Decisions
The Hardest Thing ... Chapter 7
Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy are not mine, sadly. They belong to the people at Fox, the WB, UPN and of course the Evil Tyrant of all things Buffy, Joss Whedon.
Dedication: For all those who wish for a happier, lovey-dovier season seven of Buffy.
Apologies: To those who violently dislike Spike. He gets a lot of screen time here. But there are plenty of Dawn/Sarah moments and promises of Willow/Tara moments to come. You can just skip to the "good stuff" if you want. I won't take it personally. Much.
Description: Willow/Tara, Willow/Oz FRIENDSHIP, Dawn/Sarah and Buffy/Spike tolerance at this point. Then again you all know I'm a huge B/S shipper. I guess you'll have to wait and see.
Spoilers: The entire season six. BSD fully revealed. Set after the Tara Trials (if you missed them, they basically tell how Tara came back to life).
Rated: PG-13
*************************************************************
Buffy looked upon the platinum vampire with extreme distaste. She did not have the time or the patience for that sort of bullshit. She cautiously approached Spike. "You shouldn't have come back."
His eyes fell to the dirt, scared and ashamed to meet her glare. "I know, I just..."
"Are an evil obsessive psycho? Yes you are. God, I can't believe I let you get away with it for so long! What was I thinking? Oh yeah, I wasn't."
"Please..."
"No, no please this or please that! I'm not in the mood to chat right not. It is over. You are no longer a part of my life. Go the Hell away Spike, and DO NOT COME BACK."
Spike smiled weakly. "As my lady wishes." His voice was shook, as if it took great effort to speak. He turned to leave.
The thought that something was wrong nagged at the back of her mind, though she couldn't for the life of her place it. Then Buffy noticed for the first time the sun rising in the distance. A cold chill ran down her spine. "Oh my God."
As the soft light of day touched Spike, his skin began to smoke. He did not falter and made no attempt to cover himself up. In fact he hardly seemed to notice. Buffy rushed to grab him, she threw him in the house. Well, she tried to. An invisible barrier kept him out.
"Shit!" She pushed again. "Fuck! I invite you in."
The two of them fell through the open door as the barrier disappeared. Buffy shut the door behind her.
Spike struggled to get back outdoors. "Why'd you stop me? It's what you bloody want too!"
Buffy held him down with surprising ease. His once super strength was n longer a match for hers. The slayer's fingers fully encircled his wrists with room to spare. He was little more than skin and bones.
"What's that matter with you Spike?" Buffy demanded, the full horror of his intended actions finally donning on her. "You were trying to kill yourself in front of me? Is that supposed to be some sort of big, romantic vampire gesture? Cuz it's not exactly winning me over at the moment."
Spike struggled some more and then gave up, collapsing into sobs. "I just wanted to see you one last time before ... I can't go on like this. It's wrong. I just can't." Inspiration struck. Spike halted his crying and grasped Buffy's hands. "Stake me Buffy. Now. It'll be easier for both of us."
Buffy let go of him and backed away. This was beyond even her dark side. "Ok, you're really freaking me out."
"I bring pain and misery to everything around me. I don't deserve to go on. I can't, I just can't. And I won't."
" Buffy looked him over. His clothes were torn and tattered and as for Spike himself, he looked like a walking skeleton. "Spike, you're a mess. When is the last time you fed or slept?"
"I can't," he told her, "not since..." The tears overcame him once more. "I want to die. Kill me Buffy please kill me."
Buffy, against her better judgment, knelt beside him. She touched her fingers to his brow. Fear surged inside her, of the memories that touch would bring, but her compassion overwhelmed her. This was not the smug, overly confident Spike she had known and almost loved. Spike leaned into her, resting his head against a her shoulder. Buffy let him cry - once her enemy, once her lover and now the mere shadow of a man.
He passed out of exhaustion sometime later. Buffy lifted him up. He was light as a feather. She carried him over to the couch, placing him carefully upon it and covering him with a stray blanket. She sat down beside Spike, watching over him.
It was like a dream, and Buffy wasn't sure if she wanted it to be real or not. So many feelings should have been coursing through her, yet she felt numb. That terrified her all the more, her lack of feeling. She stirred from his side only at the sound of Willow's voice. She knew not how long she had been sitting there, watching.
"Buffy! There's something I have to tell you. It's Spike - he's..." Willow's voice trailed off as she realized who was residing upon the couch. "...here." Willow looked at Buffy with big, startled eyes. "What's with sleeping blondie?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Um Buff, there's an attempted rapist sleeping on the couch, I think we need to talk about it."
Buffy tossed her hands in the air, at a total loss. "He just showed up ok? I didn't know what else to do."
"A first class staking does spring to mind," Willow suggested.
"Will, he tried to commit suicide in front of me."
Willow stopped in her tracks. She suppressed her impulse to scold. "Wow. Are you ok?"
Buffy shook her head. "No, I'm not. I think there's something wrong with him. I don't know what to do. I just know he needs me. I can't leave him for dead."
She's thinking about Angel right now, Willow realized correctly, and how it felt to kill someone you had once made love to. "I know. But this isn't about just you."
"Trust me, he's not in the position to hurt a fly right now, let alone you."
"It's not me I'm worried about. It's Dawn and Tara. Me isn't really an issue since I'm sort of taking off-"
"Taking off?!" Buffy questioned, puzzled. This was news to her.
"I'm going to Tibet with Oz."
Buffy jumped to her feet. "There's no way Will. I love you and Tara and I'm not going to let you mess it up again. You guys are my new and improved light at the end of the tunnel, and if there are any more train wrecks ... well let's just say I'll be joining the convent."
"Well, you always did look stunning in black," Willow teased. "It's not that kind of trip. Strictly platonic. A definite no to the fuzzy feelings. He thinks he can help me. You saw what those monks did for him. They got rid of the wolf in him, made him better. And well, if they could do that for him, maybe they could make me better too."
"Better than what Will? I thought you were doing ok."
"I am," Willow told her. "I'm great .... when Tara's around. I'm strong and I'm brave and I'm even happy. But I can't be around her 24 hours a day. And when she's gone, when I'm alone, it all starts creeping back to me. What I am. What I've done. And I'm terrified, that if something happened to her or you or Dawnie that I'd snap again."
Buffy and Willow had never really discussed the events of Willow's darkapaloza. It had always been there between them, felt but not vocalized. Buffy suddenly realized how long overdue the conversation was.
"The magic's gone Will. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't."
"Now that's not true," Willow corrected. "Dark magic never fully goes away. Not when you've used the quantities I have. It's here with me always, looming over me like a shadow. I just can't access its power anymore. Besides, there other ways than magic to hurt people, you know that."
"All too well."
"This is something I need to do. Tara understands. I just want to get back to the Willow I once was. I want to be good."
"You are good. You're one of the best people I know."
"No," Willow disagreed. "I'm not. But I think I could be."
"When are you leaving? Because I think we should have a Scooby meeting."
"Tomorrow morning. I'm not about to miss my girls's big night." Buffy drew a blank. "You know, the dance!"
"Oh right, what do you say to a Scooby meeting before?" Buffy asked.
"Count me in. I'll let Tara and Xander know. What about Spike?"
"I'll call in sick, stay here with him. I don't trust him alone."
"A big agreement on the not trusting Spike," Willow said. "On the other hand, you can't call in sick forever."
"I'll worry about it later after he's in better shape. Right now what he needs is rest and ... dammit, blood. Willow, do you think you could make a run to the butcher shop?"
"I'm not real big on the blood and gore right now. Listen, why don't you go. I'll watch over captain peroxide."
"You're sure."
Willow went to Buffy's chest of weapons to collect supplies. "Holy water, a cross and a few stakes out to do it. Just because I don't have magic anymore, doesn't mean I'm defenseless. Not to mention, a simple opening of the blinds and ..."
"I get the fiery picture." Buffy gave Willow a hug. "Thanks, I'll hurry back."
* * *
Buffy had but just placed her order at the butcher shop when she ran into Xander.
"Hey, fancy meeting you here," he told her.
"Xander," she responded, startled. "What are you doing here?"
"Just picking up a few steaks. I got me a manly new BBQer and I wanted to test it out. I was just about to call you guys. How about it?"
"Actually tonight, we were sort of planning a Scooby meeting.."
"Well great, you can have it at my place. Red meat AND monster research."
Buffy dare not leave Spike alone. "I don't think that'd work right now Xander. Can I take a rain check?"
The butcher came out and handed her the container of blood. "There you go miss."
"You're getting blood?" Xander asked.
"I know, isn't it great?" the butcher said.
Xander gave him a look that said, no it clearly wasn't great.
"I told him I was in the musical version of Carrie," Buffy explained.
Xander stared at it for a few moments before speaking, taking it all in. "Ok, it's daytime and you're still wearing a cross, so what's happening?"
"I really can't get into it."
"Either Angel is back in town or ... it better not be another reason."
"It's not Angel."
"Him!" Xander said, furious. "Always HIM. Have you forgotten that he tried to rape you?"
"It's complicated, ok?" she shot back. "He tried to kill himself right in front of me."
"Good!"
"Xander, I couldn't just let him-"
"Yes, you could. And if I had just let him dust himself over Drusilla, this whole mess never would have happened."
"He's in bad shape Xander. Right now he couldn't even harm a fly let alone hurt me. He's different. Changed. I don't know what happened to him, but he is. Different."
"What, you think he suddenly sprouted a soul?"
"I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that there's something haunting him. Tormenting him. And regardless of our personal history, I'm not going to let him waste away to nothing."
"You're making a mistake."
"Maybe, but it's my mistake. Look, we'll talk about it tonight, with the others."
"Fine, but you're a fool." Xander stalked away in a huff, the ingredients for his barbeque completely forgotten.
* * *
Buffy gently stirred Spike into consciousness.
"I'm dreaming," he mumbled as his eyes fluttered open. "You're a dream."
"No I'm not, I'm right here." She spoke to him in soft tones. " I need you do something for me, ok? I need you to eat." She opened the container of blood. "Food will make you strong."
Spike shoved the container away in disgust, nearly spilling it's contents all over Buffy. "It's blood."
"I know, I know... I don't have any Wheatabix or that burma root stuff. But it's perfectly normal blood."
"No," Spike shoved it away again. "Not going to kill."
"Huh?" Buffy was baffled by the repulsion he seemed to have for the red, sticky sustenance.
"I don't kill people anymore," he stated matter-of-factly.
"It's pigs blood, not human!" Spike was not convinced. Buffy sighed and moved to plan B. "We'll take this slow." She dipped a spoon in the blood and brought it to his lips. Spike clamped his mouth tightly shut, refusing to open.
Buffy lost her patience. "I am not doing the airplane game for you! If you don't feed you'll die!" Perhaps that was not the best logic for a vampire who was highly suicidal. Buffy chose a different approach. She edged closer to him. In a calm voice, she did the best to sooth him. "Spike, I need you to do this. For me. Please?"
She had always been the one who could break down his walls and defenses. His mouth parted slightly. He took one tiny sip of the blood and grimaced. He choked it down, educing a coughing fit in the process. "It's awful," he told her.
"I know. Just a little bit more, ok? For me." She fed him a couple of more spoonfuls, all to similar effect. She then put it down. "We'll try a little more later."
Spike looked horrified at the concept but nodded.
"Spike," Buffy had to ask, "How did you get like this? What happened to you when you were gone?"
"I can't talk about it," Spike firmly stated.
"Ok. If you change your mind, I'm here to listen." She had barely left his side when he spoke.
"I know that sorry doesn't mean a bloody thing after everything I did to you. Some things can never be taken back once they've been done. Sorry doesn't change that. But I am - sorry. Never been more sorry in my life. Of all the people I've hurt, what I did to you - it plagues me the most."
Buffy was unsure what to make of this peace offering. "Apology accepted. This doesn't mean I forgive you, and it doesn't mean I forget. I can never forgive or forget what you did. But your apology I can take. I'm sorry too." She was not apologizing to him, but rather telling him how much she wished neither of them had had to experience that. A notion wiggled at the back of her brain. It was preposterous, and yet there was something familiar in his words. Something akin to the way Angel had spoken about his past...
Buffy looked into Spike's eyes. It was difficult for her to do. She didn't want to go back there again. But she had to know. They held the same haunting blueness they always did, but deep within them there was something else. Something new. A spark. "Your soul -"
Spike immediately looked away from her. "Guess the kitten's off of the poker table."
"Why would you do that?"
"Isn't it obvious? I did it for you." Spike chuckled at his own stupidity. "It's what I thought you wanted."
Buffy felt sick to her stomach. "Oh God."
"Of course I see it now. My soul didn't make me worthy. It just made me realize exactly how unworthy I am." Spike sunk deeper into his depression.
"And you want to die?"
"You weren't supposed to know. I thought I'd just disappear. I wanted a last look at you, just a look, before I left this world. I didn't count on you spotting me. I guess things never go quite the way you plan. Just look at me."
"I am. I-" Buffy's lower lip trembled. "It's a lot Spike. I need some time. Do me a favor and get some sleep."
* * *
When Dawn came home from school, Buffy was waiting for her.
"I wanted to talk to you. You snuck off to school so fast this morning-"
Dawn shrugged. "Yeah, well I didn't hear you come in last night, so I figured you'd be all with the snoozing. You know how much you bitch when I wake you up in too early. What's up?"
"There's an emergency Scooby meeting tonight," she informed her little sister.
"No can do. The baddie will just have to wait. I got me some dancing to do."
"Oh right." Buffy remembered Willow had mentioning that.
"Which reminds me, Willow said I could stay over at Sarah's on account of how Xander's car is in the shop and you can't drive and neither can Willow, Tara or myself and you know, brooms don't really work well as mass transportation and Sarah's house is really close to the school so... pretty please." Dawn looked at Buffy hopefully.
Buffy had never had to deal with Dawn-babble before. "You want me to let you spend the night at your girlfriend's house?"
Dawn was offended at the obvious implications. "Her parents will be there. Yeah, like we're going to do something with them in the house."
That never stopped me, Buffy thought. Still, she did not have the timeor the energy to argue. There was enough going on. "All right."
"Excellent!" Dawn, doing a little jump in the air and clapping her hands together. Having gotten what she wanted, Dawn turned to leave assuming the conversation was concluded. She started up the steps to her bedroom.
"Not so fast. There's something I have to tell you. It's Spike-"
Dawn was instantly on alert at the sound of his name. "What did he do?"
"Nothing. He did nothing. He's... he's here."
"Here?!! Where?" Dawn went to search the house."
Buffy stopped her. "In the living room. He's sleeping."
Dawn's eyes grew wide. "You didn't!"
"What? No. God, no! I've been down that road ok, I don't really feel like a revisit. He just needs a little help right now. He's in bad shape Dawnie."
"Good. Now why don't I stake him? Then he'll be in even worse shape."
"Dawn!" The firmness of Buffy's reaction made it clear she did not consider the situation to be a joking matter. "He got his soul."
Dawn felt as if she had been slapped. "Wow. I had no idea. Are you sure?"
"He's a mess. No one is that good of an actor. Look, it'll just be for a couple of days, until I can get him on his feet again."
"A couple of days? Here?!" Dawn did not like that idea, soul or not. "Uh no. Absolutely not. What if he hurts someone?"
"He won't."
"You don't know that. If he hurts Willow, if he so much looks at Tara's the wrong way, I'll make Dark Magic Willow look like Glenda the good witch," Dawn warned. She was dead serious.
"I won't let him hurt anyone again. I swear that to you."
Dawn didn't believe her. "Right. Whatever."
"So, Scooby meeting tonight before the dance?" Buffy asked, desperately seeking Dawn's approval. "Sarah's invited of course. She is a Scooby."
Dawn was genuinely touched in spite of her anger at her sister. "I'll let her know."
"Hey and afterward I'll help you get ready if you want. You know, I've got a great pair of shoes to go with that dress if you want to borrow them, high heels," Buffy told her.
"Puh-lease," Dawn smirked. "Like heels are supposed to make me feel grown up or something. All they do is make me trip and fall. Nope, I got me a nice pair of ballet flats that will do just fine, thankyouverymuch. They're really cute with these tiny little bows."
"They sound cute."
"What can I say, the monks were thorough. They even remembered give me fashion sense." Dawn frowned as a new thought occured to her. "Is Oz coming to the meeting."
"I don't know," Buffy admitted. "I really hadn't thought that far ahead. I guess it's up to Willow and Tara."
"Well, he IS still a Scooby isn't he? I mean even though he and Willow aren't together. He deserves to know."
Buffy nodded. Damn Dawnie. When did she get all wise? "I'll let him know."
* * *
"She's insane and should be stopped," Xander told them, opening the Scooby meeting.
"If we're talking about Martha Stewart, I definitely agree," Oz replied.
"We're talking Spike," Willow explained.
"Spike?" Sarah asked, confused.
Dawn took Sarah's hand in hers. "Remember that older guy I talked about who I sort of liked? Y'know, the one who dated my sister?"
Buffy gave a snort. "Sort of liked? Dawn you used to practically drool every time he walked in the room," she pointed out.
"Buffy dated Spike?" Oz asked.
"I also used to eat peanut butter and salami sandwiches. I would say both are pretty icky, and definitely things I've grown out of. You're one to talk. You slept with him."
"Buffy slept with Spike?" Oz asked, a touch louder.
"It was this whole big thing last year," Willow told him.
Oz raised an eyebrow. "I definitely need to keep in touch better."
"It's not a very happy story," Tara added, "And something we should let Buffy discuss if and when she chooses to."
Buffy shot Tara a grateful look.
"I think I'm missing something," Sarah said, "Why is everyone upset about an old boyfriend?"
"He was never my boyfriend," Buffy protested.
"He's a vampire," Dawn told her.
"A pretty evil one," Oz added, "unless I imagined him trying to kill us repeatedly?"
"He has a chip in his head so he's a harmless bunny now," Xander said, the sarcasm literally dripping from his words. He prepared to apologize for the bunny comment, but then remembered Anya was not present. Of all the mistakes he had made in his life, dumping Anya at the altar was on the top of his list. He briefly wondered how she was. He would probably never know. His thoughts of her were abandoned as a surge of hatred for Spike over powered them. "Oh yeah, except for the time he attacked Buffy and tried to-"
"He has a soul," Buffy announced. The others sat in silence for a few moments.
"Are you sure?" Willow asked.
"He told me himself."
Xander was not convinced, "He's probably just lying."
"I don't think he is," Tara interjected. "His pain, his guilt, his despair - they scream at me from the other room. The soulless don't fully realize those emotions."
"You can feel all that?" Willow asked.
"It would appear I have an increased sensitivity to the feelings of others left over from my Goddess days."
"Good as well as bad? Because would explain the intensity of ... nothing." Willow gave her lover a knowing glance.
Tara leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Darling that's just you."
"Say he has a soul," Xander argued, "so what? He killed people Buffy."
Xander's comment cut short the happy Willow's happy glowy time. "Hey," she said.
"Not to mention he tried to kill us all."
"Need I repeat? Hey."
"Sorry Will," Xander apologized. I just meant that, you know, he tried to end the world."
"Capital H, capital E, capital Y!" Willow gave Xander a sharp look. Even without her powers, Xander withered under her glare.
"Willow raises a good point," Tara interrupted, hoping to prevent to massacre.
"Point? I had a point? I thought I was just being unrighteously indignant," Willow said to Tara.
"We can't give one person a second chance and push away another. To forgive is divine. I'm willing to give him a chance."
Willow nodded in agreement with her lover. "I've done some pretty awful things myself. People can change."
Tara gazed tenderly at the redhead, her eyes full of pride. "I always believed in you. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have fought have come back."
Oz spoke up. "As a wolf who has harmed people in the past, I got to go with the girls on that one."
Dawn hesitated. "I don't like it, but I you have a point. But only if Sarah agrees."
Sarah shrugged. "I'm not really the best judge since I never met the guy, but I'm all for the forgiveness thing."
Xander stared at them, unable to comprehend what he was hearing. "It must be a female thing. You're all nuts."
Oz raised his hand. "Um, male."
"It could be a wolf thing as well. I'm not ruling it out."
Willow spoke lovingly to Xander, making it clear that as his best friend she knew him as well as he knew himself, possibly better. "If you didn't believe that good can come out of evil, you never would have tried to talk me down. You know that."
That was true, and he knew it. "And if he attacks Buffy again?"
"Then that my concern, not yours, and I'll deal with it," Buffy told him. "Look, I'm not thrilled with this plan either. But I can't just sit around and let him die. It'll only be a couple of days, until I can figure out what to do with him. I promise."
* * *
Everyone had to admit Dawn and Sarah looked dazzling. Dawn's hair was separated into many twisted sections that were held in place by butterfly clips, silver to match her dress. Her ballet slippers matched the outfit perfectly. She had passed on the body glitter though, afraid she might look too much like a disco ball. Sarah on the other hand had put her blond locks up into a French twist. She had opted for fluffy high heels with a feather boa to match, both black in contrast with her purple gown.
Buffy, Willow and Tara all joined in a loud, "Awww!" as the couple descended the stairs.
"You guys look hot!" Tara declared loudly.
"Tara!" Buffy said in shock. "That's my sister you're talking about."
"Well they do. I wish I had had a cute girl to take to my high school dances."
"I'll take you to any dance you want sweetie," Willow promised. "Pictures! I need pictures."
Dawn was embarrassed. "We'll get some at the dance."
"Not good enough," Willow told them, whipping out her camera. "I have a whole roll of film with your names on it. Well, you and Tibet." She held the view piece up to her eye. "Say lesbo street cred!"
Dawn and Sarah giggled, as Willow snapped the first shot. "Good, now put your arm around her Dawnie."
Dawn did as instructed, flashing a beaming grin at her girlfriend.
Willow clicked away. "Fabulous. Now I expect a smoochie shot."
Buffy's smile wavered as her sister pressed her lips to Sarah's. She took the camera from Willow. "How about one of you and Tara?"
Willow happily obliged, pulling Tara in and dipping her for a mind-blowing kiss.
"Don't you be giving them any ideas now," Buffy told them, only half serious. "Well, you two better be get on your way. You don't want to be late, now do you?"
"One last picture," Willow said.
Buffy objected as she realized she was the intended subject of Willow's next photograph. "No, definitely not. I have training hair."
"C'mon, you and Dawnie!"
Buffy moved in close to her little sister. The little sister who was now a great deal taller than her. The sister that was growing up so fast, Buffy no longer knew where she stood. Where either of them stood. The sister that would soon lose her need for Buffy altogether, if her slaying skills progressed at their current rate. I hardly even know her anymore, Buffy thought. When did I get so out of touch?
* * *
Sarah and Dawn walked in hand in hand to the dance.
Dawn surveyed her surroundings. "Oooh, tacky streamers and balloons!"
"Not to mention the cheesy music," Sarah added. "Isn't it great?"
"It's perfect." Dawn wrinkled hr nose as she frowned in the direction of a long line. "More pictures?"
"Too many pictures is better than not enough," Sarah pointed out. "You want to spring for it?"
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Well, I suppose it would be a waste for the cutest couple here not to be properly captured on film."
"Who?" Sarah asked innocently. "Tony Brown and Dana Allen?"
Dawn elbowed her in the ribs. "At the rate this line is going, we won't get to actually DANCE at our dance."
"Tsk, tsk," Sarah scolded, "patience is a virtue."
"I'm not exactly feeling inclined to be virtuous right now." Dawn's eyes met Sarah's, making little attempt to hide the sexual implications behind her statement.
Sarah instantly became flustered. She attempted to play with her hair, before remembering that it was pinned up. She pushed invisible strands behind her ears. "I, um..."
"You're parents are gone tonight?"
"Yeah, you know that."
Dawn quieted Sarah's hands with a light kiss on her fingertips. "Good."
After much waiting, the dynamic duo finally got in. With no photo-happy Willow to guide them, they began deliberating over how they should pose.
"I suppose you should be in back," Sarah teased, "You are the butch one-"
"I am not!" Dawn responded, easily offended. "Remember, hours spent on make up?"
"It's a cover up," Sarah decided. "You're a closet butch.
Dawn stuck her tongue out at her.
"Better watch it or your face will freeze that way," Sarah scolded.
"Thank you MOTHER," Dawn said sarcastically.
"Mother?" Sarah asked. "I think we just stumbled upon a complex Freud never even dreamed of." She tried one last argument. "You're taller."
"You've got me there," Dawn admitted. She stood behind Sarah, and wrapped her arms around her. The much aggravated photographer took his shot.
"Ok missy, you owe me a dance!" Dawn told her.
The two of them began to get down to the funky rap in the background.
"Get your free corn?" Sarah asked. "What a silly song...oh wait."
They took a break to get some punch.
"Do you think the punch has been spiked yet?" Dawn asked.
"I don't know. I hope not. I need what little coordination I have."
"Nah, you look great out the there. You sort of always look great."
Their conversation was cut short by Danny, a fellow classman.
"Hey Dawn," he said, his hands in his pockets.
"Hey." Dawn, though uninterested attempted to be polite.
"I think it's really great that you and your friend came alone."
"We didn't," she answered.
"Right," he said, not believing her. "So, I was wondering if you wanted to dance."
"I came with someone," Dawn reemphasized.
"Yeah, which is why there hasn't been a guy near you all night. You should be grateful I'm even making the effort. I've heard about that loony of a sister of yours-"
Sarah stepped in, taking Dawn by the hand. "Honey, they're playing a our song."
Dawn followed her out onto the dance floor. "We have a song?"
"We do now." Sarah placed her hands on her girlfriend's shoulders, swaying slowly back and forth to the strains of Sarah McLaughlin.
iYour love is better than ice cream
It's better than anything else that I've tried.
Your love is better than ice cream
Everyone knows how to fly.../i
"I guess I just outed us," Sarah realized. "Do you mind?"
"Not a bit." Dawn leaned her forehead against the blonde's. Slowly, their lips crept towards each others, until they locked in a tender kiss. Sparks flew between them. Literally.
As they parted, Dawn noticed the shimmering lights around them. "You?"
"I'm still working on the magic thing. It sort of happens on its own sometimes, when emotions are running high, so..."
"Pretty." Dawn winked. "If anyone asks we'll just say it's confetti."
* * *
"Good dance?" Dawn asked when they were safely inside Sarah's residence.
"Best dance. Best night of my life ... so far." Sarah grew flushed.
They made their way into Sarah's room, and placed themselves on opposite sides of the bed.
They changed out of their dresses in quiet. Neither dared to speak what was on both of their minds. They both waited in uncomfortable silence for a move, even a word from the other. An eternity seemed to pass between them.
"So," Sarah said at last.
"So."
The silence lingered on.
"I'm not ready, I'm sorry," Sarah blurted out.
Dawn let out a huge sigh of relief. "I was kinda nervous about it myself."
"It's not that I don't want to-"
"I know."
"It's just," Sarah gathered her courage, " I don't want to rush into anything that might mess this up. I think I'm falling in love with you. "
Dawn's fingers sought out Sarah's, holding them firm. "I know what you mean. I kinda sorta think I'm falling in love with you too."
"I'm
really, really happy that you said that." Sarah cuddled up to
Dawn. "This ok?"
"Yeah."
They spent the rest of the night just laying in bed holding each other. And it was the best night of their lives ... so far.
