A/N: The character Rani Veko was created by the writer Rani Veko. From here on out most of these post will be a mix of my writing, Rani Veko's writing and Derisa's writing. The reason for this, was that this storyline was originally created in a round robin and these two authors had a part in my storyline. A few other characters will be introduced that are not mine as well, i.e. T'lor Kaden…these are the creation of their authors. I'll inform which post are mostly written by who at each posting. In this case, the first post with Meri and Alex was written by me, the other parts with Rani were written by RV. Thanks for reading and replying. --MI

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The next few weeks that went by weren't easy for Meri and she sensed it wasn't any easier for Alex. The tension that had sprung up between them was a living thing. They fought it daily, hourly, minutely when they were together alone in their quarters and at night Meri would lie awake, alone in her bed thinking of how close Alex was and how she wished she was curled up in his arms. At times she almost wished she hadn't experienced that one night when she was ill and had slept in his embrace. It only made the longing sharper.

She knew he always sensed these bouts of insomnia because he was usually awake too. Their bond was so strong now, that every thought or emotion was in some way sensed by the other and this, while incredible to experience, wasn't helping matters in the least. They were hanging on a thread of control and Meri well knew it.

Your thoughts are so loud they're keeping me awake,the mental voice that wasn't Meri's slipped into her chaotic thoughts.

Meri smirked in the darkness of her room and hugged her pillow tighter. Sorry, I have a lot on my mind…

I can tell,there was a pause and then, Why don't I fix us both some hot herb tea?

Meri knew she should decline, late at night alone with Alex in their quarters, but she couldn't resist. That sounds wonderful, actually. I'll be right out.

There was only a wave of acknowledgement in return, though she sensed a bit of hesitancy on his part that echoed her own. They both knew they were playing with fire.

Sliding out from between the sheets, she paused only a moment to push her heavy mass of hair behind her shoulder and comb her fingers through it to arrange it in some semblance of order. With that she padded bare foot out of her room and headed down the corridor where she could hear Alex moving about.

"Obviously I'm not the only one who couldn't sleep if you were listening in on my thoughts," Meri teased as she entered the room.

Alex glanced up as she came in and the smile he sent her way was warm enough that it caused her stomach to flutter. "You have to admit, it is an entertaining pass time," he replied, eyes laughing as he worked to heat the water.

Meri didn't reply to this, instead took a seat and placed her chin in her hand as she watched the man opposite her work. His hair was mused and she had a sneaking suspicion he'd been running his hands through the midnight black locks. As usual a few stubborn locks hung down over his forehead aiding the boyish look about him as he also padded barefoot around the room. She couldn't help but smile at this.

"Quit staring at me," Alex ordered as he poured the hot tea into two cups, then, "And what are you grinning at?"

"You," she laughed lightly, taking the steaming cup of liquid he handed her. "Your hair is all mused…you've been running your hands through it haven't you?" she accused, amusement lacing her tone.

Alex grinned as he sat opposite of her, his hands cradling his hot tea. "How would you know? I have been in bed you know? One's hair does tend to get all mused during that activity."

Meri's eyes narrowed as she playfully studied the knight's hair. "No," she finally decided. "That is definitely the work of your hands, so what's up?"

The knight suddenly breathed out and his expression became serious. "I've had much to think on, Meri. You know Rani Veko's master has been missing for some time now?"

Meri nodded her eyes never leaving his face. "Yes, I'm very sorry for her, I know something of what she must be going through."

"Yes I'm certain you do," Alex nodded and he smiled tenderly at her before continuing. "Since I'm her close friend I've been asked if I would be interested in helping her prepare for her trials as she is close to achieving that goal and I have agreed."

"I hope they find her master…I can't imagine going through my trials with the knowledge that you were missing." The very thought sent a shudder running through her.

"I'll do all I can to help her of course, but I'm worried about how this is effecting her. Our first session is in the morning, so it is heavy on my thoughts."

Meri sipped her tea, before smiling at Alex. "I'm sure you'll be just what she needs. You two have always been such good friends." Meri cocked her head to the side and thought a moment before continuing. "How long have you known Rani, anyways? I know you knew her when you first took me on as an apprentice, but how long before then?"

Alex grinned at the question and leaned forward in his seat. "Oh well, let's see. Rani and I go back to our early padawan days. She's changed a lot in the last few years, growing older and maturing I guess. I have to admit we haven't always kept in touch since I became a knight and master."

Meri's brown eyes sparkled playfully. "Oh, early padawan days indeed? Sounds like she'd be a good resource to hear about you in your younger days! All those best kept secrets? " At the look Alex gave her, Meri laughed. "I'll have to ask!"

Alex gave a brief snort of laughter. "I had no secrets as a padawan."

"Hmm," Meri mused, lacing her fingers around the hot mug and pretending to look thoughtful. "No secrets as a padawan?" her delicate eyebrow arched playfully. "Then you must have some now for certain."

Alex grinned. "Maybe."

"So I should ask her?" Meri questioned lightly, a faint smile still tilting her lips.

The look he gave her then absolutely smoldered. "Rani doesn't know my best kept secret."

"Oh?"

"No."

Meri could feel the fine hairs on her arm standing on end at his expression, but continued to play along. "Secret? There is only one?"

Alex grinned boyishly then and she could see, even in the dimness his eyes were a dusky violet. "You are my best kept secret, mo chridhe."

Meri smiled at this, the expression brightening her face as she twirled a lock of her dark hair around her finger. "And you are mine," she promised.

A few minutes of silence passed where they simply gazed at one another and then Meri slowly rose to her feet. "I think I'll return to bed now, Master." There was a slight inflection on the word master that was meant to remind them both of the role they were supposed to be playing.

Alex caught it and the intense light faded from his eyes. "Yes I think that would be best."

**

Rani made her way quickly down the corridors, glancing at her chrono more often than necessary. I can't believe I slept in...*again*! He's going to *kill* me! Pushing past an oncoming group of initiates, she finally arrived at her destination: Training Room 4. She paused only to collect herself before pressing the button to open the door.

Alex was kneeling in the middle of the room, lightsabre laid neatly at his side. His side was to her, and hands placed calmly on his thighs. Rani held her breath, wondering for a moment if she should disturb him, or if he was even aware of her presence.

"You're late," came the lilting accent, the man's eyes still closed.

"Sorry, sorry," she said as she quickly moved to the bench to remove her robe.

"Punctuality is a trait the Jedi Council looks highly upon for students training for Knight hood," he said in a teasing voice.

"So is patience," she teased back, circling around to face him where he knelt. "I'm sorry...I overslept. Did you hear? T'lor passed her Trials this morning!" she said, brightening in her excitement.

"Was there much doubt she would?" The lids lifted from his crystalline eyes and he shot a glance at the Padawan. He drew in a breath, and his brow tightened in a momentary frown. "Have you slept at *all*?" he asked, concerned.

"Sure," she shrugged, "Like I said, I *overslept*...I was up briefly at dawn with Master Dway to meet T'lor when she came out, but I went back to bed after," she fingered her lightsabre. "So, are we going to *do* this, or do I have to stay a lowly padawan forever, huh?" she said with a laugh.

"Well, the braid does suit you..." he said slyly, then his face broke into a broad grin. "What was it you were saying about patience?" he asked as he rocked his toes under himself and rolled smoothly to his feet.

"Oh, very funny, Alex," was all Rani could think of as a return jibe, and she shook her head. "Katas first?"

"Of course. You did well enough yesterday, so we'll just warm up with a few of them," he said, moving to give Rani room. He rolled his shoulders and assumed a three-quarter posture to the wall, Rani following suit. When she was in position, he nodded his head, and ignited his sabre, placing both hands on the hilt in a stylized gesture, and stepped into the first attack and defense combination. Rani was a half-second behind him, and he paused as he reassumed the guard stance, right arm across his chest and sabre to the side, so that its glare was not in his eyes. Together they moved through the second and third strokes and steps of the slow kata, their blades humming in the still air of the practice room.

Breathing slowly and evenly as one, the two Jedi stepped in unison, blades singing out simultaneously, attack and defense, double steps forward and back, and then returning to correct guard stances. The slow katas were a focusing exercise for the mind and body, the precision of each stroke and footstep being guided by a thousand years of tradition.

Alex sent an approving look her way, saying only, "Let's do the four winds kata, now, half speeds." The pattern was to use the same series of strokes in all four directions with a transition step between, and was one of the best basic training katas for its grace and efficiency, as well as the careful control needed to place the blows precisely. Done at full speed, the lightsabre became a blur of brightness, while the Jedi wielding it seemed to stand still but for miniscule movements of his arms. At half-speeds it was easier to see the minimal arm movements, and there were clear halts in the flow of the sword's movement.

As they worked, a smile came to Rani's lips. It was just like old times, she thought, reminded of the year she spent working doubly hard just to remain in the training her Master had intended for her. Alex had been there for her then, a padawan of nineteen, teaching the sixteen-year-old what he knew best. Nothing had changed, except that Alex was a Master with a padawan of his own, and now T'lor was a Knight. The smile disappeared into a frown as that reality hit Rani, and she tried to regain her focus on the moment, mirroring Alex's movements.

This time they started the kata at the exact same moment, flowing through the simple patterns with ease, their blades' twin images of purple and azure, and the air smelled of ozone from the heat of the weapons. When they had resumed their guard stances at the end of the second kata, Alex turned to face Rani and gave a small smile of satisfaction. "That last was good," he said, "Very clean."

"Thanks," she grinned back.

"Feeling up to a spar?" he asked casually.

"Bring it on!" she said with a note of challenge in her voice. She knew she couldn't beat him, but the idea of trying was satisfying enough: it had been too long since she had held a sabre hilt instead of a cane.

Her answer brought a gleam to his crystal blue eyes, and he quirked a brow at her cocky tone. He stepped towards her, dialing down the heat of his sabre, and gesturing for her to do the same. When their blades were at half power, he assumed the two hands forward offensive stance, facing his opponent but just outside of striking distance. Rani drew a tight breath and stepped into her position, and the mock combat began.

**

Alex glided forward, tilting his blade towards himself with a push of his lower hand, then pulling quickly with the same hand to lick out a fast stroke at Rani. Her bright blade caught his in a crashing buzz as she blocked the preliminary blow with ease, letting her movement deflect his sword away from her body. Alex flowed with the movement and stepped in closer, pressing his physical advantage, but still gearing up in speed as he brought his blade up and around for a side on stroke. Rani remained guarding her middle, a style that allowed her the most coverage while she assessed her opponent. It was a conservative tactic, but a very effective one, favored by many of the Jedi Masters, for excellent reasons.

Alex continued to press forward, still not going as fast as he could, so he was surprised when a simple feint to Rani's side proved successful. She fell for the feint to the right fully and blocked a stroke that was reversed before it had even been placed, scoring instead a clean cut to her left flank, which startled her. Her clothing was plenty to protect her from the momentary contact of Alex's blue blade, but Rani's blue eyes were wide with shock that she'd missed the block.

Alex pulled his weapon up into the guard stance and looked at her quizzically. "That was a very basic feint, Rani." he said, raising an eyebrow at her error, "You aren't focussing nearly enough if that can slip through your guard."

Rani's forehead lowered into a frown of concentration, and she gave a small nod. "It was just..."

"We'll just try it again. I'll start back a few strokes. Wait for it, all right?" he asked, keeping his tone light.

He's right. Got to focus. Concentrate! she commanded herself as she resumed her guarding stance.

Alex shifted his grip to loosen his wrists, more to give his sparring partner a moment to tighten her focus, and then he stepped back into the striking range. A few of the same attacks he had used earlier, and he again threw the feint and shot combination to her left side, a little faster than before, aware that she may over-block. He stopped his blade before it contacted her side, stepping back and switching his sabre off as he eyed Rani. She'd missed the block again, the exact same pattern of strokes.

"I'm sorry...let me try it again," she said quickly, flustered even more this time.

"Rani, you need to focus." Alex's eyes locked onto the young woman's face, "This is a *simple* feint. Would you like to meditate for a few minutes, balance yourself?"

"No. That's okay, really." Rani's face took on a pained expression, "Could we just try again? I know I can do it this time."

Alex shook his head. "I really must insist that you at least try to center yourself before we go through that combination again," he said firmly.

"Oh for...-" but she stopped the curse as she caught his determined look. Resisting would get her nowhere, she knew. "All right, all right..." she relented as she powered down her sabre and placed it on the floor. "This might take a while..." she warned as she knelt on the mat.

Alex regarded the padawan as she took a deep cleansing breath and closed her eyes. She rolled her shoulders back and relaxed herself, finally settling into a motionless posture. Over the next few minutes, he could sense her repeated attempts at reaching an inner calm so that she could center herself with the Living Force, but each time she came close, her frustration would drive it away, and with each failure came more frustration. Finally, Rani opened her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "I guess I'm having an off day," she remarked bitterly.

"Would you like me to guide you through?" he asked gently. As she squirmed a little at the invitation, he said confidently, "I do *have* a padawan, you know. I have had some practice at guiding meditations."

"I don't know," she said with slow uncertainty, "To be quite frank, I feel a little stupid...I haven't needed meditation guidance since I was..."

"A distracted, hormonal teenager?" he asked with a wide grin, enjoying the blushing response his teasing evoked.

"Oh, that makes me feel *so* much better, thank you," she shot back dryly through her embarassment.

"Rani, it's not so much help, as a friend along the path, someone to walk part of the way with, as it were." Still he could feel her hesitation, and he sighed, "Oh, stop being such a baby about it, it's me, Alex? We've known each other for years. If you can't trust *me*, then..." his blue eyes were sincere as they met her own.

"All right, fine, just knock it off with the eyes thing already," she said in an annoyed tone, though her smile told him she was teasing right back. "Men!" she said with a huff as he knelt down across from her.

Alex grinned at that, and then his face relaxed into a serene expression. "Are you done?" he asked her quietly. At her nod, he signaled for her to close her eyes, and then paused. When his voice came again, it was a low, mellow tone. "Breathe with me. Long and deep and slow, in…and out. Feel your body relax into that simple rhythm, in…and… Good." The words flowed as easily as the katas had earlier, and Alex radiated an aura of tranquility. "Now I want you to go deeper, open yourself to a sense of the Force around you. Let it flow around you, feel it's presence even as you feel mine."

Rani felt rather silly at first, her mind hearing only a patronizing tone from the Jedi Master. It was no different than the words and tone her own Master had used when she was a youth, but Alex was much younger than Davin, and Rani was far from being fifteen years old anymore.

"Rani, relax." Alex told her, a mild admonishment in his low voice, "Trust me."

I do trust you, came the quiet reply in his mind. I'm just...

I know. Alex replied, more of a rush of understanding and acceptance than any distinct words. Follow me this way then, and he let his mind open to the flow of the Force, so that she could feel his connection through the open portal of his thoughts and feelings Like a wind, the Force blew through him, linking him to every living thing in the Galaxy. He soared on that powerful connection, holding out a tendril of his mind to his friend so that she might share in his perception.

Only gradually did Rani allow her own shields fade, so accustomed had she grown to keeping them firmly in place. Reaching out with her own thoughts, she tentatively grasped the link he offered, and she marveled at the experience as though it was her first time feeling it as an initiate. When faced with the connection to everything the Force touched, it was impossible to take it for granted.

Alex could feel the wonder from his friend and knew she had finally been able to reconnect with the Force for herself. Rani, he called to her, You have had a hard time with this for a while, haven't you? Do you want me to help you? The thoughts were accompanied by such a flow of sincere concern and an eagerness to help her through whatever was troubling her, that Rani was momentarily breathless with the richness of the feeling.

I honestly don't know why... she called back, almost desperate, It's like it gets harder and harder every day, Alex! It's been over a week... Rather than answer his offer of help directly, her shields eased carefully, granting him the access to her mind he required.

Alex's presence was a gentle pressure, and his own barriers were minimal as he sought for any probable cause of her difficulties. He soared lightly over the contours of her mind, finding two connections to beings outside of herself. The first was a strong forged link, and he could feel the traces of T'lor's presence along it. It pulsed with life, though was quiet for the moment. T'lor was asleep, exhausted from her Trials.

The second bond was far more transparent and tenuous, as though the bond had been stretched very thin. In spite of its fragility, it seemed to pulse still with the Force. Alex dared not examine it closer, knowing full well with whom Rani shared that second, perhaps more important bond.

He searched through Rani's being, finding many, nearly overwhelming feelings of helplessness and bitterness, feeling abandoned and unloved…alone. Then something drew his attention: an opaque veil tucked in the corner of her mind, blocking off access to a part of her that seemed too large to be kept so isolated, even from herself. I think I have something here... he sent to her, and began to gently tug at the edges of the mental curtain.

No...NO!

Her command came too late, for the veil shredded under his mind's now-firmer touch, and he was suddenly immersed in a wave of powerful emotions. His amazed thoughts turned immediately to one for whom he felt the same, and a mere second later his eyes were wide and staring into Rani's, both of them too shocked to speak.

Rani...why didn't you tell me?

H-how could you? Alex, she's your *padawan*!

The two mental voices passed between them almost simultaneously, both carrying weighty amounts of disbelief and dismay.

Suddenly Rani's shields slammed into place, cutting off the last remnants of the meditative link they had held that had had such disastrous results.

Rani, don't! We need to talk about this... Alex tried to send to her, but he could not penetrate those powerful shields. "*Please*, Rani! We need to deal with this, now!" his voice was urgent, and he reached out a hand to her.

Rani leaned away from him, throwing her weight onto her arms behind her and scrambling away and to her feet. "Don't touch me! I can't believe you did that...I never wanted you to know, damn it!" She was mortified at her true feelings being exposed, and of all people to learn of it, Alex himself was by far the worst.

"Rani... I don't understand why... why didn't you tell me?" his voice was pained, and his blue eyes stared up earnestly into hers as he knelt before her.

She grabbed at her padawan braid, holding the end of it in front of her face for emphasis. "Because I have one of *these*, that's why! But I guess I've been a real idiot all this time, thinking that something as trivial as being a Jedi Master would stop you from loving a padawan, even your own!"

Alex's gaze slid away from hers, and he looked down at the floor. "Rani..." he tried, but the words came hard, "It's not... I can't help who I love, only what I do about it. But I never thought... *you*..." His brow was furrowed as he lifted his eyes to meet hers again. Braced with one hand, he rose to his feet and stood waiting, unable to find voice for the whirl of confused thoughts in his mind. "I thought you were over this harmless crush years ago? We teased you about it all the time, you-…"

"Another perfect reason to not tell you," she snapped. "And the crush did end years ago. This is way more than that." Her eyes narrowed, "What about *you*? Do you consider your feelings for Meri a harmless crush?"

Alex shook his head slowly, and answered with a quiet, "No, I don't. I see your point."

"Just tell me you're not...that you and Meri..." she shuddered visibly in disgust.

"Of course not!" he replied sharply, his face expressing pure shock at the idea, "How could you think that, Rani? I may not be able to control my heart, but I *do* control my body!"

Rani shook her head, not taking her eyes off him. "Does she know?"

"Yes, of course she does." he replied, his voice modulating to a gentler tone. "When she is knighted, Meri and I..." he let his voice trail off.

"Congratulations. I'm sure that the ends will justify the means," she said coldly as she bent to snatch up her sabre.

"Rani!" he remonstrated her, his eyes flashing with a hint of anger, "She did the right thing. She *told* me, at the very least. How long have you kept your little secret? Did you ever mean to let me know?"

"Yes...I meant to *let* you know, after I was Knighted...I hadn't planned on you coming along and ripping it out of my skull!" she said harshly, as her eyes began to glisten.

"I was trying to help..." Alex whispered, his face tight with tension, "Rani, I never meant for you to be hurt," he said slowly, reaching out towards her again.

"Don't...don't do that..." she held an extended arm and forefinger towards him, partly accusing, partly to keep him away. "It doesn't matter now. It never did. And I don't want you thinking I asked you to help me train now because of how I feel, either."

"We still don't know why you've been having so many problems... it can't be because of this?"

"No. I've...felt that way since I passed my probation...five years maybe. It can't be that, and right now, I really don't care what is," she clipped her sabre to her belt and stalked past him to the bench to gather up her robe. "Can we please drop this?"

"I am so sorry, Rani." Alex stated simply, rubbing his hands along his nose. "I truly didn't mean for this to happen..."

"Thanks for sparring with me," she said as though she hadn't heard him, "But I think under the circumstances, it better be our last session," she said as she moved for the door.

"This isn't finished between us, Rani," he said carefully, "We will need to talk about it again, soon. You do realize that, surely?"

When she turned back, the tears were falling down her bright red cheeks, "How much do I have to be humiliated, here? Please…just...leave me alone?" she croaked, her eyes pleading.

"You're too much alone, Rani..." he replied, looking at her steadfastly.

Her look turned hard all of a sudden, and she repeated far more forcefully, "Leave me alone, Master Arieh!" She force-shoved him backwards a few steps, then turned away again and disappeared through the door.