The Moon To The Tide

The Hardest Thing ... Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy are not mine, sadly. They belong to the people at Fox, the WB, UPN and of course the Evil Tyrant of all things Buffy, Joss Whedon.

Description: Willow/Tara, Willow/Oz FRIENDSHIP and Dawn/Sarah.

Spoilers: The entire season six. BSD fully revealed. Set after the Tara Trials (if you missed them, they basically tell how Tara came back to life).

Rated: PG-13, Bordering on R

*************************************************************

"Well, what do you think?" Dawn asked.

"You look stunning," Sarah said, completely sincere.

The girls were trying on dresses at Express. The gown that had caught Dawn's eye was floor length and made of blue satin.

"Really?"

"Really," Sarah affirmed. She gave Dawn a little peck on the lips.

Dawn grinned. "I like it too. But were you going to go with the pink one?"

"I don't know, maybe. It might be a little too fluffy though. However Reese Witherspoon was right. Pink is a blonde's best color."

Dawn considered the situation at hand. "Then I don't know about this one. I mean blue and pink just seem so boy-girl. And why do I have to be the butch one?"

Sarah laughed. "You are soooo not butch Dawn. Anyone who spends an hour on their make up-"

"I get the point," Dawn grumbled.

"And God knows how long on their hair-"

"Shut up!" Dawn protested, laughing herself. She silenced Sarah's lips with another kiss. This one lasted a little longer.

"What if I go with the purple and you get that one in silver? There are no preconceived gender biases attached to those colors, right?" Sarah suggested.

"Ok. I am going to be so broke after this."

"You'll be broke, but at least you'll look all pretty," Sarah pointed out.

"Yeah. If I hadn't had to pay back all the stuff I swiped last year, it wouldn't be an issue."

"Why did you steal it?"

Dawn shrugged. "Don't know. Was bored I guess. And I was sort of hoping that Buffy might notice. She was so distracted with-" Dawn's voice trailed off.

"What? Slaying?"

"Sure." Dawn knew full well that that had not been what was distracting Buffy. "Anyway, I stopped doing it. I'm clean. No more life of crime for me."

"Well good!"

Dawn was fiddling with her zipper. It was stuck.

"Here, let me get that," Sarah offered. She fiddled with the pesky thing until she got it unjammed. As she slid the zipper down, it occurred to both of them that they were getting fairly naked in front of each other. With an innocent cause of course, but that still didn't change the fact ...

Sarah laid a tentative kiss on Dawn's neck. She in turn responded by turning around and kissing Sarah passionately. Sarah wrapped her arms around Dawn's neck, pulling her closer. Dawn helped Sarah out of her dress as well. The intensity between them growing, Dawn even dared to unhook Sarah's bra and start kissing her breast.

Sarah's mind was going a million miles an hour. Oh my God, she thought. What are we ... are we going to? Here? Oh my God.

There was a knock on the dressing room door. "How are you doing in there?" the salesgirl asked, completely unaware of the proceedings she was interrupting.

"Um, fine," Sarah answered, trying very hard not to laugh.

"Do you need any other sizes?" the salesgirl offered.

"No!" they both answered back.

"Ok, just let me know if you need anything." The salesgirl left, provoking a storm of giggles from the two girls.

Dawn refastened Sarah's bra. "Perhaps we should continue this later somewhere a little less..."

"Public?" Sarah finished.

"Yeah."

They rung up their purchases and headed towards the exit.

"Wait!" Dawn told her as they passed Claire's. "I'll be back in a minute." She emerged a few minutes later with a little box, which she presented to Sarah.

"Aw, you didn't have to. Besides I thought you were broke."

"I am. Now. Go on, open it."

Sarah followed instructions. It was a little silver cross necklace.

"It's actually more of a safety precaution than anything else," Dawn explained, "sort of like Sunnydale mace."

Sarah was truly touched. "It's beautiful." She put it on. "I love it."

The gift earned Dawn another kiss.

A few passerbys gave them dirty looks.

"C'mon it's 2002!" Dawn hollered at them. "Stupid homophobes," she muttered.

Sarah felt increasingly uncomfortable. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

"How was shopping?" Buffy asked as they walked in the door. She noticed they were carrying bags. "Oooh, let's see what you got."

They pulled out their purchases. Buffy approved. "Very nice. And you have receipts for everything?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Paid in full. Do you want to see them?"

"No, I trust you."

"Right," Dawn said.

"So, what are you two-"

"We're going to go work on this thing called homework. Up in my room. With the door open," she told her sister.

"Oh. Ok. Have fun."

The girls headed up the stairs to do just that.

"That was kind of harsh," Sarah said.

"I'm just tired of her acting like I'm some ticking time bomb. Like I'm going to get in trouble any minute. What, you're not taking her side, are you?"

"No." Sarah had many reasons to feel motivated to support Dawn's side. "It just seems like maybe you ought to give *her* a chance, y'know, to give *you* a chance."

"You haven't forgotten that she totally wigged about the two of us being together, right?"

"No, it's just-"

"Let's drop it ok? She's my problem. Besides-" Dawn cringed. "Algebra calls."

* * *

Buffy thought she might be going a little crazy, because everywhere she went, she kept thinking she glimpsed a flash of platinum. It was ridiculous though. Spike was gone, he was probably never going to come back. Even if he did come back, he would know better than to mess with her. Not to mention, why was she thinking about Spike anyway? It was a waste of valuable Buffy brain cells. It was not like she still cared about him at all anymore. Much. Well maybe a little.

Buffy staked a vampire. Why was he haunting her so? Hadn't he done enough damage? Why did he have such power over her? She finished off the other one. The second vamp exploded in a cloud of dust.

Tired and sweaty, Buffy headed home. As always, as soon as she walked in the door, her first stop was the fridge. She was in the process of making herself a manly sized ham sandwich when Sarah walked in.

"Oh, hi!" Sarah said. "I didn't know you were here."

"Just got back," Buffy informed her. She gestured to her selection of pre-sliced meats. "Want a sandwich or anything?"

Sarah shook her head. "I was just getting a soda. For Dawn. We've been studying. Purely academic. With the door open."

Buffy had to smile at how nervous her sister's little friend was being. "It's ok. I hope you're looking for sprite, cuz this is the last diet coke, and I am drinking it." Buffy popped open the can and took a sip.

"Yeah, that's fine." Sarah grabbed one and began to head towards Dawn's room when a second thought struck her. "I know it doesn't always seem like it, but she doesn't mean to be difficult. She loves you a lot. I think she's just afraid of losing you again, though she would never ever admit it." Sarah gave her a shy smile.

Buffy was touched. "Thanks for letting me know."

Sarah knew she should leave it at that, but her nerves had frozen her in place and temporarily deactivated the shutoff switch to her mouth. "I know it's gotta be hard for you and all. You didn't ask to be her mother. You didn't ask to be the slayer either. And dying and all, I can't imagine what that was like. So I wanted to let you know that you're doing a great job. You probably hear that a lot, but I thought I'd tell you that anyway."

Buffy was touched. "No, I actually don't hear that so much. Thank you."

"Well I'll let you get back to the food!" Sarah tried to pry herself away, lest she ramble on and on incessantly.

"Wait a minute. It's late, I'll walk you home."

"Oh, ok. Uh, I'll go say goodnight to Dawn." She took two steps before she realized she had forgotten something. "Oh yeah, the soda." She ran up the stairs.

Buffy found herself actually liking Sarah. True, she may have just been doing some serious brown-nosing to butter up her honey's big sister, but Buffy somehow didn't think so. There was sincerity behind those green eyes. And she noticed things, little things that Buffy's own friends hadn't even picked up on. Maybe her and Dawn dating wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Dawn came down with Sarah, pausing to kiss her at the foot at the stairs. Buffy frowned, as a good portion of her fears returned. Their was an intensity between them, much like passion she had shared with Angel, just before ... The two of them were getting in way over their heads. She hoped to God or Goddess as the case may be, that neither of them was going to wind up hurt, although she doubted she could do anything to prevent it.

"See you at school tomorrow," Dawn told Sarah in a love-struck tone.

"C'mon, let's go," Buffy told the other blond, extremely ill at ease.

* * *

"So, what did you think of the class?" Willow asked, dumping her highly overpriced selection of schoolbooks on the bed.

"Um, it was long? I'm just not sure if I want to be auditing classes right now," Tara told her.

"Well, you're probably just frustrated. You've got a lot of catching up to do," Willow pointed out.

"Yeah, dying right before finals was probably a bad idea."

Willow gripped Tara's hand so tight it almost hurt. The smallest mention of Tara's death always gave her a panic attack.

"Sorry honey. It's just ... there should be certain exceptions made. Like that movie, Dead Man on Campus, where if your roommate died you got straight A's."

"Yeah, but that was a movie, and a lame one at that. Who decided MTV should make movies anyway? Yeck!"

"There are other complications," Tara went on, "like how to re-enroll. Do I just tell them there was a mistake and I was in a coma for a few months? Besides, I think that maybe there are things I'd prefer to do with my time."

"Like what?" Willow wanted to know.

"Like teach."

"Uh, hello?" Willow raised her hand. "Credentials needed."

"I meant magic. Things are going great with Sarah. You should see her. She's picking up everything so fast. And I'm not going to learn anything about Wicca at UC Sunnydale, that's for sure." Tara was so excited about her newfound vocation that she took her a while to realize how uncomfortable Willow had become. "Wait, what's wrong? Oh Goddess, it's the magic-"

"I'm the one with the problem," Willow told her, slightly defensive. "Me. Capital M, capital E! You shouldn't deprive yourself on my account."

"Look if it bothers you I can stop. I asked you to, it's only fair that I offer to do the same. Forget it, back to plan A. Maybe you're right. I mean teaching credentials - I could teach kindergarten or something," Tara suggested

"No, it's important to you. And Sarah needs instruction. After all, we don't want anything accidentally going boom, do we?"

"No we don't want that." Tara smiled. "She's doing wonderfully. I'll turn her into a great witch yet, just you wait and see."

"I'm sure you will."

Tara frowned. "Why so moody? Are you sure it isn't the magic?"

"No, not really. It's just -" Willow took a deep breath. "You really like kids don't you?"

"Of course. Thought Dawnie and Sarah hardly qualify as kids anymore. Young ladies is more like it." She sighed. "They're growing up so fast."

"I mean, you're almost like a mother to them - forget it, it's stupid." Willow rushed out of the room.

Tara followed to find Willow leaning against the wall, holding back tears.

"What's troubling you? What's the matter?" Tara applied a light pressure to Willow's tummy, rubbing it in a way she knew always soothed her lover.

"Tara, does it ever make you sad that we can't, you know, have kids of out own?" Willow asked her sadly.

Sensing her insecurity, Tara did everything in her power to soothe Willow's fears away. "Honey, what we have - I wouldn't give it up or trade it for ANYTHING."

Willow was unconvinced. "That's not what I asked."

Tara leaned her forehead against the beautiful red-head's. "Yes, I would one day like kids. But there are more important things. How long have you been worrying about this?"

"Not long. Just since, well, a few years. I know we're still all young and all, but when I see you with the girls-"

"You get ideas."

"And I sort of think that, y'know, we'll never have that. And it's something I want for the two of us some day."

"Well," Tara offered hesitantly, "there are ways..."

"We could always ask Xander," Willow said, a slight smirk chasing away the gloom that plagued her.

Tara made a face. "He's a great guy, don't get me wrong, but I'm not so sure I'd want little Xanders running around. I suppose Giles. I mean, he's a little more ... sophisticated. Not to mention book smart."

"Might be weird for him to be having kids at his age. Hmmm... and Angel's a vampire. Our assortment of male friends would appear to be quite limited."

"There's always Oz," Tara told her, her voice quiet.

Willow froze in her tracks. "Oz? Um, no. Not going to go there. That would be waaay too bizarre and weird. Besides, I haven't even spoken to him since the day we got together."

Tara gathered her strength. "Maybe it's time you did. Not about a baby, that's all hypothetical anyway." She gently stroked Willow's hair. "But you're healing your past right now Will, the good parts, the bad parts and all the parts that fall in-between."

"He didn't exactly leave a forwarding address," Willow pointed out.

"But you have a connection, right?"

"Not like we have," Willow assured her.

"So he should know if you need him."

"Even if he did know, I doubt he'd come here. He probably hates me because of, well, us. He couldn't even look at me ..."

"I doubt he hates you." Tara found it hard to believe that anyone could hate her red-headed angel. Well except for maybe Warren... "He was just sad and upset. How could he not be over losing you? No one else could ever compare with my Willow."

Deeply moved, Willow kissed Tara, who pulled her in for a huge hug. Passion quickly mounted between them. Tara's kisses strayed from Willow's lips to her forehead and then traveled back to her delicious lips again. Her hands slipped under Willow's shirt, to unhook her bra swiftly and deftly. Willow lowered her self to Tara's slightly exposed tummy knowing full well it was her most ticklish spot. She kissed it, causing Tara to giggle and moan at the same time. She again, returned to Tara's lips, her favorite part on Tara. Well, one of her favorite parts. They were just reaching the critical "need to get behind closed doors" portion of their foreplay when Sarah stumbled across them.

She had come in the front door, which always seemed to be unlocked, without knocking. Never in he wildest dreams had she expected to stumble across the two of them so cozy. "I am so sorry!"

They pulled apart and Tara gave Willow a look that said the fun was not over, just merely delayed.

"It's ok. We're sorry," Tara apologized. "The hallway isn't exactly labeled lovers' lane. Have you come by for training or to see Dawn?"

Willow, not yet discouraged, still held fast to Tara. She shifted so that she was hugging her from behind, wrapping her arms around Tara's cute little stomach, giving it a brief tickle. She nuzzled her cheek against her lover's.

Sarah knew it was impolite to stare, so she attempted not to. "Well I had sorta come for both, but if you two want to be alone..."

Tara had to fight to keep in control, as Willow laid a small kiss on her neck.

"Great, why don't you and Dawnie have fun, and then you can come by for your training in a little while?"

Willow was offended. "A little while?"

"Um, later this evening?" Tara corrected.

Willow grinned seductively. "That sounds more like it." She gave Tara's ear a quick nibble.

Tara could hold out no longer. "Ok bye!"

Willow grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into the bedroom. Sarah caught a glimpse of them kissing and Tara beginning to lift off Willow's shirt as the blond witch kicked the door shut.

Sarah headed to Dawn's room.

"Hey," Dawn said, giving her a peck on the lips. "Are you ok? You look all flushed."

"I sort of , um, walked into the middle of Willow and Tara-"

"Oh. I probably should have warned you that they're pretty big with the PDA's. But trust me, it's much better than the alternative, no DA's. When they broke up - well let's just say that I have never seen two more miserable people which is saying a lot since this town is pretty much angst central."

Sarah was curious. "Why'd they break up?"

"Willow got sort of hooked on magic. It was this thing. It doesn't matter. Willow's better. They're better."

"I'm glad. It's kind of nice. Not that I'm looking for a free show or anything, but to see two girls in love. Well, it's not like you really see that a lot at school or on TV ..."

"How about after school hours?" Dawn offered, her intentions anything but pure.

"What about Buffy?" Sarah asked, concerned.

"Working at the Doublemeat. We've got some time. And Willow and Tara should be preoccupied. That is unless you don't want to?"

"No, I do ... we're talking about kissing, right?" Sarah got that butterfly-ie feeling in her belly again.

"No silly, we're talking about homework. Of course we're talking about kissing! Come to think about it, why are we talking?" Dawn pulled Sarah in for a snog. Sarah tried Tara's trick of kicking the door shut, but only succeeded in stubbing her toe.

"Ow," she said, breaking into laughing.

"Let me get that," Dawn offered, shutting it, and leading her to the bed for future smoochage.

* * *

"I need you to concentrate," Tara instructed.

Sarah furrowed her brow. "I'm trying."

Tara had taken Willow's cue and started with floating small objects. However, she felt that starting with a pencil was a good way for someone to loose an eye, so she had decided to go with a safer, softer eraser. Sarah was doing well for a beginner. The eraser was indeed floating, l but it was wobbling quite a bit.

"Look, we can take a break if you'd like..."

"No," Sarah said. "I'm good. I can do this, really I can. I just need to' feel the force Luke' or whatever."

"It took Willow a long time to perfect this too."

"It's so much easier when I was wigging out. I mean when that vampire tried to hurt Dawn..." Sarah's words were halted as she ducked to avoid the eraser that shot towards her. It bounced back and forth between the walls of the training room like a game of Pong set on turbo speed. Tara dove to the floor, and Sarah followed suit. Finally it slowed to a halt and dropped to the ground.

Tara and Sarah got to their feet. "And that would be why we don't want our emotions controlling our magic. It can make our spells stronger true, but it also makes them unpredictable," Tara explained.

"So I see."

"Never go for the easy way out of a situation. Never use magic when there's a way to do something with out it. A good witch has to earns her influence over the elements."

"For fear leads to anger, and anger leads to the dark side," Sarah concluded.

"Listen to the muppet," Tara had to agreed. "Sometimes crossing a line can help a situation, but if you cross that line too many times, it disappears altogether."

"Is that when you get addicted to dark magic?"

Tara grew uncomfortable. "It's different for everyone. Willow went through a lot. It was very hard for her. It still is."

"But what you two have is more important." Sarah smiled. "I'm glad you two are together. I can't imagine you apart."

"It was hard. Very hard. But when you love someone, you sometimes have to be hard on them to help them."

"Yeah, I know," Sarah told her, considering a few things.

"What's with all the serious talk?"

"I'm sorry if I was prying, I was just ... wondering about a few things."

"That's ok, you can ask me anything. I want you to know that," Tara said.

Sarah got up the nerve to ask Tara one of the questions that had been bouncing around in her head. "So, how did you come out?"

"My mother never knew. She died before I got the chance to tell her. The rest of my family ... well let's say we were never that close before, and my being gay didn't help matters."

"Oh." That wasn't the cheery, all accepting and all open story Sarah had been hoping for.

"But my friends were wonderful about it. I mean Buffy and the others, it took time, but they let me into their little circle. Why, are you thinking of coming out?"

"I am. It's just that my parents -- I don't want them to hate me. I don't want anyone to. But I don't like lying about it either."

"Well, maybe you should wait." Sarah looked up at her with surprised eyes. "I know that sounds horrible, but I know a lot of people who waited until they could support themselves financially."

"No way am I gonna be able to keep it a secret that long!"

"Well, if you decide to tell them and things go badly, at worse case scenario you could always stay here."

"Yeah," she snorted. "Buffy would LOVE that."

"It doesn't matter. No matter what happens with Dawn, no matter what happens with Buffy, you are always welcome in my home, ok?"

Sarah felt a good deal better. "Ok."

"I also was wondering about ..."

"Yes."

"Well, um, about ..."

"What?"

"Um..."

Tara caught on to the nature of the subject matter. "Oh, I see. Are you and Dawn?"

"No. Not yet. But we've been getting close. Real close. And I think we're going to. And I don't really know ... I mean they sort of glossed over the lesbian chapter in Sex Ed."

"Don't I know it." Tara thought back to her first, fumbling experience with a girl. "What would you like to know?"

"Well, um, what exactly do you do when you're with , um, a girl?"

"Have a seat. I think the magic portion of your education for the day is over."

* * *

Willow was perousing through the used CD's at Second Spin. She had been hoping to find Michelle Branch's Album dirt cheap. It wasn't there, and although her search turned up a tempting copy of Songs in the Key of Springfield, Willow decided to pass, deciding her money might better be spent on mochas with Tara.

"Hey, didn't you used to be in Dingo's Ate My Baby?" The clerk asked behind her.

Willow froze.

"Yeah," a familiar voice answered. "But that was a long time ago."

"What ever happened to you guys?" The clerk wanted to know.

"Well we sort of broke up on account that we sucked."

Willow's heart skipped a beat. "Oz."

Oz spotted her for the first time. He stared at her in a daze, like he was seeing a ghost. "Willow."

"That sucks, you know I think we still have a demo somewhere in the ba- Hey dude, you listening to me?"

"No," he answered.

Willow went over to him. "How long ... I mean when did you ... How are th..." she searched for a conversation opener. "So can I hug you, or are you going to go all wolfy?"

"No, a hug would be good. I'll give you my no wolf guarantee."

Willow wrapped her arms around him and gave him a squeeze. He hugged her back.

"Did you know I was just thinking about you?"

"There's not a day that goes by when I don't think of you," he responded. Willow didn't know what to make of that. Oz rarely used that many words in a sentence.

"It's really good to see you. We should talk."

" When?"

"Well how about tonight? You could stop by and we could grab dinner or something. No burgers though." Buffy's plentiful free food from work had made Willow unable to eat any meat flavored substance shaped into patties ever again."

"Right, it's a date."

Willow flinched a little at the word. Oz picked up on it.

"So how is ...?" Oz had never caught her girlfriend's name.

"Tara. She's great. She's a goddess," Willow said truthfully.

"I'm glad. I wasn't sure if you would want to see me."

"Of course I did. Of course I wanted to see you. You're a huge part of my life Oz. My being gay doesn't take that all away or nullify it."

"I'm glad. So when should I pick you up?"

"Tonight at 8:00. Buffy's place. Well, I live there now."

Oz raised an eyebrow.

"Purely in a platonic way," she clarified.

"8:00 it is."

* * *

"Hey Dawnie, what's up?" Willow asked.

"The price of gas," Dawnie answered, staring blankly at the television screen.

"Where's Tara?"

"Upstairs in your guys's room. Oh, but I wouldn't barge in right now," she warned as she saw Willow edge in that direction. "She's teaching Sarah about glamours today. The one time I interrupted a spell, Giles turned a wall blue, so unless you want our girlfriends coming out looking like smurfs..."

"Gotcha, drift caught." Willow began pacing back and forth, her nerves all a jitter.

"Are you ok?" Dawn couldn't help picking up on the red-head's impatience.

"Yeah, fine," Willow told her, lying through her teeth. "Don't you have homework to do?"

"I'm waiting for Sarah. We always study together. There's something about a cute blond that always makes me feel oddly motivated, you know?"

"I don't suppose you'd want to get a head start on it?"

"Not really." Dawn gestured to the television, where Scooby Doo was playing. "Talking dog."

"Great. I'm gonna go chop some vegetables."

"Why, are you cooking something?"

"No," Willow answered. "I just feel like cutting something to pieces."

* * *

Tara and Sarah emerged from the room a couple of hours later.

"I don't know why people use hair dye," Sarah said. "I mean magic is less damaging, not to mention fade resistant."

"I don't know," Tara teased. "It could have something to do with the whole nosebleeds and headaches caused by the need to sustain a spell for extended amounts of time."

"How'd it go?" Dawn asked.

"Very neat. My hair was red for a little bit there," Sarah shared.

"She looked good," Tara said. "Then again, I've always been fond of red-heads."

"Speaking of which, there's a red-head you're particularly fond of who has been waiting to see you. She's in the kitchen."

Tara went to find her girlfriend. Willow was stir frying veggies in a big pan. Buffy's kitchen had yet to include a wok. Tara cautiously eyed the proceedings. Still yet to be cooked were mounds of freshly sliced zucchini, peppers and broccoli.

"Feeding an army?" she asked. "Or is Xander bringing a bunch of his construction buddies over again?"

"That's pretty much the same thing, but no on both counts." Willow turned off the stove and abandoned her impression of Emmeril to tightly embrace her lover.

"Are you ok?" Tara asked. "You're shaking."

"I really need to talk to you. I did something stupid. Well, maybe stupid. I don't know."

Tara's mind jumped immediately to dark magic. "Did you ... a spell? Is everyone alright?"

"No, everyone is fine. No spells. It's just that I invited someone over."

"Are they a giant?" Tara asked, still not sure what a house guest had to do with the vegetarian cuisine.

"No, someone else. I'm not sure how to say this, and please don't be mad-"

The door bell rang.

"Oh God, that's him!"

"I got it!" Dawn yelled.

She answered the door. The last person in the world that she would have expected was standing outside. "Oz?"

"Hey. Um, I'm not sure I have the right address. Does Willow Rosenburg live here?" he asked.

"Yeah." Dawn couldn't understand why he was staring at her so strangely. "Oz, it's me Dawn."

"Dawn?"

"You know, Buffy's sister."

Oz was puzzled. "Buffy is an only child."

Dawn caught on. "The monks must not have put the memories in your head, seeing how you were out of the country and all. I was this mythical key sort of thing, but now I'm just a normal, human sister. Sort of."

"Oh. Nice to meet you."

"Come on in, I'm sure Willow will want to see you."

Meanwhile in the kitchen:

"I'm not sure I want to see him," Tara said. "You should, you totally should. But me? I mean, he's nice and all, but he did try to eat me and I think it might just be better, easier, if I disappeared while he was over."

"That's not true. You should meet. And I mean in a non-growly, non-furry sort of way."

"Good thing I shaved my legs today," Tara joked.

"I'm serious!"

"I'm serious too Will. Things are going to be uncomfortable as it is, without me making them more uncomfortable."

Willow took Tara's hand in her own. "I'm not going to pretend that you don't exist. You're important to me, the most important thing in my life. And it took me long enough to admit we were 'we.' I'm not going to start hiding you again now."

"Ok sweetie. Point made, guilt felt."

"Reward?" Willow was making puppy eyes at her.

Tara placed a kiss on Willow's lips.

"Hey Will," Oz said, making his entrance just as the girls' lips were parting. He hesitated before addressing the other. "Hello Tara."

"Hi," Tara said, moving in a little closer to Will. "I can go if you want."

"No," Willow told her, squeezing her hand.

Oz was taking slow, deep, calculated breaths. "It's fine. Are we eating here?" he asked, eyeing the plentiful veggies.

"No," Willow corrected. "I just sometimes like to take out my aggression on innocent plant life. I was thinking Italian food?"

"Sounds good. Do you want to come along?" Oz asked Tara cautiously.

"Nah," Tara feigned casualness. "You two need to catch up, and me, well I don't really have anything for either of you to catch up on. But it was good to see you Oz." She extended her hand.

Oz shook it. Thankfully, no wolf appeared. "Take care."

"Thank you," Willow told both of them. "We should, um, head out." Oz and Willow took off to grab some grub.

"Right. I'll just ... have some stir fry." Tara said. "Dawn, Sarah. You're eating healthy tonight!"

* * *

"You still haven't told me what brought you into town. Unless it's private?" Willow asked.

"Devon. He was thinking of switching to country music. That'sort of thing has to be dealt with in person."

"And here I just thought you missed the calm, soothing effects of Sunnydale living."

"Along with the record high mortality rate."

Willow laughed. "So, are you planning on seeing Xander or the others?"

"Not really. I did run into Spike though. Guy's got issues."

"Spike! Spike's back in town?!"

"I would assume so if I ran into him. But I'm guessing you didn't bring me here to discuss mutual acquaintances. How are you doing Willow, really?" Oz asked. He could always see right through her walls and defenses.

"Horrible, pretty much. I did some really terrible, terrible, unforgivable things."

"How bad?"

"Trying to end the world bad. I-I," she gulped, "I killed people Oz. Human, non-demony people."

Oz took it all in stride. "Why?"

"This evil guy Warren, he killed Tara and he tried to kill Buffy. And I just lost it. I went crazy. I did all this dark magic, hunted him down and killed him."

"It's understandable will. He murdered someone you loved. By the way, how did-"

"She got elevated to Goddess status and came back to me. It was this whole big thing. Long story."

"Oh."

"But the thing is, I'd started dipping into the dark arts before that. Getting in over my head. I only quit magic because it was pushing away the people I loved."

"That must have been rough."

"It was. Extremely rough. Rougher than it should have been. Oz, I'm scared. Scared of who I am. What I could become. What I might already be. I keep telling myself I'm a good guy. I'm a Scooby. But inside I just feel - it's like any little thing could set me off, and then I would be evil for good."

"Willow," Oz took her hand in his. "Listen to me. You are not evil. You are the least evil person I know."

Willow was tearing up. "Thank you. But you weren't here the last few years. You couldn't possibly imagine-"

"In Tibet, I had a ritualistic cleansing to purge the wolf. It made things clearer. Better. It might help you."

"I think I've already purged my inner dog, thank you very much," she asserted. "Except for sometimes around that time of the month ..."

"It works for other things too. Demons, possessions, the dark arts. It changed my life, Willow."

"That sounds," Willow searched for the right word, "neat. But I couldn't possibly. It's not like tickets to Tibet are just going to fall into my lap."

* * *

"How did it go with O-oz?" Tara asked. Since her rebirth Tara hardly ever stuttered. Willow picked up on it.

"He thinks I should go to Tibet with him, for some sort of spiritualistic cleansing thingy. He has an extra ticket. Frequent flyer miles. He thinks it might get rid of the dark magic in me."

"Really? He said that?"

"But I told him no," Willow added quickly.

"Why?"

Willow was baffled. "Because it's *Tibet* and it'd mean dropping out of school and what kind of example is that going to send to Dawn? I'm the only positive scholastic role model she has left! Besides, would you really trust me all alone in another country with my ex-boyfriend?"

Tara placed her hands on her hips and gave her lover a stern look. "Do I have a reason not to?"

"No. Of course not. It's just, being so far away from you..."

"Willow." Tara softened. "I've read about these rituals. They work." She hated to admit it, but it was true. "This might be just the thing you need to move on, forget your past mistakes and stop having those nightmares."

Willow was indignant. "I haven't been having-"

"You talk in your sleep honey."

"Couldn't you do the ritual? Here in Sunnydale?"

Tara took a deep breath. "It takes a someone of great power."

"Hello, *Goddess*," Willow pointed out.

"And they can't have been near you when you were under the influence of dark magic. They have to be pure of that, or else you could remain tainted."

"Oh. Do you think I should do it?" Willow said.

"I think it could help you, but it's not my decision to make. No one can choose your path for you Will. You have to do that for yourself."

"It really wouldn't bother you, me with Oz?"

"Not at all." Tara assured her. "You're my girl. I know that."

"I'll think it over," Willow told her. "I do want to get better. It's just ... Tibet?!"

* * *

Buffy ended an all night struggle with a fungus demon by grasping it firmly by the head and twisting until she heard the tell-tale snap. It collapsed to the ground.

"Great." The battle had not left her unscathed. Buffy looked over her torn and damaged clothing. They were streaked with demon slime. She knew now *why* it was called a fungus demon. "That's ok, I'm sure this will be out of fashion soon. In a month."

Stupid demon! Buffy thought. She had an afternoon shift at the doublemeat that day and had been hoping to get some sleep. However, mucus demons could run. Fast. And this one had led her on a wild goose chase all over Sunnydale.

She headed home. Perhaps she could squeeze in a few hours of sleep before her eight hours of torture, I mean work. Nah, torture was close enough. And she had actually been through torture in her day. She really needed to find a new job.

Thoughts of employment opportunities left her head as she spotted who awaited her return home. On her porch waited an old friend. No friend wasn't the right word. Foe wasn't either. Buffy froze, the panic rising inside her. She didn't have the patience to deal with this now! She spoke to the blond vampire, "Spike."

TBC.......................