A/n: Howdy!! Once again, it is I, The Evil Penguin. Thanks to all of you who reviewed the last chapter of this…it's nice to know y'all still like this piece of random insanity. I bet you though I was dead there for awhile, didn't you? Actually, I was abducted by aliens while in Roswell, NM. Haha…Anyway, for now I'm alternating between updating this and Harry Potter and the Alien Abduction, a XF/HP humor crossover I'm writing on my other pen name, Samantha J Mulder….READ IT!!! Alright…I'm done rambling now…
Karaoke: The Ultimate Unexplained Phenomenon
"Karaoke should be an Olympic event. I mean, think about it, who better to deserve honor than people who vouleentarily get up in front of crowds and make fools of themselves?" ~Me and a friend
Ch. 11: When You've Got It, Flaunt It!
Mulder, Scully and Skinner sat in shock at Langly's performance, thinking it couldn't get any stranger than that. Boy were they ever wrong. The lights went down, a spotlight came on and music started. Out of the black and into the spotlight emerged AD Kersh dressed in a skimpy, frilly, pink Vegas showgirl get-up. He smiled sweetly and began to sing in a thick Swedish accent.
"When you've got it, flaunt it
step right up and strut your stuff
People tell you modesty's a virture
But in the theater modesty can hurt you
When you've got, flaunt it
Show you assets, let them know you're proud
Your goodies you must push
Stick your chest out, shake your tush
When you've got it, shout it out loud!"
Kersh stopped singing, said, "Now Kersh dance!" and danced-show girl style-until the next verse started.
"When you've got it, show it
Put your hidden treasures on display
Violinists love to play an E-string
But audiences really love a G-string!
When you've got it, shout it
Let the whole world hear what your about!
Clothes may make the man
All a girl needs is a tan
When you've got it, let it hang out!"
Once again, Kersh stopped singing and said, "Remember when Kersh dance?"
Mulder, Scully and Skinner chorused, "Yeah…"
"Kersh dance again!"
And he did until the next verse…
"When I was just a little girl in Sweden
My thoughtful mother gave me this advice:
If nature blesses you from top to bottom
Show that top to bottom don't think twice!
Now Kersh belt!
Don't think twice…!
When you've got it, share it
Let the public feast upon your charms
People say that being prim is proper
But ev'ry showgirl knows that prim will stop her!
When you've got it, give it
Don't be selfish give it all away!
Don't be shy be bold 'n' cute
Show the boys your birthday suit
When you've got it, if you've got it
Once you got it…
Shout of hooray!!!!"
Kersh smiled at the audience, took bow and prance off the stage. Mulder, Scully and Skinner were left once again flabbergasted.
Scully was speechless. She looked over at Mulder who was staring at the stage in disbelief. Skinner looked at them and muttered, "I…was that…did he…"
Mulder glanced at Scully, "Talk about unexplained phenomena…"
A/n: Just so y'all know, I was in hysterics the entire time I was writing this chapter. I had wanted to do something crazy with Kersh but I didn't know what until I happen to be listening to my Producers soundtrack….Anyway, don't think I'm done yet! I just realized that I haven't done our deal pal John Dogget yet. So guess who's next? Yup. Agent Dogget himself. Until then..REVIEW!! And go read "Harry Potter and the Alien Abduction"
~The Evil Penguin
"I control the universe and all who dwell within it!!"
And now, one of my muses will read the disclaimer. *Grabs Reilly by the shirt collar as muses try to escape* Oh no you don't! *Shoves disclaimer into her hands* Read!
Reilly: The X-Files belongs to Chris Carter and the song, "When
You've Got It, Flaunt" is from the Producers and belongs to Mel Brooks. The
Evil Penguin owns nothing but a really warped sense of humor and much insanity….
