SEVERUS SNAPE JUST DOESN'T RESPECT SARAH NOBLE (AND ALSO PUTS ON ANOTHER HAT)

"I don't, because you're an idiot," Snape said, eerily reading the title of this vignette for the second time in as many days. "You have no earthly idea what I do with my time, and your second-rate guesses are a dark blot on my honor."

"You HAVE no honor," Sarah responded while doing upside-down leg curls over a bar in her closet doorframe. "You beat up on small children for fun and profit. You need to hit the pub and pick up some fly bitches once in a while."

"I don't need your help in picking up any fly bitches, you insolent little twit!" Snape yelled angrily, throwing a very tacky, but very throwable, pillow at Sarah's head and missing. "I get all the fly bitches I can handle WITHOUT your interference!"

Sarah snorted (upside down no less, which is kinda tricky). "Yeah, I'll bet you do," she said, rolling her eyes all the way to the floor. "Get off my bed, I don't want you sitting there. You're icky."

"What bed?" Snape said testily, standing up anyway and picking a blonde hair off his shoulder. "This isn't a bed! This is a mattress you put on the floor, in an otherwise very nicely decorated room! Where the hell is your bedframe?"

"I set fire to it," Sarah answered sweetly. "I don't like bedframes. Now stop making this a horrible self-insertion story and give us some fan service."

Snape sighed a sigh of all kinds of suffering and wearying patience and all that. He crossed the room to Sarah's bureau and put some reddish-gold lipstick on from a tube resting in her makeup box. Then he put on a funny hat.

"That's what I'M talking bout, yeah," Sarah snickered.