Sorry it took me so long to get this next chapter up...had a bit of writer's block...anyway, here it is...I hope you all enjoy and r & r...as usual I don't own anything affiliated with T7S...if only I did...*sigh*
POINT PLACE, WISCONSIN
JANUARY 13TH, 1977
THURSDAY AFTERNOON
ERIC FORMAN'S BASEMENT
Eric, Hyde, and Fez are checking out a map.
"Alright guys, this is no sweat. If we leave right after school, we should make it to Jackie's ski cabin by like six o'clock." Eric informs the other two as he folds up the map.
"Man, I can't wait. A trip to my favorite place. Anywhere but here," replies Hyde. Should be nice to get out of this smelly basement for awhile…and maybe I'll get a shot with Donna…no wait, she'll probably be sharing a room with Forman! Dammit… He turns and glares at Eric for a second, which goes unnoticed by Eric, as he's still folding up the map.
Eric looks up and continues, in a vain attempt to sound cool, "And I'm betting that Alpine Valley is gonna give the Kid many make out opportunities with Donna this weekend. The Kid is in."
"What's with the whole 'Kid' thing?" Hyde asks, sarcastically while doing some serious eye rolling. Man, Forman can be pretty strange at times…I wonder what Donna finds so great about him…
"It's cool…" Eric begins cockily, but trails off. "It's not cool?" he continues, uncertain.
"Not cool, dorky." Fez is only too happy to point out.
Kelso chooses this moment to walk in with a huge smile on his face, clearly elated. "Guess who made out with Pam Macy behind the gym?" he giddily exclaims.
"Everyone," answers Hyde, never one to pass up a good Kelso burn. Why are we STILL hanging out with this guy…?
"No, me!" Kelso shouts, clearly confused by and completely missing Hyde's burn.
"Kelso, a lot of people hang out behind the gym." Eric replies tiredly.
Kelso, completely missing the point replies, "Yeah, that's what's so great about it. Everybody saw it!"
"Oh, that's great man! Yeah, because then everybody can tell Jackie you moron!" Hyde retorts bluntly, his voice laced with sarcasm. I swear when God was handing out brains, Kelso here must've missed the lineup…
"Yeah, and then she's gonna dump you and we won't be able to go up to her ski cabin!" Eric informs him, clearly angry at the prospect of missing a nice skiing weekend with Donna.
"She's never gonna find out." Kelso replies cockily.
However Jackie chooses this moment to walk in, and quickly disprove Kelso's theory by shouting at the top of her lungs, "You are a dog Michael, a dirty dirty dog!"
"What did I do?" Kelso asks, clearly trying to play innocent, and failing miserably.
"You kissed Pam Macy!" Fez unnecessarily points out.
Kelso shrieks in humiliation, as he realizes his 'innocent' act wasn't working with Jackie this time.
Jackie continues shouting at Kelso, and puts her hands on her hips. She was clearly very angry, "I trusted you Michael, and now all my friends are laughing at me. I can't even show my face in the third floor bathroom anymore! And that's the cool bathroom!"
"But, I…" Kelso begins, trying once again to defend himself, but gets cut off by a rather furious, Jackie.
"No Michael. We're through," she replies, calmly but furiously. She adds emphasis to this by moving her arm around in a gesture of finality.
"Okay, if that's the way you want it, we're through. And Monday, when we get back from that ski trip, it's over!" Kelso exclaims, frustrated. However he has no intentions on missing out on a free ski weekend.
"No Michael, no, no, no, no, no. You won't be skiing this weekend," responds Jackie, clearly admonishing him, fully intending to exclude him as punishment for his cheating ways.
"Oh, that's just great Jackie. Cancel the ski trip and disappoint all our friends!" Kelso exclaims, clearly in an effort to salvage the trip, mainly for his own benefit. I also don't want them all frogging me cuz they missed out on the weekend…I'd never hear the end of it…
"Oh no no no. We are still going." Jackie replies, while slapping both Eric and Fez's thighs, and thus ignoring Kelso. That'll teach him for kissing that slut Pam Macy…
"Well, they're surely not going without me. Right guys?" Kelso asks, looking at both Eric and Fez with a desperate look on his face. His question only meets with silence, and his look becomes more and more frantic.
"Oh, and did I mention my parents are not coming? So it'll be just us…" Jackie informs them, to seal the deal.
Eric turns to Kelso with open arms and exclaims, "So we'll see you Monday!"
FORMAN DRIVEWAY
Hyde is holding onto a rolled up sleeping bag as he walks over to Donna.
"Hey Donna man, I brought my double sleeping bag, you know?" Hyde remarks suggestively. Chances are she'll have some snide comment all ready for me, but what the hell....
"Great! Can Eric and I borrow it?" Donna responds sarcastically, and rolls her eyes. Somehow I had to know he'd try this...can't let it continue though, cuz Eric, my boyfriend, will get suspicious...she tries to convince herself, but as she's walking away, she can't help but look over her shoulder and smile at Hyde as he puts his sleeping bag into the truck of the Cruiser.
"Oh Hyde, watching you fail over and over… it is like Charlie Brown and the football!" Fez exclaims giddily.
"Yeah man, I just don't get it." Hyde responds, dejected, and more than a little disappointed.
"No, because Eric already has it!" Fez exclaims, laughing. Hyde looks over at him, clearly not amused; he stops laughing.
FORMAN KITCHEN
Eric walks into the kitchen with a sleeping bag, only to find Kelso waiting for him.
"Oh. Hey Kelso, um, look, I just wanna make sure we're cool 'cause this weekend is like really important for me and Donna…so thanks for understanding." Eric begins uncertainly.
"Yeah, I understand," Kelso begins dejected, then shouts, "I understand that we're not friends anymore!"
"Okay, look man, you brought this on yourself." Eric responds exasperated.
"I know I did, but that's no reason for me to suffer!" Kelso exclaims, failing to understand why someone as man pretty as himself should be excluded from anything. Especially an unsupervised ski weekend.
"No that is a great reason for you to suffer! What…? I'm going!" Eric responds, disgusted. He turns around and walks out to the driveway, leaving Kelso behind.
"Fine, go! See if I care! Oh, come on man! We're…" Kelso begins, trying to make it look like he doesn't care. Seeing that Eric isn't going to turn around he chases after him, only to find everyone else all packed up and ready to go. He stops in his tracks, apparently not believing they would actually leave without him.
FORMAN DRIVEWAY
"Well, here's your emergency roadside kit." Red says, while handing Eric a box full of stuff.
"Kitty litter?" Eric asks, looking confused, then upon Red's 'look', "Oh, kitty litter, right!"
"Um honey, I put some sandwiches in your duffel bag. Now, um, why do you need such a big bag of oregano?" Kitty asks, looking at their luggage through the back window of the Cruiser.
"Donna's Italian?…" Eric begins nervously, by way of explanation, but trails off. This causes Kitty to start laughing, and Eric follows her around the car. He stops and heads toward the driver's side door.
"Okay, stay warm!" Kitty admonishes in her protective motherly way, as Eric starts the car.
"Okay, I see what's going on! You're not really going skiing! This is all just a gag! You're just trying to get me all worked up so you can go: 'Oh just kidding buddy!' Yeah, you got me. That's a nice burn!" Kelso exclaims, obviously still not willing to believe that they were actually leaving him behind.
"It sure is… bye-bye." Eric responds mockingly. Why do we still hang out with this guy...seriously? Eric gets into the car and starts backing out of the driveway. Red and Kitty wave to the departing car.
"Oh, he's not going! He'll be back! Yup, any second now… he's probably just going around the block. I gotta hand it to him. He got me there! That's a major burn! Yup… There he is!" the ever hopeful Kelso continues to Red and Kitty, who look upon him with a combination of pity for his plight, and annoyance at his stupidity. They turn and look at each other, then turn back toward the house, leaving Kelso alone in the driveway.
Kelso looks down the street and sees a car turning the corner. Thinking that it's Eric and the gang..."I knew it!" Then upon realising it's not them, "Uh, no, that's not him." Even after this, he continues looking down the street, hoping that Eric will come back for him.
VISTA CRUISER
"I have never seen snow before! It is so beautiful!" Fez exclaims, looking out the window in awe.
"Do you know what the best part of this whole trip is? That Michael is not here! He'd just be sitting here, telling me how cute I look in my fur-trimmed coat. I know I look cute, I don't need him here for that." Jackie vents.
Hyde, meanwhile is looking through the box of things Red gave Eric, "Forman man, what's all this crap that Red gave you?" What the hell do we need all this crap for?
Eric glances over with a look of annoyance on his face, "I don't know, he's obsessed with kitty litter. I think he might be going insane."
The car skids and everyone screams until the car suddenly stops...then silence...
"Far out!" Hyde exclaims, clearly impressed.
"What the hell was that?" Donna asks in annoyance.
"I don't know, I guess we hit some ice." replies Eric, by way of explanation. He proceeds to step on the gas, but the car won't move as its tires are stuck in the snow. "Oh great, we stuck," he explains and throws up his hands in frustration.
Everyone except Jackie gets out of the car to see how badly it's stuck.
Fez comes around the car cradling a snowball in his hands. "Look, I made my first snow ball! I love snow so much my fingers are numb with joy!" he exclaims gleefully.
"That's frostbite Fez." Donna replies with annoyance.
"How rude!" Fez exclaims, and throws down the snowball with anger. "I hate your white men's winter!"
"Get in the car Fez, get in the car." Donna tells him. Fez gets in the car.
"Eric, do something!" Jackie frustratedly exclaims.
"Yeah man, stop goofing around!" adds Hyde. Man, it's cold out here...and look at Donna...she must be freezing...come on Forman, fix this damn car already...
Donna glances behind her at Eric and Hyde before getting back into the car.
Hyde tries to help Eric by handing him the roadside kit. "Wow, it's freezing!" he tosses over his shoulder as he climbs back into the car as well, leaving Eric alone in the snow.
VISTA CRUISER, LATER
Eric is still trying to get the car moving again out in the snow.
"This is awful! We're all going to die! And I love Michael!" Jackie exclaims, somewhat melodramatically.
"Shut up!" Hyde, Donna, and Fez exclaim. They are clearly starting to get annoyed.
Outside...
"Okay, think Eric, think! Why kitty litter?" Eric says, tapping his feet and trying to concentrate.
All of a sudden, Red's face appears in the night sky.
"Use the gum Eric." Red's face advises.
"Dad, what are you doing here?" asks Eric, clearly confused by his presence.
"I'm not here, you're imagining me. Now's who's insane mister smart mouth?" Red's face snaps.
"I guess I am." replies Eric, dejectedly. Of all the people I could conjure up, why did it have to be him...?
"Use the gum to stick the candle in the can. The candle heats the can which melts the snow behind the tire. Then pour on the kitty litter for traction. Now you think you can handle that?" Red's face asks, clearly annoyed now.
"Yes sir." Eric replies, military style.
"Good, because you don't want me back out here. I may be a figment of your imagination, but I'm still freezing my ass off." Red's face snaps, and shivers.
THE BASEMENT
Kelso is sitting alone as Kitty comes down the stairs.
"Michael, what are you doing down here?" she asks as she sits down beside him on the couch.
"You know what? I think Eric actually went. What a jerk!" Kelso responds, astonished and hurt that his friends actually left without him.
"Well, why don't you just go to Jackie's cabin and talk to him?" Kitty advises him.
"I can't. I don't have a car, and besides, Jackie hates me forever because I kissed Pam Macy." Kelso explains, clearly distressed.
"You know, when Mr. Forman and I were dating., I saw him kissing a girl in a movie theatre once and I forgave him."
Kitty informs him.
"You forgave him for kissing another girl?" Kelso asks, somewhat surprised.
"Yes sir. I mean it wasn't, it wasn't so much kissing as it was a groping, sloppy, pawing, nibbling nightmare." Kitty exclaims, clearly not over the incident she just described. Then she begins to laugh in that uncomfortable way of hers.
"But, but you forgave him!" Kelso exclaims, relieved.
"Yeah, I forgave the bastard!" Kitty responds, unenthusiastically.
"Cool!" Kelso replies. He gets up and leaves, intent on getting to the ski cabin to talk to Jackie.
A TRUCK
A truck stops and Kelso gets in. The trucker looks at him with 'interest'.
"Well, hello there!" Gus, the trucker greets, somewhat suggestively.
"Hey, thanks for stopping. Are you going all the way to Alpine Valley?" Kelso asks, just glad that someone actually stopped.
"Oh, I'm going… wherever you're going!" Gus responds, clearly coming on to Kelso.
"Wow, that's lucky!" Kelso exclaims, completely ignorant of the come on tone Gus is using with him.
Gus starts the truck and it begins to move. "So, did it hurt?" Gus asks, putting the moves on.
"What?" Kelso asks, confused.
"When you fell down from heaven!" Gus exclaims with a licentious grin.
"No, I'm fine!" Kelso responds dumbly.
JACKIE'S CABIN
Everyone finally arrives...a little cold...a lot annoyed, but safe.
"Alright! We made it!" Donna exclaims as she walks into the cabin.
Eric follows, snuggling deeper into his coat. "Yeah, just in time, that storm is getting nasty."
"I am so cold! The snow has stolen my manhood!" Fez pouts in a childlike way, while wrapping his arms around himself for warmth.
Jackie looks toward Donna and Eric. "Okay, there's only one bedroom. It was gonna be for Michael and I but since our love is… dead, you two should take it." she informs them, barely containing her tears.
"Alright! You wanna go check out our room?" Eric says excitedly.
"Sure" Donna responds less enthusically, and shrugs her shoulders. I know I should be thrilled that Eric and I will have some privacy, but I just can't help thinking about what Hyde must think...I really hafta stop doing this to myself...
Eric heads over to the bedroom thrilled, Donna follows somewhat morosely, and tosses a somewhat apologetic look to Hyde over her shoulder as she walks through the bedroom door.
"Where are you guys going? I thought we were gonnna hang…" Hyde begins frustrated, but trails off. What was with the look Donna gave me before following Forman into the bedroom? It kinda looked like she was reluctant to go...
Fez collaspes onto the floor as Jackie sits down on the couch.
"I am freezing! The winter in my country is seventy degrees! We must hold each other for warmth!" Fez pouts and grabs onto Jackie's leg.
"Stop touching me!" the brunette cheerleader hisses.
He lets her leg go and sits down on the carpet, alone. "Then I am going to die!" he exclaims and brings his arm up to his forehead in a mock dramatic gesture.
"Okay Fez… oh! Amaretto!" Hyde replies. This oughta shut him up...I'm getting pretty damn tired of his whining... It's bad enough that Donna's in the bedroom with Forman, while I sit out here...I don't even wanna think about what must be going on in there...
Hyde starts rifling through the liquor cabinet, looking for the amaretto. Finally he finds some, takes it out of the cabinet and opens it. "You know what man? This will warm you right up. Take a sip of that!" He hands over the bottle, and Fez takes a sip.
"Yum, liquid candy!" Fez exclaims, clearly feeling better now. He starts chugging it right out of the bottle. Hyde looks at him in amazement and wonder.
GUSES' TRUCK
Kelso is eating a hamburger and wearing a hat that says 'Truckers Make The Best Lovers".
"Thanks for the burger. Oh, and the hat!" he says, and points to the hat before continuing to eat the hamburger.
Well I just like to see that smile. See you coming down about your friend Eric." Gus replies with sympathy.
"Well, it's just… You know, he's always been there for me. Like, when people used to call me dumb, he'd say: 'Hey, he's not as dumb as you think!' People don't like to talk about it, but guy to guy relationships are pretty special, you know?" Kelso says, not even realizing how he comment may be interpreted.
"They can be the most beautiful thing in the world!" Gus exclaims with a look of longing and remembrance on his face.
"I don't know why I do this stuff! It's just like… I get these urges, you know, and I can't control them!" Kelso adds emphatically.
"Shoot! I wrote that country song!" Gus replies as he puts a tape into the tape player.
"I've been cheated, been mistreated! When will I be loved?" a womans voice sings from the tape, as Gus sings along.
THE BEDROOM IN THE CABIN
Eric and Donna are on the bed making out. From the other room, we hear some music, and what sounds like Jackie crying. They break the kiss.
"Okay, that's probably just Jackie crying!" Eric says in response to the sobs. I wish Jackie would just stop crying...she's kinda ruining the mood here...
"Yeah." Donna replies. Why doesn't someone comfort her already? Her sobs are getting sort of annoying, not to mention distracting...not that being distracted is necessarily a bad thing...especially since I do feel kinda uncomfortable laying here making out with Eric...and to think Hyde is just outside...stop that, you're making out with your BOYFRIEND, now concentrate...
Eric leans in, and they continue kissing. The crying keeps on coming and gets louder, if that's even possible. Donna breaks the kiss.
"Alright, alright, that's too much! Can you please go out there and break that record?" Donna replies disgustedly. Why aren't Hyde or Fez comforting her ALREADY...besides, she's crying over Kelso of all people...a guy who cheats on her with every opportunity, and is always saying how he's breaking up with her... Though I am sorta glad for the distraction since I can't seem to put Hyde outta my mind, and that's definitely NOT a good sign...especially since I'm supposed to be happy with Eric and everything...we even have our OWN room for Christ's sake...
Eric gets up and goes out.
THE LIVING ROOM IN THE CABIN
Hyde is on the armchair reading comics, while Jackie is sitting on the couch crying.
"What's going on?" Eric asks Hyde, and glances toward the weeping cheerleader.
Hyde's laughing and looks up from his magazine, "Ha-ha, "Spy versus Spy" man, they kill me!"
"No, with her!" Eric says and gestures in Jackie's direction.
"She seems upset or something." Hyde replies distractedly.
"Okay look, where's Fez?" asks Eric, who's becoming pretty irritated at this point.
Eric stops the record as Donna comes out of the bedroom and goes over to comfort Jackie.
"Fez? Oh, well, he killed that entire bottle of Amaretto, and then he ran outside saying he had to make a snow angel. But he was in his underwear." Hyde remarks with a smirk as he tosses a quick glance in Donna's direction. Jackie's crying may have been kinda annoying, but it did succeed in getting Donna and Forman out of that bedroom...just the thought of what they were probably doing in there turns my stomach...
"Okay look, either you need to go get Fez or console Jackie." Eric informs him with a look of resignation. Geez, can't leave these people alone for a few minutes without everything getting out of hand...and I hope he goes after Fez cuz I don't wanna go out in the cold, and I REALLY don't want him and Donna alone together after the whole Christmas gift thing...never did find out anything, even though I tried to ask everyone...even the prissy cheerleader kept her mouth shut...amazing...
"Er, I'll take Donna." Hyde replies. Oh no, now I've gone and let the cat outta the bag...Eric really will give me the boot in the ass now...calm down man, stay Zen...just act like you never said it, maybe he didn't even notice...ah dammit, who am I kidding?
"Jackie." Eric tells him sternly, and gives him the 'don't touch my girlfriend or i'll kick your ass' look. Well so long as he's comforting Jackie, he won't be alone with Donna, and I guess someone does have to go after Fez...he did leave in his underwear after all...what a weird weird guy...
"Jackie. Yeah, Jackie." Hyde responds, acting all innocent. He gestures in the direction of the sobbing mess on the couch, which Donna is attempting to comfort.
Eric heads out to look for Fez. Hyde throws his magazine down on a cushion, and takes a final swig out of his beer can. Then he goes and sits between Donna and Jackie. He tosses a quick look in Donna's direction before turning to Jackie who hugs him amidst her sobbing.
"Okay, oh, oh, okay, yeah okay, now I can see you're upset, ah ha, ah ha." he says in a weak attempt to comfort her, while rubbing her back. He pulls away and looks at her. "Now listen alright, if it's any consolation, Pam Macy would give it up to anybody." he adds, somewhat insensitively. I know I probably sound like a jerk right about now, but this will probably be the only chance I have to get Donna alone this weekend, and we really need to 'talk'...
Jackie starts crying again in earnest, while getting up and heading to the bedroom.
Hyde turns to Donna and puts his arm around her shoulders. "Oh, what do you know, we're all alone." he replies, rather insensitive to Jackie's plight. Ah dammit! Why did I have to say it like that...I know she's only gonna be mad about the way I handled Jackie...not the best way to start this conversation...stupid, stupid...
Donna gets up and starts screaming at him, "God Hyde, you can be such a jerk, you know that? You could have been more sensitive to Jackie's feelings, ya know? She just broke up with her boyfriend, who cheated on her! I mean, she needs our support right now, and what do you do? You kick her while she's already down!" She tosses him a dirty look and scowls at him. I mean, sometimes he can be so sweet...but then he has to go and ruin it by acting like an ass...
"Donna, I am sorry that I acted the way I did. I just thought we could use the time alone. We need to talk and since we've been here you've been locked in that bedroom with Forman. I'll apologize to Jackie later, but I think we have more pressing issues to discuss." Hyde informs her. Smooth man...that oughta calm her down. Hopefully we can clear some stuff up before Forman shows up with Fez now...
"Why would we need to be alone, Hyde? And what could we possibly need to discuss? I thought we had this conversation already, and had decided it was best to stay friends..." Donna asks defensively. Just what does he plan on doing here? I thought he would have done something after I got him that candle for Christmas, but nothing... What does he think he's doing now...?
Hyde doesn't say anything. He just looks at her, pulls her close to him and kisses her. She fights it for a few seconds, before giving in and running her fingers through his hair, pulling him even closer to her.
After several seconds, Donna breaks the kiss and looks at him. "I see," she says with a smile, and leans in to kiss him again, but Jackie's sob's get progressively louder, breaking the mood. Donna gets up, looks at Hyde regretfully and heads toward the bedroom to console Jackie. Hyde gets up and combs his hands through his hair to lose the rumpled look just in case Eric gets back.
GUSES' TRUCK
"It's so clear to me now! I can't just go around using people as my sexual play things. You know what I mean Gus? I guess people feelings are way more important than those sexual urges!" Kelso says, clearing experiencing a revelation. Everything seems so clear to him now.
"You're good people son." Gus replies and smiles.
"You too man!" Kelso exclaims with a goofy looking grin on his face.
Gus stops the truck, then turns to Kelso, "Well, this is where you get off! And one more thing. Next time, take a bus. You're too pretty to hitch!"
"Oh oh, Thanks man!" Kelso exclaims, as he gets out of the truck. Gus starts leaving, and blows his horn twice in farewell.
"Bye Gus!" Kelso shouts, while waving goodbye to the departing truck.
In the distance, out of sight, Eric is shouting, Hey Fez! Fez!"
Eric comes into view from somewhere behind the cabin.
Upon seeing him Kelso exclaims, "Hey man!"
"Kelso you're here!" Eric says in surprise, and smiles.
"Yeah, I got a ride with the nicest guy!" Kelso replies with a look of remembrance. "Listen, I've had a lot of time to think on the way up here, and well I'm sorry!" he adds, looking contrite.
"Yeah, yeah I'm sorry. I should never come up here without you man!" Eric says in response, as he goes up to hug him.
They hug as Fez comes up to them in his underwear.
"I am a winter nymph! I love this snow! Hurray America!" Fez exclaims as he runs in between Kelso and Eric and falls on his face, passed out in the snow.
JACKIE'S CABIN
Jackie has her back to the door and is still crying. Donna is looking at her with pity on the couch. Hyde is just tossing longing glances at Donna, clearly wanting to pick up where they left off, but Donna is clearly preoccupied with Jackie. The door opens and Donna and Hyde all look to see if Eric has found Fez. Eric and Kelso enter carrying Fez, who is still passed out. Jackie turns around, tears still in her eyes, but she's curious about who's entered the cabin.
"Michael!" Jackie exclaims with a happy grin on her tearstained face.
"Jackie!" he exclaims, clearly ecstatic about the welcome he's received.
"Oh Michael!" she exclaims again, not taking her eyes off him for a second in fear that she may be imagining him.
Kelso throws Fez on the couch, before walking over and hugging Jackie.
"You walked all the way here in the driving snowstorm just to be with me didn't you Michael? And you would never, ever, do that for Pam Macy, would you?" Jackie says, evidently looking for reassurance from Kelso that he cares more about her than Pam Macy, or any other girl for that matter.
"No?" he replies in an uncertain tone, confused yet somewhat relieved by her tirade.
She grabs him by his shirt and adds somewhat seductively, "Lover!"
"Ah, you know it!" he exclaims, as he picks her up and carries her to the bedroom. Hyde closes the door behind them. The last thing he wants to see after all is a Jackie/Kelso makeout session.
Fez is still unconscious on the couch near Donna in his underwear. She looks uncomfortable due to his position on the couch. It's showing a little too much for comfort.
"Can one of you guys put his pants on?" she asks with a disgusted look on her face, glaring at both Eric and Hyde.
POINT PLACE, WISCONSIN
JANUARY 13TH, 1977
THURSDAY AFTERNOON
ERIC FORMAN'S BASEMENT
Eric, Hyde, and Fez are checking out a map.
"Alright guys, this is no sweat. If we leave right after school, we should make it to Jackie's ski cabin by like six o'clock." Eric informs the other two as he folds up the map.
"Man, I can't wait. A trip to my favorite place. Anywhere but here," replies Hyde. Should be nice to get out of this smelly basement for awhile…and maybe I'll get a shot with Donna…no wait, she'll probably be sharing a room with Forman! Dammit… He turns and glares at Eric for a second, which goes unnoticed by Eric, as he's still folding up the map.
Eric looks up and continues, in a vain attempt to sound cool, "And I'm betting that Alpine Valley is gonna give the Kid many make out opportunities with Donna this weekend. The Kid is in."
"What's with the whole 'Kid' thing?" Hyde asks, sarcastically while doing some serious eye rolling. Man, Forman can be pretty strange at times…I wonder what Donna finds so great about him…
"It's cool…" Eric begins cockily, but trails off. "It's not cool?" he continues, uncertain.
"Not cool, dorky." Fez is only too happy to point out.
Kelso chooses this moment to walk in with a huge smile on his face, clearly elated. "Guess who made out with Pam Macy behind the gym?" he giddily exclaims.
"Everyone," answers Hyde, never one to pass up a good Kelso burn. Why are we STILL hanging out with this guy…?
"No, me!" Kelso shouts, clearly confused by and completely missing Hyde's burn.
"Kelso, a lot of people hang out behind the gym." Eric replies tiredly.
Kelso, completely missing the point replies, "Yeah, that's what's so great about it. Everybody saw it!"
"Oh, that's great man! Yeah, because then everybody can tell Jackie you moron!" Hyde retorts bluntly, his voice laced with sarcasm. I swear when God was handing out brains, Kelso here must've missed the lineup…
"Yeah, and then she's gonna dump you and we won't be able to go up to her ski cabin!" Eric informs him, clearly angry at the prospect of missing a nice skiing weekend with Donna.
"She's never gonna find out." Kelso replies cockily.
However Jackie chooses this moment to walk in, and quickly disprove Kelso's theory by shouting at the top of her lungs, "You are a dog Michael, a dirty dirty dog!"
"What did I do?" Kelso asks, clearly trying to play innocent, and failing miserably.
"You kissed Pam Macy!" Fez unnecessarily points out.
Kelso shrieks in humiliation, as he realizes his 'innocent' act wasn't working with Jackie this time.
Jackie continues shouting at Kelso, and puts her hands on her hips. She was clearly very angry, "I trusted you Michael, and now all my friends are laughing at me. I can't even show my face in the third floor bathroom anymore! And that's the cool bathroom!"
"But, I…" Kelso begins, trying once again to defend himself, but gets cut off by a rather furious, Jackie.
"No Michael. We're through," she replies, calmly but furiously. She adds emphasis to this by moving her arm around in a gesture of finality.
"Okay, if that's the way you want it, we're through. And Monday, when we get back from that ski trip, it's over!" Kelso exclaims, frustrated. However he has no intentions on missing out on a free ski weekend.
"No Michael, no, no, no, no, no. You won't be skiing this weekend," responds Jackie, clearly admonishing him, fully intending to exclude him as punishment for his cheating ways.
"Oh, that's just great Jackie. Cancel the ski trip and disappoint all our friends!" Kelso exclaims, clearly in an effort to salvage the trip, mainly for his own benefit. I also don't want them all frogging me cuz they missed out on the weekend…I'd never hear the end of it…
"Oh no no no. We are still going." Jackie replies, while slapping both Eric and Fez's thighs, and thus ignoring Kelso. That'll teach him for kissing that slut Pam Macy…
"Well, they're surely not going without me. Right guys?" Kelso asks, looking at both Eric and Fez with a desperate look on his face. His question only meets with silence, and his look becomes more and more frantic.
"Oh, and did I mention my parents are not coming? So it'll be just us…" Jackie informs them, to seal the deal.
Eric turns to Kelso with open arms and exclaims, "So we'll see you Monday!"
FORMAN DRIVEWAY
Hyde is holding onto a rolled up sleeping bag as he walks over to Donna.
"Hey Donna man, I brought my double sleeping bag, you know?" Hyde remarks suggestively. Chances are she'll have some snide comment all ready for me, but what the hell....
"Great! Can Eric and I borrow it?" Donna responds sarcastically, and rolls her eyes. Somehow I had to know he'd try this...can't let it continue though, cuz Eric, my boyfriend, will get suspicious...she tries to convince herself, but as she's walking away, she can't help but look over her shoulder and smile at Hyde as he puts his sleeping bag into the truck of the Cruiser.
"Oh Hyde, watching you fail over and over… it is like Charlie Brown and the football!" Fez exclaims giddily.
"Yeah man, I just don't get it." Hyde responds, dejected, and more than a little disappointed.
"No, because Eric already has it!" Fez exclaims, laughing. Hyde looks over at him, clearly not amused; he stops laughing.
FORMAN KITCHEN
Eric walks into the kitchen with a sleeping bag, only to find Kelso waiting for him.
"Oh. Hey Kelso, um, look, I just wanna make sure we're cool 'cause this weekend is like really important for me and Donna…so thanks for understanding." Eric begins uncertainly.
"Yeah, I understand," Kelso begins dejected, then shouts, "I understand that we're not friends anymore!"
"Okay, look man, you brought this on yourself." Eric responds exasperated.
"I know I did, but that's no reason for me to suffer!" Kelso exclaims, failing to understand why someone as man pretty as himself should be excluded from anything. Especially an unsupervised ski weekend.
"No that is a great reason for you to suffer! What…? I'm going!" Eric responds, disgusted. He turns around and walks out to the driveway, leaving Kelso behind.
"Fine, go! See if I care! Oh, come on man! We're…" Kelso begins, trying to make it look like he doesn't care. Seeing that Eric isn't going to turn around he chases after him, only to find everyone else all packed up and ready to go. He stops in his tracks, apparently not believing they would actually leave without him.
FORMAN DRIVEWAY
"Well, here's your emergency roadside kit." Red says, while handing Eric a box full of stuff.
"Kitty litter?" Eric asks, looking confused, then upon Red's 'look', "Oh, kitty litter, right!"
"Um honey, I put some sandwiches in your duffel bag. Now, um, why do you need such a big bag of oregano?" Kitty asks, looking at their luggage through the back window of the Cruiser.
"Donna's Italian?…" Eric begins nervously, by way of explanation, but trails off. This causes Kitty to start laughing, and Eric follows her around the car. He stops and heads toward the driver's side door.
"Okay, stay warm!" Kitty admonishes in her protective motherly way, as Eric starts the car.
"Okay, I see what's going on! You're not really going skiing! This is all just a gag! You're just trying to get me all worked up so you can go: 'Oh just kidding buddy!' Yeah, you got me. That's a nice burn!" Kelso exclaims, obviously still not willing to believe that they were actually leaving him behind.
"It sure is… bye-bye." Eric responds mockingly. Why do we still hang out with this guy...seriously? Eric gets into the car and starts backing out of the driveway. Red and Kitty wave to the departing car.
"Oh, he's not going! He'll be back! Yup, any second now… he's probably just going around the block. I gotta hand it to him. He got me there! That's a major burn! Yup… There he is!" the ever hopeful Kelso continues to Red and Kitty, who look upon him with a combination of pity for his plight, and annoyance at his stupidity. They turn and look at each other, then turn back toward the house, leaving Kelso alone in the driveway.
Kelso looks down the street and sees a car turning the corner. Thinking that it's Eric and the gang..."I knew it!" Then upon realising it's not them, "Uh, no, that's not him." Even after this, he continues looking down the street, hoping that Eric will come back for him.
VISTA CRUISER
"I have never seen snow before! It is so beautiful!" Fez exclaims, looking out the window in awe.
"Do you know what the best part of this whole trip is? That Michael is not here! He'd just be sitting here, telling me how cute I look in my fur-trimmed coat. I know I look cute, I don't need him here for that." Jackie vents.
Hyde, meanwhile is looking through the box of things Red gave Eric, "Forman man, what's all this crap that Red gave you?" What the hell do we need all this crap for?
Eric glances over with a look of annoyance on his face, "I don't know, he's obsessed with kitty litter. I think he might be going insane."
The car skids and everyone screams until the car suddenly stops...then silence...
"Far out!" Hyde exclaims, clearly impressed.
"What the hell was that?" Donna asks in annoyance.
"I don't know, I guess we hit some ice." replies Eric, by way of explanation. He proceeds to step on the gas, but the car won't move as its tires are stuck in the snow. "Oh great, we stuck," he explains and throws up his hands in frustration.
Everyone except Jackie gets out of the car to see how badly it's stuck.
Fez comes around the car cradling a snowball in his hands. "Look, I made my first snow ball! I love snow so much my fingers are numb with joy!" he exclaims gleefully.
"That's frostbite Fez." Donna replies with annoyance.
"How rude!" Fez exclaims, and throws down the snowball with anger. "I hate your white men's winter!"
"Get in the car Fez, get in the car." Donna tells him. Fez gets in the car.
"Eric, do something!" Jackie frustratedly exclaims.
"Yeah man, stop goofing around!" adds Hyde. Man, it's cold out here...and look at Donna...she must be freezing...come on Forman, fix this damn car already...
Donna glances behind her at Eric and Hyde before getting back into the car.
Hyde tries to help Eric by handing him the roadside kit. "Wow, it's freezing!" he tosses over his shoulder as he climbs back into the car as well, leaving Eric alone in the snow.
VISTA CRUISER, LATER
Eric is still trying to get the car moving again out in the snow.
"This is awful! We're all going to die! And I love Michael!" Jackie exclaims, somewhat melodramatically.
"Shut up!" Hyde, Donna, and Fez exclaim. They are clearly starting to get annoyed.
Outside...
"Okay, think Eric, think! Why kitty litter?" Eric says, tapping his feet and trying to concentrate.
All of a sudden, Red's face appears in the night sky.
"Use the gum Eric." Red's face advises.
"Dad, what are you doing here?" asks Eric, clearly confused by his presence.
"I'm not here, you're imagining me. Now's who's insane mister smart mouth?" Red's face snaps.
"I guess I am." replies Eric, dejectedly. Of all the people I could conjure up, why did it have to be him...?
"Use the gum to stick the candle in the can. The candle heats the can which melts the snow behind the tire. Then pour on the kitty litter for traction. Now you think you can handle that?" Red's face asks, clearly annoyed now.
"Yes sir." Eric replies, military style.
"Good, because you don't want me back out here. I may be a figment of your imagination, but I'm still freezing my ass off." Red's face snaps, and shivers.
THE BASEMENT
Kelso is sitting alone as Kitty comes down the stairs.
"Michael, what are you doing down here?" she asks as she sits down beside him on the couch.
"You know what? I think Eric actually went. What a jerk!" Kelso responds, astonished and hurt that his friends actually left without him.
"Well, why don't you just go to Jackie's cabin and talk to him?" Kitty advises him.
"I can't. I don't have a car, and besides, Jackie hates me forever because I kissed Pam Macy." Kelso explains, clearly distressed.
"You know, when Mr. Forman and I were dating., I saw him kissing a girl in a movie theatre once and I forgave him."
Kitty informs him.
"You forgave him for kissing another girl?" Kelso asks, somewhat surprised.
"Yes sir. I mean it wasn't, it wasn't so much kissing as it was a groping, sloppy, pawing, nibbling nightmare." Kitty exclaims, clearly not over the incident she just described. Then she begins to laugh in that uncomfortable way of hers.
"But, but you forgave him!" Kelso exclaims, relieved.
"Yeah, I forgave the bastard!" Kitty responds, unenthusiastically.
"Cool!" Kelso replies. He gets up and leaves, intent on getting to the ski cabin to talk to Jackie.
A TRUCK
A truck stops and Kelso gets in. The trucker looks at him with 'interest'.
"Well, hello there!" Gus, the trucker greets, somewhat suggestively.
"Hey, thanks for stopping. Are you going all the way to Alpine Valley?" Kelso asks, just glad that someone actually stopped.
"Oh, I'm going… wherever you're going!" Gus responds, clearly coming on to Kelso.
"Wow, that's lucky!" Kelso exclaims, completely ignorant of the come on tone Gus is using with him.
Gus starts the truck and it begins to move. "So, did it hurt?" Gus asks, putting the moves on.
"What?" Kelso asks, confused.
"When you fell down from heaven!" Gus exclaims with a licentious grin.
"No, I'm fine!" Kelso responds dumbly.
JACKIE'S CABIN
Everyone finally arrives...a little cold...a lot annoyed, but safe.
"Alright! We made it!" Donna exclaims as she walks into the cabin.
Eric follows, snuggling deeper into his coat. "Yeah, just in time, that storm is getting nasty."
"I am so cold! The snow has stolen my manhood!" Fez pouts in a childlike way, while wrapping his arms around himself for warmth.
Jackie looks toward Donna and Eric. "Okay, there's only one bedroom. It was gonna be for Michael and I but since our love is… dead, you two should take it." she informs them, barely containing her tears.
"Alright! You wanna go check out our room?" Eric says excitedly.
"Sure" Donna responds less enthusically, and shrugs her shoulders. I know I should be thrilled that Eric and I will have some privacy, but I just can't help thinking about what Hyde must think...I really hafta stop doing this to myself...
Eric heads over to the bedroom thrilled, Donna follows somewhat morosely, and tosses a somewhat apologetic look to Hyde over her shoulder as she walks through the bedroom door.
"Where are you guys going? I thought we were gonnna hang…" Hyde begins frustrated, but trails off. What was with the look Donna gave me before following Forman into the bedroom? It kinda looked like she was reluctant to go...
Fez collaspes onto the floor as Jackie sits down on the couch.
"I am freezing! The winter in my country is seventy degrees! We must hold each other for warmth!" Fez pouts and grabs onto Jackie's leg.
"Stop touching me!" the brunette cheerleader hisses.
He lets her leg go and sits down on the carpet, alone. "Then I am going to die!" he exclaims and brings his arm up to his forehead in a mock dramatic gesture.
"Okay Fez… oh! Amaretto!" Hyde replies. This oughta shut him up...I'm getting pretty damn tired of his whining... It's bad enough that Donna's in the bedroom with Forman, while I sit out here...I don't even wanna think about what must be going on in there...
Hyde starts rifling through the liquor cabinet, looking for the amaretto. Finally he finds some, takes it out of the cabinet and opens it. "You know what man? This will warm you right up. Take a sip of that!" He hands over the bottle, and Fez takes a sip.
"Yum, liquid candy!" Fez exclaims, clearly feeling better now. He starts chugging it right out of the bottle. Hyde looks at him in amazement and wonder.
GUSES' TRUCK
Kelso is eating a hamburger and wearing a hat that says 'Truckers Make The Best Lovers".
"Thanks for the burger. Oh, and the hat!" he says, and points to the hat before continuing to eat the hamburger.
Well I just like to see that smile. See you coming down about your friend Eric." Gus replies with sympathy.
"Well, it's just… You know, he's always been there for me. Like, when people used to call me dumb, he'd say: 'Hey, he's not as dumb as you think!' People don't like to talk about it, but guy to guy relationships are pretty special, you know?" Kelso says, not even realizing how he comment may be interpreted.
"They can be the most beautiful thing in the world!" Gus exclaims with a look of longing and remembrance on his face.
"I don't know why I do this stuff! It's just like… I get these urges, you know, and I can't control them!" Kelso adds emphatically.
"Shoot! I wrote that country song!" Gus replies as he puts a tape into the tape player.
"I've been cheated, been mistreated! When will I be loved?" a womans voice sings from the tape, as Gus sings along.
THE BEDROOM IN THE CABIN
Eric and Donna are on the bed making out. From the other room, we hear some music, and what sounds like Jackie crying. They break the kiss.
"Okay, that's probably just Jackie crying!" Eric says in response to the sobs. I wish Jackie would just stop crying...she's kinda ruining the mood here...
"Yeah." Donna replies. Why doesn't someone comfort her already? Her sobs are getting sort of annoying, not to mention distracting...not that being distracted is necessarily a bad thing...especially since I do feel kinda uncomfortable laying here making out with Eric...and to think Hyde is just outside...stop that, you're making out with your BOYFRIEND, now concentrate...
Eric leans in, and they continue kissing. The crying keeps on coming and gets louder, if that's even possible. Donna breaks the kiss.
"Alright, alright, that's too much! Can you please go out there and break that record?" Donna replies disgustedly. Why aren't Hyde or Fez comforting her ALREADY...besides, she's crying over Kelso of all people...a guy who cheats on her with every opportunity, and is always saying how he's breaking up with her... Though I am sorta glad for the distraction since I can't seem to put Hyde outta my mind, and that's definitely NOT a good sign...especially since I'm supposed to be happy with Eric and everything...we even have our OWN room for Christ's sake...
Eric gets up and goes out.
THE LIVING ROOM IN THE CABIN
Hyde is on the armchair reading comics, while Jackie is sitting on the couch crying.
"What's going on?" Eric asks Hyde, and glances toward the weeping cheerleader.
Hyde's laughing and looks up from his magazine, "Ha-ha, "Spy versus Spy" man, they kill me!"
"No, with her!" Eric says and gestures in Jackie's direction.
"She seems upset or something." Hyde replies distractedly.
"Okay look, where's Fez?" asks Eric, who's becoming pretty irritated at this point.
Eric stops the record as Donna comes out of the bedroom and goes over to comfort Jackie.
"Fez? Oh, well, he killed that entire bottle of Amaretto, and then he ran outside saying he had to make a snow angel. But he was in his underwear." Hyde remarks with a smirk as he tosses a quick glance in Donna's direction. Jackie's crying may have been kinda annoying, but it did succeed in getting Donna and Forman out of that bedroom...just the thought of what they were probably doing in there turns my stomach...
"Okay look, either you need to go get Fez or console Jackie." Eric informs him with a look of resignation. Geez, can't leave these people alone for a few minutes without everything getting out of hand...and I hope he goes after Fez cuz I don't wanna go out in the cold, and I REALLY don't want him and Donna alone together after the whole Christmas gift thing...never did find out anything, even though I tried to ask everyone...even the prissy cheerleader kept her mouth shut...amazing...
"Er, I'll take Donna." Hyde replies. Oh no, now I've gone and let the cat outta the bag...Eric really will give me the boot in the ass now...calm down man, stay Zen...just act like you never said it, maybe he didn't even notice...ah dammit, who am I kidding?
"Jackie." Eric tells him sternly, and gives him the 'don't touch my girlfriend or i'll kick your ass' look. Well so long as he's comforting Jackie, he won't be alone with Donna, and I guess someone does have to go after Fez...he did leave in his underwear after all...what a weird weird guy...
"Jackie. Yeah, Jackie." Hyde responds, acting all innocent. He gestures in the direction of the sobbing mess on the couch, which Donna is attempting to comfort.
Eric heads out to look for Fez. Hyde throws his magazine down on a cushion, and takes a final swig out of his beer can. Then he goes and sits between Donna and Jackie. He tosses a quick look in Donna's direction before turning to Jackie who hugs him amidst her sobbing.
"Okay, oh, oh, okay, yeah okay, now I can see you're upset, ah ha, ah ha." he says in a weak attempt to comfort her, while rubbing her back. He pulls away and looks at her. "Now listen alright, if it's any consolation, Pam Macy would give it up to anybody." he adds, somewhat insensitively. I know I probably sound like a jerk right about now, but this will probably be the only chance I have to get Donna alone this weekend, and we really need to 'talk'...
Jackie starts crying again in earnest, while getting up and heading to the bedroom.
Hyde turns to Donna and puts his arm around her shoulders. "Oh, what do you know, we're all alone." he replies, rather insensitive to Jackie's plight. Ah dammit! Why did I have to say it like that...I know she's only gonna be mad about the way I handled Jackie...not the best way to start this conversation...stupid, stupid...
Donna gets up and starts screaming at him, "God Hyde, you can be such a jerk, you know that? You could have been more sensitive to Jackie's feelings, ya know? She just broke up with her boyfriend, who cheated on her! I mean, she needs our support right now, and what do you do? You kick her while she's already down!" She tosses him a dirty look and scowls at him. I mean, sometimes he can be so sweet...but then he has to go and ruin it by acting like an ass...
"Donna, I am sorry that I acted the way I did. I just thought we could use the time alone. We need to talk and since we've been here you've been locked in that bedroom with Forman. I'll apologize to Jackie later, but I think we have more pressing issues to discuss." Hyde informs her. Smooth man...that oughta calm her down. Hopefully we can clear some stuff up before Forman shows up with Fez now...
"Why would we need to be alone, Hyde? And what could we possibly need to discuss? I thought we had this conversation already, and had decided it was best to stay friends..." Donna asks defensively. Just what does he plan on doing here? I thought he would have done something after I got him that candle for Christmas, but nothing... What does he think he's doing now...?
Hyde doesn't say anything. He just looks at her, pulls her close to him and kisses her. She fights it for a few seconds, before giving in and running her fingers through his hair, pulling him even closer to her.
After several seconds, Donna breaks the kiss and looks at him. "I see," she says with a smile, and leans in to kiss him again, but Jackie's sob's get progressively louder, breaking the mood. Donna gets up, looks at Hyde regretfully and heads toward the bedroom to console Jackie. Hyde gets up and combs his hands through his hair to lose the rumpled look just in case Eric gets back.
GUSES' TRUCK
"It's so clear to me now! I can't just go around using people as my sexual play things. You know what I mean Gus? I guess people feelings are way more important than those sexual urges!" Kelso says, clearing experiencing a revelation. Everything seems so clear to him now.
"You're good people son." Gus replies and smiles.
"You too man!" Kelso exclaims with a goofy looking grin on his face.
Gus stops the truck, then turns to Kelso, "Well, this is where you get off! And one more thing. Next time, take a bus. You're too pretty to hitch!"
"Oh oh, Thanks man!" Kelso exclaims, as he gets out of the truck. Gus starts leaving, and blows his horn twice in farewell.
"Bye Gus!" Kelso shouts, while waving goodbye to the departing truck.
In the distance, out of sight, Eric is shouting, Hey Fez! Fez!"
Eric comes into view from somewhere behind the cabin.
Upon seeing him Kelso exclaims, "Hey man!"
"Kelso you're here!" Eric says in surprise, and smiles.
"Yeah, I got a ride with the nicest guy!" Kelso replies with a look of remembrance. "Listen, I've had a lot of time to think on the way up here, and well I'm sorry!" he adds, looking contrite.
"Yeah, yeah I'm sorry. I should never come up here without you man!" Eric says in response, as he goes up to hug him.
They hug as Fez comes up to them in his underwear.
"I am a winter nymph! I love this snow! Hurray America!" Fez exclaims as he runs in between Kelso and Eric and falls on his face, passed out in the snow.
JACKIE'S CABIN
Jackie has her back to the door and is still crying. Donna is looking at her with pity on the couch. Hyde is just tossing longing glances at Donna, clearly wanting to pick up where they left off, but Donna is clearly preoccupied with Jackie. The door opens and Donna and Hyde all look to see if Eric has found Fez. Eric and Kelso enter carrying Fez, who is still passed out. Jackie turns around, tears still in her eyes, but she's curious about who's entered the cabin.
"Michael!" Jackie exclaims with a happy grin on her tearstained face.
"Jackie!" he exclaims, clearly ecstatic about the welcome he's received.
"Oh Michael!" she exclaims again, not taking her eyes off him for a second in fear that she may be imagining him.
Kelso throws Fez on the couch, before walking over and hugging Jackie.
"You walked all the way here in the driving snowstorm just to be with me didn't you Michael? And you would never, ever, do that for Pam Macy, would you?" Jackie says, evidently looking for reassurance from Kelso that he cares more about her than Pam Macy, or any other girl for that matter.
"No?" he replies in an uncertain tone, confused yet somewhat relieved by her tirade.
She grabs him by his shirt and adds somewhat seductively, "Lover!"
"Ah, you know it!" he exclaims, as he picks her up and carries her to the bedroom. Hyde closes the door behind them. The last thing he wants to see after all is a Jackie/Kelso makeout session.
Fez is still unconscious on the couch near Donna in his underwear. She looks uncomfortable due to his position on the couch. It's showing a little too much for comfort.
"Can one of you guys put his pants on?" she asks with a disgusted look on her face, glaring at both Eric and Hyde.
