Chapter Thirty-Six Part One:
"What do you think, Isabel? Should we run them off like Liz did their friend?" Maria asked staring at Michelle and Karen.
"I leave you guys for a second and all hell breaks loss."
Isabel and Maria swiftly turned towards Alex a surprised expression on their faces. "The imprisoned has finally been set free." Maria yelled excitedly making the distances between them quickly and throwing her arms around him. "God…your back."
He held her closing his eyes for a moment before he looked at Isabel. "Yeah…I guess the government will have to do with one less computer geek to push around."
Releasing him Maria smiled. "No one calls my best friend a geek without dealing with me first besides I could have told you military life isn't for you." She said linking her arm with his.
He drew his eyes from Isabel's smiling down into her face. "Maybe you should have told my father that before hand it would have saved me months of aggravation."
"Next time promise, God… I missed you." She grinned.
"I missed you to." He pulled her back into his arms holding her close to him.
Michael stopped half way through the back door placing the CD player on the steps as he flipped through the CD's in his hands. "Maria…get over here." He yelled frowning as his hand rapidly moved through the stack of disk. "I didn't pack these. Where are the damn CD's I packed. Maria get over here now!"
Pulling away from Alex, Maria shook her head. "As you can see nothings changed." She sighed staring at Michael. "Okay…okay…give it a rest Michael. I had to make room for my…"
"Maria!"
"God…I was just kidding, Michael."
A feeling of homecoming rushed through him as he watched her walk away. He smiled at the familiar scene playing out in front of him. God… he missed this… missed this more then even he was aware of during his months away. He watched them bicker for a moment before he returned his attention to Isabel. He pushed his hands into his slacks as the silences between them became uncomfortable. "You look amazing as always." He finally said when he couldn't take the silences any longer.
Isabel stared at him for a second longer before she closed the distanced between them quickly throwing her arms around him. Alex was so surprised that he actually tried to pull away, but her hold on him kept him in place.
"Your back." She closed her eyes tears filling her closed lids as she held him close to her.
He stood stunned for a moment before he threw his arms around her. "Yeah… well not even military life could keep me away." He admitted as he absorbed her warmth into him.
"I missed you."
"You missed me?" He questioned as her arms released him and he took a few steps back to stare in awe at her. 'She missed me.' The words raced through him as he grinned at her his heart pounding at what that statement might mean.
Isabel took a deep breath as she stared at him nervously. Squaring her shoulders she glanced around her before she returned her eyes to him. "What I meant…I mean…you're my friend and you've been gone for a while so it's natural that I would miss you." She mumbled as she turned away again staring at any thing around her, but him.
Alex felt his heart plummet inside him as he tried to cover his disappointment. "Friends…I understand."
'Damn… I'm so tired of pretending. I love him. Why can't I just admit it?' She silently asked herself. Drawing her attention back to him she pasted a shaky smile to her face. "I missed you." She whispered.
He looked at her his facial expression void of all emotions for a moment before he answered her. "You missed me, fine. I missed you Isabel." He turned and took a few steps away before she grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop.
"Alex…" She murmured the tears hovering in her eyes threatening to spill down her cheeks.
He touched the hand holding him without turning to look at her. He couldn't look at her, couldn't see the tears he'd glimpse in her eyes again. If his forced military experience had taught him anything, it was that he deserved better. No longer will he play the lovesick puppy waiting for her to throw him a bone. No longer will he shower her in compliments only to be shot down as if he were made of stone and every heartless word released from her beautiful lips didn't pierce his heart. Closing his eyes he sighed. "We're friends. You missed me. I understand." He pulled out of her hold squaring his shoulders as he walked away.
"Damn it, Alex. What do you want from me?" She demanded surprised by the angry undertone in his voice.
He stopped in his tracks at her question. Turning to look at her his confusion marred his face. "Nothing. I don't want anything from you Isabel."
"Don't lie to me everyone I've ever met wants something. I just can't figure out what it is that you want, want you expect from me."
"I'm not everyone, Isabel I'm just me and I don't want anything from you."
"Don't play games with me everyone wants something. Don't be afraid, Alex just tell me what the hell you want." She demanded.
"Stop linking me with the other love sick fools in your life. I won't take the blame for the pain they caused you. I'm not them Isabel. I'm just me." He watched her jerk back at his words as if he'd physically hit her, but he hardened his heart against her pain. "No more…no more." He whispered the words to himself.
'I can't play this game any longer. Especially not with you.' She wanted to scream at him, to scream at the world, but the restless itch inside her couldn't ignore the anger, the challenge dripping with each word he'd spoken. Her heart raced as she glared at him her declaration of love just moments before pushed aside as she reared to the challenge.
"Come on Alex you can do it. Come on don't flake out now just tell me… tell me so that I know what I have to do. Everyone wants something. A little piece of me that they feel they can control. Max…" She lowered her voice as she looked around them at the others who seemed clueless to the heated conversation taken place between them. "Max…he wants me to be the perfect little princess who listens to his problems, always reassuring him that he's done the right thing. Michael wants me to just smile and agree with everything he says. God…I think he'll be ecstatic if I'd one day develop the inability to speak and could only shake my head up and down. My parents… they want a good little girl who fits into the nearer minded view they've deemed the perfect daughter. The men in my life…." She couldn't control the anger that flooded her system from lacing her voice.
"Spare me, Isabel." Alex held his hand in the air as if he could stop the words from spilling from her lips; his brows drown into a frown as he tried to damp down the rage fighting for control inside him. "I don't want to hear about the other conquests in your life." He yelled, glaring at her warning her to stop, warning her that he was at the edge of his control.
"The men in my life." She repeated angrily ignoring him. "They expect me to be this exotic creature, who knows the right thing to say… the right thing to do. God…" She turned her head toward the sky shaking it as she tried to control the emotions controlling her. "Don't be afraid, Alex just tell me what the hell you want." She whispered the words her heart breaking as she thought of how many years, years she'd closed her self off from the only world she'd ever known. Years that she'd closed her heart until he shattered the wall she'd placed around it with one dream. One dream of dancing, of being held in his arms, of words whispered that he never thought would reach her ear. An invasion into his subconscious that she would carry with her until she drew her last breath.
He frowned at her for a moment. "Okay…you want to know what I want?" He shouted at her ignoring the others around them. He didn't care if the whole world overheard their conversation, didn't care if the damn world waiting to take her away from him heard him. "I want to know what you want. I want to know what makes you happy…what makes you smile…makes you laugh. I want to know what makes you sad…what makes you cry. Damn it, Isabel…I just want to know you." The tempo of his voice lowered as the rage inside him suddenly died. "I just want to know you." He repeated in a whisper.
"Alex…"
"I understand, Isabel…I do, why you're so protective of your heart. But you don't have to protect it from me." He turned away from her taking a few steps before he stopped and looked back at her. "I don't think it's a question of what I want from you. I think it's more a question of what you're afraid of. You need to ask yourself, Isabel. What is it that scares you so much, because even knowing how different you are from me I still can't, but love you. I've put my life in danger so many times for you. I've dealt with the humiliation of having my love for you slapped back in my face so many times, but none of that mattered to me. You see I was so in love, so mesmerized by your beauty, by the person I know is locked behind that 'I don't care' exterior you betray to the world, but I can't do it any more. I may love you, but I won't let you run over me. Never again." He turned moving away from her. Each step plunging the nails into the coffin gripping his heart, but he couldn't stop, couldn't return to the lovesick fool he once was.
"Damn it, don't walk away from me." She shouted crossing her arms over her chest. "Alex…" She murmured as she stared at his retreating back. "Please…please don't walk away from me." Her eyes filled with tears again as she watched him walk over to Michael and Maria, watched him laugh at something Michael said as if what had just occurred between them held no importance to him.
She felt the anger humming inside her bloom full forces as she stared at him. 'How dare you walk away from me… how dare you? Who the hell do you think you are?" She wanted to scream at him, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
Darting toward them she practically pushed Maria out of her way as she stormed into the cabin.
"Okay… I'll say she's pissed." Maria said as she stumbled from the force of Isabel's departure. She frowned at Alex. "What did you say to her?" She demanded.
"I think Isabel needs to grow up." His voice held a cold undertone that surprised the two people standing next to him. "The world doesn't revolve around her. One day maybe she'll understand that." He murmured staring at the vacate door.
'Holy shit! He went away a boy, but I'll be damn if he didn't come back a man.' Michael said to himself trying to hide his smile when Maria glanced at him and he saw the frown on her face.
"Is it possible that you're beginning to understand that?" Maria asked softly. When he turned and glared at her she rushed the words through her lips before he could stop her. "I love you both, but Alex you've let her make a fool of you so many times that I've lost count. I think you need to ask yourself what is it that you want from this relationship?" She touched his arm affectionately almost afraid that he would pull away from her.
He stared at the door once more before he turned back to Maria his voice hard and unyielding as he said. "Everything…I want everything."
