A/n: Ok, I've finished my exams now, so I should be updating regularly. If I don't, feel free to send death threats and stuff. Though after this chapter you may be doing that anyway…
Disclaimer: Not mine.
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"Damn it, Julia! You can't still be moping about that guy, can you?" Hayley stomped her feet and grabbed the textbook out from under Julia's nose, waving it in her face. "We have exams starting in a couple of weeks and you've barely prepared at all!"
Julia blinked wearily at her friend. "I just haven't been sleeping well…" she murmured. "Nightmares and stuff." She turned and stared blankly across the study hall, not really focusing on any of the students who were milling around, chatting and studying in groups, drinking coffee and laughing together. She let out a long, soft sigh. "I wish I knew why… Why did he leave? Where is he? I thought we had a connection. I've never felt like that before." Hayley let an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes.
"Wow, Jules had her first orgasm and now she's all hung up on the guy," their study companion, Carrie drawled, mimicking Hayley's eye-rolling gesture. She swung her long legs up onto the desk, splashing one of the cups of coffee and stretched her arms behind her head, causing her breasts to jut out more and several of the more observant guys around to swallow hard. "This guy must be really good. I wouldn't mind meeting him myself," she teased, and gave a satisfied smirk as Julia's head whipped around and she received a fierce glare.
"Do you ever stop thinking about sex?" Hayley asked, rolling her eyes at Carrie this time.
Carrie extended a slender hand out in front of her, inspecting the carefully manicured nails. "Not really…" she sighed, "Why would I? I'm so good at it," she said, smiling smugly across the table.
"I sometimes suspect you might be a man," Hayley remarked, flicking her dark blonde hair over her shoulder and staring pointedly at her friend.
"With these babies?" Carrie responded, indicating her rather ample cleavage and raising her eyebrows. Julia was just starting to relax when Carrie redirected the attention back to her. "You know what you need, Jules?" she announced, sitting up in her chair and drawing one of her knees up to her chest. She leant towards Julia conspiratorially. "A healthy bit of rebound sex!" The brazen brunette flashed a wickedly proud smile at Julia's slightly uneasy expression, before narrowing her eyes and whispering slyly, "and I know just the man." She turned and pointed across the hall at an anonymous group of guys, laughing and chatting over their study books.
Julia's brow furrowed in confusion. "Which one?" she asked, and immediately regretted it. She really didn't want to get involved in any of Carrie's schemes. They were nearly always for her benefit alone.
"Well, William, of course!" Carrie cried, arching a brow at Julia like she was a total idiot.
"Uhh…" Julia groaned, peering at the group and trying to think of anyone called William.
Carrie shook her head in disgust. "Tall? Sandy hair, broad shoulders? He's perfect for you, very academic, and we all know what a swot you are."
"And of course this has nothing to do with the fact that you have designs on his best friend Tom, does it?" Hayley stated cynically.
Ignoring her, Carrie leaped out of her seat and grabbed Julia roughly by the arm. "Come on, I'll introduce you!" she said, dragging Julia towards the group before she could protest.
After half an hour of awkward chatting Hayley had managed to rescue Julia from Carrie's clutches, and Julia was extremely thankful, as they headed back to their room together. Even though William had seemed ok, Julia just wasn't in the mood for being set up. She wasn't that sure of Carrie's choice of man either. It was definitely to suit Carrie's needs, rather than anything to do with Julia, as Hayley had correctly guessed. William was perfectly polite and well spoken, and he did seem clever. There was just something… superficial about him, and Julia couldn't see herself ever being interested. Besides, she was still hoping Hwoarang would show up any minute to sweep her off her feet. Maybe Carrie was right. Perhaps she should find another guy to take her mind of things. But she wasn't ready yet. She needed to cling on to the hope of Hwoarang for a little longer. 'I could go and look for him,' she thought to herself. 'Like Xiao is looking for Jin.' That was what she would do. She'd hunt him down and make him love her. She wouldn't cave in to the tortuous mocking of the demon in her dreams.
As they rounded the corner into the corridor where their room was, they heard the loud trilling of the phone and saw Kate from the room next door standing outside their room looking quite annoyed. "Hayley, your damn phone's been ringing off the hook for hours, where the hell have you been?" she barked, as they approached.
"Oh, I'm really sorry!" Hayley said, struggling to put her key in the lock. "I wonder who it could be," she frowned, shoving the door open and leaping across the room to the phone.
"Well, whoever it is, you can tell them to shove off, my ears are going to be ringing for days now," Kate grumbled, letting herself back into her own room.
"Hello?" Hayley said, grabbing the phone. "Who? What? Oh, wait a sec." She turned to face Julia, a frown on her face. "It's for you. Sounds like an international line, the connection isn't that good."
Julia's heart did a little flip as she came and took the receiver. Could it be? "Hello?" she whispered cautiously. "Xiaoyu, hi. Are you ok?" She listened as her friend took a few heaving breaths down the crackling phone line.
"Jules, I've been trying to call you all day," Xiaoyu went on, once she'd composed herself. "I have to tell you something." Julia felt a strange churning in the pit of her stomach. There was something very unpleasant about Xiaoyu's tone. She waited in silence for her friend to continue, knowing it would be bad. "It's about Hwoarang," Xiaoyu whispered, her voice trembling over the line. Julia felt the thudding of her heart soften, taking on a soft, slow pulse, right in the very core of her chest. "It was in the Hong Kong news," Xiaoyu went on. "The Korean military were here. They… they…" She gulped back a sob. "They shot an AWOL soldier at the harbour, killed him." Xiaoyu blinked back the tears that were stinging at the back of her eyes. "The witnesses… they said he had red hair. That they'd tracked him from Tokyo. I'm so sorry, Julia!" Xiaoyu listened to the silence on the other end of the phone, before she heard a small click, and the dial tone rang in her ears.
"Julia? Are you alright?" Hayley looked at her friend with concern.
Julia put down the phone silently and turned to her roommate with a deadpan expression. "I'm fine." Her voice was monotone, and emotionless, and Hayley felt an uneasy squirming inside at the sound of it. Whatever this was, it was bad. Picking her jacket up off the bed, Julia headed towards the door. "I'm going up to the reservation. I feel like riding," she stated, in the same dead voice, closing the door carefully behind her on her way out. Hayley looked from the shut door to the phone and back again. She swallowed uncomfortably, unsure what to do.
"Hey Julia, where you going? I was just gonna see if you fancied going for a drink," William called after her as she marched briskly past him in the entrance and headed across the car park to her beat up old jeep. He frowned and scratched his head as she pulled out of the lot, sending a shower of gravel spraying into the air. "That was rude."
Julia was only vaguely aware of William's voice in the background as she left the building. The roads all seemed to merge into one on the journey up to the reserve. She was equally unobservant of the cries of "Julia! We didn't think you'd be here until the weekend!" when she hopped out of the jeep at the ranch and made her may blindly to the stables.
"I'm going to take Tantrum out for a ride," she told the stable girl, briskly, pulling the horse's saddle off a hook in the tack room.
"Oh, hey Julia, I didn't think you'd be here until Saturday. Have you seen your mothe…" the girl trailed off, peering more closely at Julia. "Are you alright, Julia?"
"I'm fine," Julia answered flatly, and when she turned to face the girl and saw her concerned expression, she gave her a firm smile. This seemed to satisfy the girl, and moved to let Julia go to the horse.
The girl frowned at the retreating back of the older girl. "It's a nice day for it!" she called after her, a strange feeling of unease coming over her.
As Julia led Tantrum out into the yard and prepared to get into the saddle, Randall, an older man who worked teaching riding at the ranch came over from talking with the stable girl. "Hello there Julia," he said, studying her face carefully. "Going for a ride, are you?"
"Yes," she replied abruptly, turning her back on him.
"Fancy some company?" he suggested, placing a hand firmly on her shoulder.
"No, thank you."
"You sure? There isn't anything you'd like to talk about, is there?" He looked deep into her eyes, worry etched on his face.
"No," Julia told him. "I just… need some fresh air. To clear my head." Without waiting for his response she swung herself up onto the horse's back and rode out of the stable yard, breaking into a canter as she headed up the track away from the ranch and out into the Arizona wilderness.
It was a beautiful day, and the sun beat warmly down on her back as she headed onto the reservation. Birds sang sweetly in the trees and insects buzzed and hummed in the hot air. But Julia was deaf and blind to all of it. All she felt was the drumming of Tantrum's hooves on the soft dirt and the pounding of her aching heart. She urging the horse on, letting the force of the wind against her cheeks blow all her thoughts from her head, numbing her to the core. She squeezed her eyes shut, just feeling the sensation of speed, the rocky, bumpy gait of the animal as it galloped up the hill, picking up its feet to go over thick roots, through scrub bushes and over rocky ground. She didn't care where she was going, allowing Tantrum to choose his own path.
Unexpectedly, Julia found herself thrown forwards in the saddle as the horse came to a sudden halt, slamming his hooves hard into the ground, and reversing. Julia's eyes flew open, and she was blinded by the bright desert sun as the horse reared, throwing her from the saddle. With a sickening thud she hit the ground, pain shooting through her skull as she hit a rock. Disorientated and in great pain, Julia rolled over onto her side, the loud drumming of hooves and the screaming of the horse fading to nothing behind her, and for a last second her eyes focused on what had scared her mount. The snake watched her sleepily, a low, cruel rattling filling her ears, before it turned and slithered away into the undergrowth. Letting out a long, painful sigh, she let the darkness consume her.
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A/n: I realise that this chapter and the last have been rather heavy on angst and drama etc. but don't worry. The last couple of chapters should be easier going. And they should be done a lot quicker too.
