Keeping a Promise

Part - 16



Carter

As soon as Susan entered the room, I knew that there was little hope left. She told me of Abby's condition, and that there wasn't anything left to try. Well almost. She thought that if I was with her, if I talked to her, it might make a difference, it might in someway help her. All I could do was hope that it would. I can't bare thinking of living my life without her. It has to work, there's no way that I can go on if it doesn't.

I have no idea how Susan managed to get me down here. I had asked, begged the Doctor upstairs to let me, but I was denied every time, told that I was too much of a risk. I will forever be in Susan's debt.

I look up at the clock, it's almost 3 in the morning. I shift my gaze to the heart monitor, the jagged line slowly passing across the screen a welcome sign, although the constant slow thumps that echo around the room are something that I would rather not hear. I know deep down that the inevitable is going to happen, that the jagged line will soon become level, and that the constant beats will merged into one long monotonous hum. One that will pierce my heart.

I take her hand in mine, and whisper to her how much I love her. I want her to know that I am here, I want her to know that I'm not letting her die alone, that I'm not going to break another promise. I turn my head and look towards Kerry. I see the tears escape from her eyes, as they roll down her cheeks. She makes no effort to conceal her grief. I tell from the immense sadness in her eyes that she still blames herself. But there is nothing that I can do, nothing that I can say, that will change that. I don't think that there is anything that anyone can do or say that will change that. That guilt will be with her forever.

I fix my stare once again on Abby, my Abby. It's hard to recognise her through all the tubes and equipment. The only recognisable signs being her soft, brown hair and of course her unmistakable blue scrubs. I rest my head on her chest, allowing it to rise and fall with each of her breaths. And that's when I finally give in to my anguish, allowing the tears that have been building up to feely escape. I close my eyes, and silently pray.

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