A/N: Ok, so…I'm sure many of you are kind of angry at me. I bow down and apologize profusely and beg for your forgiveness. I said I would finish this, and I intend to. The only real reason I can give is that things have been SUPER hectic around here, and add that to the fact that I was suffering some major writer's block. This chapter has been written over the course of several months, and I just pray that it makes sense. Again, I'm so sorry, and I still love y'all. I started writing another fic on here in a different fandom. For those of you that don't know me (most of you), I'm a huge fanatic of the anime Yu Yu Hakusho. I write under the pen name of YoukaiJin if anyone is interested in reading that. I began writing that fic in hopes that I could overcome the LOTR writing block and that Kalen would kick me in the rear…or that Lego would shoot an arrow at my butt to get me going again. It never happened, so I had to kick my own butt. So without further ado, I give you the much awaited next chapter.
"Are you going to ignore me for the rest of the journey, or will you acknowledge my presence at some point?"
She stared straight ahead, never turning to face him. She had not asked any of them to come with her, they simply chose to tag along on their own accord, and Kalen did not see any reason why she needed to explain her silence or lack of attentiveness. No, she had no reason to explain other than the fact that she knew Legolas would continue to press for her attention.
"I never asked you to come. I do not need your help; I do not need help from any of you. Do you think I am so foolish as to wage a war with myself as the only soldier on my side? The purpose of this journey is to gather intelligence and then decide what to do from there."
There was another long silence. Perhaps they had all been quick to judgment in assuming that Kalen was hell bent on having a swift revenge, though one could not blame her had it been so. Silinde sighed, his gaze falling to the black mane of his horse. The dark elf from Taureliloomis was not the only one in the party whose heart had been affected by the terrible news of the attack. His mind drifted back to a time long past and an elf of wondrous beauty. She had captured his heart ages ago, and had managed to keep hold of it throughout the long years since her departure from Greenwood the great, though she never knew of his feelings. How strange that those old feelings could still be so strong.
"Calanagariel."
Kalen turned her head, surprised at having heard the forlorn whisper of someone as saddened as she. This whisper, this calling of a broken heart, brought fleeting memories of her heart's own struggle to be heard. Should she answer the call with a response, or should she do as she had always done with her own, and choose to ignore it? Finally, something that would temporarily take her mind off what lie ahead; a mystery to be solved would do quite nicely.
"You know Calanagariel, Silinde?"
The messenger from Eryn Lasgalen looked up in surprise. Had he spoken her name aloud, or was her child so in tuned to any thoughts that carried her in them?
"Yes, I knew her…know her. Long before you came to be, she was one of Thranduil's most trusted messengers. We were close friends until she left us and made her own home in Taureliloomis."
"That is strange. Why have I never heard of these things before? She has kept me in the dark on many things, and within a matter of months, I am flooded with new realizations. I am finding that everything I thought I knew, I did not really know at all."
Legolas turned in surprise upon hearing Silinde's short statement. The feeling in Imladris had not been imagined, but had in fact, been true. He had known the flaxen haired female from his own homeland, though he could not remember her. When the moment of realization had passed, he looked at Kalen, the guilt in his heart heavy. He had never taken the time to see that she was hurting so deeply…that so much of her life had been founded on secrecy and mysteries she would not solve alone. His head dropped in shame. He had been so concerned with seeking answers that he had not stopped to consider the effects of his pressure upon the already unstable elf.
Gimli continued to watch Legolas, as he usually did, to see his expressions. It fascinated him how the elves could conceal their emotions so well, but yet, there were times when they seemed more human than humans themselves. It appeared that the truth had finally dawned on him…that the warrior elf had figured out a way to handle things with the grieving female. Gimli nudged his horse toward the front where Kalen rode alone.
"We should be reaching your home shortly, if I'm not mistaken. Perhaps you should take a moment alone to gather your emotions and think clearly. There is no telling what we will find when we arrive, be it hopeful or grievous. I have a feeling that there is still much you will uncover about yourself and your people…and about the ones who have done this terrible thing."
Kalen smiled slightly. Leave it to Gimli to assume the role of an emotional protector. This dwarf was a good man, and the guilt at her judgments of him at their first meeting still held firmly to her heart. She would make things up to him when she could; it was the least that she owed him.
"Thank-you, Gimli, but I must press forward. Whatever awaits me at the gates of Taureliloomis, I will be strong…for myself, for my people," she paused "and most importantly, for my mentor. She would expect me to be strong."
Gimli smiled weakly. The elf in Kalen was dominant, overcoming the human emotions that existed within her. The tears would not come, at least not in front of anyone else. Luck willing, they would have some hopeful sign that would sustain Kalen and allow her hurting human side to let the proud elf to take over. He knew she would never forgive her heart if she succumbed to the feelings for Legolas that existed within, simply because she buckled in a moment of woe. For her sake and for Legolas', Gimli hoped the massacre would be minimal…if any massacre could be so.
"Kalen, whatever we find…" Silinde paused briefly, unsure how his words would be taken. "I believe I speak for the entire royal family of Eryn Lasgalen when I say you would be most welcomed to call it your home."
Kalen looked at the blonde elf riding beside her. He was heartfelt in his offer, and she knew what he said was true…at least on Thranduil's part.
"Thank-you Silinde, but if none remain in Taureliloomis, I must move on. I will not find peace in any one place. I will find my solace in wandering the lands of Middle Earth."
She turned forward and fell silent once more. Silinde had spoken truthfully when he said the entire royal family of Eryn Lasgalen would welcome her to remain there, but Legolas had remained still. The truth was that whether Eryn Lasgalen or the halls of Mandos, he would be happy only so long as he could remain at her side.
