FEBRUARY 13TH, 1977
SUNDAY AFTERNOON
ERIC FORMAN'S BASEMENT
Eric is laying down the couch watching 'Gilligan's Island'. Donna walks in and sits on his stomach.
"Oh, get off me you moose!" Eric exclaims, as he looks up at her in irritation.
Donna replies with humour and sarcasm, "Oh, God Eric, I didn't even see you sitting there, you should really think about bulking up!"
Eric responds by looking at her for a few seconds, before beginning to tickle her. "We'll see who should think of bulking up!"
They start to wrestle on the couch before finally falling to the floor. Donna lands on top of Eric. She turns to the TV, and then back to Eric with a question in her eyes, "What are you watching?" Just how does Eric find these programs anyway?
Before Eric can reply, Hyde, Fez, and Kelso walk in.
"Hey, Gilligan is on!" Fez shouts gleefully, looking at the TV, and then upon seeing Donna and Eric, "What are you doing on the floor?"
Donna and Eric decide to get up off the floor before they are asked any more questions.
"Yeah, why don't you guys get a room?" Hyde adds sarcastically, tosses a fleeting jealous look in Eric direction, and glancing at Donna wistfully. God…I swear if I have to see much more of this, I'm gonna be sick…
"We have a room Hyde, it's called my basement." Eric counters, slightly angry. What's with him lately? I mean, both he and Donna have been a little too 'chummy' lately as it is, and Donna has been getting increasingly distant…hmmm…Valentines Day's coming up…maybe I should give her my class ring…that should end all this insecurity and strange behaviour…I mean, I wanna be with Donna, and she wants to be with me, right?
Kelso sits between Eric and Donna, which prompts Donna to get up to leave.
"Well, I'm going home. Bye guys!" Donna says breezily, turns and glances first at Eric, then at Hyde before heading out the door. Geez…the tension in here is thick enough to cut with a knife…might be best to leave while the leaving's good…I think I know who I really wanna be with, but he won't talk to me…She glances again in Hyde's direction, trying to read his thoughts. I wish I knew what he's been thinking since the ski trip…that would make the decision easier somewhat, but he hasn't talked to me…hey, maybe that's what the 'studying' at the library is about…hmmm…I mean, it is past time we talked…And I know I shouldn't be leading Eric on if I wanna be with Hyde, but what if I'm wrong about this…
"Oh, so Donna don't forget. I'll see you tomorrow night at the library right?" Hyde inquires. Since she still hasn't talked to me about what happened on the ski trip, I guess I'll have to be the one to bring it up…though she does seem to be stuck on Forman now, her actions sometimes make me wonder though…if I don't ask, I'll never know, and all this suspense and drama is driving me nuts…besides I have a feeling if I don't make a move now, she'll choose Forman and I'll never have another chance…though I don't relish the thought of having Forman kick my ass…who am I kidding, I could kick his ass any day of the week, but I wouldn't cause I know in this case, he'd be justified…
"Yeah right." Donna tosses over her shoulder as she opens the door to leave. So, he did bring it up again…hmmm…I do agree that we can't continue like this…it's festering between all of us, poisoning everything…maybe this will finally make everything clear and things can get back to normal around here…
Eric exclaims eagerly, "I'll walk you home!" This is the best chance I have to ask her out for a romantic Valentines dinner so I can give her my class ring…saving our relationship and preventing me from having to worry about Hyde swooping in and stealing her…I could be totally off base there, but it has been eating at me for a while…the little looks and everything…
Kelso, once again completely oblivious turns to Eric and points out, "She lives right next door, man."
"Yeah." Eric replies flippantly. He jumps off the couch and hits Kelso in the head. Kelso, you are so the king…that's for almost blowing my plan, stupid… He turns and runs after Donna, who's already left the basement. He gets outside, and catches her at the top of the stairs. "Donna!" She turns around and comes back downstairs to see what he wanted.
"Uh, about tomorrow night, I was thinking that maybe you and I could go out to dinner, for Valentine's Day." Eric asks falteringly. God I hope this works…
"Oh, Hyde asked me to study at the library, so…" Donna begins to reply, but gets cut off.
"I mean, you can do that anytime, right?" Eric counters. C'mon Donna…I mean, it's the library…who wants to spend Valentines Day there…I wanna take you out for a nice romantic dinner…that's gotta be better…right?
"Um, yeah, yeah, I'd love to go!" Donna replies uncertainly. I wonder what he's up to here…though a nice dinner does sound good…I mean, I know I need to talk to Hyde, but maybe it would be better if I talked to Eric first…hell, I don't know what to think anymore…
"It's great, uh, so then it's a, it's a date." Eric replies with a touch of uncertainty of his own. Oh, I hope this works…she didn't seem too thrilled about it, but she did agree to go…guess time will tell…
"Our first." Donna replies. And maybe our last…
"Yeah… if you don't count all the times I mauled you." Eric continues. Did I really just say that?
"Yeah. Um, which I don't, so…" Now, why did he have to go and bring that up…?
Eric leans in and is about to kiss Donna, who's still standing there with a look of confusion on her face when Jackie comes down the stairs, effectively interrupting the scene. She lets out a cheery, yet sly sounding, "Hey guys!", and then just stares at the two of them for a few seconds. "So, what's going on?" she continues in the same tone.
Donna, taking the chance to escape lets out a quick, "I'll talk to you guys later," before she runs off.
After she leaves, Eric and Jackie turn and walk back into the basement.
"So Eric, what were you and Donna talking all hot and heavy about?" Jackie inquires, continuing her earlier interrogation. Yeah, just what were you two up to? C'mon spill…I'm overdue for some juicy gossip…
"Your hair." Eric retorts. There, that oughta shut her up for a change…cheerleaders…
"Really?" Jackie counters, surprised. Hmm…maybe I'm actually doing this group good for a change…they're starting to recognize my excellent fashion sense…
Eric chooses this moment to drop the façade, as well as let the bubble that is Jackie's ego burst. "No. We're going out to dinner tomorrow night for Valentine's day."
Before Jackie has a chance to reply, Hyde turns to him with a combination of frustration, jealousy and a wee bit of anger and counters with, "Uh, no, no, no. Donna and I are going to the library to study tomorrow night." Just what are you up to here Forman?! You know that Donna and I were supposed to go to the library, we were just talking about it…you know, this frickin sucks man…I finally get the courage up to talk to her, and you just swoop in and do this…Well, I guess if didn't want to go to dinner with Forman, she would have turned him down…so I guess it's over…I waited too long, and she's made her choice…guess I'll just have to live with it…
Jackie, not helping Hyde's current state of mind, turns to him and says, "On Valentine's day? Who studies on Valentine's day?"
"Well, I didn't know it was Valentine's Day when I made the date… to study." Hyde replies. Yeah, good cover man…dammit! Should've taken her someplace nice instead of going to the library of all places…then maybe she wouldn't have hopped at the chance for a fancy dinner with Forman…man, life sucks…
"Well, I'm sure she just forgot about you." Eric replies, and looks at him with a 'smile'. Man, if Donna wanted to go with you to the library, she would've gone…looks like I was right to be insecure about the two of them, but she chose me, even after she already agreed to go to the library with Hyde…that must mean something…I've decided…I'm gonna give her my ring over dinner…
Hyde looks at him exasperated before belting out, "We just talked about it a minute ago!" Quit giving me that snide look man…makes me wanna knock it right off your face…
"Women, you know?" Eric begins, and shrugs. Then he continues, "I mean. Anyway, I'm gonna give Donna my class ring." He opens the ring box and shows them the ring. See Hyde? She'll be my girlfriend now, this'll blow over and things can get back to normal around here…oh, and did I forget to say, I won?
Jackie leans over and gazes at the ring. She puts her hand to her chest in a gesture of appreciation and utters a simple, "Oh!" How romantic…I wish Michael would give me a ring like this…I wonder what Donna will think though…she stills seems pretty hung up on Hyde, though I still can't get her to tell me anything…
Kelso jumps in with a rather clueless, "No, forget rings! You wanna score with Donna, use my super Funk eight track." Why did you have go and get this for Donna man! Don't you know it's only gonna make Jackie want one? And I spent just my last $10 on a new remote control car…
Eric chooses this moment to drive his point home. "Anyway, I figured it's time to make it official. I mean she's just been waiting for any jerk to swoop down on her."
"And you're that jerk," retorts Hyde with both sarcasm and venom. You really know how to rub it in don't ya, Forman? If you only knew how much I wanted to frog you right now…
"Well, better me than some other jerk." Eric tosses over his shoulder, while looking over at Fez.
Fez looks at him and leaps to his own immediate defense. He effectively brings the issue into the open with a flippant, "Why are you looking at me, Hyde's the other jerk!"
THE BASEMENT"So, Eric and Donna are going out Saturday night. That means we have no wheels!" Kelso whines, looking at Jackie.
Inspiration strikes Jackie, "Well, I can borrow my dad's car!"
"Oooh, it's a Lincoln. Leather…" Kelso begins and tosses Fez and Hyde a conspiratorial look before glancing back in his girlfriend's direction and saying, "Oh, you know what we should do? We should ditch Hyde and Fez and make out in the backseat!" Yeah Jackie, c'mon let's ditch these guys and do it!
"You said that out loud." Fez informs him pointedly, and rolls his eyes.
"Yeah, I don't care." Kelso replies flippantly. Naw, I don't care at all…I just wanna do it…again…
"Hey, yeah, I know, we could go shopping for clogs! Pick me up at seven!" Jackie exclaims, ignoring his idea completely before walking out the door and going home. If Michael thinks we're gonna 'prove our love' every time we get a chance, he's sadly mistaken…I'm the man…
"Yeah, well, have fun man, I'm out." Hyde immediately adds. Clog shopping on a Saturday night…how lame…and the possibility of watching them make out…turns my stomach just thinking about it…Wouldn't be in this predicament if Forman hadn't snaked me outta my date with Donna…
"Oh, we won't be shopping. We'll be doing it, again! 'Cause that's what we do! We do it!" Kelso exclaims excitedly while bouncing on the couch in his exuberance. I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do it!
"Then I'm in!" chimes Fez, with a goofy grin on his face.
Kelso looks at him sternly and replies, "Uh, um, no, you're not invited Fez." Where would he get the idea that he was invited? Funny little foreign man…
"Oh, then I'm out." Fez responds pouting, his shoulders slumped.
"Well, later." Kelso tosses over his shoulder as he jumps up and leaves.
"Well, it looks like it's just you and me little buddy." Fez says as he turns to Hyde, who's still sitting in his chair, staring off into space, a look of annoyance on his face.
"Yeah Fez, which is really wrong man, 'cause I had plans with Donna until Forman snaked me." Hyde replies, moping. The dill hole…
"Who would've thought she would rather go to a nice restaurant than a smelly old library?" Fez replies, sarcastically joking.
Hyde just stands there with an upset and dejected look on his face and doesn't say a word. Fez tries to get a response out of him by lightly frogging him in the arm, but Hyde doesn't so much as flinch.
"You will laugh later." Fez adds sagely, as he turns and starts walking up the stairs.
FORMAN KITCHENRed walks in and holds the door for someone to come through it.
Kitty is standing around in anticipation and giddily exclaims, "So, let me see!"
"Go ahead, show your mother!" Red shouts to the person just outside the door.
Eric walks in grinning, wearing a brown dress jacket.
"Oh my Gosh! That is snazzy. That is a snazzy jacket!" Kitty gushes, and walks up to get a closer look.
"Damn good thing I went with him. He wanted to buy a leisure suit!" Red replies in disbelief and rolls his eyes. Damn right! Leisure suits are for pansies…
"Oh, come on dad, leisure suits are cool. Everybody wears them!" counters Eric. Yeah, I had my eye on a nice blue one too…though I do kinda like this jacket, as I'm sure Donna will…
"Leisure suits are for dumbasses. Believe me!" Red responds with finality, amidst some serious eye rolling. You would have to insist that leisure suits are cool, wouldn't ya son?
Bob and Midge walk into the kitchen. Bob is wearing a bad looking leisure suit. He takes a look at Eric in his new jacket and greets him with, "Hey there Eric! Oh, looking sharp for your big date uh?"
"Oh, who knew our two little tikes will grow up to be dating!" Midge adds, all excited and bubbly.
"Oh, no, I have an idea! Let's have dinner tomorrow night, just the parents." Kitty begins in invitation, then inspiration strikes, "Oh, I'll fondue!" It'll be nice to have company over…gives Red less of a chance to be such an old grump…I could use the break…
"Oh yeah, and that will give us a chance to talk about their future." Midge adds mockingly.
Kitty continues the façade by looking at Eric and winking, "Oh right, we can plan a big wedding!" Hell, what fun are kids if you can't get a rise out of them once in a while…this is fun!
"I know you're joking, but could you please stop?" Eric blurts out, obviously uncomfortable with the recent turn of the conversation. Mom, do you really have to make such a big deal out of stuff like this all the time…? Though on the other hand, it shows that even they think Donna and I should be together…if both of our parents think so, than it must be true, mustn't it…?
The parents all start talking at the same time about 'wedding plans'. This brings Eric out of his thoughts and makes him uncomfortable enough to contemplate bolting right out of the kitchen.
JACKIE'S CAR"I don't believe you Michael!" Jackie shrieks, keeping her eyes on the road rather than turning to Kelso in the drivers seat. I can't believe the nerve of this guy at times…I mean, I love him and all, but this was just too much!
"What?" Kelso asks dumbly. God, what could Jackie be so mad about 'this' time…
Jackie rolls her eyes at his ignorance before exclaiming shrilly, "You can't just maul me in front of my father!" Man, I'm in love with a doofus…I mean, how could he not see how upset my father was when he walked in to that?!
Kelso makes a weak attempt at defending himself, "He didn't even notice!" Well, he didn't…Jackie's just imagining stuff again…must be the distraction of my hunkalicious bod…I'm so hot…oh yeah!
"He yelled at you to stop it." Jackie informs him irritated. How on earth could he have misinterpreted that? Then again, it is Michael we're talking about here…
Realization finally dawns over Kelso at this point, and he exclaims in understanding, "Oh, I thought he was talking to you!" He was looking right at her…he could've been talking to her, couldn't he? I mean, she was pretty into it so…
"Okay, Michael, we have a problem. Ever since we, we…" Jackie begins, before faltering. How can I explain this to Michael so he'll understand? Ever since we 'proved our love' to each other, he's been pawing at me everywhere we go…and that's just not cool…
"Did it!" Kelso exclaims excitedly, and gives her a thumbs up. Yeah! We did it! And we're gonna do it again tonight, cause she just can't get enough of my hot bod. I mean, she called me her 'Apollo Rocket of Love', that has to mean something right?
Jackie tosses him and irritated and slightly disgusted look, then counters, "Can you please use a more beautiful term?" I mean, think about it…how romantic does 'Do it' really sound? Does he actually think that I find that term sexy? Geez…
Kelso just looks at her, clueless of what a 'better' term might be. "Like what?" I mean, what could possibly cooler sounding than 'Do it' anyway?! Knowing Jackie it'll be some term relating to her stuffed animals or something…
"Well, like proved our love." Jackie replies primly. Yeah, 'proved our love' does sound much better…guess it wasn't just one of those things that sounds good in your head, but when it comes out sounds ridiculous… 'Do it'…just who does he think he's kidding with that term anyway?
"Yeah, but did it sounds so much cooler." Kelso counters, slightly frustrated. Only Jackie would think of calling 'doing it' 'proving our love'…how girly sounding…I mean, why say 'proving our love' when you could say 'doing it'?
Jackie huffs in frustration and shouts, "Okay, just take me to the mall!" For the moment, she's given up on having any sort of civilized conversation with him. Man, he just keeps showing me how much more of a doofus he can be…how frustrating…it's useless trying to talk to him, he's just so stupid sometimes!
"We're not really going shopping, are we?" Kelso asks, with veiled suggestion in his voice. Yeah, we're still gonna 'do it' aren't we, Jackie? I know you can't resist my hotness for long…
Jackie turns to him and continues to scream at him, frustrated, "Yes, I need clogs!" I can't believe you still think I'm gonna give you some action after this! I should cut you off for a week on account of being such a dill hole!
Kelso just hangs in head down in defeat and utters a simple dejected, "Oh." Guess I'm not getting any…not right now anyway…cause usually when Jackie says something, she means it…Damn!
FORMAN DRIVEWAY
"God, darn, that is a snazzy jacket! Yes sir! Brown is your color!" Red exclaims enthusiastically. Yeah, I really am glad I told you to get the jacket, rather than the stupid looking leisure suit you were looking at…leisure suits, geesh!
"Thanks dad." Eric replies. You know, this jacket is really starting to wear on me…though I will admit that it's definitely no leisure suit…
Kitty runs out of the house, camera poised to take a snapshot of Eric waiting for his date to arrive.
Eric starts to look panicked at the thought of his mother going camera crazy and blurts out, "No, no, no, mom, no, no, no!" Why does she always have to come out with the camera at times like these anyway? Doesn't she know it embarrasses the crap outta me?
She reluctantly puts the camera down, and looks dejected. Red takes out his wallet and starts rifling through it as he looks at his son. "Now let me tell you something. Order the dinner, a la carte's a sucker's bet. And remember. Pull the chair out for her, small fork is for the salad and this jacket's gotta last you all the way through college so don't spill any crap on it!" I really hope the dumbass doesn't screw this up, cause he won't find a nice girl like Donna who actually takes two looks at him everyday… After the mini lecture, he pulls some money out of his wallet and hands it to Eric, who accepts it eagerly. "Here you go, have fun."
Donna, Bob, and Midge walk over. All the parents make a huge fuss over Donna and Eric, making them both, particularly Donna uncomfortable. She glances over at Eric and inquires, "Shall we?" We should definitely get out of here right now…why do parents always have to be like this anyway? I swear, they already have us married with a couple kids or something…I mean it's our first date for crying out loud…and one I'm reluctant about at that…this is gonna be one long evening…
Eric just looks over at her, relief at her suggestion evident. "Good god yes!" Are everyone's parents like this, or is it just ours? I mean, they are just too involved in our lives…geez…
Both of them move toward the car quickly, anxious to escape any more embarrassment from their parents. Midge takes out a camera, and starts taking pictures frantically.
"Smile!" Midge exclaims giddily, still clicking away.
"Oh now, if she gets to do it, I get to do it!" Kitty shouts, and starts chasing Eric, who attempts to dodge the shots, around the car to get some pictures. Awww, how cute…my cute lil baby boy's first date… Slow down will you?! One day you'll appreciate us taking all these pictures…
Red dodges into the middle of the action, and tries to get Kitty to stop the picture taking. "Kitty, Kitty!" Do you really have to humiliate the boy like that, Kitty? Stop taking the damn pictures already…
As Red admonishes Kitty, Eric finally slips into the car and closes the door. He turns to Donna and says nervously, "Wow, talk about pressure huh?" Wow! They must really want us to be together or something…while I think that must a good sign, I wish they would just chill out a bit…god…
"Yeah, I mean this is a huge deal…" Donna begins falteringly, then continues, "…to our parents." Nice cover…no matter what comes of this night, this is a big deal…it'll tell me once and for all who I really wanna be with…either way, I've needed to speak to both Eric and Hyde for awhile…at least this will get one of those conversations out of the way. And Eric, for the most part has treated me like a queen since we started seeing each other, so I owe it to him to speak with him first…Bob and Midge getting all excited about our date didn't exactly help the situation any either, though it only emphasizes how perfect everyone thinks Eric and I are for each other…
Eric starts the car, which starts up the eight-track player as well. The song, "Disco Lady" starts playing, "Move it in, move it out, shove it in, shove it out, Disco Lady hey!"
Both Donna and Eric look extremely uncomfortable with the song's lyrics. Eric realizes that Kelso must've left his Super Funk eight track in his car the last time he got a ride somewhere. Eric thinks, I'm gonna frog Kelso so hard for this…
FORMAN DRIVEWAY
Hyde and Fez are shooting hoops.
Fez turns to Hyde inquisitively, "So what do you wanna do?"
"I don't know man, what do you wanna do?" I wouldn't be stuck here bored if Forman hadn't stolen my date right out from under me…
"Oh let's go to the Hub." Fez suggests, and then gets a grin on his face. "I got my eye on this plump girl."
"Sounds good man, but I'll pass!" Hyde replies, looking a little frustrated and dejected. Even Fez has his eye on someone…not that I'd be interested in some fat chick, but still… Guess I've gotta move on…I mean Donna ditched me to go on the date with Forman, how much more obvious could she have made it anyway? Wish I would've just talked to her while I had the chance…man, I wanna kill Forman!
Fez turns to Hyde with a look of 'pity'. "Poor Hyde!"
Hyde just looks at him, irritated, confused, and more than a little angry. "What?" Just what are you getting at man! Am I that transparent for crying out loud…guess I need to practice my Zen or something…
"You love Donna, and she's with your good friend Eric." Fez replies solemnly.
Hyde just continues to stare at him before questioning "And?" Must he persist in throwing this in my face? I mean, I've already blown my chance with her, why can't he just leave me the hell alone?
Fez adds, "And that's the oldest story in the world. And a sad one at that."
Hyde starts to get really agitated now and replies heatedly, "You know what man? I had a chance, and I didn't take it. And once Forman gives her that ring man, they're going out! And it would be really scummy to hit on her then. Not that I wouldn't do it, it'd just be really scummy!" Great…now I'm wallowing in my own self pity and sharing it with of all people, Fez…the only one in the group with a bigger mouth than him is Jackie, and we won't even go there…besides, what could I possibly do now anyway…I mean she's on the date with Forman…
Fez drags him out of his inner turmoil with some sage advice. "If you don't tell Donna how you feel, then you will regret it."
Upon hearing this, Hyde makes a decision and throws the ball to Fez. "I'm going to the Vineyard." Hell, I can't make a bigger ass out of myself than I have already, and I'll never know what might have been if I don't try…besides this talk has been a long time coming, though I just kept putting it off…and oddly enough, now I can't seem to remember what made me put it off for so long…
"Good for you." Fez says smiling, then continues nervously. "Oh, just don't tell Eric what I said because I really like his basement."
Hyde nods at him and smiles, letting him know that his secret is safe with him before running off toward the Vineyard, and Donna…
THE VINEYARD
Eric looks up at Donna over the menu. "Well, this is quite a menu!" Yeah, and I can only afford the cheapest thing on it, so I hope she doesn't order the lobster or something or I'm gonna be stuck eating the salad…though it'd be worth it if by the end of the evening we're going out…
"Yeah! You got enough money?" Donna counters, looking at him 'questioningly'. See, this is what I like about Eric…the lighthearted banter…I mean, with Hyde, everything has just been so intense…
Eric cuts off her inner musings with a playful sounding, "Oh, yeah, for me. Oh, I'm sorry, were you gonna eat something too?" Hmmm…she looks kinda tense…I wonder if it has anything to do with Hyde and the broken date at the library…best to keep it breezy and low key for now…I'll give her the ring at the end of the date…
Donna looks up at him, after quickly perusing the menu. "Actually, I'm in the mood for chicken." It's the cheapest thing on the menu, and even it is $15.00 a plate…eek, this place is expensive… I know Hyde could never take me to a place like this, but he makes up for it in other ways, like the photo he gave me for Christmas…I still think that was the sweetest gift I've ever gotten, though I'd never tell Eric that, since he spent so much on the perfume…a girl has to keep some secrets…
: "Oh, what a coincidence, I too am ordering the cheapest thing on the menu." Eric replies, keeping up the lighthearted banter. Quit kidding yourself…the only reason I'm not giving her the ring now is that I'm afraid she won't accept it…though if I don't ask, I'll never know, and I do hope she accepts it…yes yes, I do…
"You look really nice tonight." Donna informs him. Yeah, the jacket does look nice on him…I wonder if Red picked it out for him…it seems like something Red would choose…
"Oh, so do you. Look, Donna…" Eric begins, but trails off nervously. What the heck are we doing here…? We're talking like a couple of strangers on a blind date…not like a couple people who've known each other for years…This can't be a good omen…
A waiter comes over and inquires, "Hello! Can I start you folks off with drinks?"
"Well sure." Eric replies. Good drinks…that should loosen us both up and break the tension… I mean, I know I could definitely use a beer… He coughs and uses a much deeper voice than he normally would. "I'll have a beer."
"Alright," the waiter responds and writes the order on his pad before looking in Donna's direction.
Donna points toward another table with a drink on it. "Um, I'd like an ice tea." Yeah, I definitely need to keep a clear head tonight…
The waiter nods in response and goes off to get their drinks.
"He didn't even proof me!" Eric points out ecstatically. Wow! That was amazing! I wonder why he didn't proof me…
"It must be the jacket!" Donna replies, pointing at it. I mean, what else could it be?
Eric gets a goofy looking grin on his face before countering with, "Or my sideburns!" Yeah, I've been growing these sideburns for the last little while, they're really starting to fill in…
"What sideburns?" Donna says, giggling. Yeah Eric, what sideburns? Now Hyde, he has sideburns…and nice ones at that…oh god…I've really got to get my mind off this right now…I mean, I'm here on this date with Eric and all I'm doing is thinking of Hyde…on second thought, this is certainly telling…Geez…all this inner turmoil, and now I realize that the answer was in front of my face all along. I just couldn't admit it to myself…probably because it seems like everyone thinks Eric and I would make the perfect couple…but what exactly is a perfect couple anyways…? But now how do I tell Eric? Is it ever a good time to tell a guy you're dating, one who's always been such good friend to you, that you like his best friend? This is big, and I'm gonna have to tread easily…
Eric points to his face and turns it to the side to show her his sideburns, but his face doesn't have a hair on it. "These sideburns, right, these sideburns…" Smooth move Forman…
THE VINEYARD Sometime Later…
The waiter is walking over with their dinner orders. Upon seeing this, Donna stands up drunkenly and shouts, "Here chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken!"
"Donna, shh, please." Eric replies, evidently embarrassed and lowering his hands in a tone it down sort of gesture. Geez…what's gotten into her all of a sudden? She almost sounds drunk or something…but she's only had ice tea right?
"Oh, sorry." Donna responds, in what could be only be described as a mock conciliatory voice. Lighten up a little Eric! You are acting really uptight, even for you…god…
"Are, are you okay?" Eric asks, concerned. It sounds like she's drunk, but how could that be? Now I'm really glad I already decided to wait till the end of the evening before giving her the ring cause trying to give it to her now, when it seems like she's drunk could only go badly…
The waiter puts Donna's plate in front of her, then moves to do the same for Eric.
"I am great!" Donna exclaims giddily. You know, I really am great…and to think, I thought this would be a long evening…
"I think you're drunk!" Eric counters. Might as well toss it out there, see what she says…
"I think I am too!" Donna replies, grinning from ear to ear. Then she gets a questioning look on her face. "How could I be drunk?" Yeah, how could I be drunk…I only ordered ice tea, and last I checked, there was no alcohol in ice tea…Hmm…sure am glad dinner's here…I'm hungry…
The waiter turns to Eric and pointedly informs him, "Well, there's about five shots of alcohol in the Long Island Ice Tea."
Eric gets a confused look on his face before uttering, "Wait, Long Island Ice Tea?" Well, mystery solved…but wait, how exactly did she end up with a Long Island ice tea…?
"Yeah, well you guys ordered drinks…" The waiter explains, trailing off.
"And I'm ready for another one!" Donna drunkenly shouts as she raises her glass. That settles it…Long Island Ice Tea is officially my favourite drink…I'm not even uncomfortable anymore…if anything I'm downright giddy…
Eric, realizing how drunk she really is and deciding that she's had enough turns to the waiter, shouting frantically, "No, she's good! Thank you, Thanks, Thank you, Thank you, Thanks!" Yeah, go go go…and don't bring another ice tea with you! Now this isn't exactly how I planned to spend the evening…I thought I'd impress her with my charm…you know, be all suave and stuff so she'd accept my ring…ending anything that may have been going on between her and Hyde…and now I've got a drunken, screaming girl in a fancy restaurant…this has got to be the worst date ever…
The waiter takes the hint, and turns and leaves their table.
Well, step one…gotta sober her up some so she'll calm down a bit, and maybe then we can talk… Eric thinks, then mutters to himself while looking directly at Donna, "I think it's coffee time."
Donna looks at him drunkenly and wobbles a bit before shouting, "You're so hot, Eric! So hot!" Well, he does look pretty good tonight…wait a minute, are these drunk thoughts? Oh boy…
Upon hearing Donna's latest outburst he gets the hugest grin on his face and replies, "Or time for another ice tea maybe." Good, good…even though she's embarrassing me with the shouting, at least she's loosening up some…she was just a little too tense earlier…maybe it won't be so hard to give her the ring after all…but one thing at a time…coffee first before she gets us tossed out of the restaurant with her yelling…
Donna, losing her previous train of thought being drunk and all, also cuts him out of his inner musings by shouting, "Sing to me Eric!"
"No, I don't sing…" Eric says, giving gestures of avoidance. Oh god…
"Sing me a song!" Donna shouts again. Yeah, sing me a song, Eric! It'd be really romantic and stuff, and we are on a date, right???
Eric still continues to deny her request in a quiet, embarrassed way. "I don't really…" Geez, don't make me do this man…I should've gotten up for the coffee when I had the chance…
Donna, in her drunken stupor, starts threatening now. "Do it or I'll scream!" Yeah, Eric…sing me a song, or I really will scream…Hyde would've sang me a song…
Eric finally concedes, figuring it will be the easiest way out of this. However, he belts out the first song that comes to mind, which probably on second thought wasn't the best one he could have chosen. "Move it in, move it out, shove it in, shove it out! Disco Lady! Move it in, move it out, shove it in all about…"
Donna just sits there drunkenly bopping her head to the tone of Eric's out of tune singing. Gee Eric, I guess you do have it in you to sing to me…
JACKIE'S CAR
Jackie and Kelso get back in the car. Kelso turns to Jackie questioningly and blurts out, "Well Jackie, it's now nine o'clock, which means that every shoe store in the greater Oshkosh area is closed for the night. So, what do you wanna do now?" Yeah, c'mon Jackie…I just spent my entire Saturday night looking for clogs… You've got to wanna 'do it' now, right…?
"Hey! Let's go look at the new Corvettes!" Jackie exclaims excitedly in response. What a great way to end the night! This will help me decide which one to pick out for my 18th birthday…Daddy did say he would buy me one after all…and Michael, you just love looking at those expensive sports cars…
Kelso looks at her, excited for a split second, "Oh Yeah!" Then realizing what she's up to summons up a look of boredom and adds, "I mean, no. That just sounds boring." I do love convertibles Jackie, so that was a good try…what I really want is to 'do it' though…
"Well, what do you wanna do?" Jackie asks, a little exasperated at this point. If he thinks we're gonna 'prove our love', he'd better think again…especially after the way he acted around my father earlier…
"Oh, I don't know." Kelso replies, bored. Then, as if inspiration just struck him, "Oh wait, you know what we could do, we could prove our love to each other again." The fact that I just called 'doin' it' 'proving our love' has got to guarantee me some action… Yeah, we're gonna do it now!
Jackie just tosses him a haughty, holier than thou look before shouting, "No Michael, we're not gonna prove our love every single time we have a chance!" Michael, Michael, how many times do I have to show you that I'm the man…
"Why not?" Kelso asks perplexed. Yeah, why not? I mean, I did what you wanted to do all night, and for what?! To be told we're not gonna do it…ya know, this sucks!
"Because it doesn't work like that! And just because we did it once does not mean we're ever gonna do it again." Jackie counters, getting really angry now. Take that Michael! For being the huge doofus you are, you'll never see me naked again!
Kelso looks at her in frustrated annoyance and rolls his eyes. "Okay, well now you're just talking crazy!" Please say she's talking crazy…I mean I waited over a year before we even started 'doin' it'…
"No Michael, no I am not! And if you think that's how it's gonna work Michael, well, then you're wrong." So there!
"Well, damn Jackie! So, I spend all night looking for your, your stupid shoes and we're not even gonna do…" And to think, I could've spent the night hanging out in the basement…instead I was out looking for your stupid clogs!
"No." Jackie says, shaking her head emphatically and crossing her arms over her chest. Now take me home!
Kelso finally realizing that she means business, relents and caves. He sighs, and tosses his arms in the air. "Fine." There's no talking to her when she's like this, and you know, I kind of like being on the short leash…still wish we were 'doin' it' though, rather than sitting here fighting…
Jackie calms down, evidently mildly surprised at how quickly Kelso gave in. She quietly asks, "Are you sure you're okay with that?" I can't believe he relented so easily…maybe it's a trick…
Kelso sighs again and replies, "Yeah." Might as well…I'm not getting any action anyway…being angry about it isn't gonna help at all…maybe I should've broken up with her when I had the chance…
Jackie looks over at him, and gives him a sweet smile before saying, "Okay, let's do it!" Maybe he really is growing up…before he would've just kept on whining and pleading and begging until I gave in…
Kelso sits there dumbly, her words not having registered yet. Once they do, he looks at her, then quickly jumps over her. I knew we would 'do it'!
THE VINEYARD
Eric is sitting in front of Donna with his hand on his forehead, evidently very embarrassed by this point. Donna starts jumping and down with her chair.
"Eric, I'm bored! Dance with me!" Donna exclaims as she starts to get up to dance. Man, this place is stuffy…not to mention snooty, I mean look at the old guy next to us…if his nose went up any higher, you could literally see his nose hairs…
"Donna, no look, this is a classy place and I don't think…" Eric begins, but cuts himself off, only to continue with, "Well…no!" He gets up, and sits her back down in her chair. Geez, I need to find a way to get her some coffee, and fast! Everyone is staring at us! This isn't how I planned on spending the evening…I just hope that no one I know has seen us…I'd never hear the end of it…
After he's finally settled her into her chair, he looks directly at her and speaks sternly. "Look, Donna." Upon seeing the waiter in the distance, he turns and shouts over, "Come on, waiter, waiter! Could…" The waiter walks by, not even looking in his direction, so he takes another tactic, "Uh, okay. I'm gonna go get you some coffee so no dancing, and no singing. I'll be right back." I just hope she stays put till I get back… he thinks, as he turns and leaves.
After Eric is out of view, Donna firmly slams her fist on the table which grabs the irritated attention of all the restaurant patrons. "People, the chicken here is excellent!" she adds, in a shouting whisper.
Hyde walks in at this point, and heads over to the table. After seeing Hyde coming over, Donna hits a guy sitting at the next table only to shout to him, "Hey, Hyde's here! Hi Hyde!" The guy at the neighbouring table looks at her exasperatedly, before turning around and continuing to eat his dinner.
"Hey Donna, uh, where's Forman?" Hyde asks nervously. Guess this is it…now or never…at least Forman's not around right now…I have no idea how I would've handled that…
Donna points behind her, and replies in a quiet, albeit drunken voice, "Coffee." I'm glad Hyde's here, though wait a minute…why exactly is he here?
Hyde just continues looking at her, as he moves his sunglasses off his face and up into his hair. "Okay, look, I'm just gonna say this alright. Donna, I have feelings for you and I think that you have feelings for me. And Forman's gonna give you his ring, and I hope that before you take it, you'll think about…" he blurts out all at once, both nervous and hopeful. I'm glad Forman's not here right now...gives me some time to talk to her before he comes back and makes a scene…though, she seems to be acting a little strange…I just hope we can work this out…everything that's happened between us has to mean something right? I just hope I'm not making a huge ass out of myself for nothing…
Donna doesn't say anything, but brings her hands up to cup his cheeks and looks into his eyes. For a moment it looks as though she's going to lean in and kiss him, but she simply runs her hands up into his hair and grabs his sunglasses. Just as she slips his sunglasses on, Eric comes back to the table with two coffees in his hands.
Donna looks over to Eric, and bounces in her chair with her hands on Hyde's sunglasses. "Hey Eric, Hyde's here! Heidi, Heidi, Heidi, Heidi!" Something's not right here, but what?
Eric looks at Hyde angrily, "Hey, we're on a date here!" Yeah, what are you doing here man?! Trying to steal Donna away from me again? I should kick your ass right here, but what would that do besides make a scene and get us all thrown out of here?
Hyde sneers at him, obviously restraining a rage of his own and counters with, "Yeah man, well, you shouldn't be because we're supposed to be at the library!" What are you complaining about man?! YOU were the one that deliberately snaked me out of my date with her! And don't stand there all prim and proper, acting like you had no idea what you were doing! You're lucky that I'm not kicking your ass right now!
"Hyde, if she wanted to be at the library, she'd be at the library!" Eric shouts back. You just can't get over the fact that she chose me, can you?! Well, that's just your tough luck…if I were you, I'd leave right now, before you make an even bigger fool of yourself!
Donna cuts off their argument with a rather frantic sounding, "Oh my God!"
Eric looks over at Donna, both nervous and frantic. "Oh my God, wait, what do you mean by 'Oh my God!' ?" I hope she doesn't mean what I think she means…
She doesn't explain any further, just shouts out again, "Oh my God!" before getting up and running off with her hand covering her mouth.
"Oh my God! Oh my God! Look, when my date's done puking, you'd better not be here!" Eric turns and says to Hyde sternly. Yeah, take the chance and leave…I don't wanna have to fight with you anymore over this…she's chosen me so it's game over…hopefully now, we can put the ugliness behind us and things can get back to normal…He then, turns around and runs after Donna.
Hyde, looking in the direction Donna ran off toward, momentarily thinks of going to help as well, but the look on Eric's face tells him that he's not welcome there, so instead he walks over and sits down at their table. He sees a waiter walk by and calls him over. "Excuse me, hi! Could I get this in a doggie bag please? Thanks. Oh, and I'm in a hurry!" he replies hurriedly, looking defeated. Well, I tried to talk to her, but it's obvious she decided not to tell Forman about our kiss on the ski trip, so I guess that's it…I suppose I never really stood a chance…I mean, what do I have to offer her? This is what I get for getting my hopes up…still…for a minute there it looked like… he begins, but cuts himself off, realizing that this line of thinking wasn't going to get him anywhere. He was still Steven Hyde after all… If I can't have Donna, then I'm at least gonna have Eric's dinner…
JACKIE'S CARJackie looks over to Kelso with a goofy in love grin on her face and starts babbling, "I feel so close to you Michael! Michael and Jackie, Jackie and Michael! Doesn't that sound good? Michael and Jackie, true love, always, forever." Michael may be a doofus, but he's my doofus, and I love him…
Kelso looks at her apprehensively and utters, "Forever?" How can she talk about forever like that? I don't even know what to eat for lunch tomorrow…
The perky brunette just continues with her rose coloured glass version of 'forever'. "Forever! Dances, long walks, candles, flowers, babies, house, chocolate chip…" Yeah Michael, forever just keeps sounding better and better doesn't it…? She continues her list, but her voice slowly turns to a devil like tone.
Kelso doesn't move an inch, but sits there with a weird, frightened still manner. Finally he breaks out of it with a strangled sounding, "Unh!" Okay, now she's just scaring me…
THE HUB
Donna and Eric are sitting at a table, drinking coffee as the Hub is preparing to close for the evening. All the other patrons have already left, leaving the two of them alone.
Donna looks embarrassed as she falteringly forces out a meek sounding, "Thanks for holding my hair when I was..." That was pretty nice of him to help me out like that…now, why didn't Hyde come and help out as well? Come to think of it, weren't they fighting about something? And why did Hyde come to the restaurant in the first place? Could it have been about me?
"Oh, just thanks for missing my shoes!" Eric replies jokingly. Guess it's now or never…time to give her the ring…I just hope she accepts it…
"Well, I guess, I guess I blew our big night." Donna responds contritely. Damn ice tea…it ruined my evening! I wanted to try and explain everything to Eric over dinner, but was too drunk to even think clearly. And then Hyde showed up…boy, I have a feeling I really screwed that up big time…when Eric came back with the coffees, Hyde looked really upset…all I can seem to remember is seeing him walk into the restaurant, and the lost look on his face when he saw Eric…I just hope that I can fix this…first things first…talk to Eric…he's always been such a nice guy to me from the first day I met him…the day I punched him in the stomach of all things…hopefully he'll understand and accept my decision…I mean, the last thing I want is for this whole thing to break up the group…
"No, no! Look it's cool. I mean I thought I was gonna blow and then I mean you totally blew it. So, I mean it's great!" Eric exclaims happily. Did I really just say that? And what's with the sad look on Donna's face? Something's not right here…I just hope that it's not what I think it is…
Donna responds with a bit of a mechanical tone, "You know, by telling me I blew it, you basically just blew it. Kidding." Yeah, I can't let the poor guy feel guilty for the whole ice tea fiasco…or about the news I have to give him…I mean, he tried his best to make our relationship work…hell, so did I…and who knows, if it weren't for Hyde perhaps we could have made a go of it…but there's no point on dwelling on what might have been…
In a moment of nervous energy, Eric decides to just go for it and blurts out everything he's been holding inside all evening. "And I was doing so good here with the jacket and the coffee, holding your hair back… Look, Donna, I want to be your boyfriend and you're all I ever think about and will you wear my class ring?" Well, you did it…now it's all up to her…I just can't seem to shake this feeling I have that she's gonna say no…that she'll choose Hyde…hell, why have I been fighting so hard to keep her when I know that we've been drifting apart these last few weeks? Now that I've asked her to accept my ring, I wonder if in the midst of fighting over Donna, it's simply turned into a matter of winning…of proving to myself on some level that I'm better than Hyde? Ever since we met, we've always been competing on some level…
Donna cuts him out of his inner struggle with a quietly uttered, "I can't." Guess it's truth time…here goes…, Donna thinks, trying to prep herself for the conversation she's been both dreading and anticipating.
Eric looks at her with a look of sadness and acceptance on his face and replies, "It's Hyde, isn't it?"
"Yeah, but believe me when I say that I didn't intend for it to happen this way. That this hasn't been an easy situation for me, especially since we are all such close friends. And in the beginning, I really did want to try having a relationship with you. It's always been such a big deal to our parents as well…like seriously, I swear they had us married with kids from the time we met and the only interest I had was sitting on your head. But shortly into our relationship things started changing and just weren't the same anymore. I just didn't see it until the day after we went to the disco when I heard Jackie talking to your mom in the living room from inside the kitchen. Did you know that Hyde went to your mom for dancing lessons just to share that one dance with me?"
Upon hearing this, Eric just gets a stunned look on his face, then shakes his head no. Wow! That's so unlike Hyde…he must really care about her, something I never thought Hyde was even capable of… Though, I should probably kick his ass for making the moves on her…and believe me, I'm still angry with him for stealing Donna right out from under me, but really, am I any better? I went behind his back to get her to go on this date with me, and turned this whole thing into one huge competition by deliberately ignoring what was really right in front of me. Sure, I thought it was because I wanted to be with Donna, and that she wanted to be with me, but in the end I think I knew on some level that it had simply turned into a matter of winning…of proving I was better than Hyde because I had gotten the girl…
He gets cut out of his dialogue by the flustered redhead, who seems determined to make him understand why things turned out the way they did. "I mean, at first I was angry that he kept that information from me, but then it all started to make sense that what was missing between us was that spark, you know? Anyway, at first I figured I'd make an honest effort to capture that feeling with you. Especially since I had been the one to initiate the relationship between us, I felt it was my responsibility to make it work, to create that magic with you. It didn't take me long to realize that it wasn't working, but I thought that it was something that would come with time. That was until the ski trip where everything changed." At this point, Donna looks down at her hands and starts fidgeting nervously. "He kissed me Eric, while you were out looking for Fez." She stops talking for a minute and just looks at Eric, who gets a temporary look of rage on his face that is quickly replaced by a look of acceptance. Upon seeing that look, Donna got the nerve to finish the rest of what she had come on the date to say. "That was when it became obvious that the sparks just weren't there for us, and that they never would be. I just didn't know how to tell you, and I convinced myself that we could still have a good relationship in spite of that. I was also afraid of what my revelation would do to the group, and the friendship between you and Hyde. I didn't want to come between that, and lose you in the process. Finally I realized I had to tell you, I just hope that you can understand…" Donna finishes trailing off, tired both physically and emotionally. I just hope I did the right thing…I know that I needed to speak with Eric before I could try to start a relationship with Hyde, but despite my best efforts to prepare myself for this discussion, I still didn't think it would be this hard…and this blasted hangover isn't exactly helping.
Eric just looks at her for a few seconds before saying, "While I can't say that I'm happy about all this, I must admit I was sort of expecting it. I have noticed how close you two have been with each other lately, but I kept trying to pretend it wasn't there. I guess I just didn't want to let myself see it."
"I'm sorry Eric." Donna mumbles and looks down at her hands.
"It'll be okay, Donna…it has to be doesn't it? We've all been friends for too long to let something like this tear us apart. I just need a little time to get over this. I should probably go." Eric says in reassurance as he grabs his jacket and prepares to leave. Then thinking he probably shouldn't just leave her here, turns back to ask, "Are you coming?"
"Not just yet." Donna responds and looks at him with a meek, but hopeful smile on her face. He smiles back, then turns and leaves, needing to do some thinking of his own.
FORMAN DRIVEWAY
Donna walks up the road, on the way home, but stops when she sees Hyde alone shooting hoops in Eric's driveway. Was gonna go home for the night…didn't expect to see him still over at Eric's…he looks so sad…guess I should go over and talk to him…wish I wouldn't have had so much of that damn ice tea! My head is killing me! She walks over to him, and just stands there watching him until he turns and sees her standing there.
"Hey…well I guess you came to tell me that Forman gave you his ring…" he begins before trailing off, looking both irritated and dejected.
Donna just stands there and looks directly at him. Oh that explains it, he thinks I chose Eric…how could he think that?! Must have something to do with what happened between the time he showed up and Eric came back to the table… With a look of understanding, yet a little annoyance she starts to explain. "I couldn't accept it, and that's what I came here to tell you; also, that I was really looking forward to going to the library with you. However, when Eric asked me to dinner I realized that I needed to talk to him…you know, explain things…" How could I have even grappled with choosing between the two of them, when the answer was right in front of me all along? She trails off, but gives him a serious look…making sure he didn't miss her meaning.
Finally, as he begins to realize what she's hinting at a look of understanding crosses his face and he utters a simple, "Ahhh…" Maybe she was just looking for the right time to talk to Eric when I showed up…and along the way, she somehow managed to get drunk… Then he pulls himself out of his inner musings and with a look of concern asks, "So how'd he take it?" Yeah, I definitely need to know if I should steer clear of Forman for a while…back at the restaurant he looked dangerously close to giving me a serious ass kicking…
"Better than I expected." Donna replies; then adds, "I think everything will be fine…we just all need a little time."
"You think I should talk to him? You know, to clear the air?" I probably should talk to him…I mean, we've been friends for years…can't just leave something like this hanging between us…though I have no idea how to even broach the subject with him, especially after the death glare he gave me back at the Vineyard…
"That would probably be a good idea, but I'd wait a day or so first…I mean, he did say that everything would work itself out…that it had to because we've all been friends for so long. I just think he needs a few days to work it out on his own terms, you know?"
"Yeah, I can understand that." he replies and nods in agreement. "So…" he continues, but then starts coughing nervously. "Well…I was gonna give you this when we went to the library…" he chokes out before trailing off again as he reaches in his backpack for what looks like a nice looking leather bound journal and awkwardly thrusts it at her.
Donna looks down at it, as she's flipping through the pages comments, "Gee, it's so pretty!" Finally she looks up at him and asks, "How could you ever afford this?" I can't believe he got me a present…how sweet of him…I just feel bad that he couldn't have given it to me at the library like he planned…
Hyde looks down at his shoes bashfully, then forces himself to look her directly in the eyes as he tells her, "Well, I've been eating over at Kelso's a lot lately, and saved Edna's grocery money. Anyway, one day I saw this in a store window as I walked by and thought it would be the perfect gift for you, so…" He just stops there and shrugs, never finishing whatever it was he was going to say. God, I swear I'm turning into Forman…but it's worth it to see the smile on her face…
Donna stares at him smilingly, temporarily rendered speechless that he would so something like that just for her. This goes on for a few seconds before she breaks out of the trance, slowly leans forward and starts kissing him tenderly. Quickly the moment overtakes them both and the kiss grows more passionate.
Eric, deciding to walk home and pick up the Cruiser at the Hub the next morning, so he would have some time to think, finally walks up to house and sees the new couple together kissing in the driveway. Well, I see they finally worked things out…and I'd rather see her with Hyde than some other jerk who would only take advantage of her…at least Hyde cares about her…I suppose clearing the air can wait until tomorrow… He just smiles, gives a small nod of concession, and walks past them into the house.
