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Wanted: Someone Who Cares, Part 10
Weddings were depressing. He kept his eyes resolutely on the couple taking their vows. Dylan sat on his lap quietly, observing his surroundings. His son was providing him with enough distraction so he wouldn't look to the row in front of him. Sitting on aisle was Penny and Anthony. His mouth twitched and his hand tightened onto the smaller hand holding his.
"Thad, relax."
His eyes darted towards her. Mira was looking at him, her aqua eyes gentle and understanding. He loosened his grip on her hand. "Sorry."
Mira gave him a soft smile. "That's all right," she replied linking her fingers with his. Her eyes returned to the front where Miles and Cristal were before turning back to his. "I can feel that you're upset," she whispered.
Crystalline eyes locked back with the aquamarine. It was easy to forget that Mira was empathic to a degree. She could only read someone's emotions if she had physical contact with them. As she was with him. "Obvious?"
"Only to me. Maybe my dad. And Vaughn," she said nodding to the row in front of them. She was his "date" for her cousin's wedding, so she sat with his family.
He sighed and let his son lean back against him again. He rested his chin lightly on Dylan's silky blond hair. "Pretty pathetic," he mouthed to her.
Shaking her head, she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "You'll be fine," she mouthed back before she covered his hand with her other one.
Her warm touch distracted him too. He looked at the girl next to him and realized that she really wasn't a "girl" anymore either. She was eighteen. A beautiful young woman. There was no denying that the two youngest, Isabella and Mira, were just "girls" or "children" anymore. They were women. Like she was. Penny. "DAMMIT!"
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Penny felt like vise had been clamped to the base of her neck. It had felt that way all during the wedding and it felt the same way now, at the reception. She had kept her eyes away from him, but every now and then he would fall into her line of vision. Like he was now. Dylan was there, standing next to his leg, watching the people dance, laugh and drink. She had noticed that he used his son as a barrier to avoid being asked to dance by women. She had been told about that, but she had never seen it like she had tonight. The only person he had danced with was her cousin Mira. His date. Taking a small sip of the champagne in her glass, she tore her eyes away. "Anthony?"
Anthony turned his eyes towards her and smiled. "Are you having a nice time, Bella?"
Her green eyes flickered towards Thad again before returning to the soothing brown eyes in front of her. "Yes."
He touched her cheek with the back of his hand. "Although I can't help but notice that you've been a little distracted this evening. Are you feeling all right?"
She flashed him a smile. "Yes, I'm fine. What gave you that idea?"
"You're drinking."
A guilt ridden flush bloomed in her cheeks. He knew she didn't drink a lot. Let alone three quarter's of the glass of champagne in her hand. "I don't know. Weddings have a weird effect on all women. I'm no different."
He removed the glass from her hand and rose from his seat. "Come. We haven't danced yet this evening."
Taking his proffered hand, she let him lead her out to the dance floor. She rested her shin on his shoulder. Her eyes went to Thad, who was in her line of vision once again. The vise tightened once more.
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"You can't avoid her all evening, Thad."
He ignored the soft rebuke and picked up Dylan. "Your point?"
Mira let out a frustrated sigh. "You're being stupid. You think this is easy for her? She's been a mess all day." Her eyes went to his son in his arms. "And stop using your son as a barrier."
His eyes shot towards hers again. Her gaze was accusing. "I'm not."
"You are and you know it. You've avoided dancing with other women besides, your mother, your sister, and myself. You use him as an excuse because you're too scared of letting another woman close to you. You refuse to take any risk."
"I
did let a woman close to me! She's practically engaged or didn't you notice?"
"I noticed, but you have to have someone, Thad. I know you love Penny, and I know she loves you too, but…you gave her up. You were being noble and doing the right thing by not making her chose between the two men she loves. That shows how much you love her…and I know she would want you to be happy as well." Mira pressed her hand against his cheek. "I know it hurts. I've felt it from you all day, but you can't avoid the rest of the female population. You can't avoid her tonight. She's been watching you, like you have her. It's probably hurting her that you won't at least say something to her. I know the setting doesn't make it easier, but you should say hello to her."
The touch on his cheek made his expression soften. He leaned into her hand. "I'm sorry that I'm not being very good company, Mira. And I know I should say hello to her, but it's very hard to watch her with him, especially in this kind of setting." His eyes went over to Miles and Cristal dancing. The married couple looked content and happy, resting their foreheads against each other's. He shifted his son in his arms and looked over at Penny again. She was dancing with Anthony. She looked pretty tonight in a soft emerald dress that befit the Christmas season and intensified the green of her eyes. He looked down at Mira again and turned his head, kissing her palm. "I'll go over to her when the song is done."
Mira smiled and leaned up, pressing a kiss on his cheek. "Good. I'm proud of you."
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Penny watched the scene between Thad and her cousin. They looked like a perfectly matched couple. A rush of jealousy washed through her. It made her blink in surprise. She turned her eyes away. "I have no right to be jealous. He isn't mine. Mira would make a good girlfriend for him. She compliments him. I have Anthony. I made my choice long ago." The song soon ended and she found herself being led over to the object of her thoughts. "Anthony, what are you doing?"
"Saying hello to Thad of course. You haven't spoken to him this entire evening. And you must miss talking to him since I've monopolized your time this past week," he replied, grinning engagingly and squeezed her hand.
Nodding mutely, she let herself be led. This time she looked up and found ice blue eyes on her. Two pairs. Father and son. Forgetting her uneasiness, she smiled at Dylan. "Hello, Thad. Mira. And don't you look handsome tonight, Dylan?"
Dylan immediately held out his arms to her and smiled broadly.
He noticed her eyes barely made contact with his before he placed his son in her arms. "It's nice to see you again, Anthony," replied Thad, shaking the other man's hand. He looked at Penny. "You look pretty tonight, Penny."
She looked up from the child in her arms. Thad's eyes told her what he was really thinking. She flushed. "Thank you, Thad," she replied softly. She returned her attention to the boy in her arms.
Thad let his eyes fall away from the picture they presented. Dylan looked happy to be in her arms. It was exactly where he wanted to be too. He mentally kicked himself for being jealous of his own son before returning his attention to Anthony and Mira.
"I think you should ask Bella, to dance."
Thad nearly choked on the glass of champagne he had just picked up. He looked at Anthony incredulously. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She had momentarily stopped fussing over his son, her luminous eyes widening with surprise. "I don't dance."
"You've danced with Mira here. And your mother. And sister. Would it hurt to dance with Bella too?" Anthony asked, grinning slightly. "I won't tell anyone that you danced with another woman."
Swallowing, Thad shook his head. "She's your girlfriend. You haven't seen her in months."
"I know that, but dancing with you, I think would make her feel better. She's been distracted the past few days. I think she misses your company."
That statement almost made Mira cough as well. Her eyes went to Thad. "It wouldn't hurt, would it? And he is insisting, after all."
Thad's eyes went to Penny. Her gaze was wary. He looked back at Anthony. "I just wouldn't feel…"
"I insist. Bella, you think you can get him out on the floor?"
Her eyes skittered away from Thad's and glanced back down at the little boy in her arms. He was looking up at her with his father's eyes. "Anthony, we really shouldn't push him to do it, if he doesn't want to. Besides, I have Dylan in my arms."
"Mira can take him."
Penny's head snapped up at Thad's voice. "Thad, I thought…"
"It can't hurt, besides, he is insisting. One dance won't kill me I suppose."
Anthony grinned. "Good. I'm glad I was so persuasive."
Mira sighed as she took Dylan from Penny's arms. She felt her cousin's alarm as her hand brushed against her arm. She looked back at Thad, who was keeping his face impassive. "Don't step on her toes, Thad," she teased quietly, earning a slight glare from him as he took Penny's hand and led her out to the dance floor. She looked over at Anthony, who was smiling. She let out another small sigh. "So, Anthony, what are you planning to do once you graduate?"
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Penny didn't dare look up at him as she felt his hand rest lightly on her back. The song was slow, so she had no choice but to be close to him. He was loosely holding her other hand, his thumb absently rubbing across her knuckles. It made her skin tingle all over. "Why?" she asked softly.
Thad glanced down at her. "Because if I didn't, it would give rise to questions I'm sure you wouldn't want to answer, Penny. It was better to go along with it, rather than keep on refusing." He fell silent then, when she didn't say anything. "But it got me what I wanted."
She still refused to look up at him. "And that is?"
"A
dance with one of the most beautiful women in the room."
Her eyes shot up to his face. There was a tender look in his eyes. "Thad?"
"Yes?"
"I wanted to dance with you too."
Smiling a little, he held her a little closer.
She looked away, smiling a little too. "I guess we both got what we wanted then, didn't we?"
"Not quite."
Her
eyes widened in surprise as she looked back up at him. His eyes were looking at
her intently, causing a tide of heat to rise up her neck and bloom in her
cheeks. "Don't look at me like that."
"Like
what?"
"Like…like how you are right now…Thad, please, other people might notice."
"For once I don't give a damn."
His words caused her lips to part in shock. His touch had grown as possessive as his gaze. And even though it was wrong, it thrilled her. Her heart was pounding hard against her ribs as he continued to look into her eyes. It was getting difficult to breathe. Her eyes darted towards Anthony, who seemed to be in deep discussion with Mira at one of the tables that surrounded the dance floor. Her eyes went back to Thad, who was still watching her. The color in her cheeks intensified. "You have to stop looking at me like that, Thad. People will talk," she protested weakly.
"How
am I looking at you?"
"Like you…like you want to…um…"
"Kiss you."
Penny nodded her head.
Thad bent his head closer to hers, his chin resting against her temple. The smell of her was intoxicating. "I do want to kiss you. And you want to kiss me. But we won't, will we? I know this is hard for you…its hard to me too. I want to be the one who gets to kiss you every day of your life, to hold you, to touch you, but I gave that up. For you. I would give an eternity, just to have you in my life forever."
Tears immediately began to fill her eyes. Her heart was twisted into thousands of knots.
"Damn, I made you cry, didn't I," he said as he quickly glanced around before leading her off the floor to the nearby atrium. He shut the door behind him. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. "Don't cry. I'm sorry."
Sniffling a little, she took it and dabbed the tears just beginning to spill over. "No. It's all right. Weddings get me off hinge to begin with."
"So, it wasn't all me."
"No. Not all you," she replied with a watery smile.
He reached up and touched her cheek with his fingertips. "I'm still sorry though."
She unconsciously leaned against his hand. "You don't have to be."
Another smile quirked the corner of his mouth. He let his fingers trail over the smooth skin of her cheek before tracing her jaw line.
Penny didn't move as he touched her. It felt so gentle. So caring. So like him. She watched as his eyes watched his fingers. Every cell in her body was jumping from the contact, but she didn't want to pull away. She loved him so much. She wanted just this moment with him. Alone.
He
caught the look in her eyes. "Penny, don't look at me like that."
She blinked. "Like what?"
"Like you want me to kiss you."
Heat filled her cheeks again. "What's stopping you?" she blurted out, then mentally smacked herself for saying them.
Surprised by her words, he took a step closer. "Do you mean that?"
She looked up at him. His fingers were trailing down along her neck, curling around it. "N…no. I don't…" She was cut off when his mouth covered hers. Warmth flowed through her as his lips moved softly over hers.
She tasted like champagne. And strawberries. Thad kept the kiss light. His fingers strummed the back of her neck while the other one settled on her back, gently moving over the spot where her tattoo was. It took all his willpower not to pull her completely into his arms. "Tell me to stop," he whispered against her mouth.
"…Stop…" she breathed. Her lips were tingling.
"You're…not convincing…. me…"
"…Thad…please…"
"I like it…when you say my name…like that…"
His words made her feel hot all over. His tongue was brushing against her lower lip. Her heart was racing.
"You have to stop. You have to. Remove your hands and your mouth from her," his conscious snapped at him. But he didn't want to, didn't want to let her go. But he had to. For her. But before he had to, he wanted to really and truly kiss her. He pulled her into his arms.
A startled whimper escaped from her throat as his tongue slid completely into her mouth and his arms tightened around her. Her hands crept hesitantly up his arms before she wrapped her arms securely around his neck. She kissed him back, showing him how she felt.
He wanted to remember this. To remember exactly what he was giving up. It would be torture to keep this in his memories, but it would be the one moment he would never want to forget. All her sweetness, all her innocence, everything. Finally, he lifted his mouth from hers and looked down into her appealing face. Her green eyes had a dazed look in them. A slight smile touched his lips.
Penny lifted her eyes to his. He was smiling, albeit sadly. "Why?" she whispered.
"Because…I want to remember everything about you. From the way that you laugh and sing, to the way you respond when you're in my arms, to how soft your lips are. I want to remember everything about the woman I…"
She pressed her fingers against his lips to keep him from saying more. Shaking her head, she gave him a rueful smile. "Don't say it. It's better that you don't…it'll be easier if you don't," she said her eyes filling with tears again.
"Ok, but don't cry," he replied as he brushed her tears away with his fingers. "But you know I do."
"I
know. I know how you feel. I feel the same way, but it's better that its left
unsaid. We just weren't meant to be."
"I wish it didn't have to be."
"I
wish that too."
"But
you know, I can live with it. I'll be all right. If I know you're happy, you'll
be fine. You have someone that loves you that you love in return. You're heart
isn't yours to give when it already belongs to someone else and when he's
already given his to you."
She looked up at him. His words were quiet and controlled. Very poignant. It made her want to cry again. "And you're all right, with…this?"
"I have to be. Because of how I feel about you, here," he said as he pressed her hand over his heart, "I'm willing to sacrifice my happiness for yours. I'm all right because it's the right thing to do. There are a lot of things we do in life that we don't like, but they're necessary. They're the "right" things to do. I don't like it, but I'm willing to do it."
The steady beat of his heart pounded against her palm. "Oh, Thad. I would like it if you were happy too."
He pressed his forehead against hers. "I'm ok. I have Dylan. I have all I need to be happy. I gave my heart to you. You'll keep it safe. And that's enough for me."
She closed her eyes as well, enjoying his closeness.
"I thought I might find you two here."
They sprang apart, only to find a pair of cobalt eyes watching them. "Maxwell, I swear…"
Chris rolled his eyes. "You're lucky it was me." He turned his eyes towards Penny. You're boyfriend is looking for you, sweetheart."
Penny flushed under his smirking gaze. She looked back at Thad. "I'm a mess, he'll know that…"
"Shh…it's all right, sweetheart, I managed to snitch my wife's bag for you," said Chris as he handed her Victoria's purse. "There's a compact in there with a mirror."
A grateful smile crossed her lips as she took it from him. She turned her back on the two men as she repaired herself. Once she finished she handed the bag back and turned to Thad. "Your handkerchief."
Thad took it from her and looked deep into her green eyes. "Go on. He's looking for you, Penny."
She nodded her head and gave him a tremulous smile. "Thank you, Chris," she said quietly before she left them alone.
"Anytime, sweetheart," Chris said as he watched her leave. He turned his eyes towards Thad. "That was brave of you."
"Shut up."
"Touchy, aren't we?"
"You're not helping."
"But it was foolish of you too."
"I know."
"You're lucky it was me who came in here. Vaughn was looking for her…and just because he doesn't see things, doesn't mean he won't feel them. He would've beaten the shit out of you. Again."
"I know that too."
Chris
laced his fingers behind his head. "But I do admire your guts. Kissing her when
her fiancée is in the next room…"
Thad shot the other man an icy glare. "It's not something to be commended, you ass."
"It shouldn't be…no, but you were kissing her and you knew she wouldn't stop you. Penny looked well kissed and then some."
"Do you have a point, Maxwell?"
Chris shook his head, unfazed by the glare being sent in his direction. "No, there's no point. And I'm sure you don't want to hear how noble you're being. I heard the last part of your little speech." He continued to ignore the look Thad was sending him. "You're being very noble indeed."
"I don't need to hear it. I don't want to hear it."
"If you don't want to hear it, why did you let her go?"
Surprised by the serious question, he turned his eyes away and let them fall to the ground. "Because…I don't want her to chose. I don't want to be the reason she cries. If I give her up and tell her I'm all right, she won't cry."
Chris let a true smile cross his face. "A woman's tears always have an odd effect on a man. It's because we don't know what to do to stop them. You must really love her to stem her tears and tell her to go into the arms of someone else."
"Yeah, I love her," sighed Thad. "But I don't want to be told I'm being noble because of it."
"But that's what it is, isn't it? What you're doing is being chivalrous. You can't help being that way. It's just that's the way you are."
"For being a pain in the ass, Maxwell, you actually sound intelligent for once."
Shrugging, Chris let his hands fall to his sides. "What can I say, Victoria's personality has rubbed off on me. However, I'm probably always going to be the "pain in the ass Maxwell."
"Yes, you probably will be," he said as they walked back into the ballroom. His eyes fell on Penny who was being hugged tightly by her future fiancé. It felt like his heart was being ripped out, but he gritted his teeth. He would get through it. He would have to.
The younger man eyed his wife's cousin as they stood against the wall. He shook his head, wondering where Thad got the strength to do what he was. But Victoria had said to him, it was her cousin's way. He was a Peacecraft. It was THEIR way. Cobalt eyes fell on Penny. They traveled over her expertly before looking at the other man out of the corner of his eye. "To give that up, Thad is fucking insane," he muttered so his wife's cousin wouldn't hear him.
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Penny held onto Anthony as they slow danced. The backs of her eyes were burning with unshed tears, but she had promised him she wouldn't cry. Her hands clutched the back of his jacket.
"Are
you all right, Bella?"
Her eyes fell on Thad standing with Chris. Her heart was beginning to break. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Yes, I'm fine. Just don't let me go."
"Never," Anthony whispered as he kissed her temple.
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Thad heard what Chris had said. "And who am I to disagree. I am fucking insane. I just gave up the woman I love."
A/N: I know it's been awhile, but here it is! Stay tuned for the next part of "Secrets," coming your way soon! XOXO!!
