Chapter 6

The sound of terrified screams woke Alex in the early hours of the morning. Bolting straight up in bed, he was pulling on a robe and tripping towards the door before he'd formed a coherent thought. However, he hadn't remembered that he was in a new room, and though similar to his old one, the furniture in this new room was switched around.

He'd gone no more than two or three feet when he jammed his whole foot into the pointed corner of the dresser. "Ohhh, Oh, sith!" he sputtered as pain flooded his senses. //You're a Master now Alex. Masters don't say sith,// his conscience informed him. "Yeah, well," he mumbled. Where was the Force a three A.M. in the morning? Grabbing his toe, he massaged it while hopping down the hall on one foot. The screams had abated by the time he stumbled in the doorway of his apprentice's room, but he heard her whimpering, and her gasping sobs. He'd forgotten she had dreams. He didn't know they would be like this.

Gingerly he set his foot back onto the floor, then palmed the light switch as he limped passed it. Now that he was actually in the room with Meri, he could feel the absolute terror coming off her in waves. The slight girl had pulled herself into the corner of the bed and was sitting with her knees pulled to her chest. Her chin was tucked back behind her knees, and Alex couldn't see her face for the waves of unbraided hair that concealed it.

"Meri? Are you okay?" He stood awkwardly beside the bed, and as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realized how daft they sounded. Of course she wasn't okay. Not that she answered him anyway. She kept her head buried behind her knees as her gulping breaths slowed.

Alex shifted his feet and absently lifted his hand to scratch a nonexistent itch on his head. He suddenly became aware that he had been sending waves of comfort through the Force and that she hadn't objected. He felt a small thrill of wonder at the progress, no matter how small, and curiously, he examined the thread-like bond that stretched between them. It was so delicate and seemed that at the slightest tempest could be torn asunder.

To cut his height down, Alex knelt by the bed and tried again. "Meri, look at me, please?"

Slowly his apprentice raised her head and glanced at him briefly before the brown eyes dropped. He didn't push the matter of her looking him in the eye. She'd been through enough tonight.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

A firm shake of the head.

"Are you sure?"

Another shake of the head.

Alex nodded. "Well then, if you come into the kitchen I'll fix us some tea. I *do* know how to fix that," his soft lilting voice was filled with dry amusement as he spoke the last part.

At her hesitant look, he said. "It'll help you. My Master always used to give it to me when I was upset about something."

He was relieved when she nodded and he stood carefully to his feet.

"I'll go get it started then. Come in when you're ready."

Without waiting for the answer he knew he probably wouldn't get, he turned and with a slight limp walked out of the room. He could feel her eyes on him as he left, and as soon as he was in the kitchen, he inspected his foot. It had already turned a nasty black-blue color and the skin was scraped off for a good length. He sighed. At least it was only a bruise, and not something broken.

Swiftly he set about making the tea, and just about the time the water was heated he heard the light steps of his apprentice coming into the room. When he turned around he found she'd already seated herself at the table and he set the cup of steaming tea in front of her before taking a seat opposite his padawan.

For the next few moments the small room was silent, the only sound that of Coruscant's busy night traffic. Alex found himself staring at the thick hair that fell around the slender fourteen-year-olds shoulders, and he wondered why she hadn't been made to cut it. Most padawans kept it short. Not really thinking he would get an answer, he decided to ask her.

"Meri, how is it that you have such long hair?" he asked before taking a sip of tea.

His apprentice glanced up uncertainly before she answered in a soft voice. "My...Master had long hair."

"Ohh, I see," he said nodding. Of course, it was only natural she would want to emulate the person she had most looked up to.

Suddenly Meri looked up at him, her brown eyes full of alarm. "You--you aren't going to make me cut it--are you?"

Propping his elbow on the table, he rested his chin in his palm and then smiled warmly. "No, I rather like it myself," he assured her.

He knew he'd said the right thing at the look of immense relief on her face. Smiling mischievously, his blue eyes twinkled. "I'm not a complete ogre, I promise."

Once again, his teasing startled her, he could tell. Her brown eyes widened slightly and she looked at him as though she wasn't quite sure how to take him. He hid another smile behind his teacup and watched her over the rim. After draining the cup, he stood carefully and set it in the sink.

"You should go back to bed. You'll sleep better now."

Meri said nothing, only nodded, but he was pleased to see her take her cup to the sink before leaving. He'd heard nightmare stories from other Masters about how messy some teenagers could be. He himself had always been quite the neat freak.

Flipping of the light switch, he limped back to his bed. The hour was just before dawn, and he knew both of them would probably sleep in after such a night. He wondered if this was going to be a nightly occurrence and the thought was exhausting, but encouraging as well.

Little by little Meri was beginning to open up to him, but they still had a long way to go.

***

When Meri awoke the next morning, she felt more exhausted than when she had fallen asleep only a few short hours ago. The dreams always left her like that. Drained and feeling strangely weak.

Without bothering to tame the wild mass that was her hair, Meri ambled slowly into the main room, her bare feet falling noiselessly on the floor. Stopping in its center she froze and studied the room. Her new Master was nowhere in sight and she finally concluded he was probably still in bed for the sun shinning into the room showed it was still early morning. Quietly she walked over to the window and pushed aside the drape. Transports whisked along in their own separate traffic lanes forming X patterns across the sky. For long minutes she watched the transports racing by, her thoughts far away.

She had always been taught the Force was her ally but lately she hadn't been able to grasp it. When her Master had died it had turned her world upside down and the Force itself seemed to have abandoned her.

A heavy sigh escaped her and her eyes shifted to the sun sparkling off the spires of Coruscant's tall business buildings. Everything about the scene before her said, "life goes on" but for her it seemed to have thrown on the brakes. Her Master was dead, her closest friend was gone and the Force eluded her. {Reach for it…} a small voice inside of her seemed to say.

Almost hesitantly Meri lowered herself to the floor and took a meditation pose. Closing her eyes slowly, she reached out for the flowing ebb of the Force. Time and again she reached for it, but every time she almost thought she had it, it would seem to dance away.

Frustrated she felt the tears rush to her eyes unabated. She couldn't even do this simple exercise that any Jedi could do. She swiped away the moisture from her eyes, the very act managing to show her irritation with herself.

"Let me help you?"

The soft accented voice behind her startled her and she jumped up and turned around in one fluid movement.

Her Master stood before her and at any other time the sight would have been comical. The wavy black hair, which was usually kept neat and smooth, was poking out in all directions. His untucked tunic was hitched up in one spot and his sleeping pants were wrinkly, adding to the boyish appearance.

"I can help you," he repeated taking a step towards her, his azure eyes sincere.

Meri shook her head uncertainly and took a step back; unaware of the picture she made. Standing there in sleeping tunics that hung on her small frame with her wild hair hanging down by her face, she looked the full part of a waif. The small frown on her brow and the brown eyes so full of confusion made her appear lost.

As much as she longed to feel the powerful flow of the Force, its warm comforting light, she wasn't sure she was ready to take that step with him.

"At least give me a try, Meri," he entreated dropping to his knees in a meditation pose.

Almost against her will she found herself matching the position across from him.

Smiling encouragingly, he took her small hands in his large ones. "Now close your eyes," he instructed softly.

She did so, but her anxiousness grew with each passing minute. As soon as she felt the soft brush of her mind, she panicked. Pulling her hands back, she stumbled to her feet.

"I—I c-can't do-do this," she stuttered, her heart racing. She wasn't ready to trust again. The fear of being hurt again was too great. She turned and fled from the room, the sound of her name echoing in her ears.

Behind her, the young Knight sat back on his heels, a downcast look on his face. So close. She had almost taken that crucial step. //Patience. She must learn to trust again,// he thought to himself. //She must learn to trust me.//

***

The rest of the day was taken more slowly. After the noon meal, Alex was sitting at the table cleaning his lightsabre when he glanced up and noticed Meri sitting with her hands folded in her lap, her gaze directed out the window. She was biting her lip in a habit that he had come to recognize as a nervous one and her eyes said her thoughts were far away.

Alex didn't even need to guess what her expression meant. It was only too obvious where her thoughts were. Replacing a tiny piece of metal into the hilt of his lightsabre, he slid the covering back on then snapped it to his belt and stood up.

"Are you up for a walk?" he asked with a smile.

The unexpected voice caused Meri to start in surprise. His question had obviously worked to pull her deep thoughts back to the present. Turning slightly to face him, she shrugged her thin shoulders. "I suppose…" she trailed off in uncertainty.

He ignored the indifference she seemed to have about life and instead smiled warmly. "Great then. Let's go."

They ended up in the Gardens, however, not by coincidence. The Gardens were full of the living Force and Alex hoped that Meri might be able to grasp the Force more easily here than she could in their quarters. He wished he could help her, if only she would let him. Her frustration at not being able to connect with the Force earlier that morning had been almost tangible.

They had just turned a corner on the stone pathway when out of nowhere a small boy slammed into Meri's legs.

Seeing his Apprentice waver at the impact, Alex placed a steadying hand on her arm.

Looking down, he saw a small child of about three clinging to Meri's leg. "Well, hello little one. Where is your Master?" Even as he spoke, his eyes were roaming the Gardens in search of the Crèche Master.

"Don't wan Master," the boy said, his lip sticking out in a pout.

Alex noticed that the child's cheeks were flushed and his blue eyes were unnaturally bright. Kneeling down, Alex felt the boy's forehead and frowned when he felt the heat radiating off it. "Little one, are you all right?" he questioned with concern.

Instead of answering him the little boy gave up his death grip on Meri's leg and snuggled up against the tall knight's chest. Glancing sideways, Alex noticed Meri had knelt beside him and was staring at the child with a troubled frown. Before he could speak, the sound of rushed footsteps was heard around the corner and moments later a young healer he recognized as An-Paj's assistant came jogging into view.

"Oh, thank the Force you found him!" the healer said as a bit of tension drained from his face.

Alex stood to his feet, the now-asleep child cradled in his arms. "Missing something?" he asked with a smile.

Zavian frowned. "Unfortunately yes." Quietly he took the boy from Alex's arms. "Unfortunate for the both of you as well," he sighed.

"What's wrong," Alex asked quickly.

"Well, a few days ago a Master and Apprentice returned from a mission. A few days later the Apprentice came down with a rare strain of flue, it's hard to get rid of and very contagious. As much as we tried to retain it from spreading, it's doing just that. This little guy somehow slipped out of the infirmary without us noticing, and An-Paj is very upset."

The healer glanced down at the boy in his arms. "You see, anyone he has come in contact with must be quarantined for three days."

At the expression on the tall knights face the healer hurriedly continued. "I really am sorry. We don't know how he managed to slip out of the infirmary that way."

"What are the symptoms," Alex asked with a resigned sigh.

"First off, it seems to affect the young more than the old. We haven't had many over 25 come down with it. The worst of it is usually the high fever, but there can also be sore throat and congested lungs. It hits some people harder than it hits others. It just depends on the person."

"Wonderful," he muttered under his breath.

"I'm sorry, but I have to get this boy back to the infirmary. Please, head straight back to your quarters and don't stop to speak with anyone. A healer will come by to check on you every now and then."

Alex nodded his head to the healer and then watched as Zavian hurried away. Turning back to Meri, he gave a lopsided smile. "Well, Padawan, it looks as though you'll get to taste my cooking after all."