Chapter 12 will conclude Part One, but by no means the story. I will start posting Part Two tomorrow night. : ) Part Two will start when Meri is 16, almost 17.
~ ~ ~
Chapter 12
A steady pounding pain in her temples, that seemed to match the beating of her heart, woke Meri from the swirling pool of darkness she'd fallen into earlier. She couldn't see and when she tried to turn her head a sharp knife like pain seared through it and she couldn't help the low groan that escaped.
"Easy, there," a soothing voice comforted. "You've had quite the time of it."
With those words, memory came flooding back to her hazy mind and she jerked as she remembered almost falling hundreds of feet.
Suddenly concern flooded her mind, and she frowned as she felt it. It took her a moment to realize it wasn't her concern she was feeling, but her Master's. "Master?" she questioned weakly.
A soft snort reached her ears. "No, but he's been trying. Trust me," An-Paj's familiar voice said in annoyance.
Meri took this in quietly as she realized she could sense what her Master was feeling and knew he could probably sense her just as well. A strange feeling came over her and she had the overwhelming urge to see Alex.
Raising her right hand to her eyes, she pulled feebly at the material covering her eyes. "I can't see," she complained.
"Here, let me do that," An-Paj said as his strong blue fingers pushed Meri's fumbling hands away from the bandage. "The light will be bright, so open them slowly. You had a severe head injury young lady."
"I never would have guessed," she retorted dryly.
A light chuckle sounded directly overhead. "You're definitely sound back to normal."
A piercing light suddenly broke through Meri's half-opened eyes and she squinted, trying to pull back from the light.
"I told you," An-Paj murmured from her bedside.
"Why?" she asked as the pain increased in her head.
"You've been in a light coma for the past five days, Padawan," he answered as though it were the most common of facts.
"What?" she asked sharply, trying to sit up quickly. At the fast movement, a wave of dizziness so harsh swept over that she almost passed out and a wave of nausea accompanied it.
"Easy!" An-Paj commanded sternly as he pushed her back down on the pillows. "When I said you have a severe head injury I didn't mean minor. You "do" remember what happened?"
Meri paused just trying to get back to the place where the room wasn't spinning. "No, I just remember something hitting me and then I almost fell," she muttered, squinting up at the blue healer.
"Well, that may be all you ever remember," the healer said as he removed an instrument from his pocket and placed the tip in her ear. A few seconds later he removed it and smiled. "Good, no fever."
The strange feeling flooded over her again and she looked up at the healer, squinting against the ceiling lights. "Can I see my Master?"
One of An-Paj's white eyebrows arched as though in surprise at her request, but then a slow, sincere, smile broke out on his face. "You most certainly may, Meri."
***
As the sound of An-Paj's footsteps faded away, Meri relaxed into the pillows behind her and gave her burning eyes a much needed rest. After learning she had been out for five days, feeling sleepy was the last thing she expected, but it was exactly how she was feeling.
The pounding in her temples hadn't lessened and it felt like a herd of banthas was keeping time in a smart march in her head. "Ooh," she groaned softly, wishing for the entire galaxy that Ariana was there to hold and comfort her like she used to.
With that thought, tears began pricking the back of her eyelids and she remembered how she had reached out to Alex in desperation. It had felt so different than before. `His' presence felt so different from Ariana's. His presence was strange, unfamiliar, but at the same time somehow comforting, and warm. She could feel him getting closer now and she was torn between dread and an eagerness she couldn't explain. Squeezing her eyes shut tighter, she wished the pain in her head would stop so she could think clearly. It hurt; the pounding within just wouldn't stop.
The sound of footsteps stopped her muddled thoughts and when she felt the bed sink as someone perched on the side; she knew it was he. She could feel his presence like a shinning light. Opening her eyes slowly, she squinted up at him.
His young face was a myriad of emotions, while his blue eyes studied her, as though looking for any sign that she was feeling uncomfortable with him.
Slowly he reached out and took her hand, and Meri gripped it tightly.
Her brown eyes searched his face desperately, and then she asked the question that wouldn't stop plaguing her. "Did you really want me...I mean...as your apprentice?" Her voice wavered, sounding just as uncertain as she felt.
Alex's eyes flickered, and then his face flooded with compassion. "Very much so," he said haltingly, his voice sounding almost close to tears.
Meri blinked in confusion. "But...why?" The question in her voice was genuinely confused. "I'm not...not worth it," she finished quietly, and then tried to withdraw her hand from his.
Alex tightened his grip on her hand and wouldn't let go. "Don't say that," he murmured. "Don't ever say that. You'll make quite the Jedi knight someday, Meri."
"But....I failed her. I should have been there and I wasn't and I failed her," she said in a rush, as tears began to run down her face. "And this last mission--I wasn't quick enough. I should have realized it sooner..." she trailed off, her tears falling faster, the sobs only encouraging the pain her head.
Unexpectedly Alex pulled her into his arms and held her comfortingly. Though it would normally have made her feel uncomfortable, this time she found herself accepting it as the ache in her head grew with her tears.
"No, Padawan, no. It was my fault what happened on our mission. Not yours. I should have sensed those men's intent. You did not fail Master Caer, either, Meri. You honored her in your obedience. Never forget that." Alex's voice was soft, yet firm and through the open bond he sent all the confidence he felt for his apprentice behind the words.
Meri didn't reply, but allowed herself to be pulled closer in his warm embrace, her eyes drifting closed as the light's burning glare took its toll. She was too miserable to argue, too much in pain...and though she wouldn't admit it, his words had gained a tiny foothold within.
Time seemed to halt and all Meri was aware of was the pain, and the steady heartbeat beneath her ear. She dropped off into a place between awake and asleep, the throbbing ache keeping her from the deep healing sleep she needed. It was more through Alex that she sensed An-Paj re-entering the room, than from any awareness of her own. Although she wanted to, she was unable to gather the strength to move from within the circle of his arms. From above, she heard his worried, soft, accented voice address the healer. "She's in a lot of pain."
From even farther away she heard An-Paj answer. "I know, too much too soon. She won't be after I give her this."
After that, she felt a prick on her arm, and then she felt herself slipping into a deeper sleep as the pain faded away.
|===|---------
"Meri? Are you alright?"
The lilting voice was muffled through the closed door, but the concern was still evident.
"Yes, Master. I'm just getting dressed," she called back, somewhat amused by her Master's over protectiveness since finally being released from the infirmary. In the end, she had to stay longer in the infirmary then previously thought, after An-Paj found a hairline crack in her cranium. It was the source for the headaches and the frequent bouts of nausea she had experienced. She hadn't exactly found it fun to spend her Life Day in the infirmary, however.
Now, though, she was feeling much better, the headaches almost entirely gone; yet her Master still acted as though she were about to fall apart.
Shaking her head, she pulled on her boots and then headed for the main room. Having only been out of the infirmary a day, this would be the first morning she would meditate with Alex with their open bond. She was still nervous, still a tiny bit afraid of trusting, but she had taken the first step.
Entering the room, she saw him already in position, and masking the slight nervousness she felt, she knelt across from him. Immediately his blue eyes sprang open to regard her, searching her face for what, she knew not.
"Your nervous," he commented lightly.
She hadn't really been trying to shield the fact from him and wasn't surprised he had detected it. "Yes, Master. A little," she conceded lowering her eyes to floor.
"I won't force you, Padawan. I'll help you, but only if you want me to..." he trailed off leaving the last comment a question.
Taking a deep breath, she nodded. "I--I do. It's just....hard."
He didn't need to ask what was hard. He knew this was difficult for her, to trust again. He gave her a single, slow nod. "We'll take it slow then," he assured, then raised both of his palms towards her.
Taking another, more unsteady breath, Meri raised her hands as well and placed them against Alex's. She almost jerked back in surprise when she immediately felt the Force spark between them. She didn't remember that with Ariana. Closing her eyes, the fifteen-year-old tried to concentrate, tried to connect to the Force, but as usual, it seemed to dance away before she could grasp it.
"Relax, you're trying too hard," Alex murmured.
Meri let out a tempered sigh, and then did as he said, relaxing the tense muscles and imagining all the stress flowing right out of her. As soon as she had done so, she felt Alex's presence grow in her mind and for a split second she wanted to throw up her shields. Forcing herself to keep her shields down, she allowed him to pull the Force around the both of them. Gradually her fear ebbed and Alex continued to guide her deeper into the Force.
It surrounded them both now, a bright flowing river of light, calming and carrying away all her fears and easing her grief, as she soared on the winds of the Force.
When she opened her eyes, they met the bright blue ones across from her and she smiled shakily. The bond between the two hummed with the energy of the Force; already it had grown from a weak, faint cord, to something stronger, one thrumming with the Force. "Thank you," she breathed.
Alex simply smiled warmly. He was no longer just her Master by title only. He had fully become her Master, and she, his apprentice.
[End Part One]
~ ~ ~
Chapter 12
A steady pounding pain in her temples, that seemed to match the beating of her heart, woke Meri from the swirling pool of darkness she'd fallen into earlier. She couldn't see and when she tried to turn her head a sharp knife like pain seared through it and she couldn't help the low groan that escaped.
"Easy, there," a soothing voice comforted. "You've had quite the time of it."
With those words, memory came flooding back to her hazy mind and she jerked as she remembered almost falling hundreds of feet.
Suddenly concern flooded her mind, and she frowned as she felt it. It took her a moment to realize it wasn't her concern she was feeling, but her Master's. "Master?" she questioned weakly.
A soft snort reached her ears. "No, but he's been trying. Trust me," An-Paj's familiar voice said in annoyance.
Meri took this in quietly as she realized she could sense what her Master was feeling and knew he could probably sense her just as well. A strange feeling came over her and she had the overwhelming urge to see Alex.
Raising her right hand to her eyes, she pulled feebly at the material covering her eyes. "I can't see," she complained.
"Here, let me do that," An-Paj said as his strong blue fingers pushed Meri's fumbling hands away from the bandage. "The light will be bright, so open them slowly. You had a severe head injury young lady."
"I never would have guessed," she retorted dryly.
A light chuckle sounded directly overhead. "You're definitely sound back to normal."
A piercing light suddenly broke through Meri's half-opened eyes and she squinted, trying to pull back from the light.
"I told you," An-Paj murmured from her bedside.
"Why?" she asked as the pain increased in her head.
"You've been in a light coma for the past five days, Padawan," he answered as though it were the most common of facts.
"What?" she asked sharply, trying to sit up quickly. At the fast movement, a wave of dizziness so harsh swept over that she almost passed out and a wave of nausea accompanied it.
"Easy!" An-Paj commanded sternly as he pushed her back down on the pillows. "When I said you have a severe head injury I didn't mean minor. You "do" remember what happened?"
Meri paused just trying to get back to the place where the room wasn't spinning. "No, I just remember something hitting me and then I almost fell," she muttered, squinting up at the blue healer.
"Well, that may be all you ever remember," the healer said as he removed an instrument from his pocket and placed the tip in her ear. A few seconds later he removed it and smiled. "Good, no fever."
The strange feeling flooded over her again and she looked up at the healer, squinting against the ceiling lights. "Can I see my Master?"
One of An-Paj's white eyebrows arched as though in surprise at her request, but then a slow, sincere, smile broke out on his face. "You most certainly may, Meri."
***
As the sound of An-Paj's footsteps faded away, Meri relaxed into the pillows behind her and gave her burning eyes a much needed rest. After learning she had been out for five days, feeling sleepy was the last thing she expected, but it was exactly how she was feeling.
The pounding in her temples hadn't lessened and it felt like a herd of banthas was keeping time in a smart march in her head. "Ooh," she groaned softly, wishing for the entire galaxy that Ariana was there to hold and comfort her like she used to.
With that thought, tears began pricking the back of her eyelids and she remembered how she had reached out to Alex in desperation. It had felt so different than before. `His' presence felt so different from Ariana's. His presence was strange, unfamiliar, but at the same time somehow comforting, and warm. She could feel him getting closer now and she was torn between dread and an eagerness she couldn't explain. Squeezing her eyes shut tighter, she wished the pain in her head would stop so she could think clearly. It hurt; the pounding within just wouldn't stop.
The sound of footsteps stopped her muddled thoughts and when she felt the bed sink as someone perched on the side; she knew it was he. She could feel his presence like a shinning light. Opening her eyes slowly, she squinted up at him.
His young face was a myriad of emotions, while his blue eyes studied her, as though looking for any sign that she was feeling uncomfortable with him.
Slowly he reached out and took her hand, and Meri gripped it tightly.
Her brown eyes searched his face desperately, and then she asked the question that wouldn't stop plaguing her. "Did you really want me...I mean...as your apprentice?" Her voice wavered, sounding just as uncertain as she felt.
Alex's eyes flickered, and then his face flooded with compassion. "Very much so," he said haltingly, his voice sounding almost close to tears.
Meri blinked in confusion. "But...why?" The question in her voice was genuinely confused. "I'm not...not worth it," she finished quietly, and then tried to withdraw her hand from his.
Alex tightened his grip on her hand and wouldn't let go. "Don't say that," he murmured. "Don't ever say that. You'll make quite the Jedi knight someday, Meri."
"But....I failed her. I should have been there and I wasn't and I failed her," she said in a rush, as tears began to run down her face. "And this last mission--I wasn't quick enough. I should have realized it sooner..." she trailed off, her tears falling faster, the sobs only encouraging the pain her head.
Unexpectedly Alex pulled her into his arms and held her comfortingly. Though it would normally have made her feel uncomfortable, this time she found herself accepting it as the ache in her head grew with her tears.
"No, Padawan, no. It was my fault what happened on our mission. Not yours. I should have sensed those men's intent. You did not fail Master Caer, either, Meri. You honored her in your obedience. Never forget that." Alex's voice was soft, yet firm and through the open bond he sent all the confidence he felt for his apprentice behind the words.
Meri didn't reply, but allowed herself to be pulled closer in his warm embrace, her eyes drifting closed as the light's burning glare took its toll. She was too miserable to argue, too much in pain...and though she wouldn't admit it, his words had gained a tiny foothold within.
Time seemed to halt and all Meri was aware of was the pain, and the steady heartbeat beneath her ear. She dropped off into a place between awake and asleep, the throbbing ache keeping her from the deep healing sleep she needed. It was more through Alex that she sensed An-Paj re-entering the room, than from any awareness of her own. Although she wanted to, she was unable to gather the strength to move from within the circle of his arms. From above, she heard his worried, soft, accented voice address the healer. "She's in a lot of pain."
From even farther away she heard An-Paj answer. "I know, too much too soon. She won't be after I give her this."
After that, she felt a prick on her arm, and then she felt herself slipping into a deeper sleep as the pain faded away.
|===|---------
"Meri? Are you alright?"
The lilting voice was muffled through the closed door, but the concern was still evident.
"Yes, Master. I'm just getting dressed," she called back, somewhat amused by her Master's over protectiveness since finally being released from the infirmary. In the end, she had to stay longer in the infirmary then previously thought, after An-Paj found a hairline crack in her cranium. It was the source for the headaches and the frequent bouts of nausea she had experienced. She hadn't exactly found it fun to spend her Life Day in the infirmary, however.
Now, though, she was feeling much better, the headaches almost entirely gone; yet her Master still acted as though she were about to fall apart.
Shaking her head, she pulled on her boots and then headed for the main room. Having only been out of the infirmary a day, this would be the first morning she would meditate with Alex with their open bond. She was still nervous, still a tiny bit afraid of trusting, but she had taken the first step.
Entering the room, she saw him already in position, and masking the slight nervousness she felt, she knelt across from him. Immediately his blue eyes sprang open to regard her, searching her face for what, she knew not.
"Your nervous," he commented lightly.
She hadn't really been trying to shield the fact from him and wasn't surprised he had detected it. "Yes, Master. A little," she conceded lowering her eyes to floor.
"I won't force you, Padawan. I'll help you, but only if you want me to..." he trailed off leaving the last comment a question.
Taking a deep breath, she nodded. "I--I do. It's just....hard."
He didn't need to ask what was hard. He knew this was difficult for her, to trust again. He gave her a single, slow nod. "We'll take it slow then," he assured, then raised both of his palms towards her.
Taking another, more unsteady breath, Meri raised her hands as well and placed them against Alex's. She almost jerked back in surprise when she immediately felt the Force spark between them. She didn't remember that with Ariana. Closing her eyes, the fifteen-year-old tried to concentrate, tried to connect to the Force, but as usual, it seemed to dance away before she could grasp it.
"Relax, you're trying too hard," Alex murmured.
Meri let out a tempered sigh, and then did as he said, relaxing the tense muscles and imagining all the stress flowing right out of her. As soon as she had done so, she felt Alex's presence grow in her mind and for a split second she wanted to throw up her shields. Forcing herself to keep her shields down, she allowed him to pull the Force around the both of them. Gradually her fear ebbed and Alex continued to guide her deeper into the Force.
It surrounded them both now, a bright flowing river of light, calming and carrying away all her fears and easing her grief, as she soared on the winds of the Force.
When she opened her eyes, they met the bright blue ones across from her and she smiled shakily. The bond between the two hummed with the energy of the Force; already it had grown from a weak, faint cord, to something stronger, one thrumming with the Force. "Thank you," she breathed.
Alex simply smiled warmly. He was no longer just her Master by title only. He had fully become her Master, and she, his apprentice.
[End Part One]
