Gandalf led the most annoying A Miranda through the lonely mountains to the shire in a record time of four days, seven hours, fifty-three minutes and 12 mili-seconds, which is if you are asking-by shire reckoning. A Miranda was always grumbling about food since they had none and was force to eat what berries she could find on the path.i mean who leaves for a long trip without any food? These berry bushes seemed to magically appear every two miles because that was when A Miranda began grumbling again, and again so to shut her up Gandalf magiced  the bushes up from somewhere else in Middle Earth. So it is dually noted that some berry farm, probably in the shire to which he is headed, is missing bushes that will cause the crop amount to decreased also causing the farmer to get very ticked off, But Gandalf also had an ulterior motive besides to tick off even more people. If A Miranda had berries in her mouth she could not speak which is a very large plus.

            But the berries did not stop a very bored Miranda from singing songs like "Hi, my name is Joe" or "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" which to point out that it did not get on Gandalf's nerves that were already worn thin to the point that when he got to the shire and would put someone else, maybe a Meridoc Brandybuck, would make his day like he had found the pot of gold, nay two hundred pots of gold at the end of the rainbow, but then again why would a wizard who doesn't even pack food when he leaves for some far away place, want gold?

            When they finally reached the outskirts of the Shire Gandalf could not help but jump for joy.

 "You looked like a two year old who just received a Barbie doll, not the respected (hump- respected how could he ever be respected with this I am sooo better than you attitude) wizard that you are, Captain Obvious. oh great now I am stating the obvious thank you so much." A Miranda so jokingly, then fumingly, said. Great once again a miranda was just a little more than ticked off. Obviously she had one, fine a little, ok  TO many berries from the berry bush.

"how often do you ever shut up? And wait didn't you tell the orc…"

"who Mr. Smelly?"

"Yeah him, but now what was I saying? (pauses for several minutes before remembering) didn't you tell that orc that it is not polite to eat with your mouth open?"

"Yes I did… no I didn't your lying and now YOU are confusing ME, then unconfuseable, ok another lye. This is the road that never ends, it just goes on and on my… oh berries. Kjshdjshfjshdfjshfdfshf!"

"What?"

"jhdfjhshfjsdhfjfsnruexdvndhrfs!!"

"whatever, I am not listening to you."

"jhuwesdvbndshfjhn!!!!(finally swallows the mouthful of berries) I SAID that I have to pee."

"very lady like."

"now I REALLY have to pee! (she shuffles over to a bush to do her business) and starts singing "this is the pee that never ends" and after about five minutes she emerged to notice a Gandalf who had sat down on a log and begun reading a book, he had been giggling to himself (what? Only girls giggle? if you think that you are very racist because it is a lye)

"are you ready to continue? I have urgent business and you have just delayed me for quite a while. I know you have not gone to the bathroom since we left Mirkwood, but seriously did you have to make a new river?"

"I had urgent business too you know, if you hadn't noticed, but I am one who does not get something out of my system, especially berries, fast. But on and on we go down the road that never ends" stated Miranda who was now quite relived and in a usually happy mood and spoke in a sing song voice.

"fine come follow me so we can return to business, noo not that business you Pereigrin took ( a Miranda had turned around and was about to go back behind the bush) if you held it this long and went for that long I do not believe that you will have to go again."

"I don't but you said… fine never mind and stop giving me the death glare. Besides I patented the death glare years ago, here if you don't believe me I have the certificate right her – number 45,789 of my patented certificates and yes everything I do is patented or in your case- copywrited. Which brings me to point out that you have not once gone to the bathroom since we began this god awful trip. What is your business anyway?"

"That is not your concern."

"Ok come on we should have a conversation, or I will start singing this is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was and…"

"Fine, fine, I have noticed that you have a fetish with that song and seem rather taken with it."

"Don't change the subject. Hey you're not stating the obvious! Oh wait yes you, are my mistake."

"You seem to make a lot of mistakes don't you."

"I do not"

"Yes you do"

"Do not"

"Do to"

"Do not"

"Do to"

"Do, wait what were we fighting about again? And while you are explaining it to me you can wipe that smug look of your face… hey you changed the subject again! Now tell me your business in the shire or I will start sing hi my name is Joe, I work in a button factory, I have a wife and a dog and a family…"

"You seem to be quite taken with that one to. Do you have a courtier? I hope you do just so I can tell what ever it is that you are taken with something else. Besides which you act like a two, no wait a newborn."

"Do not"

"Do to"

"Do not"

"Do to"

And so they went on like this all the way to Bag End. Where Gandalf told Miranda to "go five rows down, cross three rivers, walk past 6 cabbage patches that are on the left and go into the seventh house." And so a Miranda went and followed his directing after repeating them twice to make sure she got them right. She went five rows down, crossed three rivers walked past six cabbage patches but by that point forgot the rest, you cant rely on a Miranda to remember directions and it is no use to write them down because she will lose the paper, or once again cut herself with it and throw it away because it is evil.

"Was it two houses or four houses?" she kept wondering but that got her right where she began, with no idea so she turned around and went pass six cabbage patches on the right, crossed three rivers, and went two rows up. If you were wondering or hadn't noticed yet, she was a very lost creature and kept going in circles until a curious tiny weenie hobbit caught her attention by throwing a pebble at her head, but since the hobbit was so small the pebble only reached a Miranda's knee. But then again a Miranda wouldn't take the hint even if it smacked her in the face. Which is just what the tiny hobbit did, she climbed up onto a low branch of a bush next to where a Miranda was circling, she climbed up until she was at face height and walked to the end of the branch. When a Miranda walked by, wham! Right in the face jumped a tiny hobbit and held fast to a Miranda's nose, but it was still minutes in which the poor hobbit could not hold on for much longer, before a Miranda even noticed that there was something on her nose and made to flick it off when she realized it was an insie weenise person. The small hobbit asked a Miranda to where she was headed and though she didn't know she just replied to "find Gandalf". The small hobbit told a Miranda the way and hoped down off of her nose and then when a Miranda walked off following the directions and the hobbit followed a Miranda, though at slower pace because of her short legs but she followed because she figured that this was a thing that forgot easily, which that is exactly what a Miranda is. At least this hobbit had more sense than Gandalf did. Of cause you weren't stuck with her for as long as he was so that is probably why, that and he was just plain annoyed with her and didn't care anymore.

When a Miranda finally reached bag end, after a few mistakes of turning down the wrong street then being punched lightly, or to the hobbit hardly, in the leg and got back on the right path, hey wow Gandalf was right for once, a Miranda does make a lot of mistakes. A Miranda went up to the door just as Gandalf came out and ran smack into each other. The papers that Gandalf had been carrying were now strewn across the walkway. As a very grumpy Gandalf stood up he noticed that his gray clothes were now a dirtier gray and he screeched at the grime and the disgustingness of his own clothes. A Miranda looked feebly up at him and made to pick up all the papers.

"Curse these hobbits. Just when I need them the most, they listen to me and leave for the prancing pony. Curse them." He kept on cursing them and banging his staff on his head until a Miranda stepped up to him and handed him his papers. "What? I am quite dumbfounded; you are doing a kind deed! Is the end of the world coming?"

"Never mind, wait you just insulted me I WILL NOT never mind that. You stupid inconsiderate feeble minded fool…"

"of a took?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

"Don't you never mind me, I will not stand for that you punnie brained…." She continued raving at him while the small hobbit tried to hold her back by her ankle witch was to large to wrap her arms around it, she could only reach half way around. Gandalf noticed that a large crowd of hobbits was gathering around them at the gate, the hobbits were GLAD that finally someone had got up the courage to yell at him, for he caused way to much trouble. Gandalf ushered the still fuming a Miranda and the hobbit who had climbed into a Miranda's sock, into the hallway of Bag End. He had had enough of it. He pulled out the book he had been looking through a while back and opened it to the marked page.

"hump, trump, steal her dump, wait that cant be right…. Oh wrong page. Righty then. (he stood up to his full height of, well tall and read the spell) tip toe let no see for we are quite annoyed!" and poof a cloud of smoke formed around a Miranda and the unsuspecting hobbit. When the smoke cleared, wait they are still here? The spell backfired Gandalf could still see her!

"oh sugar mutton. How did that not work?" Gandalf flipped a few pages but them settled back on the one that he had read, shrugged and for the first time noticed the small creature who was swaying dizzily at a Miranda's feet. He reached down to pick her up.

"hello."

"what on middle earth did you just do you stupid over grow dirty rug?" screamed the small hobbit in her screechy voice.

"pardon?"

"you heard me you are a large conceded overgrown lump on a log who meddles in things not of his affairs" was the screamed reply.

"you sound very much like some one else in this room." He glanced at a Miranda who had begun staring innocently at the ceiling.

"don't blame it on her, you should explain your directions more clearly."

A miranda finally butted in "she followed me home can I keep her? I like her very much she reminds me of someone but I cannot place who…."

"look sorry lady but you must go home for I have business to attend to."

"WAIT!!!!!! She followed me home can I keep her? Please, please, please? I wont bother you anymore, no wait that is a lie. But please?"

And so I end it here, sorry for the cliffhanger but Rina, my muse just went on a vacation to Hawaii because it is warm there. She should be back in… um let me get back to you on that.