Chapter Two: A Fool's Drug
Lili approached the door, flat-lipped. She did this every day, and every day it was the same.
"Alohamora," she sighed, flicking her wand without much thought.
The knob glowed a bright red.
Damn, Olivia.
She didn't want to say it: it was…humiliating…
"Gryffindor forever," she snarled.
The door slid open, and Lili pushed through with a grunt, slamming it behind her. Olivia apparently thought this was an amusing choice of passwords, and laughed whenever Lili brought up the subject of changing it.
The flat was empty, and, with a sigh, Lili set down the files she was cradling, collapsing in a chair.
Next time, I get to set the password, she thought, pulling off her shoes and settling back with a sigh. I'll make it something good. She considered this a moment, as she did every day, a smirk creeping across her face. I'll make it 'Voldemort.' Silly girl can't even say that without going through nervous palpitations…
Just as she was contemplating a quick nap, a loud noise clattered from an adjoining room, and she leapt to her feet, wand out. This sort of readiness had become ingrained…
Her mind whirled. It wouldn't be Olivia: it was her day for Auror-training and she shouldn't get home for another half hour…
"Who's there?" she shouted, moving across the room gingerly, not taking her eyes off the half-closed door. Someone was in her bedroom…"Come out, or I'll zap you so hard you'll wish you'd learned a charm for removing your head from your ar—"
A large, black bat came jetting out from behind the door, squawking loudly and hoping to avoid any reaction on Lili's part.
Her shaking heart plummeted, and she wilted against a large coffee table. "Artibius—you scared the living kelpies out of me." She swallowed, putting her wand back in her robes and running her fingers through her hair, still breathing heavily. In her fear, hundreds of different and horrible situations had flashed through her mind: there was no shortage of people who might want to break into her flat…
Artibius landed on her shoulder, eyeing her uncertainly but snuggling against her all the same.
"I didn't expect you'd be awake at this hour, you daft bat," she said, not able to hold her vexed frown long. For almost a year now, Artibius had been keeping more regular bat hours. Lili wasn't sure, but she suspected it was an adjustment to her own lifestyle. She was no longer able to see him during the day, so he opted to wake at night when she would be available to pet him and, more importantly, cook him some food.
He nipped at her finger, sensing her thoughts.
Her tired muscles objected, but her stomach agreed. "Alright, alright," she said, standing and moving into the kitchen with an elaborate roll of her eyes. "I'm making something, I'm making something."
She peeled open the wooden cabinets, eyes glossing over their contents. Artibius deflated with an angry click.
There was a large bag of rice, several slices of bread, a bag of flour, a bag of sugar, a few stray potions she liked to use for flavor, and two half-full bottles of brandy. Olivia teased her quite often about this. I swear, Lili, you don't ever go shopping till the liquor runs out…
"I'll go shopping tomorrow after I get off," she promised, pulling out the bag of rice and, with a quick glance at Artibus, one of the half-full bottles of brandy. "Until then, I'll borrow a few vegetables from Olivia's crisper and see what I can do."
The bat seemed skeptical but nodded, flying off into the other room and settling on the unmoving ceiling fan.
She tapped her wand to the stove and a low fire sizzled.
Now to see what I can pinch from Olivia…The bottom drawer of the fridge was well-stocked as Olivia didn't share Lili's philosophy on shopping only once a month. It was odd since Olivia was, between the two of them, the thinner one.
But, Lili mused, pulling an onion and a pepper out with flourish, stocking ones fridge and eating its contents are entirely different things. In fact, if she was honest with herself, she probably ate as much of Olivia's food as Olivia did.
Behind her, she heard a leaping whoosh of fire and turned, hoping she hadn't managed to set something ablaze again.
A woman's thin-eyed head was staring back at her through the flames, and it took Lili a moment to recognize her.
"Xiao Ke?"
The small, high-cheekboned head nodded vehemently and, over the crackling of the fire, exclaimed, "Lili!"
It took Lili a moment to recover from the shock. Closing the refrigerator door and abandoning the produce, she stepped across to the fire, excitedly. "Xiao Ke, ni hao, ni hao! Ni zenme zhao dao wo a?"
The woman's lips pressed together primly, and she shook her head. "No, please, Lili-a: I am trying to improve my English." Her 'r's rolled by like water.
Lili couldn't help but smile. "It's certainly improved over the last three years. How are you? And really, how did you find me?" She had written her friend several times, but had never given any contact information. Being confronted with faces from her past had not seemed a very good idea: she had done her best to forget the happiness and innocence of Zhong Mo Xue and face reality without looking back.
"Oh, I was doing interview with man at Saint Mungo's: through fire, of course. Too difficult travel so far," she explained, brushing at a strand of black hair that had fallen in her face. "While I talk to him, I ask him how I can find ex-Hogwart student. He tell me to contact Headmaster there." Her eyebrows raised, indicating that she thought herself quite clever. "I talk to him, and he told me where to find you. And, since your birthday is coming up…wanted to wish you good luck. Not talk to you in so long."
Lili crouched down before the stove until she was eye to eye with her guest's head. "Well, I appreciate it. I can't believe you went to all that trouble. Did you get my last letter?"
The woman's head wobbled again, a confirmation. "Yes. Sound like this Herminee is big headache for you."
Lili grinned, vaguely aware of the door to the apartment opening and closing softly. "Yes, well, one can't always be happy in one's work. Besides, I think she'll be promoted soon, so, perhaps I'll have better luck."
But the woman's head was craning, looking to see who was stalking past in the background. "Ta shi shei a?"
Lili turned, glancing perfunctorily. "Ah, shi wo de tongwu, Olivia."
"Ahh."
As if on cue, Olivia strolled into the kitchen, examining Lili, the half-empty bottle, the abandoned vegetables, and the head on the fireplace with a smile.
"Hello," Xiao Ke intoned through the flames, a hand appearing briefly to wave. "I am Lili's friend from China. My name is Ke Yi-yun."
Olivia waved back, looking a bit lost by the name. "Er, hi. I'm Olivia, Lili's roommate."
The woman in the fire beamed and, turning to Lili, remarked, "Ta hen piaoliang a."
"Hey," Olivia objected, gaze jerking towards Lili questioningly. "What'd she say?"
An impish smile curling across her face, Lili merely shrugged. There was no way she was going to tell Olivia that yet another person had commented on how pretty she was. Better to let her sweat.
But it was true: Olivia was tall, athletic, and, with her blonde hair and blue eyes, she was the perfect picture of what every Slytherin girl bristled to see. Except, of course, that she was also fairly civil and, well, she wasn't the perfect Gryffindor by any means.
"No fair, speaking in Chinese," Olivia grumbled, stepping away from the fire and laying some of her things on the dining table with a sigh.
Lili turned back to Xiao Ke, grinning. "Well, how is everyone? I've been trying to keep writing but you know how things are…"
"Ah, remind me!" The woman's thin eyes widened. "You get my present yet?"
"Present? What present?"
The woman pursed her lips, brow furled. "I send sometime back. Early birthday present—Was not sure of address, so, just send it to Elizabeth Lee in London, hoping Dragon Post find you."
Lili was just beginning to tell her no, when she heard Olivia from somewhere behind her gasp.
"Oh, yeah," her roommate said, scurrying back into the kitchen. "I forgot. I got the mail: there was some for you, including this package." She handed Lili a stack of envelopes and a small package wrapped in brown paper. The two of them, having between them no owl and one lazy bat, had bought a private box in town where all deliveries came and went.
"Yes, that's it!" Xiao Ke exclaimed, her smile broadening. "Open, open."
She tried not to act it, but Lili felt quite excited. She didn't get presents often, and she couldn't believe her old friend would have gone to all the trouble. She ripped at the paper excitedly.
It was a book. Its title was both in Chinese and English, and, at once, Lili recognized it. "Oh, Li Bai. It's wonderful."
Xiao Ke smiled, her thin eyes gleaming, satisfied. "Yes, I saw it in shop few weeks ago and think of you. I remember how you love his poetry and how you say you are missing Chinese book. And my thinking is this quite beautiful edition. So, happy birthday."
It was indeed quite beautiful, bound between pale green covers, sweeping calligraphy with English translations of every page. She was overcome with the urge to embrace her friend, but realized that scorching herself on the fire would be a bit foolish. "Thank you so much. I can't wait to read it."
Her friend's smile softened, eyes turning up slightly with happiness. "You are welcome, Lili. We have missed you. You must come visit sometime."
She forced a smile, an aching deep in the pit of her heart. If only she could go back: her old life, her old friends were waiting for her there. Friends…they were a distant memory.
"Well, hopefully I'll be able to sometime," she sighed. "And maybe if you can manage that job at Saint Mungo's…"
Xiao Ke's dark eyes twinkled. "Oh, I too qualified for that job. But, we'll see." The head in the fire turned and snapped something softly. When she turned back, her grin was apologetic. "Oh, sorry, Lili. Must go. Roommate not happy to have me use fire so late. Good talking to you."
Lili nodded, unwilling to see her go. "Of course. It's good talking to you. And," she added, shaking her finger with mock-scolding, "now that you know where I live, I expect more calls like this."
Xiao Ke nodded, trying to feign fearful obedience. "Oh, I know better than to mess with you, Lili-a," she laughed, smiling. "I call again soon. Shengri kuai le, wo hao pengyou."
"Xie xie," Lili said, standing. "And I hope your roommate isn't too upset…"
The woman rolled her eyes then disappeared.
Lili was left looking straight into the flames, heat just beginning to register on her face.
And that was how all her memories or dreams of Zhong Mo Xue ended: jerked back into the chill of reality, her stomach leaden, twinge of regret gnawing at her heart.
She fingered the book a moment before tapping the fire again, giving up momentarily on dinner. Sadness and nostalgia threatening, she grabbed the bottle of brandy and did her best to brush away thoughts of Zhong Mo Xue, concentrating on the envelopes still gripped loosely in her hand.
"Nice girl," Olivia said from the table where she sat reading through her mail. "Hard to imagine a Slytherin having such decent friends."
An insult jumped into Lili's mind, but she dismissed it, as she often did with Olivia. She spent the whole day insulting Hermione, and, most of the time, her heart simply wasn't in it after hours. She lobbed an advertisement across the room, landing it in the waste bin. Olivia watched and awarded her an impressed nod.
"How was Auror-training?" Lili took a seat at the table, not really listening as the story was almost always the same.
Olivia sighed, drumming her fingers on the table and pushing the rest of her mail away. "Oh, well, you can guess. I'm going to need a few more of those anti-depressant potions, by the way."
Lili arched an eyebrow, but didn't look up from her Gringotts statement. "Those things can be addictive you know," she said, folding the paper and fitting it back in its envelope. "What went wrong?"
Her roommate leaned forward, resting her head on her hand grimly. "Oh, well, Mad-eye Moody was there again today, instructing us on the use of Displacement charms, you know in terms of moving threats or disarming or what have you."
Lili nodded.
"So we were supposed to use this charm on Moody, displacing him from behind a tree to a spot closer and more vulnerable," she continued, clicking her tongue a little in disgust. "Well, you know how I am around Mad-eye Moody: got all flustered. Reversed the letters a bit." She sighed. "And, apparently, when you rearrange the letters in this particular displacement charm, it, er, displaces a person's toes and reattaches them to his—forehead."
Lili looked up, jaw dropped. "You mean—no—you didn't!"
"Uh, well," Olivia smiled wanly. "I sort of gave Mad-eye Moody a new look."
As hard as she tried, Lili couldn't help but release a few half-stifled laughs.
"Yeah, I wish he had thought it was funny," Olivia said, picking her head up glaring at Lili. "Unfortunately, when half his feet were, er, displaced and reattached to his head, he sort of lost his balance, fell flat on his face, and—well, broke one of his newly reattached toes."
Lili had to push her lips together painfully to avoid laughing again.
"It's okay, I know it's funny," Olivia said, waving her hand loosely. "It's just, well, I'm starting to wonder if I should even kid myself with this Auror thing. I mean, three years of training? I'm starting to see people I graduated Hogwarts with teaching my classes."
Lili swallowed her amusement, returning to the mail, uncomfortable. She wasn't good at this sort of thing: consoling Olivia after such incidents. Frankly, she was merely astonished that someone could botch a simple charm that badly; but she was pretty sure this thought wouldn't help matters much.
"I'm going to be working at that damn café the rest of my life." She looked up, opening her mouth to continue, but, spying Lili's discomfiture, merely cleared her throat. "Well, anyway; I guess I'll just have to do better next time." She went back to examining her mail in silence.
Lili hated to admit it, but she had begun to feel sorry for Olivia. Though the young woman actually enjoyed her day job at a Muggle coffee house (which was something Lili still couldn't comprehend), she truly had her heart set on being an Auror. It was her dream, and she pursued it with a renowned if not overtly mocked tenacity.
In fact, Olivia's track-record in Auror-training was so poor that it had become
quite an ongoing joke in the Circle: the would-be Auror who lived in the same
flat as a Death Eater. Lili had to admit, the girl, while intelligent,
certainly didn't have the instincts…or the skills.
"So, birthday coming up, I hear," Olivia sighed at length. "You're not going to let me forget this year."
Oh no, she thought, in the midst of a long draw of brandy. It turned sour as she swallowed. "No, no, no, Olivia. I told you, it's not a big deal," Lili insisted, folding open her Daily Prophet and being sure to give Olivia a meaningful glare. Her last two birthdays had been spent alone at Hogwarts and at a Death Eater meeting, respectively. Olivia, luckily, hadn't found out about the "special day" until almost a month after the fact and had sworn not to forget next time.
"I don't want a big fuss."
Olivia smiled, leaning in towards Lili, mischievous glint in her blue eyes. "I saw how excited you were to get that gift from your friend there. You want a party, even if that callous Slytherin exterior won't let you admit it…"
Olivia, if nothing else,
knew how to push her buttons. "Oh stuff it, you damned Gryff," she snarled,
returning her gaze steadily to the paper. "Only you could assume to know what's
best for me in spite of my own bleeding words. I was excited to see Xiao Ke,
not—"
But she stopped.
Two large photographs were moving on the front of the Daily Prophet, and had caught Lili's eye. The first was of a wizard, crying, and, beside him, the second was a familiar-looking dark-skinned witch, laughing and adjusting her bride's veil: apparently an old wedding photo. Lili's gaze jerked up to the headline, heart pounding.
Business Mogul's Wife Missing.
"What? What is it?" Olivia was leaning even farther forward, trying to get a glimpse of the paper.
But Lili kept reading, and they sat in thick silence for several more minutes.
She looked up, face gone white.
"What?" Olivia snatched the paper from across the table.
"Junia Bell is missing."
Olivia's eyes flickered over the words, reading. "Jonathan Bell, owner of Black Jack's, the immensely popular chain of magical casinos, today received some news he hadn't gambled on. " She paused, glancing at Lili before continuing, seeming confused. "Bell's long-time wife, Junia, has been officially reported missing. Mrs. Bell apparently disappeared during a trip to France from which she was supposed to return last week."
Lili thought back furiously, trying to remember faces from previous night. She hadn't even noticed that Junia was absent from the crowd: she had been too concerned with her own skin.
"The Ministry has assured Mr. Bell as well as this publication, that it will be searching for Mrs. Bell and will report any news as soon as it is available. Mr. Bell is deeply grieved, hinting his suspicions that this incident is yet another in a foul string or murders and disappearances some alarmists are beginning to associate with the return of-- " Olivia fell off, looking up at Lili, brow furled. "What? Did you know her or something?"
Sweat had begun to bead in the crooks of Lili's elbows, and her stomach was registering the information with a hot roiling. "Yeah," she mumbled. "I—met her. Through the Malfoys."
Olivia sat back, laying the paper on the table and looking solemn. "I'm sorry."
Not as sorry as I am, she thought, blood draining from her face. She began to feel her insides trembling as her mind chased out the implications of such news. She had indeed met Junia Bell through the Malfoys: at a dinner-party two years previous. Junia had been there when she had—Lili swallowed—been forced to take the Dark Mark. And, she had found out shortly afterwards, Junia was, like Snape and herself, acting as a double agent. In fact she worked directly with Snape, funneling information through him to Dumbledore and the Department of Mysteries. Junia was—Lili paused, wondering whether she should begin using the words "had been." No, no. Not yet. Not until she was certain…
Junia was one of the Dark Lord's most trusted: if she was missing, it could only mean one thing…
"Well," Olivia sighed. "Maybe there's no need to be so pessimistic. Maybe she's alive: you know, just got lost on her way back or something."
Typical Gryffindor optimism, Lili thought, feeling impatient. She doesn't understand what this could mean…
She breathed deeply, trying to calm the blood that was pounding through her veins. Perhaps her optimism wasn't so misplaced; perhaps it wasn't as serious as all that. While Lili found it hard to imagine that such an intelligent and cunning witch could get lost on her way back from France, it was possible that she had run. If she had gotten wind that the Dark Lord was suspicious of her, she may simply have asked the Ministry to help her escape somewhere. Hell, maybe she had taken flight on her own.
Lili hoped, for Snape's sake, that this was so.
Her heavy eyes fell to the final bit of mail on the table. It was an advertisement for Lang's Lizard Lollys, a new treat for—
Lili read no further, standing and snatching up the Department summons to prevent Olivia looking at it. He could be a bit more subtle, she thought, heading for the door.
Olivia looked up, puzzled. "Where are you going?"
"Going to visit the Malfoys, see if they've heard the news," she lied.
Her roommate nodded solemnly, but Artibius, now seated on the table, squawked in protest.
"Sorry, Artibius," she said, giving the bat an apologizing frown. "Can't do dinner tonight."
Olivia lifted him up with a smile and gave Lili a nod. "Don't worry. We were going to order some Professor Persephone's Pepperoni and Pineapple Pizza, weren't we, Artibius?"
Artibius squealed: it was his favorite.
On the other side of the door, Lili wished she could still manage a smile.
***********************
Lang was back to tapping his quill when Lili entered, black guards close behind. He looked even more pitiful than he had that morning, drooped over the papers in front of him, eyes dull. He didn't raise his head to greet her.
Her normal seat at his desk was cold, and she sat, uncomfortable, until he chose to speak.
"I suppose you read the news about Junia." It was the voice of a man who hadn't seen his bed in far too long.
"Yes, just a few minutes ago."
"And I don't suppose you have any idea what's happened to her."
Lili's heart fluttered, but she was not ready to give into her fears yet. "No."
Lang let out a sigh the likes of which Lili had never heard from him. It sounded like a wind, echoing off the gray, concrete walls. He dropped his quill and leaned back, eyeing her over what seemed an inconceivable distance. "You know, I'm tired of having no idea what's going on."
She sat straighter, not missing the accusation. "As am I," she snapped, her hand once again finding its way to his nameplate. "When I read the news I hoped that, for once, the Ministry might have done its job and kept with its people—perhaps might have saved her from some impending danger; maybe even smuggled her away." Her voice, which had begun strong and impatient, unraveled into a hopeful question.
Lang arched a thin eyebrow. He seemed to be considering her for a moment, the way one might examine an animal in a zoo. He sighed again. "No, we've no idea where she is."
Her entire body sank, limbs suddenly becoming leaden and cold. Of course: you should have known.
Words popped into her head, from some distant time. Optimism, Miss Lee, is fit only for Gryffindors and the Muggle clergy: it's a fool's drug…
She wilted in the chair, trying to dam the fear and anger tingling at the ends of her veins. "Well then, Voldemort must have found out and taken her," she said, returning her hands to her lap, suddenly having no strength to hold them up. "Junia's dead."
This seemed to spark something in Lang, and he sat up meeting Lili's eyes severely. "Now there's no reason to assume--"
"My God, Marcus: what kind of a world do you think we're living in!" she yelled, one hand pounding against the desk with a thud, eyes boring into his taut, bronze face with the full force of the anger she'd been blocking up. He doesn't understand anything. He doesn't know what they'd have done to her, what she must have suffered before… She could hear the guards shuffle uneasily behind her, but she didn't care. Her body was filling with heat, and frustrated tears were burning in her throat: she no longer allowed them in her eyes. "There's every reason to believe she's dead and that they tortured her until she told them everything! Do you know what the Cruciatus Curse feels like? A wizard would betray his mother, his wife, his own children to have that pain stop!" She was trembling with hot breath, remembering the only time she'd seen the curse, on a Death Eater who'd failed to take out Mad-Eye Moody as planned. Eventually, the man had passed out and, as far as Lili knew, he was still in a coma somewhere…
She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself. Her mind, instead, went on popping up thoughts of its own accord.
Snape.
Junia would have told them Snape's name—it would have been the first thing to escape her lips…
Opening her eyes, she saw that Lang was pale, mouth barely open, breath coming slow. He, apparently, did not know what to say, but was watching her with smoldering disgust.
She pinched at the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache pounding deep in her skull. Calm down, Lili. Please. Think: don't get carried away. There's got to be some way to think this through…
She swallowed. "Look—Snape might know something about Junia. Have you talked to him?"
There was a slow silence before the gray walls resounded with a familiar, low silk.
"No, Miss Lee. They have not."
Lili spun around, unwilling to believe her ears.
Snape was standing behind her, black eyes twinkling at her ferociously. He must have come in during that outburst…
She was suddenly quite embarrassed and turned back towards Lang, trying to mask her blush. He taught you better than to get so emotional…
Lang's gaze met Snape, if possible, with even more disgust than he reserved for Lili. He seemed at once repulsed and intimidated by the Potions Master, and knowing this made Lili suddenly unutterably glad Snape was there: it was nice to see Marcus cowed, if even a bit. She stood, offering her seat.
"Please, Miss Lee," Snape said, looking at her with the stonily pursed lips that, from him, conveyed some gratitude. "I'd prefer to stand."
She sat back down.
Lang picked up his quill in some effort to busy his fidgeting hands. "We were just discussing, Severus—"
"Yes, I heard." He stepped up beside Lili's chair, and, at once, Lili was overcome with a scent that had once been so familiar. She breathed, feeling the stale spice strong in the back of her mouth. She looked up at him, his hooked nose jutting out sharply from the rest of his face. "You want to know what I can tell you about Junia."
Lang attempted the arched eyebrow he used on Lili, but it was squelched in Snape's glare. "Well, yes."
Snape sighed, wrapping a hand around the arm of Lili's chair and leaning slightly. "I don't know much. I certainly don't know where she is." Lili felt her heart sinking again but steeled herself, concentrating on the slow, delicate movements of Snape's lips. "I do know that she'd been very nervous lately. Apparently she had a suspicion that the Dark Lord knew something. She told me her misgivings a week and a half ago, just before she left for France: she said she was considering asking the Ministry to help her run."
Lang was leaning forward now, head cocked, quill stilled.
"I suspect," Snape said through a sigh, adjusting his grip on her chair, "that she simply decided, once in France, to keep going—to run. I had tried to convince her not to, but she seemed positive that, if she didn't get away soon, the results would be disastrous."
Lili probed him, trying to decide if he was telling Lang everything. It wasn't odd to conceal some things: Lili did it on occasion simply because the Ministry didn't always handle information in the best way possible. On her first tip they had gone after a street-market peddler who had been selling some illegal ingredients which, unfortunately, ended up in some rather Death Eater concoctions. The man had been thrown into Azkaban after what even Lang admitted was a sham of a trial, though it was unclear whether he had any idea what was being done with the items he sold. Lili decided, after that, she would get every possible fact before deciding whether something was worth mentioning…
But Snape appeared to be hiding nothing factual: only, well, something Lili couldn't quite decipher. He was definitely holding back, but she suspected he was merely bottling up the same fear and sadness as she.
"So you think she might have—run?" Lang had taken to scrawling some notes on the parchment in front of him, forgetting, for the moment, to speak condescendingly.
"Yes," Snape said with a frown of disgust. It was the same way Lili had seen him respond to timid Gryffindors who took too long answering simple questions. "I think that's a possibility."
Lang nodded, scrawling madly and seeming slightly more hopeful. "Well, that's certainly better than the alternative: though, if it's true, she ought to have come to the Ministry and explained…"
Snape and Lili exchanged brief and knowing glances.
The Ministry wouldn't have known what to do, Lili decided, if Junia handed them a map and said, "I want to go here." She could picture twenty memos being passed about, and a vote being scheduled for some time the next month. Meanwhile, it was the People who paid: some with their lives…
Lang sighed, laying down his quill and rubbing his hand, thought written across his stern features. "Alright." He leaned back and looked between them, questioning. "So, what are we going to do?"
"For once, Marcus, just for once," Lili said, feeling exhaustion shaking at her limbs, " I wish you had a course of action to offer us and not the other way 'round."
He had returned to his former lofty smirk, leaning forward and meeting her with cold eyes. "This is your arena, not mine."
Snape gave a low growl and removed his hand from her chair. Lili could tell he did not like having to deal with the agent, and she couldn't blame him.
"I'll tell you what we do, Lang," he spat, eyes flashing in an attempt to force the other man to back off once more. "Nothing. We do nothing."
Lang sank back in his seat.
"We wait, and we see how things unfold." He paused, his tone losing some of its bite but none of its muted ice. "If Voldemort got her, we'll find out. If she's run, either she'll contact me about it, or we'll never hear from her again. We can only wait and see."
Lili cleared her throat a bit, and sat up. "I can go speak with Lucius Malfoy tomorrow after work," she offered, looking up at Snape, trying to forget Lang's presence. "I can ask him if he know anything about what's happened to her. It will seem a natural question: one Death Eater trying to find out about another."
Snape considered this a moment, watching her closely.
Merlin, how long it'd been since she'd found herself in those dark tunnels; memories floated back to her, unbidden. She let herself be pinned in his eyes, feeling an odd nostalgia. Two years ago, she had found the shadows of his gaze unnerving: now, it was simply like staring into a mirror, looking at a deeper version of her own darkness…
"Are you sure it wouldn't seem too suspicious?" he asked at length.
She shook her head. "No; I visit Lucius on occasion, especially when I have business to discuss with him. I would think it'd be more suspicious to seem unconcerned."
Snape considered this. "And you think he'd tell you if Voldemort has her?"
Lili nodded, silent.
"Good," Lang said rather loudly, trying to re-insert himself in the conversation. "Good. That will work well. You go tomorrow and report here after. As for you, Severus…" He rushed through the next words quickly, uncomfortable. "Well, I suppose you just keep your, erm, ears open."
Snape said nothing, staring back at the man, dead-pan.
Lang didn't look up to see this. "Alright, you can go." He waved a hand loosely.
Rolling her eyes, Lili followed Snape out the door, guards close behind.
She wished they could have a private conversation. She wanted to talk to him about Junia, about the implications, about what he planned to do if…
But, with the guards present, they merely stepped quickly, trying to make their way to a corridor where they no longer had to be watched.
She glanced up at him as they mounted a flight of stairs. He's afraid, she realized, probing him quickly. It wouldn't have been apparent to anyone else, but she knew how to gauge the downturn of his lips, the sluggishness of his eyes, the slight flare of his nostrils. His shoulders were high and tense, hands balled and leaden at his sides. Most would have taken this for his normal foulness: but it was more…
Finally, the black-clad guards clicked their heels and turned, disappearing back towards the depths of the Department of Mysteries. Snape continued up further stairs, not stopping to pay Lili any mind.
His remoteness hurt her a little, but she chided herself for such childish sulking. What had she expected? A warm hug? A "wow, it's been so long. Great to see you again!"? It was Snape, not Xiao Ke: and surely he had many other things on his mind…
After a few more flights, his voice echoed loud but not severe. "You know, Miss Lee, you needn't accompany me to the Knight Bus. Feel free to apparate from here."
Lili said nothing for a long while, considering the idea of Snape sitting alone on the Knight Bus, gloomy and sandwiched between so many others, boisterous and clueless of his danger…
It was no secret amongst those who were in a position to know such things, that Snape hated apparating. This combined with the fact that one could only apparate as far as Hogsmeade, she supposed, led him to prefer the Knight Bus. Lili couldn't blame him. Apparition always left her feeling light-headed and off-balance somehow.
She stopped and, after a few shuffled steps, Snape stopped as well, turning towards her with a frown and a sharply arched eyebrow. "Miss Lee?"
"You don't really believe she ran, do you?" But she didn't need to ask. She could hear it in the rise and fall of his low, threatening voice.
He opened his mouth quickly, but closed it again, as if changing his mind. He drew in several deep breaths and then continued up slowly, motioning for her to follow beside him. She did.
"No, Miss Lee," he said finally, sighing. "No, I don't. Optimism is a—"
"Fool's drug, yes," Lili interrupted, with an impatient movement of her hand. "But, I mean, you don't think it's at least a possibility?"
His eyes were fixed on the steps ahead of him. "I believe it's a possibility or I would not have mentioned it to Lang at all," he said, lank, black hair bouncing with every step. "But it's not what happened. I knew Junia for quite some time. She wasn't the sort to tuck tail and run, not without a good deal of discussion first. She believed, as I do, that we—well, that we are in a business of importance to others, and that the danger shouldn't be averted from—from nervous fear."
Lili nodded. It seemed a fair assessment from what little she had known of the woman…
"I don't know," he sighed finally, approaching the ground level door with a frown. "Perhaps—well, as I told Lang. We should wait and find out. Everyone must—keep their heads and wait."
Lili knew he was speaking more to himself than her, but nodded, pretending to receive the lesson obediently.
His eyes flickered over her, and, to her surprise, he afforded her a wan smile. "Well, Miss Lee, I didn't expect to run into you here so late, but it was a-- pleasant surprise. I—I think you've done very—" But he stopped, lips dropping again as he reached up to the door handle. "Just don't tip your hand to Lucius tomorrow; he may seem simple, but he can read things better—well, I suppose you know." He pressed his lips together, as if considering but rejecting the idea of another forced smile. "I don't need to give you advice anymore, Miss Lee. You're—well you're on your own and doing—fine."
"Good then," Lili said, not trying to hide her own wry grin. "I guess that means I won't have to thank you anymore, sir." She met his eyes with a steely twinkle but was astounded to see what he returned. It was dark, and churning, and it made Lili's entire body flush with hot blood. He was worried but trying desperately to hide it. His eyes were hollows, and she could see straight into his thoughts and the emotions he was stoppering so fiercely.
"I'll be sure Lang lets you know what I find out tomorrow," she attempted, lamely. Just as with Olivia, she didn't know how to comfort him…
Snape nodded, turning the knob. "Good night, Miss Lee."
She opened her mouth to say, "Good night, Professor," but realized quite suddenly that he had not been her 'professor' for some time. Not knowing what else to call him, she merely returned his nod and disapparated with a soft but echoing pop.
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A/N: Well, let me tell you, this was a long chapter. The chapters, I think, will generally be longer than in We Are the Night, but there will also be fewer of them: at least the way I have it outlined now.
I'm having fun writing this: almost too much fun really. I LOVE the reviews I've gotten. I'm glad people are enjoying this so far. I hope I can give you more to enjoy…
What does everyone think of Olivia? Oh, writing a Gryffindor; it's a challenge. And what do you think of the relationship between she and Lili? I tried to make it a friendship with some interesting ironies and tensions: but, really, at this point in the story, Olivia is her only friend (though of course Lili wouldn't admit it…)
Li Bai is a real classical Chinese poet, and the book will, of course, figure in later.
Speaking of Chinese, let's do a bit of translation here…
Xiao Ke: /shee-ow kuh/ --she says her name is Ke Yi-yun, but in China it's common to use this form of address for friends (xiao + last name: xiao means "little" and is sort of affectionate…)
Ni zenme zhao dao wo a? /nee zuh(n)-muh jow dow wah ah?/
How did you find me?Ta shi shei a? /tah shur shay ah/
Who is she?Shi wo de tongwu /shur wah duh tohng-woo/
It's my roommateTa hen piaoliang a /tah huhn pee-ow-lee-ahng ah/
She's quite pretty(Zhu ni) shengri kuai le, wo hao pengyou /(joo nee) shuhng-ruhr kwai luh, wah how puhng-yoe/
Happy birthday, my friend.
And of course
Xie xie /shee-eh shee-eh/ : thanks
Ni hao /nee hao/ : hi
Wow. The most Chinese you'll see for the WHOLE thing, I promise.
And last, but certainly not least, our dear Snape returns in the flesh. If only you knew what things were in store…
The next chapter will give (alas) be a Snape-free one, but certainly not full or, erm, action. We will, however, see Hermione again…
Oh, and to answer the point someone raised about Hermione being suspicious that she keeps getting credit for work she's not doing, I had thought of this as well. However, I can only assume that Lili, being a pretty sharp one, would know how to do it subtly enough to avoid suspicion. I'd also guess that Hermione, not too dull herself, is probably actually making some progress of her own; so any praise she received isn't likely so out of the blue…
Please let me know what you think…I love getting those reviews!!!!!!!
I've decided to make Sundays my official posting days. So, you will have chapter three by next Sunday, the 9th, which, oddly enough, happens to be my birthday!
Until then, you'll have to sweat it… ;o)
