Part Three of The Long and Winding Road

Meri age 19

Alex age 26

Time frame--Winter Solstice:

A/N: Solstice is a day observed by the Jedi in which they celebrate the life in all things. Different species observe this time in different ways. For some it is a time to ask forgiveness for wrongs done, to others it was a time to exchange a gift to one you love, be it a gift of the force or something material.

Every Solstice Meri had made a habit of going to her favorite gardens and meditating on the previous months of her training and what she had learned and those in her life. Usually she did this alone, after the evening meal, for it was most likely that the Nocturnal Gardens would then be unoccupied. As was their custom, Alex parted with her after the evening meal, promising to see her soon, but she hadn't noticed the unusual glint in his eyes as he had spoken this time around.

Now she sat drinking in the fragrant air around her, enjoying the scent of the large, white, night blooming blossoms on the vine that was creeping up the wall next to her. The blossoms were easily the span of Alex's hand when in full bloom and put off such a strong intoxicating scent that it could almost make one feel heady.

Hours could pass when she was in here and it would seem like mere minutes. She loved the entire atmosphere of the room. The dark shadows of the trees and bushes and the vibrant white flowers that stood out when the artificial moonlight illuminated them in the dark.

Running a fingertip over the soft petals, she marveled at the velveteen touch, before tugging the blossom closer to breathe in the flowers perfume. She was so lost her observation of the flowers, that she missed the approach of muted footsteps.

"Meri?"

The smooth voice couldn't have startled her more, and Meri shot up off her seat on the stone bench, a hand held to her heart.

"Don't DO that," she hissed, embarrassed at being caught off guard…yet again.

Alex merely laughed low in his throat as he stepped into the shadows by her side, forcing her to look up to meet his gaze. "You weren't paying attention," he admonished in a decibel that was almost a whisper as his eyes tenderly caressed her face. It was obvious his thoughts weren't on what he was saying.

Meri's breathing deepened at the look he was giving her and a shiver went down her spine at the heat in his gaze. "You were shielding…you snuck up on me," she accused, hating the breathless sound of her voice. For the past months Alex had restrained himself so that these kinds of moments between the two were rare. Such an intimate moment hadn't come between them in so long that Meri had recently been longing for his touch; wondering if his love for her was dimming.

"Maybe I did," he admitted giving her a look from underneath thick, dusky lashes. He grinned lazily and Meri's eyes focused on his mouth until she felt his fingers caressing her jaw line and then her dark eyes slid shut in anticipation.

"I brought you something," he said lightly and his hands dropped away from her face sending a sharp spear of disappointment shooting through her. Frustration welled up in her when she realized that he wasn't going to touch her any more intimately then that. With a strangled sigh, Meri forced her feelings down and turned bright eyes up to him.

"Oh? Well I would have been content with just you," she smiled naughtily. She knew he had sensed the surge of emotions within her and felt he was teasing her. Well, she could tease back if he wanted to be that way. She had learned she was the only one who could break through that aloof facade he carried as a Jedi.

Alex laughed, but pushed his robe aside to retrieve something out of a pouch on his belt. Meri caught a sparkle in his hands as whatever it was he held reflected the moonlight.

"I know I've never gifted you before on Solstice, but this time things are…well," he paused and turned his gaze on her, his blue eyes appearing almost silver. "…different," he breathed and this time she knew he wanted to touch her, but was holding back.

"Alex…" she whispered in the pause, reaching up with one hand to caress his face and then slid it around his neck. To her surprise he reached up and unhooked her arm.

"Not yet. I have to give you this first," he said gently.

Not yet…

Meri wanted to demand he bypass the gift giving for now and just touch her before she went crazy. But when she turned her eyes up to look at him, the expression on his face erased those thoughts immediately.

With a movement that was almost hesitant, Alex brought his hand up between them and slowly opened his hand, presenting her with what lay in his palm.

Meri looked curiously at his palm and then back up to the sliver gaze that was watching her intently before she reached out to pick the object up. When she did, she gasped as she lifted up a delicate sliver necklace and hanging on it was the most beautiful pendent she had ever seen. It was small and delicate just like the chain. The pendent was in the shape of a star and set in the center was a sparkling gem of the most beautiful blue. It dazzled the eye and Meri had never seen anything like it before.

"Ohh," she breathed as the gem reflected the moonlight. Finally she tore her eyes away from the necklace and looked up at Alex in disbelief.

"Do you like it?" he asked huskily.

He almost looked like he was afraid she'd say no. "Ohh, Alex…it's beautiful…I love it," she finished turning her gaze back down to her hands. She couldn't believe he'd gotten something so…so extravagant for her. Jedi weren't supposed to have material possessions like this…were they?

"Turn around, let me put it on for you," he offered, taking the necklace from her hands.

Meri complied, turning and lifting her hair and padawan braid out of the way as he slid the cool chain around her neck and fastened the clasps. She felt his hands settle on her shoulders and then shivers were racing down her spine as he placed open mouthed kisses on the back of her neck.

"Hmm," she sighed, leaning back against the hard solidness of his chest. Yes…finally, she thought in rapture, tilting her neck in open invitation. Goosebumps prickled her skin as his warm mouth moved over her skin and his hands dropped to settle on her waist.

I'll be keeping my hair down for the next few days, she thought hazily as he lingered overly long on one spot. But suddenly he was catching her elbow and with a swift twist had turned her to face him and pulled her close until their bodies were fitted together.

"Meri," he breathed, his eyes appearing dark silver in the light. Her pulse raced as she gazed up into his eyes and saw the heat there. She could feel his heart pounding beneath her hand that was splayed over his chest.

With a subtle movement Alex pushed her deeper into the shadows near the stone wall and bent his head to take her mouth possessively. The bond between them immediately began throbbing with the heat of their encounter and for the next few moments Meri forgot they were in the gardens. In fact the thought didn't return to her until she felt her back hit the stone wall behind her with so much force that she was temporarily winded.

Any concern was swept away however as Alex began trailing hot kisses across her throat and then began dropping kisses along her jaw line, until he reached her mouth. The pressure of his mouth lightened then as he trailed his lips over hers until it was just a gentle friction across her mouth, teasing her.

Curling her hand around his neck she tugged and taking the hint, Alex's tongue flicked out, teasing her lips before sliding in to claim her mouth. Meri moaned low in her throat as she returned the kiss with equal fervor.  Leaving her mouth, Alex began trailing kisses down her neck again; this time more aggressively as his hands began to roam…neither of the two Jedi sensed the new presence in the garden so caught up were they in their passion.

**

Obi-Wan stepped into the Nocturnal Gardens, his eyes quickly adjusting to the low lighting of the room as he began ambling down the path. He had come hoping to catch sight of Meri. He'd been away the last few months on a mission with Qui-Gon and they had just returned the day before. He knew she came here every Solstice alone and had decided that it would be a good place to catch her and have a good talk.

He had some things he wanted to tell her…

The thought went completely out of his mind, however as he turned the bend in the path.  At first, he wasn't certain what he was seeing in the shadows…two dark shapes moving slowly, until at times they almost seemed to blend into one.  Then the moans and heavy breathing reached his ears as he took a cautious step forward trying to ascertain, without using the Force just who it was he was seeing. There may have been rules in the Temple, but not all followed them. It was probably a few padawans getting carried away…

That thought trailed off as he saw the long, dark hair that was tumbling down the female's back and the hands of her taller companion running through it. A brief spark of doubt crept up….that can't be Meri…

When the realization came of who he was seeing, he stumbled backward, so shocked he found he couldn't breathe properly. He remembered only barely to conceal his presence with the Force.

Meri and...Alex? Jerking his eyes away, Obi-Wan tried to argue that it was impossible. They are master and apprentice…I've known her for…how many years? His muddled mind couldn't compute the answer right then so he settled for just thinking long enough for him to know better than to even let his mind think such a thing. It's impossible,[/i] he decided. It is just someone who resembles Alex, there is certainly no way it could be her master…

"Ohh…Alex...yes," Obi-Wan stiffened as the breathy moan reached his ears, the voice though husky, was distinctly Meri's and brought the inner conflict within him to a sharp halt.

In morbid fascination, Obi-Wan looked again, his eyes widening. He had never seen such passion between Jedi displayed so openly, much less between Alex and Meri of all people…the tall knight had Meri up against the vine covered wall, her heels locked around his waist and was kissing her. And from what Obi-Wan could tell, enjoying it immensely.

Ohh bloody hell…I can not believe I am witnessing this…

I really, really should leave, he thought, but he found himself frozen in astonishment at the sight of the Jedi Master, the usually quiet, subdued, stern Alex. This was a side he hadn't seen….no, this was a side he hadn't known  existed.

Though they were both still fully clothed, a fact he had quickly made note of concerning how they were moving, the astounded padawan could see that things between the two were quickly escalating.

Getting out of here now! Obi-Wan thought and pivoted on his heel as the sounds that reached his ears caused his face to flush red from the neck up. Before when he had thought it a few wayward padawans it hadn't bothered him, but now he knew it was Meri…and her Master…Alex….

The noises behind him faded as Obi-Wan rushed headlong for the exit. Just as the door opened there was something akin to a shriek behind him then silence just before the door closed behind him.

**

A sharp pain flared through Meri's hands as she tried to catch herself as she was unceremoniously dumped onto the ground and she couldn't help the brief shriek of surprise that escaped.

He dropped me

For a moment she was too stunned to think, pulled off the brink of passion it took a moment for it to clear. Looking up, all she could tell was that Alex was standing with his back to her, looking intently toward where she knew the exit of the room to be. Something about his manner alarmed her and the guilt she was sensing flooding their bond was tangible.

"What…," she began to ask, lifting her hand, but the flare of pain stopped her words.

"Ouch," Meri hissed, bringing her hand up before her, trying to see in the dark what had caused the pain. She could feel damp stickiness around the area of pain but before she could examine it further, Alex was kneeling in front of her, gently taking her hand in his.

"I'm sorry, mo chridhe," he breathed as his hands found a piece of shale embedded in her hand. Quickly he pulled out the paper-thin rock and cast it aside, staunching any blood flow with the corner of his robe. Removing it a few moments later he peered at her hand closely.

"It's not too bad," he assured as he looked up to meet her gaze. Then, "I sensed Obi-Wan just now…I think he saw us."

Meri's dark eyes widened at his words. She had been so caught up in the passion of the moment she hadn't sensed anything at all. "I'll talk to him," she offered quickly. "He'll understand…he won't tell anyone."

Alex stood and paced a few feet away, obviously disturbed by what had just occurred.  "I'm sorry, Meri. I shouldn't have gotten so carried away…I was careless." he turned to her and his expression was conflicted. "Another mistake like this could ruin everything. I'm sorry," he repeated.

Meri stood easily and moved until she was standing so close to him he was forced to look down. "I'm not…in fact," she paused, biting her lip and then reached up with her good hand to caress his cheek. "Let's go back to our quarters." Though the words sounded innocent enough, her tone wasn't.

Alex's eyes had slid shut as her hand caressed his face, but at her words they flew open and she could see the startled expression in them. "Meri, no, we can't," he was quick to object, but his voice was uneven.

She frowned at this. "Why not? I want this…I know you do."

Alex closed his eyes briefly as he ran a hand restlessly through his dark hair. He knew it too; his blood was still running like molten lava through his veins from their previous encounter and the way Meri was standing so close to him now was not helping him. She didn't realize how tempting she was. He would love to do what she asked of him, especially in light of what he had given her earlier that night, though she didn't know.

"Because…you are not a knight, yet." He wasn't prepared for her answer.

"But I'm a woman," she said defensively, as if it needed proving.

Whirling away from her, Alex took a few hurried steps before half turning to face her again, his composure almost shattered. "I realize this," he said roughly. More than she knew. He turned his gaze on her, allowing his eyes to roam her figure openly, conveying the heat of attraction he felt for her in his eyes. He knew he had accomplished it when she shuddered under his scrutiny.

"Alex..."

"Meri, no!" His voice was firm. "As much as I want to consummate want we have—and you have no idea how I struggle daily against giving in knowing you sleep just down one of the shortest corridors in the Temple—we can't!" He Paused and took a breath, his hand running nervously through his hair.

"Not only would that compromise my honor as your Jedi master, but if it was found out after you were knighted that I had been sleeping with you, you could be striped of your rank. And they would probably throw me out of the Temple." He silently willed her not to push this issue, for if she did he wasn't certain where they would end up that night.

"I'm sorry, Alex. It's just I…" she trailed off and looked frustrated.

We're both frustrated, the knight thought shifting uncomfortably on his feet and with a subtle move making certain his robe was pulled closed.

"This is just so…so hard," she finally sputtered.

Alex didn't even fight the grin that tipped his mouth at her choice of words. Yes and it's all your fault, he thought wryly.

"I know, Meri," he moved to take her hands in his and looked down on her. "Never forget how much I love you, even though I can't show you…yet," he added with a playful sparkle in his eyes. As he looked down into Meri's eyes he saw her dark eyes soften and he couldn't help raising his hand to gently cup her cheek.

 "I think you need to go talk to Obi-Wan, mo chridhe. He's probably traumatized," he managed to joke lightly when all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and kiss her until they were both breathless.

Meri nodded with a smile. "I guess I should go now, before it gets too late in the evening. Don't want him telling Qui-Gon," she added lightly.

Alex frowned at the words. Qui-Gon Jinn while known as somewhat of a maverick would never take such news lightly. He could make trouble for them if he found out. "I'm worried about this, Meri. I hope you know Obi-Wan as well as you think. This could all be torn out from under our feet for my one careless act."

"It wasn't just your fault, Alex. We both were carried away, more than we should have been," she added, though it was obvious to knight that the words were hard for her to admit to him. He knew she had been longing for his touch as much as he had longed to assure her of his love.

"We'll both be more careful in the future." His eyes never left her face as he lifted her injured hand. Finally he dropped his eyes and studied the jagged gash. Lifting her hand, he placed a feather light kiss on the cut. Then, "I think you better go now and put some bacta gel on this hand before you visit Obi-Wan," he finished, focusing his blue eyes on her warm brown ones.

"Yes, Master," but her words held a teasing note as she stressed the word 'master'.

Alex grinned as she withdrew her hand and after casting another 'look' at him over her shoulder, turned and moved gracefully out of sight. Something told him that when the time came for them to take their relationship that step further she wasn't going to play the timid part.

"Insolent padawan," he murmured good-naturedly before making his own way out of the Nocturnal Gardens.

**

"Master Jinn is Obi-Wan available?" Meri inquired politely of the tall Jedi master.

Qui-Gon smiled at the young women before stepping back to allow her to pass. "He's in his room, Meri. Go right on in."

Meri smiled back and nodded her thanks before moving past the master, her hands clenching in the folds of her robe. She couldn't deny to being nervous about trying to explain all this to her best friend.

When she stepped into the open doorway of his room, Obi-Wan was lying on his back on his bed, hands under his head as he stared up at the ceiling. A frown was furrowing his brow. At the movement in the doorway his eyes were drawn to her and he sat up quickly, his face masked of any emotion.

"Hi," she offered finally amidst the silence. "Can I come in?"

Obi-Wan nodded and Meri stepped in, palming the controls so the door slid shut behind her. For the next few minutes they simply stared at one another….an uncomfortable silence Meri hadn't experienced with Obi-Wan in years.

"I thought you two might have been a little preoccupied to notice me, but I guess I was wrong," he finally said.

"Alex noticed you," Meri began her cheeks flushing.

Obi-Wan scrubbed his face with his hands as though to rid his eyes of the image that was burned into his memory. "Meri tell me I was hallucinating…that I didn't see you and…and Master Arieh…" he trailed off in disbelief.

"I can't Obi," Meri fidgeted with her hands. "Because you weren't."

Obi-Wan stared at her incredulously and intently as if trying to discover what madness had come over his best friend. He had noticed over the last year some minimal changes in her, but he'd never thought this. She seemed to glow with happiness and he had to admit he hadn't thought to connect it with her master, even though the two had become almost inseparable. There was a light in her eyes now that caused them to shine and her cheeks were flushed.

"You're in love with him!" he gaped at the sudden realization.

"Yes," she admitted quietly.

"And he's…"

"In love with me," Meri filled in for her shocked friend.

"How?"

Meri frowned at this but Obi-Wan hastily amended his question.

"I mean how did this happen? Isn't he a bit…old for you? How old is he, anyway?"

"I…I don't know! It just happened!" She gave him an exasperated look before continuing. "He's only twenty-six, Obi-Wan. And it's not as if we planned this."

"Well I should certainly hope not! This sort of thing…well the Council would never approve. The aspect that you're his apprentice doesn't even enter into it, though I'd almost trade my lightsabre for a look at their faces if they were to find out!"

The young woman gave him a disapproving glance for his last statement before her dark eyes turned serious, lending one the feeling that her age was greater than her nineteen years. "I've found, Obi-Wan, love isn't something you can control. Neither one of us chose this path and we both fought it, for a time."

Obi-Wan shook his head, his padawan braid swinging with the movement. "Meri be careful. I don't know about love, Jedi aren't supposed to love the way you two proclaim to love each other, but I do know that the Council would not hesitate to react swiftly to such news. Being thrown out of the Order might be the least of your worries," he added softly.

Meri took in a deep breath before answering. "Yes we [b]both[/b] know all of this, but Obi-Wan we couldn't be separated," her voice wavered as she spoke. "I don't think I could bear to lose another master and they would have torn us apart!"

Obi-Wan's blue-green eyes softened and he didn't add that they might still if they were found out. He knew she spoke the truth. He had been there when she'd been devastated by her first master's loss and he'd never felt so helpless. "Well, you'll accomplish that yourselves with doing that sort of thing in public! I would think your master would be more careful!" This time it was Obi-Wan's turn to blush.

"I know, but we didn't mean to go that far," Meri assured quickly, her own face flooding with color.

"Do you normally?"

"What?"

"Go that far?"

Understanding dawned and Meri was thankful that Alex had stopped them from going further like she had wanted. She could see her master was right now. "No, Obi-Wan. We haven't gone that far before, it was just," she sighed longingly. "We hadn't allowed ourselves much contact in the last few months and it was like letting a dammed river loose."

Obi-Wan grinned for the first time since she arrived. "Interesting analogy," he quipped.

"I know it's hard to understand, but please try to Obi," she pleaded.

"I'm still trying to decide how I feel about my best friend and her Jedi master being lovers, but if you're asking if I'll tell anyone you know better than that. I won't tell anyone, I promise."

Meri smiled in relief, but her cheeks were tinged pink again. "We aren't lovers yet, Obi-Wan. We are waiting until I am a knight."

"Interesting concept of waiting you have there. Pardon me if I term what you two were doing as being lovers," Obi-Wan shot back, his lips twitching.

"You're teasing me now!" Meri accused, her own lips turning up in a smile.

"I have the right! I don't think I'll ever be able to get that image nor the sounds out of my head! I'm corrupted for life."

Meri bit her lip and only turned a darker shade of red. "You always did have rotten timing," she said finally. "Why were you there anyway? The Nocturnal garden is usually abandoned during Solstice."

"I could tell you both thought so," Obi-Wan replied drolly. "Actually I was looking for you. See if you had heard the latest news?"

Meri frowned and shook her head. "News? I guess not."

"Well I can see how you've been occupied lately," Obi-Wan teased, which earned him a 'look' from his friend.  "The Council has decided to try and help the image the Republic have of Jedi as reclusive and withdrawn from society."

"And how are they going to do that?" Meri's eyebrows had climbed at this revelation.

"Apparently they're going to begin a program of sorts that isn't unlike an exchange program."

"You mean allow non-Force users to live in the Temple?" Meri's voice was incredulous.

Obi-Wan nodded. "From what Master Qui-Gon has told me, yes. I haven't heard all the details, those are being kept pretty quiet yet."

"Sounds like a bid to pacify those in the Senate who say Jedi are hoaxes and recluses who practice an outdated religion," Meri said with a touch of sarcasm.

"It was the Council's decision," was all the younger padawan said in return. And the unspoken was glaringly obvious, even if neither one really believed it. If the Council had approved it, then it must be the will of the Force.