"Uhhh, Bright just shut up already", I yell downstairs to my brother, who is just digging his grave deeper. He went out with Suzie parks now he has to pay the price, but do we all have to hear about it? Soon the house became peaceful again. To peaceful for my liking. I rolled over on my bed and grabbed the remote to my stereo, and pressed the on button. Selecting one of the old CD's Ephram had left at my house and I didn't have the heart to give back to him. Blasts of Audioslaves, "Like A Stone", came out the speakers and chased away all the confusing thoughts in my mind. But the thoughts soon came spiraling back. Why can't things between Ephram and I just be normal? A girl and a guy can just be friends right? But did I just want to be friends with someone who every time I was near, gave me excited shivers and made my heart feel like it was about to pound out of chest. But it was just an attraction. I mean Ephram is really handsome and had there not been Colin in the picture, than her and he may be together right now. I laid my head down on my pillows and reached underneath my bed to find my old picture album. I opened it at the beginning and let the pictures take me back into the memories of when the shots had been taken. The first few pages where of my family and I on a few different vacations. Then came the Colin chronicles. I turned the page to the one with us on Valentine's Day. The year before the accident happened. I was looking into Colin's eyes and he was looking into mine. I can still remember that certain sparkle he had in his eyes. But when I saw him after the accident I should have known he wasn't the same person. He didn't have that sparkle in his eye anymore.
How can things change so drastically? One minute I had a life I was fairly content with the next I'm living my life in a hospital. How many girls can say they know how many dots are on the ceiling of a hospital room. Ephram understood though. When my parents couldn't see why I had to be near Colin, when Bright couldn't look at Colin because of the tremendous guilt he felt and when Colin's mom wouldn't let me see my own boyfriend Ephram had been there. I should have been there in return for him. I ditched him and casted him aside as soon as Colin came back into the picture. The reason being now that I can see without a buyist mind is that I was scared. I felt safe with Colin and thought that I owed it to be there for him. If I admitted my feelings to Ephram I would be in uncharted territories and I didn't know how to handle that. So I avoided him and treated him badly so he would stay away. So that the threatening feelings of like and love would not come up again and again. I'm still in love with him. I've been falling more and more in love with him every time I here his voice and see his eyes. It doesn't matter now though. It's obvious that Ephram has moved on. How could he possibly even think about me in any way, after the way I have treated him. I flipped to the back few pages of the book and looked at the pictures of Ephram and me. I guess memories of him are all I have now. I ran my finger over the picture of Ephram and me at prom. He had been so adorable asking me to go with him. He hung a banner outside of school in an area of where I go past everyday. I thought I had slipped into some kind of dream world. But I had to go and make another mistake. Oh we got to the dance all right but the evening ended in a fight, as usual between Ephram and me. He told me all about how he felt when his mother died and how he felt when Colin came back. Then I kissed him and he kissed back. It was all well and good until Bright came by who was there with his younger girlfriend and asked me what the hell did I think I was doing. I explained to Bright in simple way so he would understand that we where kissing. He answered by taking a hasty swing at Ephram. But over his years at County high Ephram had learned the skill of ducking. It through Bright off balance and he went toppling into the nearest punchbowl. Bright quickly stood up and more fighting ensued that left Bright with a black eye and Ephram with a cut up lip and fractured arm. I went to grab Bright before anything else could happen and took him out of there. I thought I was doing Ephram favor but I guess he didn't see it that way. He came out to the parking lot yelling at me for taking Bright away. "Amy you don't need to protect me. I'm a big boy who knows how to protect himself. You're to late to protect me now. You want to guard me from something guard me form you. Because your the only one that has ever truly hurt me". All I could do was stand there as he raced away forgetting his car at the parking lot and running down the sidewalk.
The only time we had talked since then had been at the farewell party. God I missed him so much. Why couldn't I just go back and take everything back that was bad that I had ever said to him. If I had to choose between Colin and Ephram, Ephram would always be the winner. I gave Colin the key to my heart but Ephram had always had it. He knew exactly what to say and with one touch he could make me feel alive again. I need Ephram in my life. I just have to have him there; otherwise there isn't any point on me being alive.
"Amy, Hun its time to leave for Denver". My father yelled upstairs to me. Well I guess only time will tell me if Ephram and I are meant to be. I hurried downstairs. I took one look around my house and hustled out the door. Goodbye Everwood, I'll be back.