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Wanted: Someone Who Cares, Part 8
The clock ticked slowly. Too slowly. His eyes watched the movement of the second hand as it made it's way around the white face. It didn't ping. A minute to one thirty. "DAMMIT!" Raking a frustrated hand through his hair, Thad opened the drawer and dumped the clock in, shutting it with a resounding slam. Instead it left him with lights of red and green to deal with. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. And all he could see was HER. Penny. They opened again and lifted to the reflection on the glass. A slight bruise from Vaughn's well-placed fist marred his one cheek. Even his own gaze was as accusing as the younger man's had been, as well as Damien's had been. He grimaced about the fight Damien had been ready to start with him on Sunday. "You knew it would happen. Damien couldn't keep his temper under control. I mean would you really blame him. She's family. You would defend your own sister and cousins in the same way," he said as he stared at his reflection. "You wouldn't be able to look at yourself if you didn't understand."
He bent his head forwards and rested it in his palms. He hadn't seen her in three days. He didn't blame her, but he missed her. The sound of her laughter, her voice, the way she would smile at him, the way she would blush…the list was endless. Sighing, he ground his forehead into his palms. Her shattered look, her tear streaked face, the look of her heart breaking in her luminous green eyes. "And you did it. You did it to her. You should've known better, but you let your libido get the better of you. You let them have complete control, when you should've been using your head, you baka."
"Taken to talking to yourself."
Thad whirled around in his chair. She was standing there in the doorway. She looked pale and drawn, but she was giving him a tremulous smile. "Penny, what are you…I mean I didn't think…"
"That I would come back," replied Penny as she walked in. She absently tugged the sleeves of her corduroy jacket over her wrists before she sat down on the couch opposite his chair. "I wanted to give you the lyrics to go with the music I wrote," she said as she placed her bag on her lap and withdrew a sheet of paper. She held it out to him, watching his emotions flit across his face. Her heart pounded.
Taking the paper from her outstretched hand, he let his eyes meet hers. Her eyes fell away from his and she fiddled with the turtleneck of her chocolate brown sweater. He leaned back in his chair and read the words that she wrote.
She could feel her pulse racing out of control. Fingers continued to worry the neck of her sweater. Pale bruises could still be seen on her throat. She didn't want to advertise them. However, the memories of how she got them burned in her mind. A hot open mouth sliding over her skin, sucking and licking made her hand still and fist the other one in her lap. She bent her head, letting her ponytail hang forwards over her shoulder. "You have to stop thinking about it. It was wrong to let it happen and it's wrong to think about it now. You know nothing can happen, so why are you reliving the memories?" she thought, as she closed her eyes.
He lifted his eyes back to her again. She was looking down so that her hair cascaded over her shoulder. Part of him wanted to pull her into his arms again and kiss her, but he knew it was wrong. A small smile touched his lips. "I like it."
Her head snapped up at the sound of his voice. "You like it?"
He smiled again, wider this time. "I think it's very good, Penny."
A genuine smile crossed her face. She flushed with pleasure. "Thank you, Thad."
He loved the way she said his name. "So much so, I think I should go get the recording of the music I did last week for it."
"Huh?"
"I wanted to surprise you with it, so I had Vaughn, Donavon, and Miles record the music for it. All it needed it was lyrics and you to sing them."
"You did that for me?"
"What wouldn't I do for you?"
Heat rushed to her face and she glanced away, but a small smile managed to curve the corners of her mouth.
He felt like smacking himself for blurting that out, but she was still smiling. "We have to go to the "library" to find it," he said, mentioning the large room where all the recordings were kept.
"I help look," said Penny as she stood up, shrugging out of her jacket. She walked out of the room and down the hall to the left.
Thad followed her down the hall, trying in vain to keep his eyes off of the swing of her hips as she walked. His eyes went to the lower part of her back where her tattoo was hidden. Her skin was extremely soft in that spot. The delicate markings and their meaning suited her.
She could feel his eyes on her back as she walked. It made her clasp her hands behind her. Her palms felt sweaty. The rapid pounding of her heart thudded in her ears. She felt his eyes concentrating on the spot where her tattoo was. The memory of his fingers tracing over each mark made chills run down her back. And they were the good kind. "Stop that! You're only torturing yourself if you keep on remembering. You've been unfaithful in mind ever since you met Thad and now you've been physically unfaithful as well. You're hurting Anthony…yourself…and even…Thad," she thought as she walked into the room that housed all the studio's recordings.
He let out a sigh as he pulled his eyes away from her. Following her down to the very end of the room, since all of the recordings were alphabetized by the name of the artist. "Here we are. W's," he said as he crouched down on the floor and started to look. "You can check up on the top shelf on the other side. Use the ladder to look."
"All right," she replied as she pulled the sliding ladder over to the shelf she needed to look at. Her hands gripped cool metal as she hoisted herself up onto the ladder. She stood on one of the high rungs, bending slightly to the side to look at the slim black cases with their discs inside.
Letting out another sigh, he stood up. "It's not down on this shelf. It might be on yours." He turned around and wished he hadn't. His eyes were level with her rear end. Tight faded denim always did wonders on a woman. Penny was no different. As slender as she was, she adequately filled out a pair of jeans, especially in the back. He yanked his eyes away and cleared his throat. His skin felt tight and he suddenly felt way too hot. "Have you found it yet?"
A smile lit up her face. "Found it!" She slid out the thin case with her name on it. "It was right here next to Vaughn's," she said as she held it against her and started to climb down. Her booted foot slipped on a rung. She let go of the case.
His arms shot out automatically, wrapping around her waist and breaking her fall. Her back pressed against his chest. Closing his eyes, he let out a sigh of relief. His heart had been in his throat when he witnessed her slip. "Are you all right?"
"Yes." She could feel the warmth of his body surrounding her. It felt good. As did the strong arms wrapped about her waist.
He lowered her to the floor, realizing that he had been holding her a few inches off of the ground. His body arced over hers, tucking her against him. Resting his forehead on her shoulder, he expelled another breath. "Good. That's good," he murmured. The soft scent of her coconut shampoo tickled his nose. He inhaled.
More chills raced along her skin when she felt his warm breath through the fabric of her sweater. Her eyes closed.
Lifting his head away from her shoulder, he stood up a little straighter, but still kept her nestled against him. He pressed his cheek against her ear. Platinum mingled against caramel. "I'm sorry."
Her head lifted at his words. Green eyes slid closed.
When she didn't say anything, he closed his eyes. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. I never wanted to…I don't want to…"
A lump formed in her throat.
He turned his head slightly so his lips rested against her ear. "It was all my fault, Penny. I should've known better…but I…didn't. I never wanted to make you cry."
Her eyes opened, filling with tears.
"And there is no way I could ever make it up to you, I know that. I wouldn't want you to forgive me either. I don't want you to feel bad for what happened between us. I'll take the blame for it…I don't want you to feel bad because I couldn't help myself," he whispered, his arms holding her even tighter.
Her heart was breaking. He sounded so dejected, so upset that it made her tears finally roll down her cheeks. She brought her arms up and rested them over his, her hands grasping his forearms. Soft sobs escaped her lips. The past three days, all she could do was cry. Vaughn had stayed with her, talked to her, let her cry. It was clear to her that her cousin solely blamed Thad for what happened. But she didn't. She couldn't. "…Don't…take all the blame…on yourself…"
Opening his eyes, he could see rivulets trickling down her cheek. "Don't cry…please…Penny…please don't cry…"
"I let you kiss me…I'm at fault just as much as you are…I responded to you…I wanted to…so don't take all the blame on yourself…"
"I took advantage of you…"
She shook her head.
"…But I did. You're only nineteen years old…I'm nine years older than you…"
"Your age doesn't matter. Mine doesn't matter…you didn't take advantage of me…I let you do those…things to me because I…wanted you to…I wanted you to kiss me…to touch me," she whispered, her cheeks reddening from her admission.
Thad lifted one hand to her cheek, turning it towards him. He stared into her eyes, still glimmering with tears. "You wanted me to?'
Penny nodded her head as crystalline eyes searched hers. "Yes."
He rubbed his thumb over her damp cheek. "Then why are you still crying?"
"Because if anything, I was in the wrong. I cheated on him, but I can't help the way I feel about you…"
He stared at her. "And how do you feel about me?"
She shut her eyes and shook her head. "I can't. You know I can't…its wrong…I just…"
He kissed her. He didn't even think about it. He just did it.
Green eyes sprung open, but drifted closed again. Her heart began to race.
He didn't open his mouth. He just rubbed it against hers. Her lips were warm, soft, and tasted like her tears. "I never cared about anyone like I've cared about you," he breathed, his mouth still against hers.
The lump in her throat returned. "Thad…please…"
"Please what?"
"Please…you know that I can't…"
"I know, but I want to. I want you to know how much I care about you."
Her heart ached with what she felt for him. It made her keep her lips pressed against his. She didn't know how something so wrong could feel so right. It felt right to be in his embrace. To have his lips touching hers. To feel what she was feeling. It all felt right. But it was wrong and they both knew that. "Thad, we can't."
He could hear the cracking of her soft voice as she spoke. Her words vibrated gently against his mouth. "I know…but if I can't…just let me have this moment…even if it is wrong…please…"
Her lips parted under his.
A faint smile touched his lips as he moved them over hers. He allowed himself to take brief tastes of sweetness, his tongue barely breaching her lips with each kiss.
Every touch made her heart leap in her chest. It was making her bones melt. This was a kiss of forever. She felt it with every fiber of her being. She knew that he would always care for her, no matter what. Her lips parted even more as she drew his tongue into her mouth. It slid in, sensuously, making her shudder.
He drew her tighter against him, wanting never to let her go.
Her hands gripped his arms.
"PENNY! ARE YOU HERE! I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!"
"BELLA!"
Penny tore her mouth away and glanced at the door. "Oh God. Anthony."
A/N: Aren't I evil? I do so love to leave cliffhangers. Until next time! XOXO!!
