Welcome to YET ANOTHER tiresomely silly edition of Snape Vignettes! I'm writing these instead of making billions of Quidditch robes to sell at my booth at Nimbus 2003. YEAH DUPES...my costume shop is an official VENDOR at the Harry Potter con! Fat lot of luck that's doing me now, as I am still squat on my butt writing these instead. It's four-thirty in the morning and I have to get up in two hours to go buy more fabric supplies, BUT INSTEAD I WILL ENTERTAIN YOUR EYEBALLS!!

This latest happy-go-lucky collection of everybody's favorite closet ice- cream man contains SPOILERS, so don't go reading them unless you've read the fifth Harry Potter book, which I read all the way through for ten straight hours after buying it at midnight the day it came out, because I can do that. I'm self-employed. In your face.

These stories, as always, have a maximum of three bad words in total, so if you don't like swear words, go away.

If I get any sincere requests for Hogwarts Diaries concerning books four and five, I will most certainly write them, but it may take awhile, what with my commission work, the general weather and the fact that Mars is just WAY too close to the Earth for my comfort.

Oh yes, and commission school and Quidditch robes from me, or suffer. (webpriestess@hotmail.com (Online costume shop: Chemical Wonderland)