REAL QUICK AUTHOR'S NOTE: The first half of this chapter comes directly from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter Twenty Eight, "Snape's Worst Memory"
"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall after their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L exam.
"Loved it," said Lupin briskly. "'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.'Excellent question."
"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern.
"Think I did," said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin..."
Wormtail was the only one who didn't laugh.
"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but i couldn't think what else--"
"How thick are you, Wormtail?" said James impatiently. "Your run round with a werewolf once a month--"
"Keep your voice down," implored Lupin.
"Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," Sirius said. "I'll be surprised if I don't get Outstanding on it at least."
"Me too," said James. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch.
"Where'd you get that?"
"Nicked it," said James casually. He started playing with the Snitch allowing it to fly as much as a foot away and seizing it again; his reflexes were excellent. Wormtail watched him in awe.
They stopped in the shade of the beech tree on the edge of the lake and threw themselves down on the grass.
The sunlight was dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which the group of laughing girls who had just left the Great Hall were sitting with shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water.
Lupin had pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so. James was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom farther and farther away, almost escaping but always grabbed at the last second. Wormtail was watching him with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Wormtail gasped and applauded.
"Put that away, will you?" said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer. "Before Wormtail wets himself from excitement."
Wormtail turned slightly pink but James grinned.
"If it bothers you," he said, stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket
"I'm bored," said Sirius. "Wish it was a full moon."
"You might," said Lupin darkly from behind his book. "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me...Here." He held out his book.
Sirius snorted. "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."
"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," said James quietly. "Look who it is...."
Sirius's head turned. He had become very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit.
"Excellent," he said soflty."Snivellus."
Snape was walking towards the Marauders and was stowing the O.W.L. paper in his bag. Sirius and James stood up. Lupin and Wormtail resmained sitting: Lupin was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint from line had appeared between his eyebrows. Wormtail was looking from Sirius and James to Snape with a look of avid anticipation on his face.
"All right, Snivellus?" said James loudly.
Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: Dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes, and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, "Expelliarmus!"
Snape's wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.
"Impedimenta!" he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet, halfway through a dive toward his own fallen wand.
Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had gotten to their feet and were edging nearer to watch. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.
Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands up, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went. Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view.
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James.
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."
Several people watching laughed. Wormtail sniggered shrilly. Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was strugging, as though bound by invisible ropes.
"You--wait," he panted staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing. "You--wait...."
"Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"
Snape let out a stream of mixed swearwords and hexes, but his wand being ten feet away nothing happened.
"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly. "Scourgify!"
Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him--
"Leave him ALONE!"
James and Sirius looked around. James's free hand jumped to his hair.
It was one of the girls from the lake edge. She had thick, dark red hair that fell to her shoulders and startlingly green almond-shaped eyes.
"All right, Evans?" said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.
"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. "What's he done to you?"
"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean...."
Many of the surrounding watchers laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn't, and neither did Lily.
"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."
"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said James quickly. "Go on...Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."
Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch toward his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.
"I wouldn't go ou with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily.
"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, turning back to Snape. "OY!"
But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood
James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants.
Many people in the small crowd watching cheered. Sirius, James, and Wormtail roared with laughter.
Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she were going to smile, said, "Let him down!"
"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upward. Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes, he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, "Locomotor mortis!" and Snape keeled over again at once, rigid as a board.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.
"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly.
"Take the curse off him, then!"
James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the countercurse.
"There you go," he said, as Snape struggled to his feet again, "you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus--"
"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"
Lily blinked. "Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."
"Apologize to Evans!" James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.
"I don't want you to make him apologize," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is...."
"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a -- you-know-what!"
"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just off off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can--I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."
She turned on her heel and hurried away.
"Evans!" James shouted after her, "Hey, EVANS!"
But she didn't look back.
"What is it with her?" said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.
"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Sirius.
"God he disgusts me!" Lily ranted once she'd returned to her friends by the lake.
"He's good looking, that Sirius Black. I'd say he's the best looking boy in our year," Gretchen Wimsey mused as she watched the two boys return to their spot under the tree.
"He's a jerk," Lily replied darkly. "He's worse than Potter."
"Potter's not bad either…and he likes you, Lil…he's popular, plays quidditch….good looking…"
"You forgot arrogant, stupid and self centered."
"Come on now…I'll bet he really isn't all that bad…I mean, he probably does it just to try and impress everyone…we all know Snape's a git and a half and we'd love to do what Potter and Black do to him."
"I don't think that him being a git is a good enough reason for those two to make his life a living hell. They've been nothing but mean to him since our first year. It's unnecessary," Lily explained seriously.
"Lighten up, Lil…you know, not everyone has to be nice to everybody all the time…"
Lily sighed and looked over at the boys. Remus appeared to be scolding his friends for their behavior. She smiled.
"I don't know how Remus fell in with those two…or Peter…they seem like such nice boys…"
"Peter's not nice. He's creepy. And Remus is too dreamy for words," Gretchen bit her lip with a small smile.
"Remus is a really nice guy…you should talk to him," Lily urged.
"Right…cause I can just have a conversation with Remus Lupin. Please, Lily, surely you jest…"
Lily laughed. "I mean it. He's not like them. He and I have always gotten along brilliantly."
Gretchen glanced at her watch. "Let's go grab a bite to eat before Transfiguartion…I'm starving!"
Lily nodded in agreement. The girls pulled their shoes back on and grabbed their books.
Lily glanced over her shoulder to see Potter looking at her with a small smile. She glared in return then headed towards the castle with her friend.
