Connecticut Writers
Chapter 8 – I'm not safe in Stars Hollow
Disclaimer: I don't own any books, movies, authors, or colleges, and I don't own Gilmore Girls either.
A/N: THANKS for all the reviews! You're the best! More of Talk About Books should be up soon too (hopefully later today, if not, then tomorrow). Sorry this chapter is so short; it was necessary for the story. I promise the next chapter will be longer! There'll be more Jess in the next chapter I think, I just needed to bring Lorelai into the story. Enjoy! ~Arianna
I woke up the next morning and started to get out of bed. Then I remembered what had happened, and I lay back down, wishing I could forget it. I couldn't.
After a while, I got up, took a shower, and got dressed, and I called my mom. I got the answering machine.
"Hey Mom, it's Rory. I'm gonna try your cell phone; if I don't reach you, could you call me?"
I dialed her cell phone number. She answered on the third ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Mom."
"Rory!" I heard noises in the background. "Hold on a second." She didn't cover the speaker part of the phone though, and I heard her talking to Luke:
"Lorelai, no cell phones, for the millionth time."
"It couldn't really be the millionth, could it? Because I've only—"
"Next time, read the sign," he said.
"But Luke, it's Rory!"
"Okay, say hi for me. Outside."
"But Luke, Rory needs to know that I still…that I…"
"Rory needs to know that you would rather talk to her than argue about cell phones," Luke told her.
"Oh, she knows that." She picked up the phone. "Right, Rory?"
"Right…Mom? Could you go outside? I really want to talk to you."
"Okay." I heard her get up and walk out the door. I knew she was glaring at Luke, the way she always did when her phone rang in the diner. "What is it?"
"Well…something happened the other day…" I told her about all of it, from seeing Jess' name in the book in the bookstore and meeting Melanie, to getting to know him over again and finding out that he'd lied about Natalie. I didn't tell her everything Jess had told me, though. By the time I had finished, I was fighting tears again.
"Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said.
"I don't know what to do!" I cried.
"It's okay."
"No, it's not!"
"Are you still mad at him?"
I thought for a minute. "Yeah, I am."
"Is he really upset?"
"Yes," I said at last. "I think he is."
"Are you okay?" she asked gently.
"Upset, but I'll live."
"Okay." She sounded concerned.
"We were just getting to be friends again!"
"I know…" Mom stopped. "Hey…if you don't wanna talk about it, that's fine—but Luke hasn't had any contact from Jess in years…"
"Um…I kinda know why."
"You do?" She was interested.
"But…I promised Jess I wouldn't tell anyone," I said apologetically. "Just…I don't think…I don't think you should mention this to Luke."
"Oh." I knew she was disappointed.
"I'm sorry."
"That's fine."
"Damn it, why am I even keeping my promises to him?" I yelled.
"Because you care about him," my mom said softly. I didn't reply. "Listen, Rory. I really don't think he meant to hurt you. Maybe he was still hurting. Maybe he didn't know how you would take it."
"Well, he should have known! He used to know me better than anyone but you! And I knew him better than anyone else…" I realized what she was saying. "You're defending Jess?"
Mom laughed, rather bitterly. "It sounds like he needs new consideration. He's different, isn't he?" She paused. "It must have been so weird…"
"Yeah, he's different," I said fiercely. "He's really different. He used to trust me! We used to tell each other everything."
"Don't give up," she told me.
"I'll try."
"That works. I love you."
"I love you," I replied, and hung up. How can I not give up? Wait. What am I saying?
Why couldn't he have told me the truth at first? Why hadn't he trusted me? How…how much would he hate me now? Would I ever be able to do anything about it…was Jess okay?
And no degree or classes could help me with those questions. I wished more than anything they could.
I'd been really happy.
There always seemed to be some sort of catch. I remembered saying goodbye to Jess, when he left for New York. I couldn't stop crying. It was one of the hardest things I'd ever done.
My life.
2nd A/N: Since there are no single authors' notes allowed on ff.net anymore, I'm adding this to the end of this chapter…. Okay, I know it's been forever, and I'm really, really sorry… I promise I'll finish everything someday, no matter how long it takes. I can't believe I've been posting here for over a year…anyway, this is the important part of the a/n that *was* the "next chapter." Thank you all for your reviews, they're great, and as unbelievable as it may seem (lol), they do make me want to write more! Anyway…
To Becks (and anyone else wondering about Jess and Rory's relationship in this fic): Don't worry! I am a HUGE literati myself and I personally don't like when Rory and Jess get together but there are still problems, or they didn't resolve something. Eventually this will be a R/J fic and all Lits should be happy. Trust me, I can't write sad endings. lol. There are quite a few chapters left!
To anyone worried about Jess/Natalie: Here's what happened—Rory was upset that Jess lied to her, and she gave him the note and photo and he cried. But: I didn't say Jess was still in love with her. That was just sort of Rory's interpretation…that she had been important to him. I hate Natalie too! lol. I'm sorry I didn't make that clearer. I don't want to say any more about this so I don't ruin what's gonna happen, but please keep reading! I really appreciate all the reviews.
And the spoilers about Jess coming back (I'm not saying he is, or that he isn't)…there are spoilers on several websites now, it's different than I thought it was when I wrote that last chapter…if you haven't heard them and want to, you can check gilmoregirls.org, or email me if you want! ~ Ari
