The Story of a Girl

(A/N: Spanks to the wonderful songwriters who came up with that song! Yes, it's suck-up time in Phoenix Land!)

September 1st - I was on the train today. Neither Harry nor Ron was on board yet, so I found an empty compartment in which to wait for them. The train was going to leave in three minutes, so I had begun to get anxious. After all, the same thing had happened in our second year, and Harry had gotten hurt.so did Ron. I had better stop thinking of Harry before I get myself into trouble. After all, I wouldn't want to develop a crush on one of my best friends, especially Harry. I would never be able to keep it from him. I mean, I never can keep secrets from Harry. He seems to always understand me, to know what I'm thinking unlike anyone else.

September 5th - All Ron and I do is argue. We don't get along as well as Harry and I do.we never have. He is always trying to change me, but Harry just accepts who I am, and even better, he loves me for my quirks. Okay, so maybe he doesn't "love" me the way I just "might" want him to.no, I can't think like that. Maybe I'll stop thinking this way if I get a good night sleep.

September 13th - I might as well admit it. I love Harry. Harry - my best friend, the one guy who stands beside me even when everyone else ignores me or taunts me.He's my Harry.okay, maybe he's not MY Harry. It's just wishful thinking.

September 21st- Today I was pulled from my thoughts in the library as the two boys I have been thinking about showed up.Ron with his flaming red hair and freckles, and Harry with his perfect green eyes that I can never take my own eyes off of. As they sat themselves down in seats across from me, they both said 'Hey, Hermione' at the same time; I find that to be so cute. Then, I lost track of time looking into his eyes.again. Harry began to become obviously worried, and I snapped out of my daze. He said to me, "Hermione? Are you feeling alright? You look sort of.dazed and confused." I came up with some lame excuse for my appearance that isn't even worth putting down on paper. What worried me the most was he read my emotions again like he always does; what if next time I make it obvious that I'm daydreaming about him?

October 2nd- He is always so concerned for his friends, worried that he's going to endanger us. He never stops to think about what he needs, what he is feeling. All of his thoughts seem to revolve around the safety of the people in his life. Harry is so selfless and loving. He just needs to sit down and care for himself for a moment. However, I know that will never happen, and this is why he needs someone to do that for him. Harry always seems to think that he is invincible, but he's not. I only have to look back at any of our years together at Hogwarts, and I'm reminded of this. He has come so close to dying throughout the years, but to Professor Trelawney's disappointment (the hoax of an old batty seer that she is), he always survives. I'm just scared that a day will come when his luck will run out.

October 14- I don't think I would be able to handle losing Harry. Especially not before I tell him how I feel about him. But I will never be able to do that. There is too much a chance that he doesn't feel the same way, and then our friendship would be destroyed. I know I will someday regret not telling him that I love him, but I will have to burn that bridge when I come to it. I'm too much of a coward. I would never be able to go up to Harry and tell him my feelings because I am too afraid that he won't understand, that he won't be able to return my feelings. If only he would give me some sign that he feels the same way about me that I do about him. But I must face the fact that that sign will never come. And my confession of my feelings will never be revealed to him.