"Wait did you say that you will shut up if I let you keep her?"

            "Your putting words in my mouth"

            "Am not"

            "Am to"

            "Am not"

            "Am to"

            "BE QUIET!!!" squeaked the small creature in Gandalf the Blue's hand causing everyone to jump. "I am a person, well no not really but who cares. I can decide on my own. Now then who are you all and why are you here? Come on hurry it up… chop chop!"

            "This is Captain Obvious and I, I, I don't know what I am, no one does, but they call me a Miranda. Please can I keep you? Please, please please?"

            "Now that we have answered why don't you."

            "Huh?"

            "He means what is your name and so on and so forth."

            "Oh I am Rina"

            "Why are you so incredibly small and cute?"

            "I can't explain why I am cute but I can answer the first question. I am a burra hobbit. The smallest burra-hobbit actually. I am a full 2.3 inches tall and proud of it."

            Now those of you are asking what is a burra-hobbit? Well a burra-hobbit is small, very small I should say, for the tallest burra-hobbit stands only 11 inches tall. They tend to like food (but despise mutton that's why their worst swearword is sugar mutton because it is the worst thing anyone has ever tasted, at least to them it is.) and they love a comfortable bed, favoring a hobbit. But burra- hobbits do not exactly like making smoke rings on a pipe with the best southfarthing weed, instead they favor reading in their free time, which they have quite a lot of, which is why even the youngest burra-hobbit can say the biggest words and that is enough to confuse even the smartest men (I have learned that they are easily confused anyways) much like what Gandalf is experiencing with a Miranda. They wear bright colors like royal purple (though none of them are thought to be from royalty), hot pink (wither they are hot is up to you), lime green (love those limes), and tangerine orange (of which everybody likes those two fruits, and if you don't to bad because I say you do… sorry about that my secretary Rina, yes one in the same, loves to command people to her every whim or fancy and no I will not go get your slippers rina) while the hair on their heads tend to be jet black as well as the thick hair on their feet. Walking around bare-foot (who on middle earth would want to wear shoes?) without making a sound is good when they are playing one of their many tricks of the day on the neighbors cat 9and also if you haven't guessed, playing tricks is one of their favorite things to do, besides read). Instead of playing practical jokes, such as placing a bucket of water over a door so that when the door is opened, whoops I gave them an idea. No, they like to throw some of their "magic" at whatever they are playing the trick on and poof! The trick is completed so if you ever see food just appear in your path, don't eat it for it will most likely be filled with jelly or flour that messy's up your clothes, shoot! I gave them another idea. Because of their "magic", burra-hobbits are very good at helping some unsuspecting person in or out of trouble, such as making the door to the village's jail look like a library filled with rare collections (when it is just a regular old jail) sugar mutton! I did it again. Ok so to stop giving those tricksters ideas, I'm going back to the story…

            "Where do you to come from Gandalf? I have heard of you. But never have I seen you, you are sooooo big, are all people like this?"

            "Yes to you we would be but come now tell us about yourself, it has been a long time since we have had conversation with others, but I am not sure about her though (motioning to a Miranda) I think she might have invisible people talking to her in her head either that or she is talking to herself a lot but I think the first one is dead on. Oh sorry about you…"

            "I am the smallest of my kind, and I mean burra-hobbit small, I live in a tree," she went to continue but a Miranda so rudely interrupted her.

            "Oh so your like a squirrel? What? Stop staring at me, at least I'm not a pipsqueak" and a Miranda stuck out her tongue.

            "No, we live only at the base of the tree, usually having 3 or four rooms, I have three." She stated proudly, " Two out of the three are libraries, the other a kitchen/ pantry."

            "Where do you sleep? Ok still staring at me, stop."

            "Most of us, including me, sleep in their libraries, even if they have a bedroom."

            "And how tall are you?" asked gandalf inquiringly.

            "I am a full 2.3 inches tall and would ask the same from you but I only know how to measure up to a foot and a half. Besides didn't you already ask that?"

            "Lets just say that we are over five of those feet and a halves or is it four? Gandalf I'm confused, I think she confused me."

            "And when are you not? And you confuse yourself so be quiet."

            "Hey that was rude. Don't insult my integigenece, or at least what is left of it since I can't say intelliegencee."

            "Hold on, you are intelligent? I have only known you for a few minutes and you are not intelligent."

            "I agree with Rina on this one a Miranda, oh no you don't get away from my papers. You are not going to give yourself yet another paper cut"

            "I wasn't going to cut me, I was going to give YOU a paper cut."

            "you are a (please insert insult here) what was that? You are a (please insert insult here). What the (please insert dirty word here) what the (please insert dirty word here) how come you can insult me, but I cant insult you is that fair?"

            Both a Miranda and Rina chirped up "yes!"

            "I think the author is trying to tick me off again."

            "Once again I didn't know that you were a clock and you deserve it the way you have been acting." Boomed the author's voice.

            "You are a (please insert insult here)!!! ARRRRFFFFF!!!!! Stop this nonsense right now!"

            "Hey I like nonsense, your lucky I haven't thrown my "magic" on you. You have forgotten that I am a very good trickster." Put in Rina.

            "Yeah I like nonsense to, no wait I like insanity better."

            "YOU IDIOT THEY ARE THE SAME THING!!!"

            "You don't have to shout. And no they aren't, and you're supposed to be smart. Me and Rina vote you off of our island."

            "We aren't on an island and, well you two are (please insert insult here) (please insert insult here) (please insert insult here)….."

And so he continued trying to insult them until the author's secretary Rina, finally stopped writing down what was happening. "Rina believes that from now on the author should write down what is being said." Said Rina. "Well what is the use of having a secretary if she doesn't do your work for you?" challenged the author.

"And so now the author and her now useless secretary began fighting leaving this reporting Christmas tree to end this story. May I remind you to review and tell them to stop fighting so I can report on a more important incident, hopefully somewhere else in middle earth, somewhere FAR from them. This is the talking Christmas tree reporting for Middle Earth's boringest news signing off."