Authors Note: This is written by Derisa,and I. You ARE going to notice this is written by different people. I really can't help that and I certainly can't go back and rewrite these people's characters. Just remember this last half was originally a round robin and I had to do a LOT of sizing down to get it to fit in, without bringing in more peoples characters. Thanks for reading and the patience in between updates.

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The Mind Healers were one of the most specialized vocations of the Jedi Order. These precious few individuals could sense the patterns of energy flowing within an individual's psyche, and, using the Force in the most delicate of manipulations, could guide it back to more healthy channels. For generations, the Jedi had maintained a facility on a small, out-of-the-way system, where healing arts of all kinds and types were learned and practiced. Called Sanctuary, the chief Mind-Healer's domain was an isolated island, tranquil and serene and surrounded by lush life in all its myriad forms.

Foremost teacher and practitioner of that esoteric calling, Reis-An Halle had breathed in the Force for almost eighty years, although she did not show her physical age in the petite lines of her frame, or in her serene visage, wise if mostly unlined. She was not, and never had been a pretty woman, but her calling and her outlook had granted her a certain, regal calmness of presence, and many had noted how the Force seemed to swirl through her, as though refining her with every breath: sifting through the core of her being and carrying away the dross with every exhalation.

Her whole life, she had been where she was called to be, where her particular skills and talents, her Gift, would do the most good for the most people. She was disturbed that she was needed *here*, of all places, but since arriving, she had felt the disturbances in the Force's usual even flow. Disturbance creates disturbance, and the cycle builds, she thought as she moved down through the levels, sending out her personal peace like a herald before her, and leaving it like a wake of soothing energies behind her.

She moved through the Temple's corridors, like a freshening breeze, heading for the Infirmary, where she felt a roil of disruptive emotions: fear and terror, confusion and sorrow reigning. She reached the infirmary and was ushered into the Master Healer An Paj's small office.

"I cannot tell you how glad I am that you are here at this time, Master Halle," he began, to open the conversation. His antennae quirked and through whatever esoteric and undefineable sense the Jedi accessed to touch the life-Force of the Galaxy, Reis-An could see him filtering bits of information from the flow of the Force around him. She gave a contemplative nod.

"I am, as always, wherever I am needed." She drew another deep breath, and nodded for the Temple's Master Healer to continue. "Whatever else has happened to lead up to the present situations, is important, but more, I need to know. What is happening now, and who are the people I must see to?"

A half-sigh of relief at her directness seemed to help the blue-skinned Master Healer refocus, and he detailed the situation surrounding the amnesiac master and his distraught padawan, touching on Meri's history, and letting the Mind-Healer know about the other losses and injuries the ranks of the Temple Jedi had suffered in the previous two months.

Once she was fully cognizant of the situation as it now stood, the Mind Healer drew herself gracefully to her feet and thanked An Paj for his help. "Would you come with me to see the master, Alex, was that right?"

An Paj nodded, relieved that this puzzle would soon be solved. "It is quite unlike anything I have seen before, Reis-An," he reiterated as he led her into the infirmary proper. The Mind Healer stepped through into the small room that housed the damaged Jedi, Alex Arieh. Two others sat in the room, a too-thin, older Padawan who quickly moved to offer up her seat to the Mind-Healer, and a medical aide, who was checking the invalid Jedi's vital signs.

As usual, the moment she had dedicated herself to treating a patient, all other stimuli in the room may as well have ceased to exist. She focused in so completely on her patient, that she was only conscious of the others in the room on the periphery.

Alex Arieh seemed to her to be a wounded bird, a fledgling eagle who had forgotten how to fly. It was not that he could not, but that he, who had once used the Force as a strong wind under his pinions, suddenly could not remember how to soar.

His eyes opened, and she looked into them, the color of a water world from space, glazed with an ice of spiritual pain. She sat down next to him and began to speak in a low voice, the words unimportant to the actions of her particular Gift in the Force.

"Alex. I am Reis-An. I'm here to help." He looked to her with confusion, but as she continued, he began to open up under the caress of her mind against his. An old scar, where his bond to his Master had been cut, which had been well-healed, had been recently aggravated. Furthermore, although his presence in Force denoted a Jedi well-used to the Force's flow around him, and he seemed as developed as a knight and master should be, there were gaps in his memory pertaining to his training and passing his Trials, much of his past few years, gone, ripped from his mind as though they had never been.

Reis-An had not treated many amnesiacs, especially those who suffered no physical brain trauma. The Dark Side had ripped this man's mind, but not of his own volition, and it was that fact that she held to, as a gentle steady breeze of hope to the injured Jedi. The memories that he had held closest to his heart, laid out in the most highly charged emotional areas of his mind, had left behind ragged traces. He had fought to hold these separate and sacred from whatever cruel trick had wrenched them free, and so there were some small remnants left. But more encouraging, the Jedi's memory patterns remained: the synapses and nerves of his mind still held the shape of those memories.

"You will be whole again, Alex," she said at length, having detailed to him what she had sensed as they had spoken, Alex's voice haltingly hesitant, but trusting as he felt that famous tranquility the Mind-Healer projected. "I will show you how to regain as much of yourself as you may. Will you do this?"

Alex's brow furrowed. "Of course. Why wouldn't I?" he asked.

Reis-An smiled. Like so many dedicated Jedi, Alex did not see the crossroads of decision he had been placed at. He could, at this point, decide not to be a Jedi. He could choose instead a less perilous path, still doing great good in the galaxy by virtue of his training, dedication, and basic nature, but off of the front lines in the battle for peace and justice in the galaxy. "I'll let you answer that, young man," she said easily. "Why would you choose to redo all of the training and Trials that brought you to this point? Why would you throw away a second chance to be a normal sentient of the galaxy, rather than a misunderstood servant to some indefinable Force?"

There was no hesitation in his answer. "Because it is right. I am meant to do this."

For all the terrible trauma he had suffered, his vocation was intact. Alex Arieh was a Jedi.

"Then I shall come up with ways for you to rediscover how to do it," the Mind Healer reassured her patient. "For now, I wish you to meditate. Nothing strenuous, just try to recall the joy of flight, and let the Force buoy you up. I shall return once I have looked at your options. You will be whole again, I promise you." He smiled up at her, calm for the first time since he'd awakened to the terrible knowledge that his life was not as it should be. Reis-An smiled back, feeling the ripples of his calm spreading outward from him, and most of the Infirmary relaxing as a result. Oh, there were still hot spots of tension, but this powerful young man's confusion had created much chaos.

She raised her slim hand like a benison over him and left the small room, gesturing for the Master Healer and the wraith-like young woman to join her.

**

"He is damaged, but there is hope." The Mind Healer stated quietly. "I will have a look at the other now, the padawan?"

"Meri," An Paj supplied, escorting Reis-An toward the cubicle where the young woman lay insensible to the word moving around her. "We sedated her. It seemed to be the best thing to do, under the circumstances."

"I understand." The empath turned her head and cocked an eyebrow at the young apprentice trailing the two Masters. "You need to rest more."

Rani drew herself up, unable to argue with the Mind-Healer. The woman raised an auburn brow and Rani suddenly felt the caress of that well-trained and vibrant mind against her own. Her shields slid into place, but the reaction was not what she was expecting. Instead of surprise and shock at being denied access to the young Jedi's mind, Reis-An Halle merely smiled, as though Rani had just confirmed some suspicion she had.

She said nothing, however, leaving Rani to wonder at what she might have been thinking. Instead, she turned her attention back to the blue-skinned Master Healer and followed him into the padawan's cubicle. Meri was being watched over by the silent, strawberry blonde-haired form of Obi-Wan Kenobi, who bowed out at the Healers' arrival. An Paj gave him an encouraging smile, and said in an undertone as the Mind-Healer moved past him to assess the stricken young woman, "At least you're actually having to make an effort to come down here, padawan."

Obi-Wan smiled and nodded his head, " I was just checking to see how she was doing. I heard about what happened earlier... just thought she'd need someone familiar around."

Rani wanted to stay and hear the rest of their conversation, but she felt herself drawn into the cubicle instead, irresistibly, as though her heart were tied by an unbreakable thread to the Mind-Healer and whatever mystical thing she was doing with Meri.

The padawan lay still on the flotation bed, her eyes closed, and rimmed by purplish bruising from lack of sleep. Even as Rani watched, Meri's face contorted by some great sorrow, and the other Padawan recalled her deep, and hidden feelings for her Master, and sighed inwardly as she realized fully just how terrible Alex's loss of memory must have affected Meri Irhanah.

The Mind-Healer stood over her and rested one pale freckled hand on Meri's still arm. Rani relaxed her shielding and allowed a tentative tendril out to follow what the Mind-Healer was doing.

Warmth and a healing golden light pulsed through the Force, from the healer to the stricken padawan, and she seemed to gently infuse her self into Meri's own Force patterns. Rani's brow wrinkled: there was no way she could follow along with all the fine nuances of the Mind-Healer's explorations. She could only wait and observe, hoping to learn by proximity to the renowned Master. She recalled how Ciaran had shyly sung the Mind-Healer's praises. If he had trained under the wise Jedi healer, perhaps she could learn from Reis-An as well.

Rani watched and waited, keeping all her senses open to more fully observe, and she became affected by the wonderful peace the Mind-Healer was exuding, not just through the small cubicle, but out and into the whole of the Infirmary, to slowly pervade the whole Temple.

Gradually, Reis-An pulled herself out from the quiet form of the padawan, leaving Meri's face more relaxed now, in a peaceful and comfortable sleep. She looked over Rani's shoulder to contact master An Paj, and inform him of Meri's condition.

"She is greatly hurt, but it is emotional pain, there is nothing physiologically wrong with her." The Mind-Healer paused, and seemed to consider for a stretch the options of treatment she could recommend. "Put her with her master," she decided at last.

"With Alex?" An Paj asked incredulously, "But he-"

"He needs her near him, to remind him that he is not where he recalls," Reis-An chided gently, "She needs to be near him, to work through this pain in her own way, and to be of help to him. He will remember her, if he is given enough encouragement to do so. Keeping them separate will not help either of them." An Paj paused to consider, and for the first time, Rani could sense the movements of his antennae sifting through the currents of the Force, as though he were testing the Mind-Healer's assertions.

He nodded, bowing his head before the wisdom of his colleague, and she graced him with a gentle smile as he came to the same conclusions she had. The two Healers preceded the padawan from the room, and Rani paused as she reached the door, turning back to consider the padawan of her wounded friend.

They're going to be all right, she thought, breathing in the new peace in the room, before turning back to follow the healers out into the corridor.

There's hope.

***

Meri was pulled back to awareness by the sound of low voices. At first she didn't pay them much attention, drifting in and out of consciousness, fighting the thick fog that seemed to cling to her thoughts and muddle them. Gradually her thoughts cleared enough for her to wonder why she was feeling drugged. It wasn't an alien feeling to her, rather one she recognized all too well.

Suddenly memory came crashing back in at the same time the sound of Alex's voice registered in her mind.

"Why did I take such a…young apprentice?" His tone was uncertain and slightly skeptical.

"Alex, I'm not the one who should be telling you about this."

It was Rani speaking with Alex, Meri realized and she lay perfectly still, concentrating on keeping her breathing even as though she were sleeping. Pain clawed at her insides at the memory of what had last occurred, and she fought the urge to jump up and run from the room. However, experience told her she wouldn't get far with the effects of a sedative still running through her system.

There was a long silence, and then Alex asked slowly. "You…disapproved?"

There was a pause and then Rani replied quietly. "That's not important, Alex. What is important is how do you feel about it yourself, now?"

Another heavy silence ensued. "If you're asking me if I would do it again…if looking at her now I want to take her as my apprentice, Rani, then the answer is no. I don't understand why I would take someone so close to my own age…she doesn't look that much younger…," he trailed off, his voice sounding thoroughly confused, but Meri was no longer listening.

The words had the same affect as a physical blow thrown by his own hand. Past the point of caring if they knew she was awake, Meri turned on her side, back to the two Jedi and curled into a small ball, her nails biting into her hands as she clenched them, silent tears running down her face. Despair was a knife of pain so strong it almost took her breath.

"Alex, don't say that. You have to remember you're not 21 anymore. You're 26 now. I know that is hard to understand, but just give it time. You were a good Master to her."

"Was I?" His voice was broken and confused. "I don't remember….I don't remember anything…," he trailed off.

"I'm sure they'll give you the records Alex…you had a good reason to take her as your apprentice. You made a difference in her life, you'll see."

"I'm not ready…Rani…I don't think I'm ready to have an apprentice, for whatever the reason. I don't even know who I am anymore."

Every word pierced Meri through like a vibro blade and with each word she became number and number, feeling lost and completely alone. She fixed her eyes on the wall in front of her and tried to push all the pain into the small corner of her mind. She knew how to do this. She'd done it before when Master Caer died. The only feeling left was numbness…numbness that left her limbs shaking with cold. She closed her eyes and tried to drown the voices out…but despite her efforts they filtered in, like the words out of a nightmare.

"Alex don't worry about this now, you're still recovering; just concentrate on getting well and finding that out, who you are. You can deal with having an apprentice later," Rani urged, trying to dispel the brokenness Alex displayed in his expression.

"It's hard not to think about it when they have her in here with me," he murmured quietly.

"Are you hungry, huh? Do you want to try and eat something?" Rani asked, ignoring his low words.

Running a hand through his thick, unruly black locks, Alex nodded. "Sure, I guess."

"Okay, I'll be right back then."

Meri tensed as she heard footsteps approaching her bed. Rani placed a comforting hand on Meri's shoulder, but Meri shrugged her shoulder stiffly before huddling closer into herself. "Leave me alone," she whispered only loud enough for the older padawan to hear.

Rani sighed and shook her head sadly before making her way quietly out of the room.

***

An-Paj's thoughts were elsewhere when he entered his patient's room that morning, but he was quickly brought to focus by the sight of the knight sitting in the bed, cradling his head in his hands.

"Are you doing alright, Alex?" he questioned evenly. The last few days had been strenuous on the younger man as he fought to balance the reality of his situation with what he recalled.

Alex slowly lifted his head, giving the healer a clear view of the uncertainty filling his bright blue eyes. "I'm not sure," he returned hesitantly.

"Well, tell me how you're feeling." It was obvious to An-Paj that something more was bothering the knight then just his current situation and the following question didn't come as a surprise.

"Do you know very much about the bond between a master and apprentice?"

An-Paj smiled in encouragement and nodded. "Some."

"Well I…," the knight began somewhat haltingly, pausing to run a hand through his hair.

An-Paj had to hold back a smile at the well-known gesture that usually signaled how uncertain or nervous Alex was.

"I, well I just feel as though something is missing. Or…it's not, it is just veiled by a blank wall and I can't reach through it."

"You can't rush this, Alex. Remember what Reis-An told you. You won't recover everything over night and some things might take years to recover if at all. You must have patience."

Alex relaxed back against the pillows behind him, his expression confused. "It just all feels so wrong…as though I'm missing something that I should be able to see clearly! Is it my bond with my Master…?" he trailed off uncertainly.

Any amusement faded at the question and the healer thought quietly for a moment. He knew Alex was not referring to the bond he had held with Meri, but to the bond he had long ago held with his own Master.

"Alex," he began gently. "Before this incident occurred you had been a knight and Master to a padawan for five years. The bond you held with your Master was dissolved when you became a knight.

Now while what has just happened has reopened you to feeling that loss, it is not what is dominating these feelings of yours." He paused to see if Alex was following what he was saying but was met only with a blank look.

"The loss you feel is caused by the bond that was broken between you and your apprentice. Not your Master."

A look of understanding crossed the younger Jedi's face and An-Paj felt his heart, already heavy, become more leaden at the thought of Meri. Shortly after she had been placed in the room with Alex she had managed to sneak out. No one knew where she was and no one could find her, despite the fact a few small searches that had been done. She was either shielding heavily in a good hiding place or had actually left the Jedi Temple. The latter was a sobering thought for everyone. Meri had still been somewhat under the influence of sedatives when she left the infirmary and he wouldn't have called her mental state entirely stable. Combined there wasn't much of a chance for her in the darkness of Coruscant.

"Then she feels this way as well?"

An-Paj looked up at the question, trying hard to control any expressions that would give away just how much she felt and how serious it was. "Yes, Alex," he said simply, deciding against mentioning she probably felt it one hundred times more than he because of her past.

"Is she…" he began as his eyes actively searched out the stranger that was his apprentice. Finding the room empty, the gaze turned back to the healer.

An-Paj laced his fingers together. "She's having some trouble dealing with all this. It seems she thought she needed time to be alone and think."

"I understand." While the words were sincere, An-Paj could see that the tone of his words and what it implied hadn't slipped by Alex .

No, An-Paj didn't know where Meri was, but right at that moment he very much wished he did.

**

Obi-Wan moved carefully through the deserted wing of the Temple, noting how his feet made imprints in the heavy layers of dust covering the marble floors. The eighteen year old had been searching for his friend off and on since hearing of her disappearance. The few who had searched for the apprentice had about come to the conclusion that she had left the Temple that night. Obi-Wan felt differently. He didn't know why and didn't have a reason to back it up. He should have thought to look here sooner. As children he and Meri used to come play here, though it was restricted from initiates.

Turning a corner he came upon a blackened hallway. The lights in this section had been off for some time, but before searching the deserted corner of the Temple, Obi-Wan had requested they be turned on. He found it odd that this lone corridor was dark, but just figured maintenance hadn't been keeping up.

Entering the first door on his right he began again to search the empty rooms. It wasn't until he was halfway down the corridor, five rooms later, that he sensed her.

Relief flooded through him and he moved slowly into the dim room. He didn't think he'd ever seen more barren or depressing rooms. They were dust laden and devoid of furniture. The lights were usually kept off, but the plumbing was left as it was. He didn't know what state he'd find his friend in, but he hoped she had at least been drinking water.

He paused when he finally saw her, sitting on the floor unmoving. "Meri?"

She jerked at the sound of his voice, but did not turn around to face him. His was the first voice she had heard aloud in what seemed like a long time. She felt him draw closer and then drop to a knee at her side.

"You certainly picked a gem of a place to hang out, Mer," he commented lightly as he removed a flask of water from his belt. Without any words he handed it to her and watched as she drank.

"We've all been worried about you."

"I had to get away and think," was all she said in explanation.

Obi-Wan settled himself onto floor in front of her so that he could look her in the eye. "Did you get it all sorted?"

"Yes," she replied faintly, raising her eyes so that her gaze just skimmed the top of his spiky hair.

Obi-Wan frowned at the expression on her face. He'd seen it before when her Master Caer had died. "Meri…you are going to speak with Alex, aren't you? After everything settles down?"

Except for the twitch of one eyebrow, her expression remained blank. "No. Why would I? What's to…speak about?"

Obi-Wan felt a clenching in his stomach at the broken look in her dark eyes. "You are in love with him for one thing…aren't you going to tell him that?"

"No." The answer came so fast on the heels of his words; he knew she hadn't even thought about it.

Meri clenched her eyes shut, trying to block out the searching look on her friends face. It may take others longer to realize, but she knew already. She would never forget it. Without his memories…robbed of the years that made Alex who he was, to her and as a master, he was a stranger now. A completely different man and one she no longer knew.

In her mind, it was set in stone. Alex Arieh, the man she had once known, was dead.

She felt a hand on her arm then. "Meri…why not?"

Opening her eyes she released a deep breath and gave him a shaky smile. "Obi-Wan…you don't understand. He…Master Arieh," she began formally. "He doesn't know me…and he doesn't want me…not anymore. I'm just a burden."

"Meri, no! That's not true."

"Yes, yes it is. I heard him say so himself…they thought I was asleep Obi-Wan. If I were to tell him now…what has transpired between us, he would disapprove…he would find it revolting and request another master for me. That is, if he isn't planning on doing that already," she hung her head trying to hide the tears in her eyes. She'd made so many mistakes over the past few years and she vowed she would never make them again.

Her first mistake, of course, had been allowing herself to fall in love. Jedi weren't supposed to love. That could only be because of the attachments formed, which caused such heartache. She'd concluded that she had made that mistake with her first master as well. Not only should Jedi not love, it naturally followed that she never should have formed such a strong bond with her first master and made a dire mistake in doing so with Alex.

Rani had been distraught over hearing about their love and it had been nothing but a sore in Alex's side. He was always struggling to do the right thing, to uphold his Jedi ideals and obey the Jedi Council, all the while totally in love and fighting its hold on him. Just the past few weeks she had felt this struggle rising to its zenith. Bonded as strongly as they were and in love so deeply, it didn't come as a surprise that she'd felt his resistance.

When the whole thing had started between she and Alex, he had made a decision in order to stay her master; that until she was knighted, he wasn't supposed to touch her intimately. They'd come close several times, especially in the last few weeks. She'd felt his growing struggle through the bond and his attempts at holding himself in check were crumbling. For a split second during the heated embrace at Solstice, she had thought he wasn't going to stop and she wouldn't have cared one bit. She would have given herself to him the moment he asked and they both knew it.

Maybe this was the Force's way of showing her its path for her. What better way to solve all these problems?She thought bitterly. It was her punishment. Everything had been solved. Rani wouldn't have to worry anymore, because of his mind wipe now, Alex wouldn't remember finding out she'd always been secretly in love with him. That whole messy problem was solved. And she'd definitely learned her lesson about bonding. That problem too was solved. He was no longer in love with her. How can you be in love with someone you don't remember? How can you desire them or their presence?

Yes the Force had known what it was doing. This was the will of the Force. Meri had been properly chastised and she wasn't going to make these mistakes again. Ever. She was a Jedi…and that was her path. In dreams she would remember what they had once shared, for only in dreams would that love survive.

Yes everything made perfect sense now she'd had time to think about it. Right now it was hard to grasp, but this was all for the best. She would just have to accept that.