Hogwarts Confessional
(A/N: Yeah, I got the idea for the title from "Dashboard Confessional")
September 30th -
I think I'm going insane. Ever since the 21st, I've been going crazy,
arguing with myself in my head, all over what happened, over what I saw.
Or, rather, didn't happen and didn't see. It all started when Ron and I
were looking for Hermione after Divination. We decided to look for her in
the most likely place she would be: the library. So, Ron and I rushed
through the doors and found her at a table, buried in a book, as always.
Not that I think it's bad, I actually think it's a cute quirk of hers. We
sat down across from her, and we both said "Hi Hermione" at the same time.
She laughed. I love her laugh. I love her.
October 1st -
I should really finish that story of what happened, so here goes. I
noticed that she was looking in my eyes with a dazed expression. I first
thought that she was thinking about me, but she couldn't have been. She
must have been sick or something. So then I said "Are you feeling alright?
You look sort of dazed and confused." She said "Oh, I'm just thinking
about this book I'm reading, it's really interesting." I knew she was
lying because in her hands was "Hogwarts, A History." She even admitted to
me once that she had lost interest in it because she has read it for what
must be 50 times. So maybe she was thinking about me. I wish.
October 10th -
I love her so much. But she'll never love me back. And even if I told her
how I feel - which won't ever happen, but I'm speaking hypothetically - she
would insist on a platonic relationship. But it wouldn't work out when she
knows that I love her more than we both can stand. And plus, even if we
were able to keep that friendship alive, Voldemort would go after her,
knowing that she is my one and only weakness.other than my parents and Ron,
but still. I would never be able to handle losing her. I would rather die
myself. But if either of us were to die at the hands of Voldemort, I think
I would always regret not telling her how I feel. That kind of regret can
eat a person away on the inside. But even knowing this, I still can't tell
her how I feel. I wish she would just tell me that she wants me to be more
than her friend (bloody hell, just her saying that she wants me would be
enough). But she won't ever tell me that. And she will never know how I
truly feel.