OR
That Chapter With the Really Stinking Long Name
"Remind me again WHY THE HELL we joined forces with this guy?" Rune grumbled as the Dragon Knights and one certain Renkin Wizard traveled the road that lead to the Dragon capital of Draqueen.
"Because we need to save Dusis from being taken over by a legion of 42 million chibi Garfakcys!" Rath replied, though his pinky toes were itching to take up a sword and slay some youkai at that very moment.
"And the Dragon Lord may be in danger!" Thatz put in.
"And I have to save my Garfakcy Snuggle Bunny from the crazy chibis!" Kharl added, a wistful look crossing his face. He soon received several alarmed glances from the three Knights. "Uhm…so…we've got to stop them?"
"Psycho," Rune muttered.
"Child molester," Thatz grumbled.
"Youkai," Rath stated resolutely.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
There was something slamming itself against the door of the Castle of Draqueen. Or, more a large legion of something were slamming themselves against the door of the Castle of Draqueen. Or whatever that place is called. (minor details)
"Your Highness," Tetheus had magically appeared by the desk of the Dragon Lord that dark, dark day. He would have been highly concerned and somewhat stressed out from the going ons of the day, but seeing as he was Tetheus and he had no soul, he wasn't. "I'm afraid to report that the chibis have found their way here. They're trying to break down the door to the palace, it seems."
"Which is only stating the obvious…" Kaistern muttered dryly. Lykouleon only nodded.
"What do you propose we do, Tetheus?" the Dragon Lord asked, worry wrought on his face. "Seeing as you're the head of security and you have no soul…"
Somewhere behind them, Kaistern snickered, but only until a large book entitled, "The Big Book of Anime and Manga Terms" beaned him over the head.
"Well, as the soulless head of security, I propose we pile as many economy sized bottles of ketchup in front of the door, sing "the Doom Song" (© Invader ZIM) as loud as we possibly can, and pray they don't get in.
There was a moment of united silence. The other four men in the room stared at the Black Officer for a moment. That is, until Lykouleon spoke up.
"THAT'S BRILLIANT!!!" the Dragon Lord declared. "Alfeegi, Ruwalk, Kaistern, find all of the economy sized bottles of ketchup in the castle!"
"Uhm…you're Highness…" Alfeegi blinked.
"Not now, Alfeegi!" Lykouleon replied. He was already searching the room for ketchup. "We must make haste before they weaken the door further! Hurry now!"
"Whatever you say, Lykouleon…" Ruwalk muttered, leaving with the other secretaries.
"No," Rune replied.
"Are we there yet?" Rath persisted.
"No," Rune replied.
"Are we there yet?" Rath asked, deciding to see how many different shades of red the elf's face could turn.
"No," Rune replied, achieving a stunning hue of red violet.
"I'm hungry," Thatz added.
"No," Rune grumbled.
"I miss my Garfakcy Snuggle Bunny," Kharl whined.
"Child molester," Rune glared.
"Are we there yet?" Rath asked again.
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"NO!!!!! NO, GOSH DANGIT, WE ARE NOT THERE YET! WE WON'T BE THERE YET FOR ANOTHER HOUR OR SO, SO QUIT ASKING ME! AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE HUNGRY, OR IF YOU MISS YOUR GARFAKCY SNUGGLE BUNNY, YOU FREAKIN' CHILD MOLESTERS, SO SHADDAP!" A vein popped in Rune's head and swelled to the size of a melon.
"Hey look, Rune, we're there…" Rath mumbled. The elf preformed a world class anime face plant.
Magically from Kharl's pants appeared Honou, Kahaku, and Riku (or Fire, Water, and Earth, for all you poor saps who are confined to Tokyo Pop's version of Dragon Knights. Well, actually, Tokyo Pop's version isn't all that bad at all, but…what was I talking about again?), all holding signs reading '10.0.'
"HEY!" Rath squawked, glaring at Kharl suspiciously. "That's where Honou went!"
"Damn horny dragons…" Thatz mumbled, retrieving Riku and sticking him back in his sword.
"DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM, DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM, DOOM DOOM DOOM, DOOM, DO-DO-DO-DOOOOOOOOM!"
The song echoed through the castle, down the hallways, through the garden as the entire inhabitants of the Castle of Draqueen (or whatever that place is called) sang the Doom Song (© Invader ZIM) at the top of their Dragony lungs.
"I think I can hear them breaking through!" Lykouleon insisted, clenching his fists in frustration. "We must not have enough ketchup!"
From behind the door came the frightening cries of the chibi Garfakcys. "WORLD DOMINATION! WORLD DOMINATION! WORLD DOMINATION!"
"I don't think the door will hold much longer Lykouleon!" Kaistern cried.
"Try to hold out just a bit longer!" Lykouleon cried. "I'm off to go find more ketchup!!!"
As the three Dragon Knights and the Renkin wizard neared the door of the Castle of Draqueen (or whatever the…oh wait, we've been over this before, haven't we?) they were met with the horrifying sight of a legion of 42 million chibi Garfakcys ramming themselves into the Great Wooden Door of the Castle of Draqueen.
"OHMIGAWD!" Kharl exclaimed. "How insidiously evil!"
"I know!" Rune cried, donning his armor (which was so conveniently stored in his pants). "Come, we must save the Dragon Lord!"
"Oh, no, it's not that," the youkai replied. "I just realized that hot dog buns come in packages of ten, while hot dogs come in package of eight! I mean, if you're gonna have an equal ratio of bun to dog, you're going to have to buy five packages of dogs and ten packages of buns! That's so evil! Do you suppose it's some sort of evil plot devised by the companies that make the dogs and the companies that make the buns to gain control of Dusis' economy and eventually claw their way to the top to accomplish their evil goal of WORLD DOMINATION?!"
"WORLD DOMINATION!" the chibi Garfakcys squeaked.
"Exactly, WORLD DOMINATION!" Kharl cried. "Hey, I didn't know my echo sounded like a legion of 42 million chibi Garfakcys, did you, Rath?"
There was no reply.
"Rath? Thatz? Rune?" Confused, the alchemist glanced around. The knights were gone.
"CHAAARGE!!!!" the three Knights shouted, armor magically donned and swords held high. The fought valiantly for about 42 and a half….
"HOLD UP, STOP IT!"
Down the path bounced a rather familiar bag with swirly designs on it, stopping at Kharl's feet and untying itself. Inside was the severed head of the Youkai Lord, Nadil.
"Oh, hello Nadil's severed head, what are you doing here?" Kharl smiled. "Did you know that hot dogs come in…"
"Yes, yes, I know, you alchemist fool!" Nadil's head bounced in frustration. "I'm here to tell the mentally handicapped author that's she's done this scene already!"
"I have?!" Magically the author, Kokoro, appeared in a pretty sparkly swirl of red smoke besides Nadil's head.
"Yes you have, you moron!" The youkai lord's dissevered head shot an evil glare at her.
"Which part?"
"The part where those stupid Dragon Knights go to fight the chibi Garfakcys!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Where does the scene start?"
Nadil's head, becoming quite agitated with the author's blinding stupidity, bellowed at the top of his lungs, which were somewhere on the other side of Dusis in his dark, gloomy, foreboding castle that was guarded by cute, fluffy bunnies, "IT STARTS WHEN THE DRAGON KNIGHTS YELL 'CHAAAAAARGE' YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL OF A TOOK!"
"Really?" Kokoro looked up and scratched her head. "Are you sure, I can't find that part anywhere…hey, you stole that last line from Gandalf!"
"No I didn't, it was perfectly original!" Nadil's head protested. "Now look harder, you moron!"
"Fine, fine, you don't need to be rude about it…."
"I'm a youkai lord, what more do you expect?"
"Well youkai lords don't always have to be rude…"
Meanwhile, Kharl, who had been watching the fight from a distance, turned and decided to go and assist the Dragon Knights in defeating the chibi Garfakcys.
"Gee, I wonder how Smurfs can reproduce…" the Renkin Wizard scratched his head. "I mean, there's only one woman amongst them. I wonder, do they have some bizarre homosexual…"
"KHARL!" Kokoro turned from Nadil's head for a moment to PMS at the alchemist. "You're supposed to be aiding the Dragon Knights, not pondering Smurf reproduction!"
"Oh…" Kharl stopped for a moment and looked up at the paragraphs that proceeded this one. "Oh, right you are! Okay, I'm off now, Author Goddess Kokoro person!"
"Good riddance!" was all he heard before the Author Goddess Kokoro Person's voice was drowned out by the terrifying battle cries of the chibi Garfakcys.
"WORLD DOMINATION!"
"Hey, look, Rune, it's Kharl!" Thatz grinned, motioned with his sword at the Renkin wizard, sending a chibi Garfakcy flying into the castle wall.
"Oh goody, Kharl's here, we're all saved…" Rune groaned sarcastically whilst beating another chibi upside the head with his magical mallet, Mr. Chuckles.
"Oi, Kharl, mind lending us a hand?" Rath waved.
"MFFFMMMMfff mmmffffm fffmmm!" (translation: "Kharl-sama, help me!") Garfakcy cried as the swarms of chibi Garfakcys uhm….swarmed around him.
"GARFAKCY SNUGGLE BUNNY!" Kharl gasped upon seeing his snuggle bunny held captive by the megalomaniacal hordes of chibis. "DON'T WORRY, I'LL SAVE YOU!"
From somewhere in his pants, the Renkin wizard pulled out….
Dun dun dun dun DUN DUN dun dun!!!
Dun dun dunneley dun dun dun dun dun dun DUUN
Du du du DUN du DUN dun dun dun dun
Dunneley lun dun dun DUUN!!!!!
Du du du du dun dun dunneley dun dun du du du du DUN!
Dun dun dun dun du du du du dunneley du du du
DUUUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!
AN ECONOMY BOTTLE OF WINDEX!
Rushing forward, economy sized bottle of Windex in hand, Kharl proceeded to nozzle the legions of chibi Garfakcy with the Windex.
"What in the hell is he doing?" Thatz asked, watching the youkai continue on his war path.
"I think he's dousing the chibis in…Windex," Rath oh so cleverly observed. Almost instantaneously (Oooo, big word. I feel smart when I use big words, don't you? Big words make you feel all important and smart when chances are you have the brain capacity of a thimble) the chibi Garfakcys fell into a comatose (More big words!) state, their little chibi eyes rolling into the back of their little chibi skulls as they passed out on the floor. (See? I told you there wasn't anything Windex couldn't solve. But did you believe me? Noooooo, you just though it was the stupid author going off on another one of her parentheses tangents, BUT I SHOWED YOU ALL, FOR I AM THE AUTHOR GODDESS KOKORO PERSON WHOM ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)
"Oh, he could have told us that A LITTLE EARLIER!" Rune grumbled, storing Mr. Chuckles in his pants once again.
"Never fear my loyal subjects, I have returned with more ketchup!" Lykouleon smiled as he flounced down the stairs and began piling more ketchup in front of the door.
"Uhm, You Highness…" Alfeegi muttered, watching the Dragon Lord go about building funny little castles with the ketchup bottles.
"Not now Alfeegi, can't you see I'm preoccupied?"
"Yes, I'm aware, Lykouleon, but I can't hear the Garfakcys anymore…"
"Oh, going into stealth are they?" Lykouleon looked at the Great Wooden Door of the Castle of Draqueen with suspicion. "I'll show them all!"
The Dragon Lord then proceeded to begin construction of a ketchup pagoda.
"Take that, you foul creatures!!"
Shaking his head, the White Secretary turned and glared at Ruwalk. "Did you forget to give His Highness his medication AGAIN?!?"
Ruwalk shook his head. "No, I think he's just having another one of his fits…"
"Oh, okay then…" Alfeegi muttered.
*Author's Note* I believe this chapter contained more inane foolishness than all the others combined. But that's okay, for I AM the AUTHOR GODDESS KOKORO PERSON! ^^ I apologize for not updating for so long, this chapter would have come about sooner, if it were not for three things. 1) My new Gameboy Advance SP, Deus 2) My other fanfiction, Once Upon a Time 3) I've been sick for the past week. -_-; Well anyways, stay tuned for the last chapter of WORLD DOMINATION coming soon! ^^)
