Authors Note: This is written by Derisa. Thanks for reading! Only Two chapters left I think.

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The pale form on the gurney bore only the slightest resemblance to the Master she'd grown up with, and Rani felt a sudden surge of anguish. The cool hand of the Mind-Healer on her shoulder helped her focus, and release that violent emotion to the Force, cleansing her of the indecision and pain it caused her.

An Paj finished his examination of the comatose Jedi, and then carefully reviewed the data they had from the rescuers. "He has been in a hibernation kind of trance, but he is yet beyond our reach. There is little we can do for him." He looked to Rani, his antenna swirling through the air above his forehead, and she bit her lip before replying.

"I can see that, Master An Paj," Rani said quietly. "It is a question of time?"

An Paj lowered his gaze to the stricken Master before him. "Rani, no amount of time will save your Master. His essence has fled. He is tied to his body by only the thinnest of threads, and it is not enough to keep him here."

Rani stood taller as she eyed the Healer. "You mean I'm to lose him, even now? After all that we've been through? An Paj, he's *here*! Is there nothing you can do? Or is it *will* do? Why won't you even try?"

The Padawan's accusations hit hard at the healer, and he shook his head sadly. "Rani, I cannot heal what does not wish to be healed. It has been too long. He has been kept to his body by a force outside of himself. The body will die the moment that force ceases." The Master Healer paused, but he had to make her understand there would be no happy homecoming for her Master. "Rani, the state of sympathetic trance we found you in, in your quarters after the Solstice... you must have been reaching out to him all this time. We can only assume that it is your action over these past several weeks, your unconscious support of his life-signs that has been keeping him alive."

Rani stood trembling at her Master's bedside, unable to answer. She looked down at his pale face, his eye-sockets so deeply sunken that she knew he would never look out at her again. Tears began to flow, silently, as she realised what she had done. "I did this?" she asked, her voice breaking. "I tied him to a body that can't live?"

The Mind Healer spoke for the first time. "Rani, you have kept him alive, over great distance, and in a way that is only ever spoken of as legend. Your Master wanted you to reach him, or he'd not have tied himself to you so."

"But... But that means I have to untie him. Doesn't it? I have to sever the bond!"

The two healers exchanged heavy glances, and then An Paj nodded. "It is up to you Rani. You will have release him."

Rani shook her head, and dashed at her tears with her hand. "I cannot!" She bent over the frail body of her master and a cry wrenched out of her, colored by the depth of her grief and anguish: "I cannot do it! I just got him back. There has to be some hope..." her words dissolved into tears. An Paj would have reached for her, but the Mind Healer shook her head, and ushered him from the room. With a gesture, she threw up some powerful shields around the small cubicle, to prevent the others resident in the Infirmary from being disturbed by Rani's powerful flood of feelings.

"Leave her be, An Paj. She will come around on her own," Reis-An reassured the healer. He looked at her, his doubt shimmering through the Force between them.

"You don't know Rani Veko as well as I do," he replied. "She is-" he was cut off by the arrival of a straight-backed blonde Knight, whose robes swirled about her like mist. She bore a look of sharp determination on her eagle-eyed face, and moved past the pair of them to enter Master Kern's room without a word.

"Who was that?" Reis-An asked with a rare show of surprise. The young woman had not spoken a single word, yet she'd known exactly where she wanted to be, radiating only purpose and determination.

"T'Lor Kaden, newly Knighted, and in the thick of this to-do with the Darksider," An Paj answered with a gesture to the door.

"She's the one? She's the knight who was with Master Arieh?" An Paj nodded, and Reis-An moved back towards the door. "She's the only one of them with whom I have not spoken. Excuse me, please?" She made as though to re-enter the stricken master's cubicle, but An Paj stopped her with a word.

"Wait, Reis-An. T'Lor and Rani... they are the best of friends, sisters of the soul, if you will. I think it would be better to let them have a few moments alone with Master Kern."

Reis-An searched his face, and then the petite healer smiled to him, and seated herself outside the cubicle, to await the two young women.

**

Rani waited outside the door of the newest Council member, hoping she would be alone for the interview. She needed to consult with the Council member over the order and timing of her Trials, and she couldn't stomach the idea of being overheard by anyone. Fortunately, the Knight appeared to be alone in her suite when she motioned the apprehensive Padawan in.

"I've just put on a pot for chai, shall I put out an extra cup for you?" asked her hostess. Rani considered for a second before answering in the affirmative. At least it would give her something to look at other than the earnest dark eyes of the beautiful Knight. Adi Gallia was not wearing her usual Tholoth headdress, and her long braids hung down past the belt of her tunic.

Rani looked around the Knight's quarters with a casual interest. Adi Gallia favoured tribal sculpture for her decorating, balanced with superbly executed holoscapes. Rani was examining one showing purple sand dunes shifting slowly under the light of a pair of soft blue moons, when her hostess rejoined her and beckoned her over to the tall counter.

When they had both taken their seats, Rani added her usual sweetener to the chai, and then wrapped her hands around the handleless cup, absorbing the deep warmth of the earthenware. Adi Gallia spoke first: "How are you?"

Rani drew a deep breath, the steam from her chai flavoring it with spices. "I am well enough, I suppose. I mean, my Master's back, sort of, and I have to face my Trials in order to free him. I'm not physically fit, but somehow, in everything that's happened, I've found some kind of equilibrium." She looked up to make certain the Councilor understood what she was trying to say. "I mean, I seem to be at a fulcrum of decisions, don't I?"

The Knight nodded. "It sometimes happens that way, Rani," she said quietly. "What guidance are you getting from the Force? Where are you feeling drawn?"

Rani gave a sardonic smile at that question. "For the first time in a long time, the guidance of the Force is pretty clear to me," she said, and could feel the calm that flowed from that confirmation. "I should take my Trials as soon as possible, and do what I must for my Master, and then... well, it's not something I'd considered before, but I intend to take the mind-Healer up on her offer, and go to Sanctuary to receive additional training."

Adi Gallia's eyebrows rose and she cocked her head to the side. "I was under the impression that you most heartily disliked Healers, Rani..." she began, then let her voice trail off, in hopes that the Padawan might fill her in.

"I... don't. Not really. Before all this happened, I was angry with Master An Paj, and I blamed him for a lot of the problems I'd been having, but... The truth of the matter is I have some abilities that I need to learn to use, and I can't learn that here. I am *not* a Healer, I *will* be a Knight, but it took meeting Padawan Ui'Niall to realize that the two weren't mutually exclusive."

Adi Gallia nodded, and then picked up her cup and sipped delicately. Rani followed suit. "The Council has determined that you *are* ready to face your Trials. Physically, you are not as fit as we'd like, but all the other requirements have been met. Are you certain you wouldn't prefer to wait a few weeks to fully recover your strength?"

Rani shook her head quickly. "No. The sooner the better, for my Master's sake."

"Alright. Well, in that case, we'll be testing you with two others. It is not unusual to test several candidates at the same time, but there are two peculiar cases involved here. K'vel Kaelson, you know, I'm sure, is in the final stages of his preparations for examination. His Master determined his readiness last week, and he will be your partner in some of the tests. In others..." she paused and drew a calming breath, " Alex Arieh will be tested alongside you."

Rani's eyes flew open wide at the mention of Alex's name. "But... he is a Master!" she exclaimed in surprise.

The older woman nodded. "Yes, but he doesn't recall that. He still thinks of himself as an older padawan. It is symbolic, really, more than anything, but serving two purposes at the same time. The first is that it may remind him of his real Trials and Knighting, giving the Healers a lever into his locked memories. The other is that if he is to return to functioning as a Jedi Knight, he needs to *know* that he deserves to be one."

Rani absorbed this information, her own thoughts about the subject of conversation rapidly swirling around in her mind. Alex Arieh, re-testing for his Knighthood, with *her*... she had no idea what to say, what to tell the Councilor who sat before her. There was no way she could let any aspect of the many secrets between her, Alex, and Alex's padawan Meri slip free, to fall under the scrutiny of those who would test for the Trials. She veiled her thoughts carefully in protective shields.

The knight, relaxed and open here in the safety and privacy of her own quarters, felt the subtle shift in the balance of the Force between them, and she narrowed her gaze, eyeing the padawan carefully. "Rani? Is there something wrong with the Council's plans?"

"No," Rani said quickly, "No, not at all." She steeled herself with the knowledge that her Master needed her to complete her Trials as soon as possible, and it could be months before she might be able to test if she did not take this opportunity now.

"All right," Adi Gallia said, "Then you may sit vigil tomorrow night, and the testing will begin at dawn the day after."

**

The cliff-face loomed over the candidates' heads, the crest obscured by the heat of the red sun at their backs. Rani's breath caught in her throat, even as K'vel began uncoiling the rope to attach the grapple hooks. They *would* have to choose climbing for the physical test, wouldn't they? she thought with a mixture of bitterness and trepidation. She stared up at the edge of the plateau, and their mission objective which lay somewhere far beyond. The Council knows our weaknesses too well.

"It's at least a hundred and twenty meters up," Alex informed them as he joined them at the foot of the cliff, tucking his macrobinoculars back into his pouch. He gave Rani a reassuring grin, and she felt her heart give a lurch at the handsome face smiling at her so trustingly. At least it wasn't as powerful a lurch as she'd felt in the past: perhaps the intensive changes of these past few days had changed something within her.

She raised her eyebrow in silent reply, and Alex's smile broadened even as he dropped his gaze. Rani shook her head in bemusement at the one thing she was certain hadn't changed in Alex since his mind-wipe of most of the last five years: his complete obliviousness to her feelings. "Have we enough rope to get that high?"

"Yes, Ma-...Alex," K'vel corrected and glanced across at Rani, who gave him a teasing wink. The two padawans had both taken classes from the young Master, but K'vel had not spent much time with Alex when he was a junior padawan, so he found the change in him very hard to compass. Rani had known Alex since their time in the Creche, so she was adjusting to the odd circumstances somewhat better. "We'll do it in stages," K'vel outlined, "I'll take point, Rani will follow, and you'll take the other grapple and come up last?"

Alex nodded his agreement to the plan, and K'vel began helping Rani tie herself into a harness made from a smaller length of rope, and the sliding knot which would keep her attached to the safety line should she fall. Even though they were in a holo-sim chamber, she knew the safeties were switched off, and had to be in order for this to be a real Trial. If she fell again, especially from near the top, she could be far worse than temporarily paralyzed this time.

This part of their Trials had been placed on the final day in order to give Rani and Alex the most time to recover their physical condition. In the previous two days the candidates had been tested individually on their mental acuity, diplomatic skills, Force manipulation and augmentation, and a variety of other skills and techniques. Keeping her focus on the testing had not been as hard as Rani had thought: it seemed her recent tribulations had gone a long way towards maintaining the disciplined approach she had needed to get through these examinations.

Rani set her hands to the warm rock face and began her climb, waiting to see that K'vel had made the first cast. His grapple anchored, the cinnamon haired padawan gave the signal for the three of them to begin their climb.

The physical exertion of the climbing required Rani's complete concentration on the task at hand. Her body ached and strained to pull her weight up the cliff-face, and she kept her focus tightly on the here and now as they climbed. At one point, twenty meters above the floor, her hand slipped from a hold, and she had to squelch the sudden temptation to reach out for the warm solidity of her bond with T'Lor. With an indrawn breath and renewed mental resolve, Rani drew on the Force for strength and regained her hold. If that's the worst of it, I'll pass my test of fear without a problem, she thought wryly.

Rani could hear the calm and focused breathing of K'vel above her, and the more labored effort of Alex across the cliff-face from her, and her own rhythm neatly fit between them, as, with each exhalation, they climbed together.

Pausing on a ledge, Rani looked up and noted that K'vel was within fifteen meters of the top. She was about to reach for another hold, when the rope connecting the candidates was jerked tight, and Rani caught her breath and braced herself against the sudden change in weight distribution. Alex's grapple had slipped and he was dangling at the end of the line, cradling his arm to his side. His grapple clanged as it bounced down the rock-face before being stopped short on its tether.

"K'vel, hold on!" Rani called urgently, "Alex is hurt!" She glanced back down at Alex, who was struggling to grip the cliff with one hand. She recalled the energy-pike wound Alex had suffered, a great gaping hole seared into his back. Before K'Vel could have issued the order, Rani slipped down the line towards the injured Knight. She helped Alex to a precarious perch on a ledge on the cliff side, and probed gently at his wound. Her fingers came away bloody, and Alex's face was a white mask of pain.

"K'Vel, can you carry take Alex's full weight?" Rani called up to the leader, "He's reopened his wound. He can't climb the cliff like this."

"I'm near enough to the top, Rani," K'vel confirmed. Slipping free of her own makeshift harness, Rani set about retying Alex into a passive harness, for K'vel to bear him up the cliff.

"I'm sorry, Rani," Alex said quietly as she worked around him, and then he offered to stay behind to let Rani and K'vel reach the objective without him.

"It's alright, Alex. We have a better chance of reaching the objective together, so we stick together, alright?" He answered her with a tight nod as she secured the last knot, tugged on the line to let K'vel know he was secure, and then gave him a boost up the cliff face.

She followed close behind, throwing the grapple and allowing herself little slack as she worked to stay with Alex, but even weighted as he was, K'vel was an efficient climber, and soon, there was tension on the line between her and Alex, and K'Vel was having to pause for precious seconds in his labors.

After the third call down to ask her to drive herself a little harder, Rani shook her head. Her breathing was coming fast already, and she knew she could make the climb, just not under the pressure of staying with Alex. "Alex, cut the line," Rani ordered him, "I'm slowing K'vel down and he can't be expected to bear your weight for any longer than he must. I can make it," she interrupted his half-voiced protest, "I just have to go slow and do it right."

K'vel was too pressed holding to his own grapple to offer arguments, and soon Rani felt a slackness in the line above her. She balanced herself against her grapple, catching the line as it fell, and looping it to be tied to her belt.

The sun beat down unmercifully on her cloaked back, and Rani sucked in a breath salted with her own sweat, pausing to wipe her hands again on her trousers to absorb the excess moisture. She was alone on the burning rocks, and she must climb. I hate being alone. She swallowed her fear, a great dry lump in her throat, and pushed on.

Some stretch of time later, Rani heard a shout from above. Her grapple in her hand ready for her next throw, she peered upward against the glare of that sere hologramatic sky, squinting to see what was happening at the cliff top. She caught the barest glimpse of a flare of Alex's robe at the top, some twenty meters over her head. But as she leaned back ever so slightly, her heel came down on a rounded pebble, slipped, and all of a sudden, she was falling.

Her eyes wide open with the shock of her mistake; Rani knew a blinding, paralyzing moment of sheer, unutterable terror. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think, she couldn't even close her eyes to brace for the inevitable impact. All she knew for that one harrowing instant was that she was utterly alone: no one could help her now.

"Rani!!!" The shout echoed off the cliff-face and woke the Padawan's dazed consciousness. Her eyes that had been frozen wide in panic blinked, and she sucked in a breath to scream back a desperate plea for help.

Even as the cry left her throat, Rani gritted her teeth against it, strangling it. There was nothing they could do: she had to do this herself. She spun her body and snaked the grapple out towards the cliff, letting the rope burn through her fingers. With an exercise of will unlike anything she'd ever tried before, Rani drove the metal hook into the crevasse she knew was there, catching at the crumbling rock and holding... firm!

With a twist of her wrist, Rani wrapped the rope around her arm and her whole body snapped like a whip as the grapple caught her weight. There was a sickening lurch as the grapple slipped, but with a singular exercise of will, she forced it to hold steady. She was slammed hard against the cliff face, but kept her grip on the rope and her wits. She turned her body and caught the next impact properly, her shoulders and elbows absorbing the energy. With desperate hands, she scrabbled for and found a hold on the rocks.

She could hear the calls of the two men at the top, as though across a vast distance, and she sent a pulse of reassurance up through the Force, the psionic communication coming easier to her than any verbal form in her current state. She felt their relief roll back down to her, flowing like cool water down the hot stone of the cliff. She was touched by it, but caught up in an eddying whirl of growing realizations. Looking up, she could hardly believe how short a distance she had fallen, and yet what a vast depth of fear had she plumbed in that time.

Once she'd caught her breath, Rani began the hard work of climbing again, reach after inexorable reach, always upwards against the might of gravity. Her body working harder than it ever had in her life, Rani found herself in a curious state of mental clarity. She breathed evenly, and let her mind examine recent events, tracing back many of her actions and decisions to that one basic and hidden motivation: fear.

She had been terrified of falling, and unaware of this fear that had lodged itself within her. Now, she had beaten back that cursed independence that could have cost her her life, and laid the ghost of that first disastrous fall to rest. But there was more.

She hated asking for help: a powerful urge to prove herself worthy had long been a factor in her actions, and the root of that was the fear that if she needed help, others would find her needy and... leave her alone. *Alone*.

Her dark, unspoken terror of being alone had spoken, had indeed paralyzed her with direst dread at the most critical moment. She realized she had always been afraid of being alone, since T'Lor had left her in the creche when she had been made Gi'den's Padawan, and Rani had remained behind, unchosen... It had been a powerful director of her actions since her Master's disappearance, and she tasted the bitterness of defeat that it had so controlled her, goading her into irrational anger against everyone, from An Paj to Alex. The fear was always at the back of her mind, held prisoner, buried, but there, and a factor in her decisions, she was sure of it.

Rani made it up the last few meters of the cliff-face with the one clear thought that put a sorrowful smile on her face. Even if she were to pass every aspect of her Trials, she would yet be unworthy of Knighthood, by reason of that fear she had let control her.