Replied Grasshopper.
"Geez. just asking.." He muttered.
"Moirae and Seifer sittin' in a tree.. K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."
Moirae looks up, takes off her shoe, and throws it at the singer. "Now who was that immature little..."
Grasshopper looks up, a shoe falling from her face.
Zell went over and hugged Grasshopper. He feels a bare leg. "What happened to your dress?"
"I couldn't run! And why was your leg there in the first place?"
"Sickos." Kitty says.
"Uhh.gotta go!" Grasshopper yells pulling Zell by the arm and heading towards the library.
"I don't even want to know what they're going to do in there." Squall says.
"Probably to kiss and hope the Library Girl With the Pigtails will run in on them, then Grasshopper will show her up by pulling him down in a passionate kiss." Rinoa says coming to sit down with them.
All stare at her.
She shrugs. "Well, its probably true."
"I'm all alone," Kitty sulks, "but worst of all, bored to FRIGGIN HELL!" She thinks a second. "I think I'll go see if Rinny's telling the truth." She runs off after the two lovebirds.
Rinoa looks around. "Hey..she's gone!" Starts cheering and does her freaky little victory dance.
Kitty suddenly pokes her head around the cafeteria door, looking ill.
Rinoa's cheer is suddenly gone.
"What is it?" Selphie asked.
Kitty trudges back to her seat. "I just remembered that the Library Committee has this thing on my head and..."
"...And your point? Everyone has this 'thing' on your head," Squall pointed out.
"Yeah," she whined, "but now I can't watch it!!! I'll have to pay that thousand gil fine I owed since...umm...I didn't turn that book in..."
Selphie winces. "Th-Thousand gil? What WAS it?"
Kitty shrugs. "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. What else?"
Everyone does the anime sweatdrop.
************************************************************************
Well, anyway, from then on, the rest is history, really.
The fangirls went about their business harassing Squall and Zell (unless of course Grasshopper was around to stop them...which was usually NOT fun for them at ALL), and the SeeDs went about on their missions.
All except Kitty, who could NOT be trusted outside Garden any longer (for you see, her SeeD license was at stake for a while), but yet they somehow managed to find it in them to allow her to REPAIR the Garden (probably because she silenced the other mechanics....).
Grasshopper and Zell continued going out (which should be apparent, for why else would she be so defensive against the fangirls who really only PRETENDED to like him to get to Squall?), and then, shortly after, so did Moirae and Seifer. But that didn't last long. For you see, not only was Seifer's controlling nature at stake, but following him around made it very hard for Moirae to do Kitty's bidding, so there was tension (because she's in on Ragnarok, too!!!). But they still like each other (well now, ain't that SWEET??? *gags*).
Squall and Rinoa have continued in their relationship (surprise, surprise), and it's been running smoothly considering the fact that Kitty's been in rehab, not allowing her much time to harass either.
Irvine and Selphie have been going good as well, ummmm..apart from that comment he made about his gun earlier....*checks* Yup. Still good.
Xu becomes president of the Drama Club, and, along with Nida (when he's not flying Garden) promise to create the most absurdly random plays ever. But trust me, they are not for human eyes. Never see a Nida/Xu original. We're WARNING you..
As for Quistis, well, she finally dates one of those blasted Trepies she's had her eye on for like...a week. (Hey! On her defense, that's a long time for a busy girl like herself!)
Rajin and Fujin (who have NOT been mentioned much in this fic, we are sorry to say, but should NOT go without notice, for they are AWESOME!!!!!) have ALSO gotten together. But, unfortunately after being kicked many times in the shin by Fujin, Rajin ran away to his mommy.
And we have all come to the conclusion that all of the mishaps in this story are the sole responsibilities of Kitty (who should be SHOT, damn it!!!).
************************************************************************
So, one day, flying over the ocean somewhere - we are not sure where exactly, for no one seems to care, really - the Garden malfunctioned.
Careening through the sky (ok, so it wasn't THAT far to fall, give or take), it crashed into the sea, where it sank to it's watery grave below.
Ok, so actually everyone in Garden was alerted, and they all cast Shells and Protects on themselves, which made this massive barrier, so that Garden became a neo-Atlantis, but it was pretty cool to watch it crash and burn anyway.
************************************************************************
So thus ends our epic tale of....epic proportions and freaky heros...who never really saved the day or anything, just provided a little humor...Aw, shit, bear with me! Come on!!!!!! GAH!!!!!!!!!!!! *internally combusts*
************************************************************************ ************************************************************************ Grasshopper: It's over...*cries and all that other crap* I think we'll make a sequel..as long as I have Zell, I'm okay!
Well, it's been great, kids, but now I have to say goodbye. Suck it up, ya wussies who are crying that it's over! We might make a sequel. ya never know! |\/|01R43
YAY!!!!! Redneck pride, ya'll. Kay, anyways, yes, it IS all my fault. *aims gun for forehead and fires* Crap!!! Dud!!!! GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *reaches for .20* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! |~|Kitty|~|
