By PrincessPotter
Rating: PG/PG-13 (PG-13 just to be safe for later chapters)
Summary: Remus Lupin doesn't seem to be like everyone else. From waking up
early, to turning his homework in on time, he's different. He's a sixth
year, and he is starting to question his friendship with his closest
friend, Sirius Black. Could it ever be something more that just friendship?
If Remus ever said anything about his feelings, would it ruin their
friendship? If he doesn't say anything would he be passing a chance at true
love? Or could it be that it's only the wolf talking and trying to get him
to do something that he'd forever regret?
Feedback is loved : )
Flames will be used to heat my cauldron to make a potion to shut up whoever
writes them. : )
******!!!WARNING: Remus/Sirius pairing, don't come crying to me if you
don't like it!!!******
Introduction
My family was on a camping trip, not long after my older brother had been notified to be Head Boy, and my father had wanted a "Boys' Weekend", but my mother had refused to "stay home and knit" all weekend. So she'd come along. Father was pitching a tent, Mum was mending a sleeping bag, and my brother, Samson, was trying to find something in his bag. I had only been eight at the time, and I wandered off without anyone's knowledge. I was going through the forest and looking at different creatures that had managed to catch my boyish interest as I walked. Soon, the sun was down and I was completely lost. I sat on a rock, because my mother had always told me that when I figure out that I'm lost, stay where I am because it makes it easier to be found. I looked up at the moon, and starting humming a song. I always thought that full moons were the most beautiful of the many different types I'd seen. I heard something and, scared because I was lost, turned to see what it was. I screamed as teeth tore through the flesh in my shoulder and then as I fell to the ground under the beast.
Waking up in a deep sweat, I panted and looked around the dormitory as I always did when I had nightmares. It must be close to the full moon, I thought. I laid back down and fell asleep, waiting for the sun to rise so my day could begin.
Chapter One
It was a day like any other, the morning sun entered the dorm like every other morning and I was already awake, my favorite book propped against my knees. I looked and waited for the rest of my dorm to begin moving, but apparently that wasn't going to happen. It was usual for Sirius, James, and Peter to simply pull the covers over their heads and roll over when the sun hit them. Me? Why was I awake? I always wake up at dawn to be ready for the day ahead of me. Tell that to Sirius and he wouldn't believe me. He says I only get up to use all the hot water. Not true.
I read on a few pages before I heard the first person beginning to move from bed. Of course, it was Peter. Followed by James. Sirius, however, was still in bed trying to get a few more moments of sleep before he would have to get up and get ready for the days classes. James sleepily waved and Peter followed, both of them trying to get into the bathroom first. Peter won, and James was stuck outside the door. "You've got a big Quidditch game today. Against Slytherin, right?" I asked, closing the book and putting it in my pillow case. "Yes. Lily will be there. I'm hoping to impress her and then I'm going to ask her to the Yule Ball." James said. When you spoke about Lily or Quidditch he was ready and willing to have a conversation.
"Going to catch the Snitch in record time?" I asked. I knew that this one would get Sirius out of bed in an instant, because he didn't think James could do it. "Yeah right!" I was right. I looked over and I saw Sirius jumping out of bed and pulling on his pants. "James won't stand a chance. I heard that the Slytherins have a new seeker and I heard that they're not telling who it is until before the game. As much as I want the Gryffindor lot to win, I think that we don't stand a chance against the bloody Slytherins." He said, pulling on his shirt and then his tie. I always thought it was funny how Sirius always dressed so sloppily and then he would get asked to the Yule Ball by the dozens.
I looked at the calendar where James had marked the date of the Yule Ball, as if anyone would forget. But on the same day, it was also marked "FULL MOON" in big bold letters. I wouldn't be able to go this year. Not like it mattered anyway, I thought. No one had ever asked me and I had never liked anyone enough to ask. This would be a very lonely transformation. It was three days away, and already I was beginning to feel the effects that the moon had on me. Emotionally, I was pretty much ok as long as I didn't get too upset. Physically, I became much stronger than I usually was, which is why I could seriously hurt someone if I got mad.
Peter came out of the bathroom and James hurried in. Sirius was now dressed and sitting at the foot of my bed. "So, Moony, got a date for the Yule Ball yet? Because there's this girl in Hufflepuff and I thi---"
"Sirius, I can't go. It's the night of the full moon." I said, sadly. How could he forget it?
"I thought that that was next week." He picked up the calendar. "Oh wow. How could I not read that. Well, I guess I'm cancelling my plans." He turned around and smirked.
"But you're going with what's-her-name from Ravenclaw." I said, I knew he'd fancied the girl for a while. She was one of the few people he actually liked.
"I can cancel. I'll tell her I'm not feeling well and I'll go down to the Shack with you." He said, going over and stuffing his pack with his books. I think he was just joking.
The day was horrid. Outside it was snowing like mad and the game was still on, as far as anyone knew. We were all wishing James luck in the common room and then he left. It was just me and Sirius now because Peter and everyone else in Gryffindor was going down early. However, we were trying to finish an essay on the uses of moonstone. "What in Merlin's name is the POINT of this essay?" Sirius muttered. "Bloody hell, we're never going to finish this thing. Forget it." He said, and I watched as he angrily closed his book and shoved it across the table. "I'll do it later. C'mon, Moony, we'll be late for the game." With that, he pulled me from the table and we rushed out of the common room.
The stands were crowded, most people cheering for Gryffindor because the Slytherins had been so sure of themselves for this gave. I was freezing, my Gryffindor Scarf and layers of clothes were not helping. I saw Sirius coming back from wherever he'd needed to go and he had a large blanket in hand. "Moony, over here!" He waved and I moved to the bench where he was sitting down and pulling the blanket around him.
"Padfoot, if y-you w-w-want to la-li-live you'll shay-share that blanket!" I said, and he pushed half off of him. Quickly, I sat down and pulled my part around myself and he looked out onto the field. I looked at Sirius, I was going to say something but I decided not to. I hadn't been that close to Sirius since our first year at Hogwarts and it was weird to see how much he'd change. I could now see why so many girls liked him. Why am I thinking this? I quickly shook the thought away. "James better finish this game fast. I'm still cold." Sirius said, leaning over slightly to see all the players coming to the field. "Do you see anyone new on the Slytherin team?" He asked. "I can't even see the Slytherins." I said, trying to see through the blinding snow that was blowing in every direction.
The whistle blew and both teams took flight, James quickly searching for the snitch. I wondered how he'd ever see it. Normally, I'd cast a spell so that nothing would stick to his glasses but he'd left too soon and with all my homework, I'd completely forgotten. I could see Lily, not far from me, watching James as well. Whenever a bludger would head toward him, she would quickly cover her eyes and then look through hher fingers. He'd be happy to hear that.
Throughout the game, several students left because of the frigid weather and I remembered a heating spell that would keep Sirius and my body heat inside the blanket. It wouldn't help our poor heads, however, because they were outside the blanket. I got a little warmer and I just kept watching the game. "Look at Snape!" Sirius laughed as Severus Snape, the Slytherin Keeper, dove to get the quaffle just as James was going after the snitch. "Dear God, don't let them collide!" I said, praying that James wouldn't hit Snape and vise versa.
They didn't collide.
I was amazed that they were still alive, but James came back up holding the snitch, and so many people were on their feet clapping it was impossible not to feel the vibrations of their cheers in the stands. Sirius and I stood at the same time, and, being wrapped in the same blanket, we both fell at the same time, as well. I fellsideways and he fell the same way and landed right on top of me. We both had startled and embarrassed expressions on our faces, but in an instant we were back up and cheering. I had to wonder, though, if it was natural for me to like the way it felt to be near him.
That night, after dinner, I quickly went into my bed and closed the curtains, a signal that I wanted to be left alone. I pulled out a book that I often read when I had major questions about myself, my condition, or anything else I wanted to know. It was an old journal that was given to me by my father not long before he'd died. I'd never told anyone how he'd died. Only the journal, which had now come to be called "Moony", knew the truth about my parents untimely death.
I opened it, pulled out my quill, and wrote:
"I don't know what's happening to me. Maybe it's just the wolf acting up again, but I'm suddenly having... well... Unwanted feelings for someone..."
I waited for an answer from it. Maybe it wouldn't answer me tonight. Of course, right when I need answers most, it's not going to answer...
"Sirius?"
I was taken aback by the reply. I swallowed and closed my eyes, trying to decide whether or not to write "Yes" and ask how an inanimate object could know how I felt.
"Yes." I wrote "But how would you---" it didn't let me finish the sentence.
"That isn't important. But you can not CAN NOT do anything about these feelings. You could end up hurting someone."
I closed it then, not wanted to read or write anymore. I just wanted to sleep.
"Remus, dear, come downstairs. We want to show you something." I heard my mother call me and I went downstairs from downstairs. My arm was hurting from where that monster had bitten me and I held it as I walked downstairs, my favorite comic book in my other hand. "It's not my birthday. I don't go to Hogwarts for another 3 years. Did you get me that game I wanted?" I asked delightedly as I bounded down the stairs. My mother had a semi-sad look on her face and my father was standing in front of a large metal-barred cage. "What's this?" I asked, poking the bars. "It's a cage. We're going to go hunting sometime. Why don't you get in so I can see if it's strong enough." It was an odd request to come from my father, but I did it. What harm could it bring?
As soon as I was in, he closed it and locked it. Laughing, I threw myself against the side. "I think it'll hold." I laughed. "Now let me out."
My father looked at my mother and began to cry. My father held her and I tried to get out. "Dad, what's going on? Why are you keeping me locked in here?"
A moment later I felt as though my body were being ripped in two. I screamed and I knew my eyes must've been as big as galleons. I'd never felt anything more painful in my life. I wanted to die. I screamed and I begged my mother and father to help me. They left the room and left me to my agony.
Someone was shaking me. "No...no!!" I cried, trying to get loose. "Remus wake up. It's me... Sirius. You're having another nightmare. Wake up, Moony! Before you wake everyone else." It was Sirius' voice talking, and I opened my eyes to see him sitting on the side of my bed, his hands on my shoulders.
"Here. You're sweating bullets." He said, handing me a handkercheif. I nodded and whiped my face. "I don't know how they all sleep through you crying out. I don't know if they ignore it or what, but I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for you having those nightmares. What was it about? You were calling your parents." Sirius said, putting on a serious face. He was hardly ever serious Sirius... He was usually happy- go-lucky Sirius.
I was shaking from the memories of that first transformation. "You'd think I was used to it by now." I said.
"Mate, I can't imagine ever having to get used to that type of pain." He said, closing the curtain where he'd come in. He sat at the end of the bed and looked at me. "You alright?" He asked.
"I don't know. I think it's just because of the moon and everything that I'm getting such dreams and I can't control anything lately." I said, leaning back against my headboard.
"Sounds unpleasant." Sirius yawned. "Well, Moony, I guess I'd better get back to my own bed. Who knows what James or Peter might think if they caught me coming out of your bed!" He joked and left.
Yeah... I thought. Who knows?
******!!!WARNING: Remus/Sirius pairing, don't come crying to me if you
don't like it!!!******
Introduction
My family was on a camping trip, not long after my older brother had been notified to be Head Boy, and my father had wanted a "Boys' Weekend", but my mother had refused to "stay home and knit" all weekend. So she'd come along. Father was pitching a tent, Mum was mending a sleeping bag, and my brother, Samson, was trying to find something in his bag. I had only been eight at the time, and I wandered off without anyone's knowledge. I was going through the forest and looking at different creatures that had managed to catch my boyish interest as I walked. Soon, the sun was down and I was completely lost. I sat on a rock, because my mother had always told me that when I figure out that I'm lost, stay where I am because it makes it easier to be found. I looked up at the moon, and starting humming a song. I always thought that full moons were the most beautiful of the many different types I'd seen. I heard something and, scared because I was lost, turned to see what it was. I screamed as teeth tore through the flesh in my shoulder and then as I fell to the ground under the beast.
Waking up in a deep sweat, I panted and looked around the dormitory as I always did when I had nightmares. It must be close to the full moon, I thought. I laid back down and fell asleep, waiting for the sun to rise so my day could begin.
Chapter One
It was a day like any other, the morning sun entered the dorm like every other morning and I was already awake, my favorite book propped against my knees. I looked and waited for the rest of my dorm to begin moving, but apparently that wasn't going to happen. It was usual for Sirius, James, and Peter to simply pull the covers over their heads and roll over when the sun hit them. Me? Why was I awake? I always wake up at dawn to be ready for the day ahead of me. Tell that to Sirius and he wouldn't believe me. He says I only get up to use all the hot water. Not true.
I read on a few pages before I heard the first person beginning to move from bed. Of course, it was Peter. Followed by James. Sirius, however, was still in bed trying to get a few more moments of sleep before he would have to get up and get ready for the days classes. James sleepily waved and Peter followed, both of them trying to get into the bathroom first. Peter won, and James was stuck outside the door. "You've got a big Quidditch game today. Against Slytherin, right?" I asked, closing the book and putting it in my pillow case. "Yes. Lily will be there. I'm hoping to impress her and then I'm going to ask her to the Yule Ball." James said. When you spoke about Lily or Quidditch he was ready and willing to have a conversation.
"Going to catch the Snitch in record time?" I asked. I knew that this one would get Sirius out of bed in an instant, because he didn't think James could do it. "Yeah right!" I was right. I looked over and I saw Sirius jumping out of bed and pulling on his pants. "James won't stand a chance. I heard that the Slytherins have a new seeker and I heard that they're not telling who it is until before the game. As much as I want the Gryffindor lot to win, I think that we don't stand a chance against the bloody Slytherins." He said, pulling on his shirt and then his tie. I always thought it was funny how Sirius always dressed so sloppily and then he would get asked to the Yule Ball by the dozens.
I looked at the calendar where James had marked the date of the Yule Ball, as if anyone would forget. But on the same day, it was also marked "FULL MOON" in big bold letters. I wouldn't be able to go this year. Not like it mattered anyway, I thought. No one had ever asked me and I had never liked anyone enough to ask. This would be a very lonely transformation. It was three days away, and already I was beginning to feel the effects that the moon had on me. Emotionally, I was pretty much ok as long as I didn't get too upset. Physically, I became much stronger than I usually was, which is why I could seriously hurt someone if I got mad.
Peter came out of the bathroom and James hurried in. Sirius was now dressed and sitting at the foot of my bed. "So, Moony, got a date for the Yule Ball yet? Because there's this girl in Hufflepuff and I thi---"
"Sirius, I can't go. It's the night of the full moon." I said, sadly. How could he forget it?
"I thought that that was next week." He picked up the calendar. "Oh wow. How could I not read that. Well, I guess I'm cancelling my plans." He turned around and smirked.
"But you're going with what's-her-name from Ravenclaw." I said, I knew he'd fancied the girl for a while. She was one of the few people he actually liked.
"I can cancel. I'll tell her I'm not feeling well and I'll go down to the Shack with you." He said, going over and stuffing his pack with his books. I think he was just joking.
The day was horrid. Outside it was snowing like mad and the game was still on, as far as anyone knew. We were all wishing James luck in the common room and then he left. It was just me and Sirius now because Peter and everyone else in Gryffindor was going down early. However, we were trying to finish an essay on the uses of moonstone. "What in Merlin's name is the POINT of this essay?" Sirius muttered. "Bloody hell, we're never going to finish this thing. Forget it." He said, and I watched as he angrily closed his book and shoved it across the table. "I'll do it later. C'mon, Moony, we'll be late for the game." With that, he pulled me from the table and we rushed out of the common room.
The stands were crowded, most people cheering for Gryffindor because the Slytherins had been so sure of themselves for this gave. I was freezing, my Gryffindor Scarf and layers of clothes were not helping. I saw Sirius coming back from wherever he'd needed to go and he had a large blanket in hand. "Moony, over here!" He waved and I moved to the bench where he was sitting down and pulling the blanket around him.
"Padfoot, if y-you w-w-want to la-li-live you'll shay-share that blanket!" I said, and he pushed half off of him. Quickly, I sat down and pulled my part around myself and he looked out onto the field. I looked at Sirius, I was going to say something but I decided not to. I hadn't been that close to Sirius since our first year at Hogwarts and it was weird to see how much he'd change. I could now see why so many girls liked him. Why am I thinking this? I quickly shook the thought away. "James better finish this game fast. I'm still cold." Sirius said, leaning over slightly to see all the players coming to the field. "Do you see anyone new on the Slytherin team?" He asked. "I can't even see the Slytherins." I said, trying to see through the blinding snow that was blowing in every direction.
The whistle blew and both teams took flight, James quickly searching for the snitch. I wondered how he'd ever see it. Normally, I'd cast a spell so that nothing would stick to his glasses but he'd left too soon and with all my homework, I'd completely forgotten. I could see Lily, not far from me, watching James as well. Whenever a bludger would head toward him, she would quickly cover her eyes and then look through hher fingers. He'd be happy to hear that.
Throughout the game, several students left because of the frigid weather and I remembered a heating spell that would keep Sirius and my body heat inside the blanket. It wouldn't help our poor heads, however, because they were outside the blanket. I got a little warmer and I just kept watching the game. "Look at Snape!" Sirius laughed as Severus Snape, the Slytherin Keeper, dove to get the quaffle just as James was going after the snitch. "Dear God, don't let them collide!" I said, praying that James wouldn't hit Snape and vise versa.
They didn't collide.
I was amazed that they were still alive, but James came back up holding the snitch, and so many people were on their feet clapping it was impossible not to feel the vibrations of their cheers in the stands. Sirius and I stood at the same time, and, being wrapped in the same blanket, we both fell at the same time, as well. I fellsideways and he fell the same way and landed right on top of me. We both had startled and embarrassed expressions on our faces, but in an instant we were back up and cheering. I had to wonder, though, if it was natural for me to like the way it felt to be near him.
That night, after dinner, I quickly went into my bed and closed the curtains, a signal that I wanted to be left alone. I pulled out a book that I often read when I had major questions about myself, my condition, or anything else I wanted to know. It was an old journal that was given to me by my father not long before he'd died. I'd never told anyone how he'd died. Only the journal, which had now come to be called "Moony", knew the truth about my parents untimely death.
I opened it, pulled out my quill, and wrote:
"I don't know what's happening to me. Maybe it's just the wolf acting up again, but I'm suddenly having... well... Unwanted feelings for someone..."
I waited for an answer from it. Maybe it wouldn't answer me tonight. Of course, right when I need answers most, it's not going to answer...
"Sirius?"
I was taken aback by the reply. I swallowed and closed my eyes, trying to decide whether or not to write "Yes" and ask how an inanimate object could know how I felt.
"Yes." I wrote "But how would you---" it didn't let me finish the sentence.
"That isn't important. But you can not CAN NOT do anything about these feelings. You could end up hurting someone."
I closed it then, not wanted to read or write anymore. I just wanted to sleep.
"Remus, dear, come downstairs. We want to show you something." I heard my mother call me and I went downstairs from downstairs. My arm was hurting from where that monster had bitten me and I held it as I walked downstairs, my favorite comic book in my other hand. "It's not my birthday. I don't go to Hogwarts for another 3 years. Did you get me that game I wanted?" I asked delightedly as I bounded down the stairs. My mother had a semi-sad look on her face and my father was standing in front of a large metal-barred cage. "What's this?" I asked, poking the bars. "It's a cage. We're going to go hunting sometime. Why don't you get in so I can see if it's strong enough." It was an odd request to come from my father, but I did it. What harm could it bring?
As soon as I was in, he closed it and locked it. Laughing, I threw myself against the side. "I think it'll hold." I laughed. "Now let me out."
My father looked at my mother and began to cry. My father held her and I tried to get out. "Dad, what's going on? Why are you keeping me locked in here?"
A moment later I felt as though my body were being ripped in two. I screamed and I knew my eyes must've been as big as galleons. I'd never felt anything more painful in my life. I wanted to die. I screamed and I begged my mother and father to help me. They left the room and left me to my agony.
Someone was shaking me. "No...no!!" I cried, trying to get loose. "Remus wake up. It's me... Sirius. You're having another nightmare. Wake up, Moony! Before you wake everyone else." It was Sirius' voice talking, and I opened my eyes to see him sitting on the side of my bed, his hands on my shoulders.
"Here. You're sweating bullets." He said, handing me a handkercheif. I nodded and whiped my face. "I don't know how they all sleep through you crying out. I don't know if they ignore it or what, but I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for you having those nightmares. What was it about? You were calling your parents." Sirius said, putting on a serious face. He was hardly ever serious Sirius... He was usually happy- go-lucky Sirius.
I was shaking from the memories of that first transformation. "You'd think I was used to it by now." I said.
"Mate, I can't imagine ever having to get used to that type of pain." He said, closing the curtain where he'd come in. He sat at the end of the bed and looked at me. "You alright?" He asked.
"I don't know. I think it's just because of the moon and everything that I'm getting such dreams and I can't control anything lately." I said, leaning back against my headboard.
"Sounds unpleasant." Sirius yawned. "Well, Moony, I guess I'd better get back to my own bed. Who knows what James or Peter might think if they caught me coming out of your bed!" He joked and left.
Yeah... I thought. Who knows?
