Chapter 3 By: SmashingLightbulbs and edited (a lot) By Elfangel
DISCLAIMER: Chapter 1
Crossovers
Some one had to drag Sango and guess whom! InuYasha dragged her along the ground and she was howling about Miroku, even though no one cares about him except for her.
InuYasha: Why do we have to drag Sango along the ground why don't we just let her go, I mean we always do that to you when you want to go down that bitching ass motherrucking hole of yours!
Kagome in monotone voice: I have no recondition of what you are talking about…
Before any one can say anything someone that no one wants to see appears from a mysterious mist… Osama Binladin, Saddam Hussein and SESSOMURU!
Kagome: Lions and tigers and bears…Oh I mean Osamas, and Saddams, and Sessomurus Oh my!! (Leaps into InuYasha's arms, who defiantly drops her)
InuYasha: Ewww, get the cooties off of me!! (Starts wiping himself off with a disgusted look on his face) Kagome stay thirty feet away from me at all times!! I have a restraining order against you!
Kagome sticks her tongue out at him: your so mean how are we going to please the fans, when we don't have romantic moments? (Tears form in her eyes and she begins to cry, as she looks amazingly ugly because of the loads of mascara that she has on, get in her eyes) I, I, I love you InuYasha!!
InuYasha: Kagome! There is no time for this we will kiss and do lovey dovey shit later right now we must kill Osama, Saddam, and Sessomuru or he will kill you and more importantly me!! I mean I could, like, get dirt in my nails or worse break a nail!! (He sets and pulls the Tetsiaga from his sheath) I will kill them, come on simpleton slaves lets go!! (But the evil trio has already knocked out and tied up all the others.)
InuYasha: Crap!! Kagome I will need your pathetic archery skills and mouth to confuse them in your evil ways!! I will under the circumstances have to call upon the most sacred weapon of all!!
Thus, he puts the Tetsiaga back in it's sheath and grabs his most trusted, powerful weapon a WENDEY'S BRAND PLASTIC BUTTER KNIFE! Then Saddam pulled from his blood stained sheath his father's withered and torn arm! InuYasha and he begin (Yugio shouts from a distance drowning out the actual words on this story) IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-DUEL!!!!!!!!
Sessomuru is conveniently sitting in a pub that appeared out of nowhere (sounds familiar doesn't it?) drinking pints of beer and listening to a pair of very drunk hairy footed little children along with a tremendously fat one and a last paranoid child with huge eyes tearing at every moment. (Now that sounds slightly familiar)
Someone in the pub: What's that?
Someone else in the pub: This, my friend is a pint.
Other someone in the pub: You mean it comes in pints, I getting me one! (There is a large crash and a couple of yelling voices is heard. And then a piercing scream)
Sessomuru: Oh dear god, these tiny bastards are the living hell of the world! There're breaking all the mugs and drinking all the beer! God damn it!!
(Meanwhile back at the evil, morbid, nasty, ranch- "coughs" Meanwhile back at the "Battle")
Kagome: No, (in babyish voice) Never Ever!!!
Suddenly she is dressed in a barrel yelling at InuYasha who is currently in a headlock with Saddam, but not for long as InuYasha has just taken Saddam's head off and smashed it back on in a fountain of blood…(Yeah…. Um… Right)
Kagome (starts jumping up and down like a rabid raccoon screaming things inaudible then finally squeaks out): Ewwww! That's nasty InuYasha, why do you always have to do nasty despicable things like that any way?
Mysterious voice with British: I know why…Kagome my dearest loves! (You don't want to know who the other person is… Let's just say that Harry Potter is gay…)
Other mysterious voice with a British accent: What?! Harry we never agreed to that lovey rubbish!! (In fly Ron Weasley and Harry Potter they smash into the wall of the pub with a shower of sparks, but are strangely fine as always and Harry has that stupid gay smile that he always has on with eyes the size of dinner plates.)
Harry: This is the pub that appears out of nowhere all the time for three seconds! (Even though it has been there for more than three seconds)
Ron: Yeah, right Harry, what the hell is that! (He points at InuYasha) and what monstrosity is that! (He point at Osama) At this time InuYasha was trying to count to 3.
InuYasha: 1,6786,7676,7,98,24,26 um… 4,3! What it isn't gone but, that doesn't make any sense! My whole life as I know it is crashing down and crumbling into small pieces! NNNNNNOOOOO!!!!!!! (He falls to the ground crying and twitching like the world is ending abruptly or as if a piece of his hair had fallen out.)
Ron: Right, Harry lets get out of here! (They go into the pub disappearing into the light and a pint of beer flies out and smashes into a million pieces on the ground)
Then InuYasha turned his attention to Osama and then…
InuYasha in a fast Japanese accent: I-will-use-my-powerful-Bayblade-tops-to-kill-you. Fall-before-the-ultimate-evil-of-spinning-little-tops-into-potholes. Each-sold-separately-in-the-packages-you-see.
He then throws out packages of different colored tops to the "audience" and the "camera" created out InuYasha's "intelligent" imagination. He then decides to eat some dirt while Osama runs away with weapons of "mass destruction" a.k.a. are very small round clods of dirt. InuYasha then forgets everything about life as we now it and zones off into his own fantasy world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~THE BESTEST (Best!) COMMERCTIAL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A boy runs in and tugs at his father's sleeve trying to look cute for the camera, but miserably fails as snot trails out of his nose, and he is extremely chubby and fat beyond comprehension.
Little boy: Daddy (sniff) is god black or (sniff) white?
Dad: What kind of fucking question is that it? Anyway god is both so it is fair! Now go fuck yourself! (The little boy runs away to do just that. Strange noises come from the boy's room)
-An hour later-
Little boy: Daddy is god (sniff) a man or a woman cuz (sniff) I heard that he is a (sniff) man but that isn't (sniff) fair!
Dad: Goddamn it! What's with all the crappy fucking questions? Well anyway, god is both, now go play in the highway you bitch!(little boy runs off and a squeal of a car's breaks and much cursing is heard)
-Later that night-
The little boy comes in decapitated and bleeding all over (but is thankfully no longer sniffing): Dad first of all you are correct about god being both man and woman, and both black and white, thus, he is Michael Jackson! Now I have to give you this!
(In a blaze of light he pulls out a glowing and sparkly Michael Jackson Plush! He pulls the string.)
Michael Jackson Plush: I am Michael Jackson, and I am for real! Eat me cuz I'm hot stuff baby!
Little boy: Buy a copy that's much crappier than him! Buy it for AN UNBEILEVIBLE PRICE THAT'S JUST 150 shipments of $139.95 it's all worth it! It has an amazing total of 2 lines, which is actually Michael's entire vocabulary! Call 1-800-I-love-Michael to get this unforgettable plush! Now back to our crap-tacular scheduled program!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END OF THE BESTEST (Best!!!!) COMMERCTIAL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-~ InuYasha's INTELLIGANT THOUGHTS-~(Brought back by popular demand…yeah right you get the point)
I win because, I'm telling, because your it! Hey girl! Up yours! HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY, THAT'S MINE! He grabs the dirt and throws it in the air, he looks up and the dirt falls all over his face, up his nose, down his shirt, in his mouth, and stuck in his all ready clogged ears.
This worm-filled dirt tastes very familiar um, err, um, do'oh, what is it now? Oh, bacon lard cakes…no frum unda cheese no…I got it!! ORANGES with a small tang of yurdal cakes grated on top!!!!!(His mouth begins to water changing the "orange with yurdal cakes on top" flavored dirt into mud) yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk! RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED LUGUS!!!!!!! ORANGES!!!!!!!!
Now let's sing a song! LA Blah Kashaka Me gusta Imposo La me POO! ISHKA POPO JEW KAW WAW! InuYasha starts screaming this out loud insanely, making everyone who hears it becomes very concerned about his health.
Hola, como estas? Muy bien gracias y ustede? No me gusta comer un sandwich. Yo soy muy feo y gordo. (Hello, how are you? Very good, thank you and you? I don't like to eat a sandwich. I am very ugly and fat)
Get out of my house, I told you before! This is my house, don't you know? It's me favorite! Mother everything is your favorite. Mold isn't. Everything that's edible. Cherries aren't. Then why do you eat them? Because they are ME FAVORITE!
-~ End of InuYasha's INTELLIGANT THOUGHTS~-
After eating three thousand hundred pounds of worm filled dirt, InuYasha starts to walk toward Kagome but he stopped short by the Power Rangers!
Power Rangers in fast Japanese accent: we will become one with nothing so we can become nothing! And after that we will morph into one with our grandmother that somehow is all of our grandmothers even though we aren't related at all. This is the power of Mighty Morphin' Rangers! Now you must see our morphing Japanese crap and crappy animation of our monsters and even crappier unreal machines! We shall now unleash our crappy weak animations which are really people in cheesy costumes!!!! Muhahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
InuYasha: Okay? And you're supposed to be …some sort of heroes right, or am I just getting *high*? I mean I just ate dirt, I mean that can make you high right, right!? But then again, you want to get high in case I am not?
Red ranger: Yes we are extremely powerful mighty unbeatable heroes! Bow down before the evil replica of our heroes…Bayblade tops! Watch us twirl and destroy you with our wimpy fake kicks!
Before InuYasha can do anything to the (in sarcastic voice) the great Mighty Moron' Rangers (dun dun dunnn) they start spinning around in big pink fluffy totos and yellow leotards like drunk hoboes until they pass out and kill themselves in a smelly pool of their own peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich vomit.
After the power rangers beat themselves up, InuYasha once again tries to get to Kagome who is now sleeping in her (very, very) small barrel, which was supposed to be used to put 30 (Because 10 is way to small) pickles in. But somehow Kagome managed to fit herself in it for no apparent reason.
Kagome wakes up in the bushes: InuYasha all you do is sit around all the time! You never help protect any of us and I always have to do it! I 'm getting tired of defeating all these demons with the Tetsiaga! You always just sit there and shoot little Barbies with your boy. I never get to relax around here even though I have thousands of hours with nothing to do! You are so lazy carrying me around all day; I've gotten really fat! You need to walk of all this fat FOR ME, you lazy BBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! SIT!!!!!
InuYasha after getting up from the ground: What the HELL are you talking about! I'm the one who ALWAYS has to protect you people and do all this work for you all! YOURE THE ONE WHO IS WHORTHLESS!!! I DO EVERYTHING! (Sure) Now, excuse me for I will now shoot crap from my lard like ass for I am so powerful!
Before InuYasha can get to Kagome, a small round, red, and white ball hits him. InuYasha screams as he is turned into red light and sucked inside the ball. He immediately gets out of the ball mad as a killer bee sprayed with poison.
InuYasha: WHY THE HELL DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!!! I AM TIRED OF BEING ABUSED!!
InuYasha starts to cry and he runs off into the ground only to return when his name is called three times. Then someone in the shadows appears, even though it is still shrouded by shadows.
Someone in the shadows for an mysterious affect that he (obvious) isn't getting: Why is there a dog underneath me porch!? Where is the dog?! Where's the porch!? (In retarded voice that's all dried out) hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Me couldn't catch the ultra rare allusive InuYasha! So me am going to laugh like a retarded geek who sucks like and eats and may I add smells like crap!(his bottom lip becomes lazy and drops exposing black gums and a few misplaced ugly cavity filled teeth)
Kagome: What the hell is that? Is it some sort of hideous worm or snake, wait what am I talking about? Help InuYasha! (She falls over totally drunk and wasted as though she's been drinking for countless hours)
(Ashes in Ketchup (a.k.a. Ash Ketchum) walks into the light, he is immensely fat and has a lazy eye and the biggest ass you've ever seen (We'll let you imagine how big it is) and is wearing tight black leather clothes that are WAY too small. (Ewww…unwanted imagery) His tremendous gut spills out and overlaps the belt line and it is unbelievably hairy (okay that is just plain nasty)
Ash: Now me will try to sappily befriend InuYasha so he will join me force and be me slave like all me other poke'mans!
Well that doesn't work as InuYasha appears and starts running around screaming: Help I need somebody! Help not just anybody! Help I need the Powerpuff girls! (he squeals and jumps on a chair that appears out of nowhere(sound familiar doesn't it) and hops up and down and on top of it all pulls up a imaginary dress) STRONG VERNEL FEMAMINE ITCHES! (Right)
Out of no where a stupid song arises: Blossom the slayer and the rapier. Bubbles the weakling and the gaywad. Buttercup she's the evil morbid. Powerduffs save the day! Helping crime trying to save the world! Fighting crime as the forces of evil! Here they come late as ever the Powerduff girls!
Out of the blue come the Powerduff girls. G.I.Goe is always there!!!! (Personally I've found some things about them that I must rant about. Okay, first HOW do they pick any thing up with those blobs for arms, and WHY are their friekin' eyes so huge they look like their flies or something. And those people who draw them CAN NOT DRAW! I mean, The Powerpuff girls are made out of circles! And have you ever noticed that all of the crowds are huge purple blobs, or in the background their HIDEOUS!!!)
They all poke Ashes in the eyes and then are struck by lightening.
Kagome: Thanks Zeus!!
Zeus: Your welcome!
And for those who want to know, Sango and Shippou have been forgotten and are still tied to a tree next to the pub that appeared out of nowhere, which InuYasha has joined. He is screaming and acting like a moron even though he acts like one anyway.
Sessomuru runs out of the pub and falls on the ground puking, making his face all dirty. He gets up and stumbles around falling towards Sango and Shippou. He falls over onto the ropes and burps, spreading the smell of beer all over the two.
Harry Potter and Ron: Haha Thanks for the beer, CHUMP!
Harry and Ron: Haha. Thanks for the poisonous beer that we aren't supposed to be drinking. We'll die and suffer later a probably not live through he night. You're sucha pal. CHUMP!
Sessomuru: Yeee-e-eee!!!! Yeah that's right you owe me for all that beer you bought me, Because I bought it!
He then pukes some more on the ground spreading the smell everywhere…He walks over to Sango and Shippou and grabs the rope and starts yelling at it.
Sessomuru: You shut up! You shut your goddamn mouth! You better shut up! I kill you! I kill you all!
He then cuts the rope because it won't "shut up". And then he falls over onto the ground fast asleep.
Sango and Shippou: Hurrah!! We aren't tied up and being ignored like Kagome is right now.
Kagome: Hey! I'm not being ignored I was just sleeping in this very comfortable barrel that is now making huge cuts around my waist!
After hearing Sessomuru wakes up: You all are weak! Look at InuYasha! He's getting drunk! I on the other hand I am completely sober! So guess what? I'm gonna go with you! InuYasha can suck my balls!
So now Sessomuru has joined the group. Who knows what InuYasha's going to do? This is going to be a long day…(if you know what I mean)
