Authors Note: This is written by Derisa,and I. Thanks for reading and the patience in between updates.

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Standing at the top of the precipice, Alex Arieh felt a brisk rush of elation that quickly turned into trepidation. He had always loved heights, but this wasn't a pinnacle overlooking some spectacular vista. It was a sheer, dangerous cliff that plunged down a high precipice into a chasm of unknowable depth.

It felt like nothing so much as a trap.

Looking over the cliff with him, Rani drew his attention to a small projection. "There's a ledge down there, Alex," she told him, "Easily in reach of the ropes." Alex retrieved the map from her belt pouch and consulted it.

"Yes, it's marked here," he replied, "And there's a tunnel leading off it. We have to go down there." Rani gave him a calm smile, and he responded in kind as she began to uncoil the rope from her belt. Since she had told him as they walked across the plateau of her injurious fall, that had left her paralyzed and suffering a long slow recovery, he'd been appalled that she had suffered so much. Now facing another steep climbing challenge, he watched her for any signs that she was uncomfortable, but she seemed cool and competent as she unreeled their line and tied the pulley rig for them to rappel down the cliff.

Alex rolled his shoulder, controlling the urge to wince in pain. Rani gave him a sharp glance, and Alex responded with a wry grimace. There's no keeping secrets from her, is there? he found himself wondering when she had learned to use her natural empathy so well. The Rani he knew... is five years older now, Alex, he reminded himself firmly, She's sure to have picked up a few tricks in that time. But this was his physical Trial too, and it would be counter-productive to allow the two younger Jedi to do all the work. He tested his shoulder again, but it felt strong enough for the rappelling.

It was the work of a few short minutes to anchor the pulley rig to the top of the cliff overlooking the ledge and tunnel entrance, and then Alex led the way down the rockface to the tunnel, with Rani following shortly thereafter. They left their rope in case they needed it to get back to the top of the bluff for their pick-up and the end of the Trial. As the two proceeded down the tunnel, Alex felt again that sense that they were heading into danger, and he gestured for Rani to stay back a bit while he scouted up ahead.

The air was close and hard to breathe, and a gaseous fog clung to the floor of the tunnel, swirling sluggishly as they moved forward into the dimness. Alex consciously slowed his breathing and inhaled more deeply. He didn't remember these careful controls coming so easily before, but they were. Perhaps that was another mark of the time that had passed.

Ahead in the gloom, around a long arc of the tunnel, he could make out a bright beam of light, coming down through the mass of the mountain overhead, to illuminate a small circular area of the passageway. The light gave the fog that crept along the floor of the tunnel a greenish cast, and Alex squinted, niggled by an inaccessible memory. He shook his head to clear it, and frowned again at the bright spot in the distance. That's where it will come, he realized, When we're half-blinded by the glare. With a mental flash, he showed Rani what lay ahead, and continued on without waiting for her.

This time it was an effort of will to slow his biorhythms to better utilize the dearth of oxygen. A faint aftertaste from the stale air tickled again at his memory, but when he tried to follow it back to its origin, it stopped dead at that blank wall that blocked off a part of him. All his probing had failed to find any gap in it, and he bit back his frustration. It was clear his senses were trying to remind him of something from those memories that had been ripped away.

Focusing back on his task, he made a mental note to tell the mind-Healer of this phenomenon, as it seemed to corroborate her explanation of the two kinds of memory. The years that had been stolen from him had been conscious 'made' memories, but he still retained the physical evidence of those years, and that included an unconscious memory. He'd lived those lost years, and in the living had experiences his mind might not recall, but his body certainly did. This scent trigger was likely an example of his physical memory at work.

He looked back as he neared that circle of light to see where Rani was. She had just rounded the curve of the tunnel, and stopped in her tracks when he gave the signal. He followed it up with a single mental word: Trap! He directed her to keep her eye on the light and then turned back to his original goal.

And she was there.

A tall shapely figure in flowing robes of blood, reaching for him with clawed hands, a feral smile revealing wicked points on her white teeth, and an oily presence roiling out from her like the low mist that clung to his legs. He'd never been so scared.

His sabre was in his hands and he went for the apparition, igniting the coherent light blade with a reverberating snap-hiss as he charged. He felt like he was moving through treacle, each instant perfectly separate from the next, time slowed to a crawl, heavy with inevitability. Another insistent tug snapped his mind to that blank wall in his head, and then through, and he remembered her.

Her hands were talons reaching for his throat, clutching for him, and he paused as his viewpoint changed. He was suddenly unsure if she reached for him in attack or in supplication. Then the fog rolled back from her and revealed was a slender form, fallen at her feet. Obviously female, and obviously young, she had a padawan braid tied in her dark hair and wore a Jedi tunic.

"Ssso succulent she isss, Jeh-diehhh..." came the sibilant hiss, straight out of his nightmares, "Such a sweet morsssel..."

When he stepped in to attack her the image of the padawan disappeared, and he heard a voice from behind him: "ALEX!!!" He looked back down the tunnel, and saw clearly a beautiful dark-haired girl running towards him with happiness on her face and love shining clear in her dark eyes. His resolve hardened and he turned back and swung his sabre with all his might, but with no fear or anger in his heart.

From within this clarity beyond any fear, he saw the superhot blade slice the phantasm in half with hardly an effort, and he dropped to one knee, a hungry sharpness cutting into his injured shoulder. As he collapsed, Alex saw Rani's face, her concern reverberating through her soft blue eyes.

Sliding down into the onrushing darkness, Alex was confused for a moment... her eyes were the wrong color... the girl who had run towards him had had dark eyes...

**

Rani lowered Alex slowly to the floor, and scanned him through the Force to see if he was injured. He'd obviously seen something and had fought it furiously, but he hadn't re-injured the shoulder, at least. However, his mind was muzzy, as though he were drugged, and she felt a powerful pang at the last image in his mind: Meri's pale face looking at him with such love- She slammed a door on that thought. None of my affair, she reminded herself harshly, Literally.

Kneeling beside the stricken Knight, she finished her probe. Alex was suffering the effects of some inhaled compound, she realized, even as the greasy mist that fogged the floor of the tunnel began to clear. I wonder what they used, she thought to herself, eyeing the suspicious wisps as they dissipated. As if in answer there was a chuff of fans and the air cleared more quickly.

Rani looked up to see K'vel approaching, carrying the chest that had been their objective for the physical Trial. With a sudden rush of relief, she realized they had finished the physical portion of their Trials. The sensory hologram faded before her eyes and she had to draw a calming breath and relax as the change in her perceptions revealed the simulations chamber, and the approach of the Councilors who were overseeing this last phase.

Adi Gallia led them at a half-jog, heading straight for the prone form of Alex Arieh, but he was already groggily pulling himself up into a sitting position. "Are you alright?" the Council member asked before Rani got the chance.

Alex nodded slowly, and probed with curious fingers for his hurt shoulder, seeming surprised by the lack of any serious wound. "It hurt," he said quietly. He leaned on Rani's proffered arm to rise, but it was more of a friendly gesture than a needed aid. "I'll be alright," he reassured her, with a gentle smile that threatened to break her heart all over again. She clamped down a powerful shield on the pain, and then burnt it to ash in the furnace of the Force.

The Council awaited their attention. "Retire to the meditations chambers assigned you, you will," Yoda creaked, and the three candidates bowed before taking their leave. A careful assessing of their actions in this Trial would follow, and Rani was rather looking forward to the debrief, as she had come to some clear conclusions about this exercise.

As she made her way to her assigned chamber, she considered her theory. The more she thought about it, the more sense it made. Of course if she was wrong, they would still have to face their individual tests of fear.

**

Rani remained kneeling in her meditation posture when the door hissed open to admit her examiner, but her mind was sharp and focused, turning over the events of the Trial with a careful eye for details. Depa Billaba accepted her bow of respect with a grave nod, and then joined her on the mat, kneeling to face the older Padawan.

"Your impressions, Rani? How do you think you did in the physical Trial?"

Rani gave a sly smile. "I don't know, I haven't faced it yet." She looked up and met the Councilor's raised eyebrows with a direct look. "Have I?"

"Of course you have," Depa replied, but Rani shook her head. At length the Councilor inclined her head and added, "There was more to it, of course."

"That was an emotional Trial," Rani said succinctly. She made certain to keep her voice free of accusation or anger at the deception.

"You have it exactly right, Rani," the dark-faced Councilor conceded easily, but with some surprise in her voice, at the astuteness of the Padawan. "The test was less physical than it was emotional. It was designed to place each of you in a separate circumstance where you would have some deep insight into your own greatest fears."

"How does one pass these tests, then?" Rani asked Depa pointedly. "We judge ourselves?"

Depa smiled gently. "Can you think of a more fair way? No one knows you as well or as deeply as you do, Rani. Did you face your fears?"

Rani's eyes narrowed in a characteristic expression of suspicion, but after she thought through the Councilor's question, her brow cleared and she nodded. "I did. They surprised me."

"They always do. You see, all we can do is put you in the way of your fears, and allow you to meet them in an unguarded moment, so that you truly *face* them." Her glance gave this all the significance Rani sensed about the events of the candidates physical trial. "For humans, the test usually involves falling: it's the most basic fear reflex we as primates have evolved. There's a reason we say that someone has 'fallen' to the Dark Side."

"What's to prevent someone from claiming he did even if he didn't overcome his fears?" Rani asked.

Depa answered her with another smile, this one less enigmatic. "The hallucinogenic gas mix contains Verisol as well, perhaps you've heard of it?"

Rani recalled finding something familiar about the scent of the gasses that clung to the tunnel floor. Verisol was a relatively long-lasting truth drug, sometimes used as a muscle relaxant in the infirmary. She could recall hearing some interesting stories when she was on her probation, told by people under the influence of the gas. After a nod of agreement, she returned to the issue at hand. "So I passed. What about the others?"

"K'vel Kaelson took the chute separator, and encountered his fears in the tunnel on the way to the objective. From our monitoring of his vital signs and our visuals, there is no doubt he faced his fears there," Depa explained.

"He passes too?" Rani asked, and Deepa gave a nod of confirmation. Rani sought to meet the Councilor's eyes, her blue-grey gaze sharp and hard as durasteel. "What about Alex? Was it really necessary to put him through that?"

Depa cocked her head to the side, looking away from Rani. "He needed to know he could face his fears, as a Jedi must, before he would consider himself a knight again. We did not know the shape those fears would take, in light of the recent horrors he has suffered, but he responded very well, and there is no hesitation on the part of the Council to pass him in this last Trial."

Rani exhaled audibly, and then leaned back on her heels. "Then we will be Knighted tonight?" her voice was almost a whisper, but the relief in it was immeasurable.

"The Council will call you before them this afternoon to present the findings of the examinations. If you have passed all aspects of your Trials to the satisfaction of the Council, you will be knighted." She could not contain her smile of pride, and Rani had to close her eyes to maintain her focus, as the idea that she might be this close to the goal threatened to flood her with an undue amount of emotion.

"Thank you, Councilor Billaba," she stated softly. "I will meditate until then."

**

In the hour after sunset, in the Lower Arena, Two new Knights will be accepted into the ranks of the Jedi Order. K'vel Kaelson, Padawan to Kirstan Orion, and Rani Veko, Padawan to Davin Kern, Will take their earned place as Knights of The Jedi. All Masters Knights and Padawans are invited to attend, and witness as well the re-dedication of Master Alex Arieh to his calling. **

"Hold the lift, please!" Alex called as he loped down the corridor, his robe flying out behind him. His boots slid on the low-pile carpet as he slowed enough not to careen into the Knight holding the lift door controls for him.

"Where are you heading?" a half-familiar voice asked him once he was inside, and Alex turned bright blue eyes to meet Perrian Thenceor's raised eyebrow. He dropped his gaze in a habitual bow to the slightly older Jedi. Perrian's Knighting was one of Alex's last clear memories, before the fall of that impenetrable white fog blocking out the last five or so years of his life. A hand crept up to his collar to smooth his Padawan braid, and he had a flash of sorrow by its unexpected absence.

"Up..." Alex replied, suddenly unsure where he should be going with the news of his imminent re-Knighting. "I guess. To my suite?"

Perrian gave him a long look as he keyed in the floor request. "Have you been back there yet? I mean since..."

Alex shook his head, stiff and silent. "I've been in the Infirmary, and then... testing." He looked down at his boots, unsure what to say next. "I passed," he informed the Knight before he could ask.

"Of course you did," Perrian seemed surprised that it was ever in doubt. "The Knighting is tonight?"

At Alex's nod and indrawn breath, Perrian's face expressed amusement. "Nervous, are you?" he asked.

Alex paused, as he shot the Knight an intense look. "Well, yes, quite frankly."

Perrian gave him a gentle grin. "You were last time, too."

"I was?" Alex asked, quite stunned by the revelation. But of course, there had to have been people in the Temple who had witnessed his Knighting, who had known him as a Knight and as a ... Master. Alex had to admit that as alien as that concept seemed to be, there was some internal recognition of 'Master Arieh' as a name he responded to.

"Yes, you were. I was too. I imagine it would be quite harrowing to go through the same thing again, or was it harder the first time?"

Alex shook his head. "If I could remember enough to compare, I wouldn't have needed to retake the Trials," he reminded the Knight with a wry grin. At Perrian's nod of understanding, he recalled that the Knight had known him during those years missing from his memory. He longed to know what was expected of him now: What about this Padawan, Meri Irhanah? Would he have to renew his oaths to her as well? Perhaps Perrian could help him find the answers.

Before he had the chance to ask, however, Perrian took advantage of the lengthy pause, and changed the subject. "Have you heard the announcement from the Council?"

Alex frowned and signaled that he had not. "I've been in testing since early this morning. What announcement?"

"The exchange program has been terminated," Perrian informed him. At Alex's look of incomprehension, he was given a quick review of the program and some of the consequences it had had. "I think it was the Mind-Healer's input and the Exemplars' testimony that swung the Council. The incident with the creature that cost you your memory was marginally related, but certainly weighed in as well, so the experiment has been called off. I'm on my way to speak with Qui-Gon Jinn about whether we can get some exceptions made for a few students who have found a place here."

"Why?" Alex asked, and Perrian cocked an eyebrow. Alex couldn't believe his own temerity, questioning a senior in the Order so bluntly.

He was about to apologize for his forthrightness, but Perrian forestalled him with a smile and a wave. "You are a Knight, Alex, whether you can recall it or not. You have every right to speak plainly." There was a thoughtful pause before he answered Alex's question, "Qui-Gon and I have shared the tutelage and hosting of one of the girls who was in the exchange programme. She hasn't really got anywhere to go if she leaves the Temple, and she has found a niche here. There are other non-Jedi like her who serve the Order, and I think it would be a great wrong to send her away.

"Then, there is another of the candidates comes from an abusive family, and her talents for research and learning would only be squandered if she were to return to that harsh environment. She has only just begun to trust again. Master Chian spoke to me about the young woman she had hosted, and I think a case may be made there as well."

He eyed Alex, and then continued. "We have a responsibility to these children, since we have taken them under the wing of our Order. They are good people, and I won't stand by to see the Council simply drop them when they become inconvenient," he finished.

"Ah. Thank you for updating me," Alex said quietly, his mind turning over that single word that stood out at him: Responsibility. "I had no idea any of this was going on."

Perrian gave a thoughtful nod, and sent a speculative look towards the younger man. "Your Padawan had made a few friends among the students, you know. You even hosted one of them for a while, one of the ones we're trying to get accepted. Does the name 'Vail D'ka' ring any bells?"

Alex frowned. "No, I'm afraid not. But I wish you luck in dealing with the Council. You seem... committed." He swallowed and then drew up his courage, feeling the cool uplifting power of the Force guiding his next words and actions. He pressed the next floor's panel on the lift, and Perrian eyed him with some surprise, as the lift door irised open to one of the meditation and teaching levels below the Knight's quarters. "Forgive me, Knight Thenceor, I'm hoping you can help me."

Perrian followed Alex to a nearby meditation room, and seated himself on the round, cushioned platform, while Alex paced the small room's confines, trying to find the right words. Finally he knelt on his own short pedestal and faced the older Knight, and drew in a careful breath. "What sort of a Knight will I be?" he asked, at last. "I mean, what was I like, before?"

The brown eyes of the Knight widened and then lowered to watch the floor as he composed his reply. Alex waited, releasing his impatience with a previously noted unfamiliar ease. When Perrian's eyes met his again, he stilled his trepidation and listened to the words, and the truths behind them. "Alex, you are a good knight. You are wise, and gentle, compassionate and caring. You have a deserved reputation for not just speaking the words of the Jedi ideals, but living them." He turned his head to consider the vibrant glow of the traffic roaring in Coruscant's nighttime skies. "And you have been a good Master to your padawan, after the tragedy that had befallen her first Master."

Alex nodded. An Paj had told him, very perfunctorily, why he had taken a padawan so soon after his own knighting, and given him access to the records that detailed the unusual circumstances. He had not yet had the courage to read up on the matter. At least the Mind-Healer had helped him realize he should listen to his own inner voices that counseled against him learning too much too soon. But the time was nearly upon him when he must make a serious decision regarding the young woman who was his particular responsibility. At last he had to face the thing that was making him more nervous than his own Knighting.

"It's just that I don't know if I am ready to be a Master," he tried to explain, "If there is some other way-" he stopped when he noted Perrian's critical eyebrow raised at him.

"Alex, you already are her Master. And she has suffered through so much of late, I hardly think it just of you to even consider any other option," Perrian stated, only his gentle tone keeping his words from cutting. There was a long pause, and Alex looked up to see if he had anything further to add. Perrian had obviously been waiting to catch his gaze again, and regarded him seriously across the small space between them, before making his final point. "Meri Irhanah needs her Master back, Alex. She needs you."

The Knight's words did not have the heavy effect on Alex he'd half expected, the weight of an unfair judgment, or an unwelcome burden, rather he felt lighter. Perrian had spoken with all the authority of the Force's guidance, and Alex could sense how much better it would be to move with that updraft rather than fight it, looking for an easier current. He drew in a full lungful of air and then exhaled, feeling more comfortable with the decision.

"Thank you, Perrian," he said sincerely as they rose and made their way back to the lift.

The other Knight smiled and gave a small shrug. As the lift door slid open again, this time at their shared destination level of the Knight's quarters, Alex requested the Knight's assistance for one further matter, freeing his minor embarrassment to the Force as he did so. With a quirk of his lips that was not quite a smile, Perrian complied, and escorted Alex to his door.

Having been shown the route to quarters he couldn't quite recall on his own, Alex thanked him again, bowing in gratitude. As Perrian Thenceor moved down the corridor to Master Jinn's rooms, Alex barely caught his response.

"Anytime, Master Arieh."

He didn't question the title until he entered his quarters, and caught sight of a slender female form poised as if to flee, standing on the other side of the door.