Chapter Thirty-Six Part Two:
It laid spread above her, a vast pitch black canvas sprinkled with tiny droplets of light so close and yet so far that she yearned to reach out and grip a piece of it, wanting to pull it into her and embrace the serenity it evoked. She sighed as she encouraged the peaceful atmosphere to sink deep inside her ensuring that she will always carry a glimpse of it with her.
"Hey…you." Alex sat down next to her on the porch staring up at the stars, which held her attention.
"Right back at you." Liz let a smile grace her face, but she couldn't tear her self away from the view in front of her.
"I've heard you've had a atrocious few months while I was away." He said turning to look at her.
"Atrocious… that's an interesting word Alex. I didn't know enhancing ones vocabulary was a part of the military's objective."
"Liz…"
"Who have you been talking to?" She demanded the beauty around her forgotten immediately as she turned to look at him.
"It doesn't matter, right now I'm talking to you." He tilted his head to the side as he scrutinized her reaction, her every movement. A skill the military school had drilled into him from day one, that it had become second nature to him. "What's going on, Liz?"
"It's… it's nothing. Nothing that I can't handle." She forced herself to laugh as she turned away from him. "Come on, Alex. We both know that Maria exaggerates everything. God…she's so good at it that she'll have you believing the world was coming to an end and we were the only one's capable of stopping it." She hated lying to him, but she didn't want him to know. She wanted at least one person close to her to be ignorant of the misery she'd had to endure throughout her life. One person who looked at her and saw her, not the scared little girl who needed to be protected, not the teen who was so terrified of Mike that under his scrutiny the person she became was a stranger even to herself.
"Well… I'm under the impression that this is something beyond your control… beyond Max's so just enlighten me here. Let me judge if it's warrant my piece of mind."
"Alex…"
"Look! I've known you and Maria for as long as I can remember. You're the sisters that my parents never produced, so I think I have the right to know what's going on in your life."
"Alex, leave it alone." She begged.
"I could have went to anyone to know what's happening with you, but I'm asking you, Liz. Please, don't shut me out."
She closed her eyes as she sighed. God…after seeing the emotions her family, her friends had to endure the past few months she knew exactly what he would feel if she told him. Knew the betrayal that will consume him, because she didn't confided in him. Knew the guilt that would overtake that emotion, because he didn't realize that it was happening. The anger that will merge with his guilt, because when it all came to an end he wasn't there to stand by her side, but he was right. After all the laughter, all the games played between them, all the tears shared, all the danger, all the secrets confided or kept concealed this is one secret he had the right to know. And so she took a deep breath and began her life lived nightmare. His only intervention was the deep breaths he took, the gasped he couldn't smother.
For a moment she stopped in med sentences when she saw his hands grip the railing of the porch, his knuckles white from the forces in which he held it. But she forced her self on determined to finish her little story, determined that this would be the last time she would voice Mike's vile attempt to punish her father through her. Oh… yes she understood that now. After years of wondering why it all seemed so clear. After Max made her relive that dreadful incident in her kitchen episodes in her life that she'd completely forgotten drifted into her mind. Comments Mike muttered under his breath that no one heard, but her. Moments where she was left alone with him that he'd say things about her father, about their childhood that never made sense to her. The more she was bombarded with the images of her youth the conversations with her therapist clicked and she understood finely after so many years of blaming herself that she was only a tool used to hurt her father. So she continued her story trying to ignore the emotions she felt rushing through him. She didn't hold back any of the details, details that she hadn't even told Max. Events so chilling that it still stopped her heart for a moment as she relayed them to him. Moments in her life that she knew would push Max over the edge, moments that his need to hurt would quickly twist to the need to kill.
"What did he do?" Alex demanded, his face void of emotion as he stared in front of him. "What did he do to that bastard?" His words were spoken softly, but she couldn't miss the rage that laced each word.
Liz took a deep breath letting it out loudly before she glared at him running her hand through her hair. "I don't need anyone to fight my battles. I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself." She jumped to her feet frowning down at him. She didn't want to feel the emotions he evoked in her a moment longer, didn't want to feel as if she was this poor soul everyone had to protect, had to tip toe around. "If you want to know what he…what they did then ask them. For God help me, I never thought…" Her eyes filled with tears then ran down her cheeks so quickly that she couldn't stop it. "I never thought my twisted life would…" She laughed softly the tears running down her cheeks forgotten as she looked at him. The sound holding a tense edge to it that he didn't miss. "He has enough on his shoulder. I never wanted to…to…"
"Right now I don't give a damn about Max. What did he do to make this right?" He demanded getting to his feet slowing, but his unhurried movement couldn't conceal the emotions he was trying to control.
"Alex…I…"
He closed the distances between them quickly. His warm hands cupping her cheeks so swiftly that the air in her lungs lodged in her throat, her eyes wide from her surprise. Taking a deep breath he pushed his rage into the back-ground as he'd been taught to, bracing himself against the pain, the fear he expected to encounter when he looked into her eyes so he was unprepared for the intense concern emulating from the petite form in front of him. Concern for him he realized. After everything she's been through she was worried about him. He laughed softly as he grabbed her arms pulling her to him. 'This is so like you, putting everyone's needs before your own. God…with everything you had to endure throughout you life how can you be so generous, so giving of your heart?' He wondered. "Are you okay?" He whispered, tightening his hold on her as he waited for her response.
"I'm fine."
"If there's anything…any thing I can do to…"
"Just be what you've always been, Alex from the first moment we've met, my friend."
"I love you." He whispered as he pulled her tighter to him. "And I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you from this."
She held on to him knowing that they both needed to cling onto the strength of the friendship, of the love that had developed between them throughout the years. "I love you to." She whispered.
He knelt in the shadow unseen by the two people on the porch, his body aching from the lengthy immobility he'd forced upon himself. He blinked his weary eyes before he once again stared at them, watched as Alex pulled her into his arms, 'I love you.' His words drifted to him on the slight breeze in the air and his heart swelled with respect for the one he'd never really considered important until this moment. Tomorrow he knew he'd have to answer the questions that she wouldn't, tomorrow Alex will demand to know what they did to that bastard. As he descended into the darkness he couldn't, but thank the God she so willingly believed in, that she had friends that cares so deeply for her. Stealing one more glace at her he didn't' try to restrain the overwhelming need for her that consumed him. Tonight was they're last uncensored night together and he didn't plan on sharing her another moment with anyone.
He jumped up from the seat he'd only moments before occupied pasting a smile to his face when she walked into the room Alex directly behind her. "There you are. I was just going to look for you." Taking her hand he tugged her into his arms as he stared intently into her eyes. "Alex." Saying his name was the only acknowledgment he gave Alex. He didn't want to think about the past few months and he sure as hell didn't want to deal with the anger he heard in Alex's voice when he returned his greeting in the same fashion in which he'd giving it. Tomorrow he'll deal with it. Tonight he just wanted to absorb the feel of Liz laying next him into his soul.
"Goodnight. We'll see you guys in the morning.' He said as he made his way to the stairs pulling Liz behind him.
"Eight o'clock, guys." Maria yelled from the sofa at their retreating backs as she sat up, pulling out of Michael's embrace.
"What…are you crazy or something?" Michael frowned at the back of her head. "I'm not getting up that early." He said pulling her back down on the sofa and enfolding her again in his arms. "And neither are you." He whispered in her ear.
"Okay…Okay, Michael. Make it ten." She yelled at the vacate door then turned to smile at Michael. "I can see the wheels of your brain turning space boy, what exactly is going on in there?" Pulling her head down to his he took her mouth ignoring the two other occupants in the room.
"God… I think I'm going to be sick." Isabel shrieked, jumping to her feet as she frowned at the two lovesick fools on the sofa. "If I have to dwell in this adolescent hormonal infested place with all you love sick idiot's for one more second I think I'll lose my mind."
Alex crossed his arms over his chest as he braced himself against the fireplace. "Stop trying to push your twisted view of love down our throats. If you weren't so consume with yourself maybe you'd see what's right in front of you." He took a deep breath as he stared at her. "What gives you the right to look down your nose at those who gets it, Isabel?"
She turned her attention to him her eyes shooting daggers at him, her chest rising rapidly from the rage consuming her. "Go to hell Alex." She yelled then turned toward the door making her way from the room as fast as she could. Alex followed her, but when he came to the walk way he stopped and looked toward the steps that lead to the bedrooms up stairs, that lead to her.
He sighed as he turned toward the front door and left the cabin his heart heavy with the loss of the one he's loved almost his whole life. For as Liz had captured Max's heart in elementary Isabel had captured his. His heart felt as if it was being torn from his chest as he forced himself to keep walking away from the cabin, away from her. Maybe this was what growing up was all about? Maybe it was deciding what your were willing to settle for? Maybe it was coming to grips with what you were willing to sacrifice to be with the one you love? What is he willing to forfeit to be with her? Was he willing to relinquish his dignity in order to call her his own? "No!" The whispered word rushed through his lips. No matter how much he loved her, he will never, ever again humble before her.
