~Thursday, May 29~

Weightless, actually do not know where self is so do not have scale, chocolate units: too early. Gaah braindead.

4:00am. Don't know. Just woke up. Gaah where am…? Why is everything smooth and hard instead of. Oh Christ. Bloody Christ. Have been sleeping in bathtub.

Cannot believe this. Have not sleepwalked since saw Psycho. How- GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:23am. In own room (huge relief.) Just woke up from own bed. Comforting though was disappointed was not in… Right.

Who the fuck wakes up at 4 in the morning to take a daily toilet-break anyway? Was lying in bath bewildered when door suddenly springs open and James stands in doorway. Took one good look at me and started screaming in mad fit. Not that fancy James McKenzie or anything, but is v. discomforting when deformed immature male scream at sight of face.

Then starts demanding why was in bath at 4 in morning. Asked him why he was coming here at ungodly hour in morning. Was small awkward pause, then he mumbles embarrassingly, "I come to the shrine everyday at 4."

Christ alive.

Could not think of a thing to say. So managed to croak, "Um… well. I am… app- pleased to see your… um… dedication and promptness."

For moment thought James was about to cry. Felt v. bad so began launching v. long speech dealing with odd unimaginable surreal habits of self, "Oh it's nothing. It's. Um. I came here to um… Don't worry. I'm worse than you. You see, I have to come everyday at… varying times depending on the weather to go to the toilets."

Was aghast at what self had just said. James looked just as, if not more, appalled.

"Um… that is… groovy." He said less embarrassingly but more awkwardly. (Realize is v. awkward subject since is dealing with individual habits.) Then paused. Was sitting there proud of self for cheering him up by wild/mad talk. Grin was wiped off face in a second when he continues, "Except I think you misunderstood. I was talking about my Beatles and Bridgette Bardot shrine behind the small closet."

GAHHHH. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

James starts talking more rapidly, "Not that I will think of you differently or anything. No, no. I fully respect you and your… individualism. In fact I look upon you with a complete new aspect. From a different… light." By then he looked more amused than anything.

Then dawned to me, he's making fun of me. Pushed self out of bathtub in manner of military precision and dashed out of stupid fucking bathroom before a first tear slid off left cheek.

Bastard. Bloody Bastard. Am so upset have been swinging in and out past present tense. Bloody cheeky fucking bastard. Hate him, hate him. I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!

2:00pm. On way out to civilization where can phone Jude, Shaz, and Magda. Bloody cheek.

3:23pm. On phone. Just dialed Shaz's number.

3:24pm. Someone bloody pick up.

3:25pm. Hmph. No one answered. Anyway, just tried Jude's.

3:26pm. No one's answering…. AHA!

3:27pm. Cannot believe it. Jude and Shaz out on shopping spree. Fuck, fuck. Fucking holiday. Hate holidays with immature boys. Ss

3:29pm. Trying Magda. Yes! She picked up!!!!!

"Magda! Hello! How are you?" I cry out, about to initiate a full complaint about James.

"Bridget! Hi! I'm so glad you called! Anyway, I must tell you this before I forget, my memory isn't what it used to be." Honestly. Magda make herself sound as if was old maid. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you WHAT'S YOUR WILLY DOING OUTSIDE YOUR PANTS???"

"WHAT?!" I exploded.

"No no!! Not you! YES YOU! WILLY IN PANTS RIGHT NOW!"

"Magda, what are you do…?"

"NO! NO TOUCHING OTHER PEOPLE'S WILLIES!"

"Magda."

"Jesus Christ," Magda cried, "hang on Bridget. I'm really sorry. But." Was huge intake of breath on phone then hears Magda shouting in background, "KEEP YOUR WILLY TO YOURSELF!"

Some odd screeching. Then, "I DON'T CARE IF IT LOOKS HAPPIER THAN YOURS. YOU DON'T TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE'S WILLIES!" Last part was said so loud had to bring phone two feet away from ears.

Christ almighty what is Magda doing?

Was about to give up when suddenly hears swish sound then Magda breathing, "Sorry about that, Bridge. I'm babysitting for the Underwoods. Oh god. What are they doing now? Look I'm really sorry, Bridget, but I've got to go. Have a nice holiday!"

Gah. Cannot believe Magda has abandoned me for perverted 5 year olds. Right. Think day is enough of excuse to consume large quantities of chocolates, cheese, cookies etc etc.