Chapter 18
//Why do transports have to be so cold?// Meri wondered as she drew her legs up closer to her body to conserve the heat. Of course, everything about the room she was in was cold. It was definitely one of the more questionable transports she had traveled on in her experience. The floors were simply metal; no one had even bothered to cover them with anything. The walls also were of a cold, steel, gray material, adding to the colorless theme of the small room. The bed on which she sat had to be the worst feature, by far. The mattress felt as hard as a stone and as chilled as she was, it felt just as cold. Only one thin, worn, blanket was folded at the end, and the single pillow was coverless and stained.
Meri hugged her knees closer to her body and rested her chin atop them. Even if she had been sleepy, which she wasn't, she wouldn't have let that pillow anywhere near her face, not to mention the blanket, which appeared just as dirty. Instead she had wrapped her warm Jedi robe around her, but even that didn't ease her discomfort. Space travel usually didn't affect her in this way, but she suspected her coldness radiated from the coldness within and the loneliness. A few tears would have liked to escape, but she wasn't about to let them.
Alex hadn't spoken to her since he had come to the cargo hold and told her to move her things. Hours had passed, and she could sense a coolness to their bond that hadn't ever been there before. He wasn't shielding, not really, but that tinge of aloofness she sensed kept her from probing further. His words and actions were enough to tell her he was upset with her. He had to be very angry to have taken her lightsabre. She felt vulnerable without it.
Grabbing her braid in one hand, she began to fidget with it, rolling it back and forth between two fingers. Stopping, Meri looked intently at the weave of hair strands and noticed for the first time that just about all the black hairs had worked themselves out or had been washed out. She frowned and then bit her lower lip in consternation.
The apprentice was startled out of her musings by the door sliding open and Alex stepping into the room. Her heart fluttered and she quickly dropped the braid back on her shoulder and sat up.
"Padawan," he greeted with a nod as he settled into the only chair. His bright blue eyes took her in with a sweeping gaze and then came back to focus on her face.
"Master Billaba contacted me a while back," he paused, his features settling into a look of disapproval. "I think an apology will be in order when we return," he said firmly.
Feeling his intense gaze on her face, she remembered that Depa had indeed been the one who was supposed to watch her while her Master was away, and her cheeks flushed under the mild rebuke. Another thing she had forgotten in the planning.
With face still warm, she looked at Alex and noticed a strange expression flicker across his face as he looked at her. The next moment she thought she must have imagined it, for the aloof mask he wore, dropped back into place.
"We'll be arriving soon and I've arranged for you to stay somewhere safe."
Safe. She was beginning to detest the word with every fiber of her being. What did `safe' matter, if the person she cared about most was walking right into the mouth of danger.
Seeing the expression cross her youthful features, Alex's face hardened. "I'll entertain no arguments about this, Padawan," he said coolly.
"Yes, Master," she replied contritely. It had to be a record that he had addressed her as "padawan" twice in a row. He almost always called her by name.
"This planet has four seasons and it is the cold season. You will need to dress warm," he paused before continuing. "I have also arranged for that,...it is...in a young man's style, however."
Meri looked up at him sharply. "What happened to, `You could never pass for a male'?" she questioned tartly.
His eyes blazed and she saw a muscle jump in his jaw. "You couldn't. It is just a precaution in case someone sees you from afar."
"As long as I'm not walking about, right?" she returned dryly.
He let out an explosive sigh and gave her a warning glance as he stood. "Keep your hair up," he ordered brusquely, then turned and left.
***
True to Alex's word, Meri soon felt the transport slowing from lightspeed and then not long after, enter the atmosphere of Dubh nán. It took a bit of effort, but she finally got all her hair back underneath the cap and donning her robe she stood and ventured out of her room.
On her way towards the cockpit, she met the co-pilot, who when he saw her stopped short and stared a moment before speaking. "Master Arieh asked that I inform you we have arrived and that you should be ready to leave, Miss..." he trailed off and looked at her uncertainly.
Meri bit her lip to keep the tears at bay, but at the same time a surge of irritation washed over her. Now he was sending the crewmen to tell her things instead of speaking to her himself. "Let me guess," she said wryly, trying to hide her pain. "He called me `Padawan' didn't he?"
The man nodded and looked at her curiously. No doubt if he knew anything about Jedi he saw no problem in that, but he didn't know Alex. "Force forbid he use my name," she muttered brushing past the startled man before he could see the tears in her eyes. By then, her annoyance had covered her injured feelings, and she marched down the walkway intent on having a few words with him before they left.
However, by the time she reached the ramp that had been lowered, she saw him striding away, his robe billowing outwards as he walked across the snow covered ground toward a group of waiting people.
Hurt beyond words, she moved to the head of the ramp and tried to quickly wipe away the tears that had escaped and were trailing down her face. He wasn't going to say goodbye? She almost couldn't believe it. Did he think this made things easier? For who? Certainly not her, so it must be for his benefit.
Trying to take her mind off what had just happened, she took her first real glance at Dubh nán. Everything was covered in a glaring white powder--snow. She had heard of it and even seen pictures of it, but never experienced it first hand.
Walking down to the end of the ramp, she knelt and fingered the ice crystals with wonder. The powdery crystals sparkled in the bright sun, looking like so many jewels and the cold air nipped at her cheeks, causing them to redden in the chilly air.
Finally she stood once again and looked to the group her Master had gone to meet. He was facing her now and even looking at her while he spoke to one of the other men. The gentle wind teased his black hair and blew a few strands across his forehead, giving him a slightly boyish look. The white background of the ice and snow caused his eyes to look much lighter, a very pale blue, standing out against his black hair.
Turning away, she looked off to the horizon, wishing almost immediately that she hadn't. On a far off hill stood a building that was all too familiar. Oh, it was different from her dream, not as plain and the snow was certainly new to the sight, but it was there. That was enough. The sight of it immediately plunged her back to her dream and the overwhelming sense she'd had that told her not to let Alex go alone. She had begun to start hoping it was all in her head, that perhaps what the Council said was true and she wasn't over Ariana's death. But the sight of that building brought it all back and she knew she was right.
A hard slap on her back almost sent her to her knees and alerted her to the fact that she had once again lost focus on the moment and someone had approached without her knowing.
"Grand sight, isn't it buddy?" a loud voice asked, seemingly unaware that she would now probably have a bruise from his friendly slap on the back.
She straightened, brown eyes narrowing in irritation and then turned to face the man beside her. "Not quite," she said coolly, her eyes taking in the man before her. He was just as short as she and looked to be a few years older than Alex. She was guessing 25. He had sandy blond hair and hazel eyes that twinkled in fun.
"Well, I'll be a nerf herder! You're a young lady!"
Meri stared at him blankly.
"I thought you were a boy," he said with another slap on her back, this one only marginally softer. "He just called you his apprentice, and if you'll pardon me, but from the backside I couldn't tell, what with you wearing boy's clothes and all."
"I see," she replied.
He stuck out his hand and smiled rakishly. "I'm Folly!"
One slender eyebrow rose as Meri's eyes cut over and stared at the man next to her. Folly? What kind of name was Folly? "Hello...Folly," she said glancing at his outreached hand in puzzlement. What exactly did he expect her to do? Finally she gracefully extended her own hand, and placed it in his with all the regality of a queen.
He pumped her hand up and down a few times then released it and she drew it back quickly. She wasn't used to that. Normally, all the greeting she would need to give was a bow.
"Your name is Folly?" she questioned.
"That's me!" he said, and tapped his chest with one hand.
"*Just* Folly?" she asked, her eyebrow again rising in mild interest.
"That's my name," he grinned elbowing her as he paused mid-sentence.
"Yes, yes I know," Meri muttered. "Don't wear it out, right?"
"Exactly!"
Meri had to refrain from rolling her eyes. Only five-year old initiates in the Temple still used that phrase. Taking a deep breath of the crisp, cold air, Meri turned to look for Alex. He was gone, as was the group that had been there earlier. Another burst of pain flooded over her heart. He really hadn't said goodbye.
"He left already, if you're looking for the Master Jedi," Folly offered seeing her searching gaze. "He's an awful young looking Master Jedi, if you don't mind me saying. I thought all Master Jedi's had beards and were really old, but he looks younger than me. Say, how old is he anyway?"
"Twenty-three," Meri replied absent-mindedly.
"WOW! He is younger than me. Well, I'll be!" he enthused. "Just think, younger than me and a Jedi Master with a...what was it, Paddlewon???"
Meri sighed and glanced at him. "Padawan, not Paddlewon. Why? Did he call me that, too?"
"Sure did! I didn't know what that meant, and asked him. So, he told me that meant you were his apprentice and that makes sense. Though why you need such a fancy word, I'll never know." His brow drew together in a secretive look and he leaned in towards Meri. "But don't worry, he said it was hush-hush and I wasn't to tell anyone you are his paddldon. I won't! Your secret is safe with me!"
"Thank you," Meri answered dryly. She shivered as the wind kicked up, blowing flakes of snow in the air around them.
With another slap on Meri's back, Folly grinned. "Well, we better get you to your chalet. You look cold and that's where I left your things the Master Jedi requested." He winked at her and smiled wider. "Don't worry. I didn't look at any of your underthings," he assured.
Meri's mouth twitched at that, but she said nothing in reply. "Lead the way," she said with a slight bow, all the while wondering if the Force was conspiring against her.
Folly nodded with a jaunty grin and then turned and started walking down the small rise they stood on. Meri sighed, then cast one last glance at the building from her dreams. A shiver went down her spine and turning quickly, she hurried to catch up with Folly.
//Why do transports have to be so cold?// Meri wondered as she drew her legs up closer to her body to conserve the heat. Of course, everything about the room she was in was cold. It was definitely one of the more questionable transports she had traveled on in her experience. The floors were simply metal; no one had even bothered to cover them with anything. The walls also were of a cold, steel, gray material, adding to the colorless theme of the small room. The bed on which she sat had to be the worst feature, by far. The mattress felt as hard as a stone and as chilled as she was, it felt just as cold. Only one thin, worn, blanket was folded at the end, and the single pillow was coverless and stained.
Meri hugged her knees closer to her body and rested her chin atop them. Even if she had been sleepy, which she wasn't, she wouldn't have let that pillow anywhere near her face, not to mention the blanket, which appeared just as dirty. Instead she had wrapped her warm Jedi robe around her, but even that didn't ease her discomfort. Space travel usually didn't affect her in this way, but she suspected her coldness radiated from the coldness within and the loneliness. A few tears would have liked to escape, but she wasn't about to let them.
Alex hadn't spoken to her since he had come to the cargo hold and told her to move her things. Hours had passed, and she could sense a coolness to their bond that hadn't ever been there before. He wasn't shielding, not really, but that tinge of aloofness she sensed kept her from probing further. His words and actions were enough to tell her he was upset with her. He had to be very angry to have taken her lightsabre. She felt vulnerable without it.
Grabbing her braid in one hand, she began to fidget with it, rolling it back and forth between two fingers. Stopping, Meri looked intently at the weave of hair strands and noticed for the first time that just about all the black hairs had worked themselves out or had been washed out. She frowned and then bit her lower lip in consternation.
The apprentice was startled out of her musings by the door sliding open and Alex stepping into the room. Her heart fluttered and she quickly dropped the braid back on her shoulder and sat up.
"Padawan," he greeted with a nod as he settled into the only chair. His bright blue eyes took her in with a sweeping gaze and then came back to focus on her face.
"Master Billaba contacted me a while back," he paused, his features settling into a look of disapproval. "I think an apology will be in order when we return," he said firmly.
Feeling his intense gaze on her face, she remembered that Depa had indeed been the one who was supposed to watch her while her Master was away, and her cheeks flushed under the mild rebuke. Another thing she had forgotten in the planning.
With face still warm, she looked at Alex and noticed a strange expression flicker across his face as he looked at her. The next moment she thought she must have imagined it, for the aloof mask he wore, dropped back into place.
"We'll be arriving soon and I've arranged for you to stay somewhere safe."
Safe. She was beginning to detest the word with every fiber of her being. What did `safe' matter, if the person she cared about most was walking right into the mouth of danger.
Seeing the expression cross her youthful features, Alex's face hardened. "I'll entertain no arguments about this, Padawan," he said coolly.
"Yes, Master," she replied contritely. It had to be a record that he had addressed her as "padawan" twice in a row. He almost always called her by name.
"This planet has four seasons and it is the cold season. You will need to dress warm," he paused before continuing. "I have also arranged for that,...it is...in a young man's style, however."
Meri looked up at him sharply. "What happened to, `You could never pass for a male'?" she questioned tartly.
His eyes blazed and she saw a muscle jump in his jaw. "You couldn't. It is just a precaution in case someone sees you from afar."
"As long as I'm not walking about, right?" she returned dryly.
He let out an explosive sigh and gave her a warning glance as he stood. "Keep your hair up," he ordered brusquely, then turned and left.
***
True to Alex's word, Meri soon felt the transport slowing from lightspeed and then not long after, enter the atmosphere of Dubh nán. It took a bit of effort, but she finally got all her hair back underneath the cap and donning her robe she stood and ventured out of her room.
On her way towards the cockpit, she met the co-pilot, who when he saw her stopped short and stared a moment before speaking. "Master Arieh asked that I inform you we have arrived and that you should be ready to leave, Miss..." he trailed off and looked at her uncertainly.
Meri bit her lip to keep the tears at bay, but at the same time a surge of irritation washed over her. Now he was sending the crewmen to tell her things instead of speaking to her himself. "Let me guess," she said wryly, trying to hide her pain. "He called me `Padawan' didn't he?"
The man nodded and looked at her curiously. No doubt if he knew anything about Jedi he saw no problem in that, but he didn't know Alex. "Force forbid he use my name," she muttered brushing past the startled man before he could see the tears in her eyes. By then, her annoyance had covered her injured feelings, and she marched down the walkway intent on having a few words with him before they left.
However, by the time she reached the ramp that had been lowered, she saw him striding away, his robe billowing outwards as he walked across the snow covered ground toward a group of waiting people.
Hurt beyond words, she moved to the head of the ramp and tried to quickly wipe away the tears that had escaped and were trailing down her face. He wasn't going to say goodbye? She almost couldn't believe it. Did he think this made things easier? For who? Certainly not her, so it must be for his benefit.
Trying to take her mind off what had just happened, she took her first real glance at Dubh nán. Everything was covered in a glaring white powder--snow. She had heard of it and even seen pictures of it, but never experienced it first hand.
Walking down to the end of the ramp, she knelt and fingered the ice crystals with wonder. The powdery crystals sparkled in the bright sun, looking like so many jewels and the cold air nipped at her cheeks, causing them to redden in the chilly air.
Finally she stood once again and looked to the group her Master had gone to meet. He was facing her now and even looking at her while he spoke to one of the other men. The gentle wind teased his black hair and blew a few strands across his forehead, giving him a slightly boyish look. The white background of the ice and snow caused his eyes to look much lighter, a very pale blue, standing out against his black hair.
Turning away, she looked off to the horizon, wishing almost immediately that she hadn't. On a far off hill stood a building that was all too familiar. Oh, it was different from her dream, not as plain and the snow was certainly new to the sight, but it was there. That was enough. The sight of it immediately plunged her back to her dream and the overwhelming sense she'd had that told her not to let Alex go alone. She had begun to start hoping it was all in her head, that perhaps what the Council said was true and she wasn't over Ariana's death. But the sight of that building brought it all back and she knew she was right.
A hard slap on her back almost sent her to her knees and alerted her to the fact that she had once again lost focus on the moment and someone had approached without her knowing.
"Grand sight, isn't it buddy?" a loud voice asked, seemingly unaware that she would now probably have a bruise from his friendly slap on the back.
She straightened, brown eyes narrowing in irritation and then turned to face the man beside her. "Not quite," she said coolly, her eyes taking in the man before her. He was just as short as she and looked to be a few years older than Alex. She was guessing 25. He had sandy blond hair and hazel eyes that twinkled in fun.
"Well, I'll be a nerf herder! You're a young lady!"
Meri stared at him blankly.
"I thought you were a boy," he said with another slap on her back, this one only marginally softer. "He just called you his apprentice, and if you'll pardon me, but from the backside I couldn't tell, what with you wearing boy's clothes and all."
"I see," she replied.
He stuck out his hand and smiled rakishly. "I'm Folly!"
One slender eyebrow rose as Meri's eyes cut over and stared at the man next to her. Folly? What kind of name was Folly? "Hello...Folly," she said glancing at his outreached hand in puzzlement. What exactly did he expect her to do? Finally she gracefully extended her own hand, and placed it in his with all the regality of a queen.
He pumped her hand up and down a few times then released it and she drew it back quickly. She wasn't used to that. Normally, all the greeting she would need to give was a bow.
"Your name is Folly?" she questioned.
"That's me!" he said, and tapped his chest with one hand.
"*Just* Folly?" she asked, her eyebrow again rising in mild interest.
"That's my name," he grinned elbowing her as he paused mid-sentence.
"Yes, yes I know," Meri muttered. "Don't wear it out, right?"
"Exactly!"
Meri had to refrain from rolling her eyes. Only five-year old initiates in the Temple still used that phrase. Taking a deep breath of the crisp, cold air, Meri turned to look for Alex. He was gone, as was the group that had been there earlier. Another burst of pain flooded over her heart. He really hadn't said goodbye.
"He left already, if you're looking for the Master Jedi," Folly offered seeing her searching gaze. "He's an awful young looking Master Jedi, if you don't mind me saying. I thought all Master Jedi's had beards and were really old, but he looks younger than me. Say, how old is he anyway?"
"Twenty-three," Meri replied absent-mindedly.
"WOW! He is younger than me. Well, I'll be!" he enthused. "Just think, younger than me and a Jedi Master with a...what was it, Paddlewon???"
Meri sighed and glanced at him. "Padawan, not Paddlewon. Why? Did he call me that, too?"
"Sure did! I didn't know what that meant, and asked him. So, he told me that meant you were his apprentice and that makes sense. Though why you need such a fancy word, I'll never know." His brow drew together in a secretive look and he leaned in towards Meri. "But don't worry, he said it was hush-hush and I wasn't to tell anyone you are his paddldon. I won't! Your secret is safe with me!"
"Thank you," Meri answered dryly. She shivered as the wind kicked up, blowing flakes of snow in the air around them.
With another slap on Meri's back, Folly grinned. "Well, we better get you to your chalet. You look cold and that's where I left your things the Master Jedi requested." He winked at her and smiled wider. "Don't worry. I didn't look at any of your underthings," he assured.
Meri's mouth twitched at that, but she said nothing in reply. "Lead the way," she said with a slight bow, all the while wondering if the Force was conspiring against her.
Folly nodded with a jaunty grin and then turned and started walking down the small rise they stood on. Meri sighed, then cast one last glance at the building from her dreams. A shiver went down her spine and turning quickly, she hurried to catch up with Folly.
