Chapter Eight: Jessica's Mistake
"I'm afraid all I have is fruit and fish," Jessica said when Harry had returned. "I'm even out of bread at the moment."
Harry smiled. "That's alright." Then he frowned. "Jessica, those posts. In the bedroom. This isn't."
Jessica paused to look up at Harry, the skillet of fish her hand. Her face was unreadable. "Yes, it is."
Harry stepped the rest of the way into the kitchen and sat down at the table. "Jessica, what are you doing here? Why did you run?"
That got a reaction. Jessica stiffened and slowly set the skillet down on the fire stove. "Is that why you are here? To judge me?" Her voice had gone bitter and Harry blinked. He had never, ever heard that tone from Jessica.
"No. I'm here for answers." He took a deep breath. "I need to know what happened, Jessica. Please. It may be more important than either of us realizes." There was a silence for half a breath, and then Harry probed, "How did Sirius die?"
The silence stretched on. And on. Eventually, Harry realized that, though Jessica was staring at him, she wasn't seeing him. Would she be willing to talk about it? Harry threw away his doubt. She /had/ to! They didn't have a choice!
Slowly, Jessica made her way over to the table and sat down. For the first time in his entire life, Harry realized that Jessica looked delicate, as if she might break if anyone blew a little too hard. Harry began to feel nervous. This wasn't his Jess. This wasn't Sirius' Jess.
Then Jessica started to speak. "Garret was always in danger. We knew that. But weren't we all?" She paused and her gaze had fallen to stare into the table. Harry had only seen the haunted look in her expression two other times - on Sirius and on Hagrid, whenever someone mentioned Azkaban.
"He might have been in danger, but we weren't aurors. We never guessed that Voldemort would set his Reapers on Garret. But he did. Garret and Starla died. Sirius." Jessica swallowed. "Well, you know Sirius. He was. crushed. All he could think of was getting revenge. As if that would bring Garret back. He went after the Reapers alone. There was no way I could stop him."
"So, the Reapers killed him, too."
Jessica shook her head. "No. I killed him."
Harry was rocked back with shock. "What? How?"
Jessica's eyes closed with the effort she was making. "I am still not sure what happened. Sirius was caught in the crossfire between the Reapers and the Aurors who had come to back him up. He didn't die, but he might have. He fell into a coma; he didn't wake up."
When Jessica didn't immediately continue, Harry asked, "What does this have to do with you?"
Jessica swallowed. "Dumbledore was doing everything he could for Sirius. So, I left him and went to get my grandson. With his parents dead, I had to make sure he was safe. But I wasn't fast enough. Starla's parents reached him first. Starla had been muggle born and her parents blamed the wizarding community for her death. They swore that they would keep her son safe by keeping him out of our world. So, I was forbidden to ever see him again."
"Jessica," Harry interrupted, a thought occurring to him. "Garret's son, his name wasn't Chandler, was it?"
Jessica nodded. "Yes, that's him. Why?"
Harry shook his head. "I'm not sure. Please. Continue." He knew there had to be more.
Jessica took a deep breath. "I knew Chandler wouldn't be safe just because he was being raised in the muggle world. That wasn't going to stop Voldemort. So, I came up with a plan. I fashioned a version of the Patronus charm that would last for a long time, preferably until Chandler was old enough to start walking his own path, assuming he got accepted to Hogwarts and all. I fashioned his Patronus after my own, because, whatever happened, I wanted to see Padfoot walk again.
"But the spell backfired. Instead of creating a Patronus for Chandler, it did something else." Jessica shook her head. "I'm still not sure what. But, it killed Sirius, somehow the Patronus didn't create Padfoot but rather destroyed him." She barely managed to hold back the choke in her throat as she added in the barest of whispers, "They say Sirius died screaming. When it was over, there wasn't even a body to bury."
"I'm afraid all I have is fruit and fish," Jessica said when Harry had returned. "I'm even out of bread at the moment."
Harry smiled. "That's alright." Then he frowned. "Jessica, those posts. In the bedroom. This isn't."
Jessica paused to look up at Harry, the skillet of fish her hand. Her face was unreadable. "Yes, it is."
Harry stepped the rest of the way into the kitchen and sat down at the table. "Jessica, what are you doing here? Why did you run?"
That got a reaction. Jessica stiffened and slowly set the skillet down on the fire stove. "Is that why you are here? To judge me?" Her voice had gone bitter and Harry blinked. He had never, ever heard that tone from Jessica.
"No. I'm here for answers." He took a deep breath. "I need to know what happened, Jessica. Please. It may be more important than either of us realizes." There was a silence for half a breath, and then Harry probed, "How did Sirius die?"
The silence stretched on. And on. Eventually, Harry realized that, though Jessica was staring at him, she wasn't seeing him. Would she be willing to talk about it? Harry threw away his doubt. She /had/ to! They didn't have a choice!
Slowly, Jessica made her way over to the table and sat down. For the first time in his entire life, Harry realized that Jessica looked delicate, as if she might break if anyone blew a little too hard. Harry began to feel nervous. This wasn't his Jess. This wasn't Sirius' Jess.
Then Jessica started to speak. "Garret was always in danger. We knew that. But weren't we all?" She paused and her gaze had fallen to stare into the table. Harry had only seen the haunted look in her expression two other times - on Sirius and on Hagrid, whenever someone mentioned Azkaban.
"He might have been in danger, but we weren't aurors. We never guessed that Voldemort would set his Reapers on Garret. But he did. Garret and Starla died. Sirius." Jessica swallowed. "Well, you know Sirius. He was. crushed. All he could think of was getting revenge. As if that would bring Garret back. He went after the Reapers alone. There was no way I could stop him."
"So, the Reapers killed him, too."
Jessica shook her head. "No. I killed him."
Harry was rocked back with shock. "What? How?"
Jessica's eyes closed with the effort she was making. "I am still not sure what happened. Sirius was caught in the crossfire between the Reapers and the Aurors who had come to back him up. He didn't die, but he might have. He fell into a coma; he didn't wake up."
When Jessica didn't immediately continue, Harry asked, "What does this have to do with you?"
Jessica swallowed. "Dumbledore was doing everything he could for Sirius. So, I left him and went to get my grandson. With his parents dead, I had to make sure he was safe. But I wasn't fast enough. Starla's parents reached him first. Starla had been muggle born and her parents blamed the wizarding community for her death. They swore that they would keep her son safe by keeping him out of our world. So, I was forbidden to ever see him again."
"Jessica," Harry interrupted, a thought occurring to him. "Garret's son, his name wasn't Chandler, was it?"
Jessica nodded. "Yes, that's him. Why?"
Harry shook his head. "I'm not sure. Please. Continue." He knew there had to be more.
Jessica took a deep breath. "I knew Chandler wouldn't be safe just because he was being raised in the muggle world. That wasn't going to stop Voldemort. So, I came up with a plan. I fashioned a version of the Patronus charm that would last for a long time, preferably until Chandler was old enough to start walking his own path, assuming he got accepted to Hogwarts and all. I fashioned his Patronus after my own, because, whatever happened, I wanted to see Padfoot walk again.
"But the spell backfired. Instead of creating a Patronus for Chandler, it did something else." Jessica shook her head. "I'm still not sure what. But, it killed Sirius, somehow the Patronus didn't create Padfoot but rather destroyed him." She barely managed to hold back the choke in her throat as she added in the barest of whispers, "They say Sirius died screaming. When it was over, there wasn't even a body to bury."
