Chapter 9: Incident near the incubators

This isn't right.

Lorelai sat in a waiting room chair, her hand entwined in Luke's, both of them waiting.

Waiting for a doctor.

Waiting for a nurse

Waiting for absolution…

Anything…

This just isn't right.

It isn't fair!

She turned and watched the nearly grown man next to her; his eyes squeezed shut and his lips moving to silent words.

What is he going to do?

…What am I going to do?

He reached up with his free hand and hastily wiped the stray tears streaming down his cheeks away.

I can't leave him.

Not like this…

She turned closer to him and pulled her arms around him, holding him close hoping that whatever comfort she could offer would be enough to give him the slightest reassurance that he wasn't alone.

She ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek.

"It'll be okay, Luke, really..." She whispered into his ear.

She felt him shudder and sigh, "Y-you can't say that Lorelai," he pulled back from her and held her gaze. "Although I know you're only trying to help me, you can't say that – you have no idea what going to happen. You have no idea how much this could change our lives…well, my life."

He turned away from her and cradled his head in his hands a moment before standing, "I'm going to see what the latest is."

Okay he doesn't want me here.

He doesn't want me here

He doesn't want me here…. I will NOT cry. I can control my hormones now, surely!

Na uh. No crying. Not me, no siree bob.

She forced a wobbly smile, "…okay."

His eyes bored into her with an unintelligible emotion, before he turned and headed down the hall towards his fathers room.

Lorelai slumped back into her bed.

Man this is so Dallas it's killing me.

Although really, I don't give a damn who shot JR, all I want is for things to go back the way they were.

Well, except for Rory.

Her lips curved even at the thought of her daughter.

My beautiful baby girl... she's so pretty… and I bet she's smart too! Even Mr Danes thought…

Mr Danes.

Her bottom lip quivered as the tears pricked the back of her eyes.

HEY! TEAR DUCTS! WHAT HAVE I SAID? No crying.

Geeeeeeee…

She sighed as she stood up and began marching towards the hospital nursery.

I still don't understand why I can't take Rory for myself yet.

All I get to do at the moment is stand in front a fat pane of glass and press my nose up to it trying to see Rory clearly…

Maybe I can signal to one of the nurses that the baby is mine…

Although last time I tried that they didn't believe I was its real mother.

I mean, hello! I'm not usually this fat for no reason!

Seriously, people why can't I just ta-…

She froze in her tracks as she saw a familiar figure pressing his nose up to the glass and squinting.

Oh god.

Oh jeeps.

Oh whatever is up there can somebody puh-leeeease morph me away into another time zone, universe, hell I'll take even the next room! Just please don't let this be real…

She couldn't move.

She stared open-mouthed at the young man now softly singing through the glass,

"Love's strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on

Slow change may pull us apart
when the light gets into your heart, baby

Don't You Forget About Me
Don't… Don't… Don't…
Don't…"

She noticed a tiny tear drip from his cheek,

Oh my god he's crying…

"Chris."

The young man spun around, eyes widening at the sound of her voice before breaking out into a beaming smile,

"LOR!"

He ran to her and grabbed her, but she stiffened in his grasp.

Why does this suddenly feel so awkward?

He suddenly realised her body was tense and moved backwards, still holding her hands in his, he spoke rapidly.

"Lor, how are you? How was the delivery? Where are your parents? Where have you been? When are you coming home? Do you have an answer for me yet?"

He was beginning to ramble.

"CHRIS! Stop."

He froze and gazed at her, "I've missed you so much, Lor."

"Yeah, me too. What are you doing here?"

He looked at her quizzically, anxious at her demanding tone, "I came to see you. And my daughter…is that a problem?"

Yes.

"Why didn't you come and see us before?"

His cheeks reddened and he looked down at his shoes, scuffing the soles on the white linoleum, "I…well… my dad… thought… I didn't know where you were?"

Her eyes narrowed, "You could have looked for crying out loud. I was only a town away!"

She could practically see his defence mask protecting his face, "How was I supposed to know that? I ask you to marry me and you suddenly have this huge freak out and pack your bags and leave!"

"Chris, you know me better than to think I would want all that crap!"

"Oh really! And what, pray tell, is so wrong with marrying me!" He was towering over her now, his face inches from hers. She could see the anger, the shame and the guilt written all to clearly across his face, before it softened and his lips came crashing down on hers.

What? No no no no no no no no no no not this, not now!

She used all her strength pushing him off her before taking a couple of steps back…

"Chris, I… we… can't do this."

His face was clouded in confusion; he shook his head slightly, "Why? Why can't we make it work?"

She closed her eyes,

Because I don't want to…

"Because we just can't."

"Why won't you marry me?" he paused.  Suddenly his eyebrows shot up, making Lorelai panic a bit, "Is it another guy?"

Is there? Is there, Lorelai?

… Don't lie to yourself, Bub.

"No…there wasn't then."

A moment of silence passed, both regarding each other, gauging reactions.

Christopher's cheeks reddened again, his eyes narrowed and a fury Lorelai had never seen suddenly crossed his face,

"WHAT?!"

Taking a deep breath, Lorelai steadied herself, ready for the onslaught, "His name is Luke."

"WHAT?!" He began pacing, "God I don't believe this! First you get pregnant, second you refuse me as a husband, third you run away from everything you've ever known and lastly, oh and this is the killer, you fall for some hillbilly hick who probably has buck teeth, carries a banjo with him everywhere and probably lost both his parents in a horrific pie contest accident!"

He was so caught up in his rant he didn't see Lorelai's fist coming.

He lay on the floor, blood dripping slowly from his nose, looking up at Lorelai who was shaking with rage, "How…dare…you. Do you know what I've been through? Do you have any idea? No. So don't judge me, or Luke, you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

She turned and began walking away before hearing a plea cry out from behind her.

"Wait!" he stood up and have an exasperated sigh, "Please, Lor…I'm sorry – I didn't mean … I didn't think…Lor, I'm sorry."

He held out his arms and she went to him, she sighed into his shoulder, "Can we scratch this up to hormones?"

He laughed, "I thought the father didn't get to use that excuse?"

"Well, we can use it just once."

He smoothed her hair and breathed in the scent of her, "You forgive me right?"

"Of course you big dumbass."

"Hey I thought jerk-off would be the most I'd get."

"Nup, definitely dumbass worthy. Hell, maybe I'll spin you a jackass too."

"I am sorry. For everything."

She sighed, "I know…"

"I want to be there for the baby."

"Rory would love that."

"Rory… I like it."

"You better, cos I'm not changing it."

He laughed once more, holding her tighter…

Once a bad boy, always a bad boy…

…But … I don't think a bad father…he'll be supportive.

She smiled into his shoulder,

I can do this…

I can do this on my own.

Meanwhile in another room in the hospital, a dark haired girl entered Williams' room. She wore grey sweatpants with a tight black t-shirt, her hair scraped back into a single braid. Her bottle green eyes filled with emotion as she looked at the man lying in the bed.

She picked up a small boy who lingered at her feet and held him in her arms.

She pointed at William and smiled softly at the boy.

"Look Jessie," she whispered, "There's Grandpa…"