Chadron
Thanks once again for the reviews, keep them coming!
Oh, and something really important I forgot to add in the other 3 chapters: Disclaimer: This characters are not mine, except for Antonella.
Chapter 4: Explanations
"Hello?" Chandler said as he picked up the phone, which had been ringing for a while now.
"Hey man, what's up?" it was Joey.
"Hi Joey," Chandler replied, turning off the tv.
"We were wondering if you wanted to come and eat with us," he asked.
"I-I don't know, Joey," Chandler said, knowing he probably owned some explanation after leaving like he did the night before.
"Why not?"
"I'm just not in the mood for going out right now."
"Chandler, we live next to you," Joey said.
"I know, but it's still too much... effort."
"Walking for 5 seconds is too much effort?" Joey asked, not believing his excuse.
"Well, yeah... I-I get tired easily," Chandler lied.
"Right... Look, if you don't want to come just say you don't like hanging out with us or whatever, don't make up crap," Joey said and hang up. He was tired of Chandler lying all the time and not being able to tell them what was wrong with him.
Chandler put the phone down and sighed. He knew Joey was just trying to be his friend, and he really appreciated it, he was thankful he had met two people like Phoebe and Joey to be there for him so he wouldn't feel as lonely in this new place, but he felt they pressured him too much.
He sat back on the couch and turned on the TV, leaving it in the channel it had been before, but not really paying attentiong to what was on.
--
"Well, my mom writes erotic novels," Antonella laughed at this and Chandler smiled, "Wait until you hear what my dad does," he said, "and my dad is a gay man who works in Las Vegas, in the 4 Queens Club."
That sent her off, "Oh my God, are you serious?"
Chandler grinned, "Actually, yes."
"I can't believe it... I thought your name was what was most weird in you," Chandler made a face.
"Well, I see you are eager to meet my parents."
"Oh, no, I am!"
He smiled. "You know, I had never been able to calmly tell this to anyone. I was always worried about how they would react or how they would think about them afterwards, but with you... It's just different, I feel like telling you anything and I know you won't judge me for it."
Antonella took his hand, "I'm glad you feel like that," she kissed his cheek gently, "I feel like that too, y'know... And I hope you feel like that with anything else you feel like telling me."
"I most probably will," Chandler replied and gave her hand a small squeeze.
It had actually been like that, he had never hidden anything from her, not even the smallest secret, except when it came to surprises, though he was pretty close to telling her many times.
--
Chandler decided to take a nap, his mind was driving him nuts, too many memories haunting him and not leaving him alone.
At 6:35pm he woke up again. Feeling bad about rejecting Joey's invitation once again, he decided he would show up and apologize for his behavior.
He grabbed his coat and went over to Joey's house. After knocking twice, Phoebe opened the door. She looked surprised.
"Chandler, hi! I didn't know you were coming, Joey said you didn't want to come," she said as she fully opened the door to let him in, "Come in."
"Thanks," he said as he entered the house, "I just came to apologize to Joey for my behavior, he seemed pretty upset."
"Oh, it's ok, don't worry," she said. "Well, since you are here stay with us."
Phoebe and Chandler walked towards the living room, where he saw Joey and Monica sitting by the fire.
"Chandler, hey," Joey said as he stood up and shook his hand. "Glad to see you changed your mind."
"I came to apologize, for earlier."
"It's ok, don't worry man, really," Chandler smiled. "Oh, I suppose you remember Monica?"
"Yeah, I do," he said and looked at her. "Hi."
"Hi," she replied silently.
"We met her last night and invited her over." Phoebe explained.
"Yeah, and we wanted to invite her friend Rachel, but she couldn't come," Joey said sadly.
Phoebe smiled. "You mean you wanted to invite her," Joey just smiled.
The four of them sat down and started talking about anything and everything. They talked a bit about Chandler, mainly about his life in New York and his family, but he never let too many details escape his mouth, until the expected moment came.
"So, Chandler..." Joey started slowly. "About last night, at the party..."
"Yeah?" Chandler asked, trying to act as if he didn't know what he wanted to ask.
"Well, Monica told us what happened and," Chandler looked at Monica as she looked down, "Well, we just want to know what that was all about."
Chandler sighed, he didn't want to talk about this. "Nothing, I was just tired that I decided to come back home," he said, obviously avoiding what he knew was the point of Joey's question.
"Chandler, you know we are not talking about your reaction or why you left," Phoebe continued, "It's about that certain... word which made you walk away the way you did."
Chandler looked down, not knowing what to do. He could either keep playing the fool and ignore the question or just tell them the truth. He prefered to go for the first option, so he stood up and picked up his coat.
"Chandler don't walk away again," Phoebe said, "we are your friends, talk to us, we want to know, and it will help you."
Chandler knew she was right, it could really help him to just get it out.
"Tell us, Chandler, we are here for you," Joey insisted, and before he knew, Chandler was speaking angrily.
"Fine, you wanna know why I'm here? You want to know why on *earth* I decided to move from new York to this small shitty town? You want to know why I freak out when someone mentions my wife and why I haven't talked about her during this week and few days I've been here?!" Chandler didn't make an attempt to lower his voice, neither did Phoebe, Joey and Monica to calm him down. "Because she is fucking dead! Yes, my wife, I was married for 3 whole years, had met her two years before that, we were living happily and in love, and she died!"
It was too much to take, Chandler fell on his knees and started sobbing, trying to get everything out, trying to say everything he had meant to say since his wife had died. "We had fought that morning, I left slamming the door, she had gone to take a shower as she usually did after we fought, just trying to calm down..." he kept sobbing uncontrollably as Joey put one hand on his shoulder, feeling guilty for making him talk about this, "and for some reason... some stupid reason, the fucking water heater turned off, there were no windows open and she didn't feel the gas coming out..." he looked at his hands as he shook, "by... by the time I got home from that long walk, i-it was too late, I opened the bathroom door, ready to apologize, an-and it was already too late..." he put both hands to his face as he started crying loudly.
Phoebe and Joey looked at each other, not knowing what to do. At the same time they went over to him and hugged him. Monica just stared at them, not believing what had just happened. His wife was dead?
"I'm sorry," they heard him say, "I'm sorry..."
"Shh, it's ok Chandler," Phoebe said, "Don't apologize, we understand..."
"I didn't mean to yell, I just--"
"You just needed to take everything out, we know," Monica said, getting closer to him and resting one hand on his shoulder. "It's good you did, Chandler, it wasn't good for you to keep all that inside. Just keep in mind you can count on us to talk about this, and anything else," Chandler quietly nodded, trying to calm down.
"I just need to take a walk... alone, I need time to think," they nodded, "Thanks," he whispered softly as he stood up, Phoebe handed him some tissues.
"You may need them on the way," she said.
"Thank you," he said softly as he left the house and started to walk around.
--
"SURPRISE!" everyone in the house yelled.
"Wh-what?" Chandler asked surprised.
"Happy birthday, sweetheart!" Antonella said as she kissed his cheek before everyone stood up and went over to hug him.
"But I thought you had said it was going to be a celebration between the two of us," he said as he looked at the decorated house, full with balloons and a "Happy Birthday" sign.
"Well, I lied. If I had told you I was going to invite all these people it wouldn't have been fun," she said and grinned like a little girl. God, how he loved when she did that.
Chandler smiled. "That's true," he leaned over and kissed her on the lips. "I'm so lucky to have you."
"So am I."
"Thanks for this, honey, it's the best birthday surprise I've ever had."
"You deserve it," she said as she hugged him tightly.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you," he whispered as he hugged back, not wanting to let her go.
"Me neither," she replied and they both laughed.
--
By now Chandler was sitting on a bench, in a park blocks away from his house. He looked up at the sky and wondered which star Antonella was. He kept looking up until his neck started hurting.
He looked at his hands, and suddenly reached for the chain hanging from his neck. He took the ring out and looked at it. "A.D. & C.B. - 1999". After reading the inscription, he put it back on his finger.
"Just for tonight," he whispered.
*
After an hour of being at the park thinking he returned home to find Monica sitting on the stairs in front of his house.
"I was about to leave, I didn't think you were going to come back any time soon," she said as she stood up.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Just wanted to talk," she said, "Do you want me to leave?" she asked after a few seconds.
"No, no, it's ok, come in," he said as he opened the door and both entered the warm house.
"Look, I just wanted to apologize... for last night and for tonight as well, I guess," she said as she sat down.
"No need to apologize. I guess I needed to get it all out, it kind of helped."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Well, of course it still hurts, and I still miss her as much, but at least I got it out, y'know?" Monica nodded.
"I know we don't really know each other, but I just wanted to tell you I'm here for you if you need me. And I'm sure Phoebe and Joey are too."
He smiled. "Thank you, I will keep that in mind."
"So..." Monica started, not sure whether she could ask or not. "Were you close to your wife?"
"Yeah, she was my best friend," he said as a smile grew on his face. He was thinking about her. "We got along really well. We fought, of course, but nothing terrible... and we always made up," he grinned, "that part was the best one from fighting," Monica laughed. "I'm sure she knew me more than I knew myself," Chandler added. Monica smiled, he talked about her as if she had been the perfect woman.
"How was it for you when she died?" she asked.
"At first I couldn't believe it. Nothing of it was happening to me, cops were asking me questions about what had happened and I replied, not really believing what I was saying. When I finally realised it was true, she wasn't here anymore and she would never be, it was awful," he looked at his hands and played with the ring, "I never wanted to leave the house again, I didn't want to live anymore really, I just wanted to die and be with her forever."
Monica took his hand, feeling bad for him. It must have been an awful experience, something she sure never wanted to go through. Realising how tense the mood was getting, Monica decided to change the topic and they started talking about different things, lighter things.
Monica looked at her watch, "Well, it's time for me to go, my boyfriend must be wondering where I am, I told him I would be home an hour ago."
'She has a boyfriend?' he wondered. That thought hadn't crossed his mind, but it was kind of obvious, she was pretty and fun to be with. "Ok, I hope to see you soon," he said sincerely.
"I hope so too," she replied and smiled, "Remember I'm here for you, Chandler."
He smiled. "I know. Thanks."
"Bye"
"Bye," and she was gone. Minutes later Chandler was already in bed, trying to fall asleep.
--
"I don't know what I would do without you," Chandler said to her as they layed in bed, Chandler holding her tightly from behind.
"Me neither," she replied as she placed her hands over his, he kissed her temple. "Chandler, promise me something," she suddenly said, looking serious.
"What's that?"
"If I'm ever go--"
Chandler cut her immediately, "Is everything ok? Are you ok?"
She chuckled, "Yes honey, I'm fine, just listen. If I'm ever gone," she swallowed, "I want you to be happy, ok? I don't want you to stop living just because I did, I want you to continue with your life," she turned around to face him.
Chandler looked at her. "But--"
She put a finger over his lips to stop him from talking. "I'm not saying it will happen any time soon or anything, but let's face it, there's always the possibility, and I seriously don't want you to stop having a life, Chandler. I want you to be happy, with or without me, you hear me?"
Chandler just nodded, silently hoping that day would never come. She was doing the same.
--
'I want you to be happy, with or without me'. Those words kept running through Chandler's head over and over. He looked at the ring on his hand and took it off.
"I'm trying, babe," he whispered, "I'm really trying," he continued as he put the ring back on the chain, and the chain back around his neck. "It's just so hard without you..." he said as he closed his eyes and slowly started to fall asleep.
To Be Continued...
I hope you liked this one. One thing, I realise the reason why Chandler's wife died may be a little... old, to say something, because now bathrooms usually don't have the water heater inside (or boiler, however you actually call it) of it because many people died this way, but well, I needed a reason and this is what I came up with, so I hope everyone forgives me :) Please review!
Thanks once again for the reviews, keep them coming!
Oh, and something really important I forgot to add in the other 3 chapters: Disclaimer: This characters are not mine, except for Antonella.
Chapter 4: Explanations
"Hello?" Chandler said as he picked up the phone, which had been ringing for a while now.
"Hey man, what's up?" it was Joey.
"Hi Joey," Chandler replied, turning off the tv.
"We were wondering if you wanted to come and eat with us," he asked.
"I-I don't know, Joey," Chandler said, knowing he probably owned some explanation after leaving like he did the night before.
"Why not?"
"I'm just not in the mood for going out right now."
"Chandler, we live next to you," Joey said.
"I know, but it's still too much... effort."
"Walking for 5 seconds is too much effort?" Joey asked, not believing his excuse.
"Well, yeah... I-I get tired easily," Chandler lied.
"Right... Look, if you don't want to come just say you don't like hanging out with us or whatever, don't make up crap," Joey said and hang up. He was tired of Chandler lying all the time and not being able to tell them what was wrong with him.
Chandler put the phone down and sighed. He knew Joey was just trying to be his friend, and he really appreciated it, he was thankful he had met two people like Phoebe and Joey to be there for him so he wouldn't feel as lonely in this new place, but he felt they pressured him too much.
He sat back on the couch and turned on the TV, leaving it in the channel it had been before, but not really paying attentiong to what was on.
--
"Well, my mom writes erotic novels," Antonella laughed at this and Chandler smiled, "Wait until you hear what my dad does," he said, "and my dad is a gay man who works in Las Vegas, in the 4 Queens Club."
That sent her off, "Oh my God, are you serious?"
Chandler grinned, "Actually, yes."
"I can't believe it... I thought your name was what was most weird in you," Chandler made a face.
"Well, I see you are eager to meet my parents."
"Oh, no, I am!"
He smiled. "You know, I had never been able to calmly tell this to anyone. I was always worried about how they would react or how they would think about them afterwards, but with you... It's just different, I feel like telling you anything and I know you won't judge me for it."
Antonella took his hand, "I'm glad you feel like that," she kissed his cheek gently, "I feel like that too, y'know... And I hope you feel like that with anything else you feel like telling me."
"I most probably will," Chandler replied and gave her hand a small squeeze.
It had actually been like that, he had never hidden anything from her, not even the smallest secret, except when it came to surprises, though he was pretty close to telling her many times.
--
Chandler decided to take a nap, his mind was driving him nuts, too many memories haunting him and not leaving him alone.
At 6:35pm he woke up again. Feeling bad about rejecting Joey's invitation once again, he decided he would show up and apologize for his behavior.
He grabbed his coat and went over to Joey's house. After knocking twice, Phoebe opened the door. She looked surprised.
"Chandler, hi! I didn't know you were coming, Joey said you didn't want to come," she said as she fully opened the door to let him in, "Come in."
"Thanks," he said as he entered the house, "I just came to apologize to Joey for my behavior, he seemed pretty upset."
"Oh, it's ok, don't worry," she said. "Well, since you are here stay with us."
Phoebe and Chandler walked towards the living room, where he saw Joey and Monica sitting by the fire.
"Chandler, hey," Joey said as he stood up and shook his hand. "Glad to see you changed your mind."
"I came to apologize, for earlier."
"It's ok, don't worry man, really," Chandler smiled. "Oh, I suppose you remember Monica?"
"Yeah, I do," he said and looked at her. "Hi."
"Hi," she replied silently.
"We met her last night and invited her over." Phoebe explained.
"Yeah, and we wanted to invite her friend Rachel, but she couldn't come," Joey said sadly.
Phoebe smiled. "You mean you wanted to invite her," Joey just smiled.
The four of them sat down and started talking about anything and everything. They talked a bit about Chandler, mainly about his life in New York and his family, but he never let too many details escape his mouth, until the expected moment came.
"So, Chandler..." Joey started slowly. "About last night, at the party..."
"Yeah?" Chandler asked, trying to act as if he didn't know what he wanted to ask.
"Well, Monica told us what happened and," Chandler looked at Monica as she looked down, "Well, we just want to know what that was all about."
Chandler sighed, he didn't want to talk about this. "Nothing, I was just tired that I decided to come back home," he said, obviously avoiding what he knew was the point of Joey's question.
"Chandler, you know we are not talking about your reaction or why you left," Phoebe continued, "It's about that certain... word which made you walk away the way you did."
Chandler looked down, not knowing what to do. He could either keep playing the fool and ignore the question or just tell them the truth. He prefered to go for the first option, so he stood up and picked up his coat.
"Chandler don't walk away again," Phoebe said, "we are your friends, talk to us, we want to know, and it will help you."
Chandler knew she was right, it could really help him to just get it out.
"Tell us, Chandler, we are here for you," Joey insisted, and before he knew, Chandler was speaking angrily.
"Fine, you wanna know why I'm here? You want to know why on *earth* I decided to move from new York to this small shitty town? You want to know why I freak out when someone mentions my wife and why I haven't talked about her during this week and few days I've been here?!" Chandler didn't make an attempt to lower his voice, neither did Phoebe, Joey and Monica to calm him down. "Because she is fucking dead! Yes, my wife, I was married for 3 whole years, had met her two years before that, we were living happily and in love, and she died!"
It was too much to take, Chandler fell on his knees and started sobbing, trying to get everything out, trying to say everything he had meant to say since his wife had died. "We had fought that morning, I left slamming the door, she had gone to take a shower as she usually did after we fought, just trying to calm down..." he kept sobbing uncontrollably as Joey put one hand on his shoulder, feeling guilty for making him talk about this, "and for some reason... some stupid reason, the fucking water heater turned off, there were no windows open and she didn't feel the gas coming out..." he looked at his hands as he shook, "by... by the time I got home from that long walk, i-it was too late, I opened the bathroom door, ready to apologize, an-and it was already too late..." he put both hands to his face as he started crying loudly.
Phoebe and Joey looked at each other, not knowing what to do. At the same time they went over to him and hugged him. Monica just stared at them, not believing what had just happened. His wife was dead?
"I'm sorry," they heard him say, "I'm sorry..."
"Shh, it's ok Chandler," Phoebe said, "Don't apologize, we understand..."
"I didn't mean to yell, I just--"
"You just needed to take everything out, we know," Monica said, getting closer to him and resting one hand on his shoulder. "It's good you did, Chandler, it wasn't good for you to keep all that inside. Just keep in mind you can count on us to talk about this, and anything else," Chandler quietly nodded, trying to calm down.
"I just need to take a walk... alone, I need time to think," they nodded, "Thanks," he whispered softly as he stood up, Phoebe handed him some tissues.
"You may need them on the way," she said.
"Thank you," he said softly as he left the house and started to walk around.
--
"SURPRISE!" everyone in the house yelled.
"Wh-what?" Chandler asked surprised.
"Happy birthday, sweetheart!" Antonella said as she kissed his cheek before everyone stood up and went over to hug him.
"But I thought you had said it was going to be a celebration between the two of us," he said as he looked at the decorated house, full with balloons and a "Happy Birthday" sign.
"Well, I lied. If I had told you I was going to invite all these people it wouldn't have been fun," she said and grinned like a little girl. God, how he loved when she did that.
Chandler smiled. "That's true," he leaned over and kissed her on the lips. "I'm so lucky to have you."
"So am I."
"Thanks for this, honey, it's the best birthday surprise I've ever had."
"You deserve it," she said as she hugged him tightly.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you," he whispered as he hugged back, not wanting to let her go.
"Me neither," she replied and they both laughed.
--
By now Chandler was sitting on a bench, in a park blocks away from his house. He looked up at the sky and wondered which star Antonella was. He kept looking up until his neck started hurting.
He looked at his hands, and suddenly reached for the chain hanging from his neck. He took the ring out and looked at it. "A.D. & C.B. - 1999". After reading the inscription, he put it back on his finger.
"Just for tonight," he whispered.
*
After an hour of being at the park thinking he returned home to find Monica sitting on the stairs in front of his house.
"I was about to leave, I didn't think you were going to come back any time soon," she said as she stood up.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Just wanted to talk," she said, "Do you want me to leave?" she asked after a few seconds.
"No, no, it's ok, come in," he said as he opened the door and both entered the warm house.
"Look, I just wanted to apologize... for last night and for tonight as well, I guess," she said as she sat down.
"No need to apologize. I guess I needed to get it all out, it kind of helped."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Well, of course it still hurts, and I still miss her as much, but at least I got it out, y'know?" Monica nodded.
"I know we don't really know each other, but I just wanted to tell you I'm here for you if you need me. And I'm sure Phoebe and Joey are too."
He smiled. "Thank you, I will keep that in mind."
"So..." Monica started, not sure whether she could ask or not. "Were you close to your wife?"
"Yeah, she was my best friend," he said as a smile grew on his face. He was thinking about her. "We got along really well. We fought, of course, but nothing terrible... and we always made up," he grinned, "that part was the best one from fighting," Monica laughed. "I'm sure she knew me more than I knew myself," Chandler added. Monica smiled, he talked about her as if she had been the perfect woman.
"How was it for you when she died?" she asked.
"At first I couldn't believe it. Nothing of it was happening to me, cops were asking me questions about what had happened and I replied, not really believing what I was saying. When I finally realised it was true, she wasn't here anymore and she would never be, it was awful," he looked at his hands and played with the ring, "I never wanted to leave the house again, I didn't want to live anymore really, I just wanted to die and be with her forever."
Monica took his hand, feeling bad for him. It must have been an awful experience, something she sure never wanted to go through. Realising how tense the mood was getting, Monica decided to change the topic and they started talking about different things, lighter things.
Monica looked at her watch, "Well, it's time for me to go, my boyfriend must be wondering where I am, I told him I would be home an hour ago."
'She has a boyfriend?' he wondered. That thought hadn't crossed his mind, but it was kind of obvious, she was pretty and fun to be with. "Ok, I hope to see you soon," he said sincerely.
"I hope so too," she replied and smiled, "Remember I'm here for you, Chandler."
He smiled. "I know. Thanks."
"Bye"
"Bye," and she was gone. Minutes later Chandler was already in bed, trying to fall asleep.
--
"I don't know what I would do without you," Chandler said to her as they layed in bed, Chandler holding her tightly from behind.
"Me neither," she replied as she placed her hands over his, he kissed her temple. "Chandler, promise me something," she suddenly said, looking serious.
"What's that?"
"If I'm ever go--"
Chandler cut her immediately, "Is everything ok? Are you ok?"
She chuckled, "Yes honey, I'm fine, just listen. If I'm ever gone," she swallowed, "I want you to be happy, ok? I don't want you to stop living just because I did, I want you to continue with your life," she turned around to face him.
Chandler looked at her. "But--"
She put a finger over his lips to stop him from talking. "I'm not saying it will happen any time soon or anything, but let's face it, there's always the possibility, and I seriously don't want you to stop having a life, Chandler. I want you to be happy, with or without me, you hear me?"
Chandler just nodded, silently hoping that day would never come. She was doing the same.
--
'I want you to be happy, with or without me'. Those words kept running through Chandler's head over and over. He looked at the ring on his hand and took it off.
"I'm trying, babe," he whispered, "I'm really trying," he continued as he put the ring back on the chain, and the chain back around his neck. "It's just so hard without you..." he said as he closed his eyes and slowly started to fall asleep.
To Be Continued...
I hope you liked this one. One thing, I realise the reason why Chandler's wife died may be a little... old, to say something, because now bathrooms usually don't have the water heater inside (or boiler, however you actually call it) of it because many people died this way, but well, I needed a reason and this is what I came up with, so I hope everyone forgives me :) Please review!
