Chapter Thirty-Seven:

Max signed as he let his body engulf the warmth of the familiar padding beneath him.  Taking a deep breath he embraced the security his bed, his room emulated.  But even with the serene vibe consuming him he still missed her.  He knew that the feeling gripping him was irrational do to the fact that he'd just left her moments before, her departing kiss still lingering on his lips.  But he couldn't control his need to have her lying next to him, his need to feel her warmth radiating beside him, through him.

Closing his eyes he tried to banish his desire to have her body flexed beside his.   God… three nights in her bed and he felt as if he could never sleep without her next to him again.  Groaning, he gripped the pillow under his head, yanked it from under him and threw it across the room.  He'd become so use to holding her and filling his lungs with the scent that was hers alone.  Used to having their bodies intertwined as they drifted off to the land of dreams that the vacate space beside him seemed eerie.  It left a vast gap inside him.  A feeling that had become foreign to him since she'd entered his life, a feeling he never thought he would feel again.

Taking a deep breath he sighed, running his hand over his face as he embraced the warmth of the matrices, forcefully pushing away everything, but what his weary form demanded rest.

'I can be your child.'

The words hit him so unexpectedly that his eyes shot open, his body jerked upward; his head hit the head board of his bed.  His heart seemed to stop in his chest as he stared out into the darkness. 

He closed his eyes willing the unwanted voice to leave him be.  "You're not real."  He cried out his voice a mere whisper as he forced them through the bulge swelling in his throat.  "You're not real."  He gripped the blanket beneath him, beads of moisture dotting his forehead as his body temperature accelerated to a feverish peak. 

"You're not real." The seconds drifted by in agonizing silences as he laid there his eyes closed so tightly that the muscles in his face were beginning to hurt.   "You're not real."  He silently reassured himself taking a deep breath, allowing the much-needed air into his lungs as his body finally relaxed.  Slowly he opened his eyes.  Staring out into the darkness he scanned the vicinity of his room, his eyes colliding with hers.

He stared at her as if in a trance for a few seconds before he jumped from the bed, their eyes never disconnecting.  "You… you can't be real."  He whispered at the tiny image hovering in the corner, her little figure radiating the only light in the room. He gripped the back of his head, shaking it against the dizziness the suddenly consumed him.

She raised her hand beckoning him to her.  "I can be your child."  Her voice so loud in his head that he covered his ears trying to block her heart wrenching-wail.

"What do you want from me?"  He yelled frowning at the little image.  "I can't change the past."  He screamed his heart breaking as he stared at her.  "I can't… no matter how much I want to… I can't."  His head descended until it hit his chest.  He couldn't look at her any longer.  He didn't want to see the pain in her eyes that ripped through him like a blade slicing through his heart.

"I can be your child."  The image repeated demanding he acknowledge her presence, her angelic face marred only by the pain, the terror cloaking her eyes.

"No!"  Max yelled turning away from her the palm of his hands pressed into his closed lids as the pain in the back of his head intensified.  The blood in his veins moved so rapidly that his surroundings were forgotten for a moment and he was once again staring down at her on her kitchen floor.  Her little hands moving quickly to scoop the cereal she'd spilled into a pile.  His heart raced as he turned back to her.  "How can I make this right?"  He whispered, as he moved toward her.  "What can I do to make you…her forget?"  He watched as the pain and terror dropped from her eyes and was replaced with anger, watched as her body began to shake.

                        "What the hells wrong with you?"  Isabel demanded slamming the door close behind her.   She stared at him as if he'd lost every commend sense             he'd ever possessed. "I could hear you loudly.  I might add in my room fast a sleep."  Her sarcasm grated his already sensitive nerves, but he just mashed his teeth tightly together and ignored her. 

"Max…"

"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to wake you.  I…I just had a bad dream….I guess."  He glanced at her before he turned and vacantly stared at the spot where she'd stood just moments before.

"What's going on, Max?"  Isabel demanded not believing for a moment that he'd had a bad dream.

"Just leave it alone."  He didn't want to explain this to her, didn't want her involved.

Isabel sat on the end of his bed, crossed her legs and stared at him, her head tilted to the side.  Glancing at the clock at the side of his bed she said.  "Okay, it's eleven thirty.  I'll say we have a little time before hell freezes over, Max, because that's how long I'm willing to sit here until you tell me what's going on.   If mom and dad weren't visiting the Johnson's in Tucson you'd be dealing with them not me."

"Go to bed, Isabel.  There's nothing to tell."  He sighed as he stared at the corner where the younger image of Liz stood.

"Why don't you just tell me what's going on Max. It's late and I for one want to get some sleep before we have to endure the educational institution of this plant."

"What do you want me to say?"  He demanded as he started pacing the length of his room.

"The truth would be nice little brother."  She swung her leg impatiently as she stared at him; her arms crossed over her chest, her brows drown into a frown.

"I had a bad dream, Isabel. I had a bad dream that felt real, but it was just a dream."

"Max…."

"Isabel, you can't save me from my dreams."  He stopped his pacing to stare at her.  "Go to bed, Is."

"Max…."   She knew he wasn't telling her the truth, but she was so tired.  She didn't want to fight with him. Getting to her feet she looked at the floor then slowly drew her eyes upward staring around the room before she brought it back to him.

"I'm okay."  He reassured her.  He watched her disappear through the door and closed it behind her before he sat on the bed.  Leaning over he touched the back of his head healing the bump that was beginning to swell.  Turning he stared at the spot where the little image stood just moments before.  "What do you want from me?"  He whispered.

He watched her as she stared up at the bright lights in the sky.  From this open space the view was absolutely beautiful.  His heart thumped the wall of his chest as a slight smile spread across her lips as she turned to look at him.  The pleasure in the moment for her stabbed at his heart when he thought of what had made him bring her out here tonight.

"Liz...."

"Can you imagine what it would be like to live on one of those amazing beam of light?"  Her smile broaden as she said.  "One of them can be your home, Max."

"Yeah, maybe."  He forced himself to stare up at the stars, but the knowledge that one of them held the power to vigorously wrench her from his life deleted any joy he may have embraced by its beauty.  "There's something important I have to..."

Moving closer to him she snuggled into his warmth sighing.  "Max, you need to..."

Max threw his arms around her and pulled her closer to him.  "I need to what, sweetheart?"  He kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger for a moment before he said.  "I don't want to think about my responsibilities to a world I don't remember."   Taking her chin in his hand he turned her face up to his.  "I just want to think about you....us.   My duty to the unknown will have to take a back seat for once in my life."

Liz grinned at him then glanced at the open space of the desert for a few seconds before she returned her gaze to him a gleam of mischief glowing in her eyes.  "Oh.... I hear a touch of mutiny in your voice Max."  She didn't try to fight the laughter that started at the pit of her belly and was quickly spreading throughout her body.  She felt at peace.  As if some weird cosmic force had pinpointed her existence and deemed her worthy of its grace, releasing her from all the doubts and insecurities that held her in its hold her entire life.  "I wouldn't want to be in the same room with you and Michael when you make a statement like that."

"Michael would understand."

"I don't think he'll....."

Touching her lips with his finger he silenced her.  "Liz, you and I are so close.  We share something that I've never seen between two people.  It's like we complete each other.  But I didn't see what Mike was doing to you.  I didn't.  Michael..."

When he stopped in med sentence she frowned pulling the hand he held over her mouth away.  "I don't understand.  What about Michael?"

"Do you remember that day at the Crashdown when I took your hand and kissed it and you pulled away from me?"  He watched as she shook her head yes before continuing.  "I was clueless.  I didn't know what was going on.  I just knew that I was losing you.  We were all losing you even Maria."

Liz shook her head in understanding.  "Okay I get that, but I don't get the Michael part."

"I....Liz..."  Getting to his feet he stared at her sitting on the blanket.  "Michael's life hasn't been..."  He drew his hand through his hair as he turned away from her. It wasn't his place to tell her the hell that Michael has had to endure his whole life.

                        "It hasn't been perfect.  I know that."  She said getting to her feet.

"Perfect?"  He turned to look at her, his heart beating rapidly.  He wanted to tell her about Michael's life.   If only to let her know that she wasn't alone.  That there was at lest one person that she knew who understood totally what she's been through, but he couldn't.    He couldn't betray the oath he swore to Michael.  That he would keep his secret.   "I didn't know.... I didn't.  Not until I looked into his eyes and...."

"And what Max?"  Moving to stand in front of him she touched his arm.  "You looked into his eyes and what?"

"I saw you.  In that second I understood.  I was so angry at myself..."

"Because you didn't see or feel what was happening to me?"

"Yes."  Max held her eyes with his cupping her face with his hands.  "I didn't, but Michael did."

"So..." Placing her hands on his waist she pulled him close to her.  "I have Michael to thank?"

"Yeah."   

"Remind me to give him a big kiss the next time I see him."  She said smiling.

"Why don't you save the kisses for me."  Max returned her smile as he brought his mouth down on hers.  Pulling their bodies closer he moved his lips slowly over hers.  Savoring the feel of her in his arms and her sweet taste his heart over flowed with love, the reason for their late night meeting pushed to the back of his mind. 

TBC