Breaking Promises
Part - 13
Carter
I thought that I could protect her, protect her from all the heartache and evil in the world, but I guess I was wrong. Things were just starting to go right. Both for me and for her. I had finally managed to conquer the nightmares, the many flashbacks and the pain that was thrust at me on that Valentines Day. But I didn't do it alone. Abby was there with me, without her, I would still be trapped, trapped in the never-ending cycle of horror. She helped me break free, she's the reason I broke free. She has given me a new lease of life, and she's part of it. But now I'm faced with the possibility of living the rest of my life without her. I can't think about that, I just can't imagine life without her. She is my life.
Things had just started going right for her too. Maggie went back home a few months ago, and despite Abby's concerns, I think that she's really trying. She's stayed on her meds and even got a part- time job. The pay isn't brilliant, but that's not the point. The point is that she's trying to stay on top of things. And then there's her drinking. I somehow managed to convince her to go to an AA meeting, and she hasn't looked back since. Every time she has the urge to drink she comes to me. I guess she finally realized that the world isn't always a bad place, and that the answer to her problems isn't at the bottom of a bottle. It was hard to convince her that, especially after Brian. And that was another problem that we conquered. She tried to mask her fear, make out that she was alright. But her drinking gave it all away. After 5 years of being sober, there had to be something that had caused her to start drinking heavily. I guess that drinking was her way of dealing with the attack, dealing with the realization that she wasn't invincible. I suppose that it was her way of trying to hide the vulnerability that she didn't want to admit, to herself or anyone else. But like I said we managed to overcome that. It was a struggle, but we did it, and now life was finally starting to go our way, well at least 24 hours ago it was.
I thought that I could protect her from all the evil in the world. After Brian attacked her, I made her a promise. A promise that I wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. And up until now, I had kept that promise. But I was only looking at one type of evil, the ones that humans inflicted on the world. I never, for one moment, thought that something like this would happen, where it would not be a human to take her life, but a silent, natural evil that could not be protected against or overcome.
I look around me only to see people in the same situation, where they too are losing a loved one, or have already suffered a loss. I have already been told about the death of Randi, and how close I came to it. But that hasn't, well not for the moment at least changed my outlook on life. I don't have the energy to think about any of that. All I can think about is Abby, and how I am going to spend the rest of my life without her. It is inevitable, or so I am told. And no matter how much I try to fight of these thoughts, try to convince myself that everything is going to be alright, I know I am wrong. I am a Doctor, and I know the facts.
I knew from the moment that Susan entered the ward that something had happened. The expression on her face said it all. I could feel the knot in my stomach tighten. I knew something bad had happened, I just didn't realize how bad. Her words were like a knife slicing through me. It took a moment for the horror of what was happening to register. As soon as it did, I could feel part of me start to fade away. I could see the pain taking its toll on Susan too. I could see her eyelids struggle to stay open with the heavy weight of tears baring down on them, yet even though we've been friends for years, she held them back. But I suppose I did the same. It was only when she left the room that I allowed the emotion to surface.
I can't believe this is happening. After all we have been through, after all the battles that we fought to win. We worked hard to get to where we were today, and now it's being taken away. I can't bare the thought of not being with her. I've finally found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and she's being taken away from me.
They won't let me go and see her, they say it's too much of a risk. I don't care about risks right now, all I care about is Abby. She's dying, and they won't even let me spend the last few hours with her. For god sake, it might not even be hours. She could be dead already, and I wouldn't know about it. I let a tear escape from my heavy eyelids, and feel the stinging trail that it leaves as slides down my face. The stinging is a painful reminder that it isn't a nightmare. Abby really is dying. And I'm not with her. She's dying just the way she lived: alone. That was another promise that I made her, and another that I am breaking. I promised that I wouldn't let her die alone, but I am powerless to keep that promise. If I go out there, then I risk infecting more people, more friends. Oh God what do I do? I silently pray, desperate for an answer. I can't let her die alone. I can't break that promise, I won't break that promise.
Well there ya go that's part 13 over. Part 14 will be here in a while ( I chose my words carefully then!!!) Still haven't got my IP sorted yet, but it will be done soon!! Just watch this space!!! (again) Thanx for reading
Rainbow345uk
Part - 13
Carter
I thought that I could protect her, protect her from all the heartache and evil in the world, but I guess I was wrong. Things were just starting to go right. Both for me and for her. I had finally managed to conquer the nightmares, the many flashbacks and the pain that was thrust at me on that Valentines Day. But I didn't do it alone. Abby was there with me, without her, I would still be trapped, trapped in the never-ending cycle of horror. She helped me break free, she's the reason I broke free. She has given me a new lease of life, and she's part of it. But now I'm faced with the possibility of living the rest of my life without her. I can't think about that, I just can't imagine life without her. She is my life.
Things had just started going right for her too. Maggie went back home a few months ago, and despite Abby's concerns, I think that she's really trying. She's stayed on her meds and even got a part- time job. The pay isn't brilliant, but that's not the point. The point is that she's trying to stay on top of things. And then there's her drinking. I somehow managed to convince her to go to an AA meeting, and she hasn't looked back since. Every time she has the urge to drink she comes to me. I guess she finally realized that the world isn't always a bad place, and that the answer to her problems isn't at the bottom of a bottle. It was hard to convince her that, especially after Brian. And that was another problem that we conquered. She tried to mask her fear, make out that she was alright. But her drinking gave it all away. After 5 years of being sober, there had to be something that had caused her to start drinking heavily. I guess that drinking was her way of dealing with the attack, dealing with the realization that she wasn't invincible. I suppose that it was her way of trying to hide the vulnerability that she didn't want to admit, to herself or anyone else. But like I said we managed to overcome that. It was a struggle, but we did it, and now life was finally starting to go our way, well at least 24 hours ago it was.
I thought that I could protect her from all the evil in the world. After Brian attacked her, I made her a promise. A promise that I wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. And up until now, I had kept that promise. But I was only looking at one type of evil, the ones that humans inflicted on the world. I never, for one moment, thought that something like this would happen, where it would not be a human to take her life, but a silent, natural evil that could not be protected against or overcome.
I look around me only to see people in the same situation, where they too are losing a loved one, or have already suffered a loss. I have already been told about the death of Randi, and how close I came to it. But that hasn't, well not for the moment at least changed my outlook on life. I don't have the energy to think about any of that. All I can think about is Abby, and how I am going to spend the rest of my life without her. It is inevitable, or so I am told. And no matter how much I try to fight of these thoughts, try to convince myself that everything is going to be alright, I know I am wrong. I am a Doctor, and I know the facts.
I knew from the moment that Susan entered the ward that something had happened. The expression on her face said it all. I could feel the knot in my stomach tighten. I knew something bad had happened, I just didn't realize how bad. Her words were like a knife slicing through me. It took a moment for the horror of what was happening to register. As soon as it did, I could feel part of me start to fade away. I could see the pain taking its toll on Susan too. I could see her eyelids struggle to stay open with the heavy weight of tears baring down on them, yet even though we've been friends for years, she held them back. But I suppose I did the same. It was only when she left the room that I allowed the emotion to surface.
I can't believe this is happening. After all we have been through, after all the battles that we fought to win. We worked hard to get to where we were today, and now it's being taken away. I can't bare the thought of not being with her. I've finally found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and she's being taken away from me.
They won't let me go and see her, they say it's too much of a risk. I don't care about risks right now, all I care about is Abby. She's dying, and they won't even let me spend the last few hours with her. For god sake, it might not even be hours. She could be dead already, and I wouldn't know about it. I let a tear escape from my heavy eyelids, and feel the stinging trail that it leaves as slides down my face. The stinging is a painful reminder that it isn't a nightmare. Abby really is dying. And I'm not with her. She's dying just the way she lived: alone. That was another promise that I made her, and another that I am breaking. I promised that I wouldn't let her die alone, but I am powerless to keep that promise. If I go out there, then I risk infecting more people, more friends. Oh God what do I do? I silently pray, desperate for an answer. I can't let her die alone. I can't break that promise, I won't break that promise.
Well there ya go that's part 13 over. Part 14 will be here in a while ( I chose my words carefully then!!!) Still haven't got my IP sorted yet, but it will be done soon!! Just watch this space!!! (again) Thanx for reading
Rainbow345uk
