Authors Note: This is written by Derisa Rani and I.Thanks for reading and the patience in between updates.

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Rani was awakened by tears. Not the sounds of quiet sobs, for indeed her small private space was quite still, or by any rippling through the Force's fiery curtain, but by the actual sensation of ghostly tears sliding down her own cheeks, and the unheard shattering of a heart. Her wide blue-grey eyes opened, and she drew a slow, deep breath to still her own stir of emotion in response to what she sensed... no... felt. She was called to do whatever she could to help ease that desperate heart's anguish.

Silently, but strangely steady on her too-thin legs, Rani found her way to a cubicle lit only by the slow-growing daylight that crept through the curtained transparisteel window. A dark-haired girl sat at her master's bedside, her tears drying on her pale face, and she turned at the subtle shifting of air currents that announced Rani's presence at the doorway, raising large dark eyes to meet the older Padawan's concerned gaze.

"Meri." Rani's murmur broke the stillness of the sickroom, and the younger woman drew herself up, clutching the remnants of her dignity about her as a shield against whatever might come between her and her master.

"What?" Meri asked quietly, her voice rough with emotion, "What do you want?"

"To help you," Rani answered simply. "You are so... sad."

Meri's reply was a weak scoff, a poor attempt at a laugh: "Sad. Good word for it."

"May I... help?" Somehow, Rani knew all she had to do was lay her hand on the distraught Padawan, and she could help her, ease her of some of that terrible burden of loss and fear, of penetrating despair that she bore.

But Meri withdrew, her dark eyes suspicious, holding her upper arms in a tight embrace, and drawing the Force between them, a very effective insulation from any sort of contact.

Rani drew her hand back, not wanting to force the younger girl, and leaned up against the jamb of the door. Meri sprang to her feet, almost reflexively, when she was thus reminded of the older girl's debility. "Please, sit," Meri said, halfway between a plea and an order. "You shouldn't be up and about yet, I'm sure."

"Like as not," Rani smiled warmly, "But since when has that stopped me?"

As Rani took the proffered seat, Meri sucked in several calming breaths, of which the last evolved into a long yawn. Rani observed this, and noted as well the deeply engraved lines of worry and exhaustion carved into the younger girl's face. "Meri, you should get some sleep," she frowned, although she was careful to keep her tone as neutral as possible.

The protective Padawan shook her head adamantly. "Ale- my Master needs me. I'll stay awake until he is... better...?"

Rani caught both the slip, and the hesitation there, and allowed her newly awakened empathic senses to pick up Meri's vibrations of uncertainty and confusion. Withholding her sigh at the younger woman's determination, she made the only offer she could. "Well, take a quick walk then, Meri: get some air and stretch your legs. You aren't going to do him any good all pinched up and cramped, are you?" She kept her tone light but serious.

Meri pondered this suggestion for a few moments and then looked back down at her beloved's face, his face frozen in a cold parody of itself. She bit her lip. "I can't leave him like this," she pleaded, and Rani felt the full meaning of those words. She's sure he's really gone, the older Padawan realized.

"Meri, I'll stay and keep watch for you," Rani offered gently, adding "It's okay, he's here, he's safe."

Meri looked towards the door, and Rani could read the flight reflex within the younger woman fighting with her sense of duty, and her deep love for the Jedi Master that lay near to her side, insensible to the wrenching internal battles being fought within his padawan.

Rani felt, like a wind adding flare to a slow-burning fire, the sudden knowledge that Meri needed privacy to get her thoughts and feelings in order, or the storm of despair that hung dark about her would sweep her from her moorings and open her wide to her darker side.

After another breath, the padawan made her decision, and nodded to Rani. "I'm going to get some air, and something to drink. I won't be gone long at all." Rani nodded, although it was difficult to tell, from the angle of Meri's head, whether she addressed Rani, or her own, prostrate master. She gave a decisive nod of her dark head, and Rani felt a flow of affirmation from the Force, emanating from the younger girl. She knew her decision was good and right, and the steps towards the door seemed to be like her first sure steps in far too long.

Meri left, and Rani finally turned her attention to the prone body of her sore-beset friend, mentor, and object of an old infatuation that seemed to have faded from where it had once burned in her breast.

She lifted a long-fingered hand, and took his own, too pale and too cold, into hers. She let her eyes explore the familiar planes of his handsome face, and let her mind wander as she spoke in a quiet, serene voice, a soft patter of words, like the subdued crackle of sparks in a fire, warming chilled flesh and giving comfort freely and easily.

"Oh, Alex, you have to come back to us. Not for my sake alone, but for all those who love you. You are a precious light, my friend, and you are still needed."

**

His perceptions were hazy and dim, as though he was moving through a cloud of darkling mist, and he could only sense vague, ominous shapes moving around him by the currents of air that brushed against him.

He shook his head as if to clear it, but found that only made the echoing, not-quite voices worse. These were full of a sibilant hissing and seemed oily with malice, and the young Jedi had to steel himself to avoid moving closer, so strangely enticing was that alien speech.

He caught sight of a patch of brightness and moved slowly towards it, each step an act of will as he waded through the murk. He could hear a voice, a friendly voice calling his name, but he had to get through to that pool of light that beckoned to him through the darkness. Wait, I have to get *there,* first, he thought back at the caller. I have to see… But as he neared the pool of light, he could hear the evil voices getting louder, and now they... no, wait, there was only one, but she was laughing, and he shuddered at the possessive sound.

He tried to back away as a form coalesced at the center of the pool of light, a face carved of alabaster: so beautiful, but with a mouth full of sharp teeth, and her lips seemed made of blood. She smiled even wider, and her laugh echoed around him: he was trapped!

His lightsabre was in his hand, its vibrant light piercing the gloom, but the evil vision before him did not flinch. Her laughter grew louder, and he looked away from that awful mouth, only to see that she wore a sick parody of a Jedi's robes. Hers were woven of blood, the blood of his Order.

He backed away in sudden horror, his lightsabre falling from his hand, and suddenly all around him was deep, dark, oily blackness, and an echo of sickly, sensuous laughter.

"Over here!" came the voice of his friend again, and he reached out for that comfort and clung for all he was worth. This new voice was female as well, but warm and caring. It lifted him up, helped him find his wings, and guided him home.

Unused to dreaming, Alex awoke from the nightmare with a start, and he sat bolt upright in the bed, sudden pain flaring in his right shoulder.

With a breath he released the flash of fear that the pain had brought with it, freeing it through the Force, but he couldn't quell the uneasiness he felt. Something wasn't right.

He turned his head and met Rani's wide blue-grey eyes, noting offhand that her face seemed far to pale and thin, before he realized why everything felt off-balance. Something was missing, something necessary and powerful, and sustaining, and Alex's brilliant blue eyes widened as he realized what it was he was lacking.

He groped for the bond, unable to breathe for the fear that held him immobile as his mind frantically flailed for that vital connection, master to padawan, that he had not been without for so long… But no! It was gone, somehow, irreplaceably severed, and that realization hit him like a wall of ice.

"Nooooo!" Alex Arieh cried out in terror and pain, shocking the whole of the infirmary, "Master! Where are you?"

**

Eyes the color of sky turned to meet Rani's wide, surprised gaze, and she instinctively reached for her friend. At the touch of her too-hot hands, Alex blinked, as though her touch had shocked him. He winced, and Rani could feel the ghostly burn as the pain from his shoulder injury flooded along his neural pathways again. Like a lesson understood, but only half-remembered, Rani knew what she had to do. She laid her hand to his shoulder and drew his pain into her, a wave of rightness rolling through her, affirming her actions.

The pain that glazed his eyes gradually eased, but the confusion marring his handsome face remained. "Rani?" he asked, as though he were unsure of her identity too. "Where is my Master?" There was so much simple loss in the question that Rani felt the salt burn of a tear trail down her cheek. Half-sitting in his bed, the confused Jedi rested his head in his hands, as though he were afraid to look around him. When his hands encountered the short hair at the nape of his neck, another flood of panic rushed out of him, "My braid! Who cut my braid?" He lifted his eyes, braced on the slip-face of panic. "Rani, what's happened?"

Before she could answer, there was a flurry of activity out in the corridor, as healers and other infirmary personnel bustled about in answer to the cry the newly awakened Jedi had released as reality had penetrated his mazed mind. Rani widened her arms and drew him in, holding the shaking young man as Healer Leona and her assistant entered the room quietly but hurriedly.

"Awake at last, are we?" the gentle-voiced Healer asked, reaching a hand for the trembling young man. Alex flicked his worried gaze from her to Rani and then back to the Healer. "Someone cut my braid." His voice was edged, the confusion fading to a flare of anger, quickly released to the Force.

The Healer raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Somewhat confused? What day is it, Alex?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but stopped himself, his gaze turning inward as he felt the wrongness of the answer that had leapt to his mind. His forehead creased and his eyes closed. "I... I don't know."

Leona shot an anxious look at her assistant, who tapped in some notes to the datapad he carried. "Do you know your name?"

Alex frowned at her. "Of course. Alex Arieh, K'ben Oren's padawan. Well, for another week, until I take my Trials." His lips curved into a smile at the well-loved name, even as hers and Rani's expressions froze in shock. "What is it? Rani? Healer Leona, what's happened?"

"Alex?" a concerned voice interjected, and Rani looked over her shoulder to see Meri Irhanah, standing in the doorway. She brushed past Healer Leona's assistant to stand an arm's length from the bed.

Her brown eyes were wide and worried as she approached, and saw the expression on her Master's face. "Alex, it's me, Meri. Don't you know me?"

The confusion stayed in place on his face, Alex looked from the young woman who stood before him, to the familiar face of his friend Rani, and then slowly, he shook his head.

**

Master?" Meri questioned again. Surely the shake of his head didn't mean he didn't know her. He was just confused... she reasoned. He must have knocked his head…they forgot to tell me…

But instead of answering her, as Meri had expected him to, Alex turned to Rani, who's arm was still supporting the young man. His bright blue eyes wide with confusion, he glanced between Rani and Meri, finally resting his eyes on the more familiar face.

"Rani, who is she?" he asked quietly.

Dead silence invaded the room at his words.

Meri took a step back as though she had been physically hit, fighting to comprehend what she had just heard. For long seconds the only thing she was aware of was the pounding of blood in her ears...and then...it hit.

Shock rushed through her body like liquid ice, draining all color from her face as she took another step back, followed by another. The room began to fade around her, contrasted by the sharp focus of the figures before her.

Suddenly Healer Leona took a step forward, a hand held out to the apprentice. "Meri," she said cautiously, now ignoring Alex.

Meri froze, looking at the healer, but not really seeing her. She took another step back, before realizing as though from outside her body, that she was shaking badly.

"No," she whispered in a shattered tone. Looking up, she glanced again at her master and harsh reality hit even harder.

Leona was now advancing in quick steps and overcome with anguish, Meri turned and fled, ignoring the call of her name.

In blindness, she rushed through the infirmary, trying to escape the empty feeling within and the unbearable pain that ripped at her insides.

Lost in her own world, Meri didn't notice the blue figure standing ahead, but he noticed her.

With a small movement of his elbow, he clipped her in passing and spun her around.

Through the advancing fog, Meri recognized An-Paj's concerned face as he gripped her arms, holding her steadily in place.

"Meri, what is it?" he asked gently. The tell tale sign of her dilated eyes told of shock.

She shook her head unable to answer, unable to voice the words, "He doesn't remember me." But with the thought formed in her mind, she realized something else, almost cringing as it seared across her mind.

If he doesn't remember you...he doesn't love you...

With this final straw, her delicate hold on reality cracked, and Meri went sliding into darkness.

**

An-Paj caught the limp form in his arms, as Meri collapsed in a dead faint. Over her dark head, he could make out Healer Leona hurrying towards him, her face lined with worry and the fatigue of a long night.

"Thank goodness," the healer said softly as she approached him.

"What's happened?" An-Paj questioned grimly as he hefted the apprentice into his arms and carried her to a near by bed.

It may have been a long night for Healer Leona, but for him, it had been a very short night indeed. Having spent hours in the infirmary that wasn't his shift, and then not being able to sleep for his concern for his patients—this patient—he hadn't got enough rest.

"Alex awoke," Leona stated softly.

An-Paj raised one brow in question, but said nothing.

"He doesn't remember her," the healer said, coming directly to the point.

An-Paj straightened stiffly and looked sharply at Leona.

"He's just awoken, but so far we've learned he thinks he's still a padawan, just before his trials. He is distraught that his braid is missing and that his bond with his Master is gone. He," she paused and glanced down at the comatose young woman. "He didn't recognize her when she came in the room. He asked Rani who she was."

An-Paj shook his head at the words. "In her presence?"

"She was standing not three feet away."

The healer's blue antennae swirled ever so slightly in distress, conveying just how much this news disturbed him. Meri's mental state had been delicate before hand. To learn of her Master in such a way had put her in shock. Thankfully he didn't sense that she had retreated behind any inner walls again, only fainted from the shock.

Reaching for the standard gray blanket of the infirmary, An-Paj tucked it around the apprentice before turning his attention back to Leona. His pale blue eyes held within a sudden weariness that hadn't been brought on by his lost night of sleep.

"I have recently learned that Reis-An Halle is at the Temple," he paused, glancing at the small healer. "I suggest we call her in immediately."

Leona's somber face did not change expression at the familiar name of the mind healer, but only nodded grimly. They both somehow knew that by the time all was said and done, the mind healer's services would be more than called for.