Divided Heart

Part 3: Relationships

By SJ and Rhea (skyjade@globetrotter.net and jediknight@mail2master.com)

05-04-03/

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Disclaimers: Nothing in the Star Wars Universe belong to us; everything

belongs to George Lucas. We're only writing stories for fun. See my homepage

for more details.

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/3702

Special thanks to Rhea for bringing up the plot bunny of that story and

accepting to work on it with me :) Working with you is a pleasure, my

friend!

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They had almost reached the main street when Mara stumbled on suddenly weak

legs. Luke, who had sensed her faltering, hastened his steps and caught her

just before she truly crumpled to her knees. Talon, who had been walking at

her side, whirled around in shock, then searched Luke's eyes, at first in

distrust, then gratitude.

"Are you all right?" Talon inquired, moving closer to help her up.

Aware that it was not his place to help his friend in such an intimate

fashion, Luke reluctantly backed away and allowed him to assist her.

"I'm fine," Mara nodded, then shrugged herself free of Karrde's arm once she

was on her feet.

"I think that we should let a medic make that determination to ascertain

this," the trader commented as he eyed her warily.

Luke quickly checked on her through the Force.

The young woman glared at both of them in turn. "I don't need to go to a

medcenter."

"Yeah, she's fine," Terren added casually as he walked past Luke to stand

close to Mara once again. "She's taken far worse before."

Although Luke knew that his friend had indeed sustained much more impairing

injuries in her past job, he still frowned in disagreement as he felt how the

other dismissed these experiences as inconsequential for Mara.

If not for his Jedi training, the farmboy in him would have jumped in to

defend his friend from such mean comments. Nothing excused her pain.

Even as she felt a sudden surge of anger from behind her, Mara shot the over-

confident Terren an annoyed gaze... then nodded in agreement when she

understood that he had only meant to state a fact. It was true, she conceded.

She 'had' once been much more wounded than she had been during this latest

altercation, and she had not faltered back then, she slightly rebuked

herself, her old pride taking it hard today.

She used to be able to knock this kind of scum flat on their ass without

breaking a sweat, she reminded herself. She even used to pull herself out of

jams without requiring the assistance of a single man.

Yet today, no less than three men had come to her rescue.

She was softening, she thought glumly to herself. Softening, and getting

old...

All of a sudden, she was no longer in the mood to meet with Terrrn at the

Grand Hotel, and she was not sure that she could stomach Karrde's overly

solicitous behavior either.

Aware that her best friend was also with her at the moment, she briefly

turned around and caught Luke's eyes; she gave him a pleading look that went

unnoticed by the two other men, who were currently engaged in a discussion

about her current weakness.

Luke acknowledged her with a slight inclination of his head, "I think that

what Mara needs is some space," he commented, cutting in the heating-up

conversation. "Talon," he said, turning his exquisite blue gaze toward her

suitor, "would you contact the authorities and tell them what happened here?

Terren," he continued, addressing her friend. "Can you inform Hotel security

about their need to post more guards in the lobby?"

"And what will you do, Jedi?" Terren asked, his eyes darkened by his open

hatred for the Jedi.

Mara frowned upon seeing that. She used to bear a similarly-clouded glare,

she reminded herself, but it had been wrong.

"I'm going to see her home," Luke stated so calmly that even Mara would not

consider arguing with him at the moment.

All of a sudden, The Force was a palpable presence around him, making him

more impressive, his full-power shone through him. Everyone understood that

they were currently dealing with the Jedi Master.

Terren opened his mouth to protest, but seemed to reconsider as he met Luke's

gaze once again. In the end, he remained silent.

"Thank you, Terren and Talon, for being there for me," she said in the

silence, then offered her arm to Luke. Silently, the two younger friends

resumed their walk toward the main street.

Beside Mara, Talon reluctantly nodded and left them; Terren, for his part,

remained behind and silently watched the two Jedi as they left the alleyway.

****

Skywalker and Jade walked away from the alley in silence. The Jedi continued

to try to read Mara, but her shields were tighter than ever. She appeared to

be lost in thought and only after they had walked to the nearest landing

platform and secured a private air taxi, did she finally meet his eyes.

"Thanks for the rescue," she said, her voice subdued.

Her demeanor worried Luke. "Are you alright?" he asked as they took their

seats in the open topped car.

"What?" she asked in a distracted voice, "Oh, those thugs." She snorted, "I

would have taken care of them eventually."

Luke keyed in the command for Mara's residence and leaned back in his seat,

in order to view her more closely. "You just seem off somehow."

She shrugged.

"Who is this Terren Macay?"

Mara's shields briefly dipped and Luke could sense the conflicting emotions

churning within her. "He's an old friend," she replied.

"He did seem very friendly," Luke commented wryly.

Mara's shot him a look and said heatedly, "What's it to you?"

"I don't think it's that unusual for a friend to ask another friend about

seing them engaged in a heated kiss."

Mara lowered her gaze and muttered, "I don't know if I'd call it heated."

"Whatever," Luke grunted and then turned his head away.

A short moment later, the air taxi settled onto the platform that was nearest

to Mara's residence. He refused to meet her gaze.

They disembarked and were well inside the corridors when she realized that

something. "I'm surprised that you are still on Coruscant," she admitted,

locking her emerald gaze with his blue one.

"I was scheduled to leave today," he nodded at her, "but after I checked on

the school, I didn't see any emergency to leave yet."

"Ah," she nodded, "and was there any reason for you to remain on Coruscant

for longer than necessary?" she inquired even as images of a rich, blond-

haired princess filled her mind.

As she had meant to do, her question unbalanced her cool-headed friend and he

blushed as boyishly as ever. "Hmmm, well," he fumbled, then darted a gaze

toward her upcoming corridor. "I know that I can't order you to visit a

medcenter for scratches," he said instead, completely avoiding her topic,

"but can you at least promise me that you will stay home for the rest of the

day?"

"And what would be in it for me, Jedi?" she asked him. As she gazed in his

earnest blue eyes, her defensive temper dissolved as quickly as it had risen

when he had changed their topic.

As if aware that she was suddenly, flirting with him, Luke studiously avoided

her gaze. "You've been through a shock," he reminded her sternly. "Remember

the last time that it happened? It took you hours to recover from it

completely."

When she had learnt about the truth between Vader and Skywalker, she thought,

then winced as she remembered how unbalanced she had been for almost ten

hours before she had been able to recover her composure. "That isn't the

same," she grumbled, annoyed that he would bring up such an unpleasant memory

when she was trying to make him see that there was more to her than a cold-

hearted friend...

And for what reason?, she asked herself as they rounded the last corner of

her corridor. She was not in love with Luke, was she? He tested her temper

too many times for that, and yet... she definitely was jealous of the

dignitary...

Her thoughts fell away as she saw who was waiting for them just outside of

her quarters.

"What are you doing here?" Luke inquired the moment that he identified Terren

Macay.

"The Hotel says thanks, but no thanks," he slurred at him in disgust, "so I

thought that I would check on Mara."

"She's fine," Luke answered even as he stepped slightly in front of his

friend, as if to defend her--- then jumped when Mara pinched him in the ribs

with the Force. He had overstepped his boundary with that defensive attitude.

He reluctantly stood there as she walked past him and closer to the man from

her past.

"I will need some rest, but otherwise, I'm okay, thanks to you," she said

warmly.

"I wish that I had known earlier that you were in trouble," the other replied

in kind, then stepped closer and delicately ran a finger down Mara's smooth

cheek. "I was worried about you."

Unable to watch the other's open attempts to court his Mara, Luke rolled his

eyes in a 'spare me' fashion. "You sure didn't seem worried about her well-

being 'after' it was over," he commented acidly.

Earning himself a most unpleasant glare from his friend. "Weren't you saying

that you had to check on your Jedi students?" she commented, implicitly

warning him to leave before it got any worse between the two of them.

*Are you sure?* he asked her, suddenly having a bad feeling about his leaving

her alone with that man.

Even though he only meant to be open with her about his worries, he only

managed to irate her. *Since when am I unable to take care of myself,

farmboy?* she asked him angrily, then turned her back to him and punched in

her key code.

"Right," he reluctantly nodded, "I'll check on you later then," he still told

her, then he turned heels and headed toward the turbolift once again.

As he waited for it to return to Mara's level, he dimly wondered from where

his thought about 'his' Mara had come from.

He couldn't be jealous of either Karrde or that new guy, could he? Nah, he

shook his head to himself, there was nothing more than friendship between him

and Mara, and yet...

He 'had' considered telling her that she would get 'him' for the day if she

would behave and stay in her quarters to rest.

His mind filled with suddenly puzzling questions about his relationship with

Mara Jade, he stepped inside the crowded lift and selected his own floor.

Back at Mara's place, the young woman tried hard to cover her confusion at

her friend's attitude from the man who had come in with her. What did Luke

feel for her?, she wondered as she took a moment to freshen herself. First,

he wasn't even picking up on her attempts to see if there was more between

them then mere friendship, and the next, he was acting so jealous that she

had to warn him off of Terren's back before they came to insults once again.

Jedi, she shook her head in annoyance, then stepped out of her 'fresher.

When she returned to the living room, her companion was attentively studying

what little mementos she had gathered in her quarters on Coruscant. "I see

that you are even closer to Skywalker than I had heard," he commented

disapprovingly, then turned around to face her. "He's got you completely

subjugated, hasn't he?"

Subjugated?, Mara frowned even as she planted her fists on her hips. "I will

tell you only one more time, Terren," she warned him dangerously. "Stay out

of my relationship with Luke Skywalker. He isn't the Emperor, nor my Jedi

Master or lover. We're just friends."

The other man might have replied to her, but he took her warning at face

value and remained silent. "Nice place you got here," he said next.

"Cut the crap, Terren," she growled, walking inside the living room before

she sat on her couch as she felt her legs weaken yet again. Luke was right,

her gentle self pointed out to her; it would take her a few hours to recover

from that new bout of shock. "Where were you all those years?" she inquired

out loud. "Why do you come back now instead of when you first heard about me

and the Jedi, which you have obviously heard about," she said meaningfully.

For a long moment, her former friend paced the other side of her living room

as if he were a caged animal, then finally sighed as if in reluctance. "I

couldn't come back. I was in an Imperial enclave."

"And why did everyone pretend that you were dead?" she asked him mercilessly.

If he had been in an imperial enclave, then why had he been hidden---

"Because I was," he sighed glumly. "The Emperor needed me to die, I was too

well known... yet he knew that I could be an asset for him if I were to

disappear. What I didn't know was that he would send me on a world where no

one left... until recently."

"What did you do there?" she asked him next, trying to put his puzzle back

into place.

The handsome, brown-haired, brown-eyes man came closer and sat at the

opposite end of the couch. "I was keeping the governing bodies faithful to

the Emperor. Since I was not alive in any records, they could not track me

down; I was his ace up his sleeve, keeping his training facilities at peak

efficiency."

'His ace up his sleeve,' Mara thought, remembering how she too had used that

expression to describe her role for the Emperor.

So long ago, she reflected, filled with a bitter-sweet feeling. It was almost

as if it had been another life... another Mara... Back then, her days had

been filled with activities that were so very different. She had been content

at that time, yet had nurtured a dream. Now, though, her dream was fulfilled,

so she had nothing left to hope for... and her dream had not turned out to be

what she had thought it would be.

Trading was much more bureaucratic than she had ever imagined. Nowadays, she

was buried under tons of datacards and reports that she 'had' to read in

order to secure the best deals or acquire prized contracts. Such a far cry

from the exciting, vivifying experience of fighting for a cause, for...

For a master.

"I miss it too," Terren commented, as if reading her thoughts. "Sometimes, I

consider registering in a military unit, or even intelligence, but with my

Imperial background, I know that they would not trust me."

Trust, she paused once again. Did the Republic trust her?.. Well, maybe not,

she thought seriously, but at least Luke did.

"I've come here to offer you a deal," he informed her, cutting in her

thoughts. He had inconspicuously edged closer to her while she had been

thinking.

"What deal?" she inquired reflexively---- then could only stare at him in

shock when he lunged forward and plastered his familiar lips on her own

before he laid her down on her back against the arm-rest.

"Come with me, give us another chance" he offered her, then resumed their

kiss.

As if unleashed by her memories of her past with Terren, her other good

memories of her life as Emperor's Hand surged forth and filled her with an

aching that only Terren's kiss and comprehension seemed to soothe.

Thus, despite her feelings for Luke Skywalker, and despite what she had begun

to explore with Talon Karrde, she abandoned herself to the plans that Terren

was now sharing with her.

Plans of adventure and danger, like in the old days.

******

Back at his place, Luke sat on his balcony... and considered what had just

happened between him and his best friend.

He was naturally aware that he had upset Mara with his protective attitude.

He had wanted to protect her from that worrying newcomer, but she was his

friend.

He could not stop himself from protect his friends, and especially not her,

he admitted to himself. Ever since they had crossed path, she had held a

special place in his heart, had almost instantly rivaled with his sister's

place even when the red-head had still been talking about wanting to kill

him. He himself had always known that she would never kill him, but even more

important, he had somehow always known that they would be best friends...

Mara could understand him better than anybody else, and she accepted him as

he was, farmboy 'and' Jedi. In return, he was there for her when almost

everyone was still distrusting her, and he could appreciate 'all' the aspects

of her personality.

Sadly though, he was aware that she thought that he had taken everything from

her, forcing her to accept a new, also happy, but different life.

A life that she had not chosen.

And now she was with Terren Macay.

What was he himself doing here?, he finally asked himself glumly. Why wasn't

he on his way to his x-wing, and back to his Jedi 'praxeum' where his heart

would stop playing tricks on him for a woman that would never have any

interest in him?

Because he couldn't leave and abandon her in the arms of another, and

especially in those of that unsettling ex-Imperial. Seeing her in the arms of

Talon Karrde had been a shock for him, but he had accepted the situation,

knowing that his friend Talon was a good man and would be a good match for

the younger woman, although he could be her father. However, the situation

was totally different with that ex-imperial guy.

Mara had once loved Terren, and yet, he could feel that this man did not have

her best interests in mind. Kind of like how he had felt when Lando had been

dating 'his' Mara. This time though, the relationship was tainted by a darker

edge to the Force.

Unless the edge was only his jealousy that those men could kiss his dear

friend when he himself could barely share a room with her without raising her

hackles after five minutes.

Who was he kid----

His sister's presence suddenly entered his awareness. Relieved that the

torment of his thoughts had come to an end, he rushed as fast as could toward

his main door and opened it before she signaled her presence. "Leia!" he

smiled, then hugged her tightly to himself. "It's so good to see you," he

whispered in her hair.

"It's good to see you too, in a more informal setting," she returned,

surprised by his warm welcome yet riding it without an hitch. "I was worried

that you were still sore at me for yesterday. I was hoping that I could catch

you before you leave again."

"I'm not leaving yet," he answered, pulling away from her. He silently

invited her to come inside.

"You aren't?" she raised an eyebrow, perplexed, then smiled even more, "then

can you join us for that family dinner we talked about?" she offered him

seriously.

"I'll even cook for you if you want," he nodded in agreement. "Where are you

off to?"

"Home," she smiled at him. "Wanna join me?"

******

Later that evening, after spending delightful hours of comradeship with the

whole Solo household, the three adults were finally left alone.

Ever since 'Uncle Luke's arrival, they had been swapping news and gossips

with adults and children alike as they had first prepared their evening meal,

then had shared it. The mood had been very convivial so far.

However, with dinner over, bedtime had come around for the children. They

were thoroughly exhausted by their uncle's impromptu visit, yet they were

also so excited by it that they tried to sneak out again.

"No, young lady," Han rebuked their daughter, "It's late and you have school

tomorrow." He stood up and herded both twins back to their bed. "Now off to

bed with you two, and sleep, that's an order."

"Can you read us a story?" Jacen inquired while he tiredly rubbed his left

eye with his fist.

Beside him, Jaina gave a mighty yawn.

"Alright, but just one," Han said as he escorted them from the room.

"Don't worry," Leia mischievously whispered to her brother, "they'll be

asleep in five minutes, if Han can keep them in bed long enough."

"They sure look about ready to fall asleep on their feet," he half-whispered

in answer, then smiled at his sister, "Does it make you wonder how we might

have been as youngsters if we had grown up together?"

Leia's good mood sobered slightly. "All the time," she nodded slowly as she

studied her brother for the fiftieth time since he had come home with her.

They were so different, she thought glumly, so impregnated by their two

different backgrounds. Even when she was wearing casual wear with her hair

down, she was a dignitary all the way to the tip of her nails, whereas Luke's

rough, physical life on Tatooine and then as a Jedi, clung to him like a

shadow. Even when Luke wore his best fineries, or when Leia attempted to be

casual, they still seemed worlds apart.

Fortunately though, their hearts had bridged that distance. Nowadays, they

were able to share a genuine bond because of the time that they had spent in

the Rebellion. Without their common experience, she reflected not for the

first time since she had discovered her brother's identity, they might have

never bridged the gap of their upbringings.

"Leia?" her brother inquired, breaking the companionable silence that had

settled between them, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course," she encouraged. She had so few occasions to spend family time

with her brother that she was overjoyed that he had decided to discuss

personal topics instead of Republic issues. Sometimes, she thought to

herself, she had the feeling that she hardly knew him.

"When you finally accepted that you were in love with Han," he began,

somewhat hesitant, "how... did you know that your love was real?"

While Leia had grown used to expect surprising questions from her slightly-

estranged brother, she admitted to herself that his question truly surprised

her this time, especially considering how he had dedicated his life to the

Jedi. She wasn't quite sure why she was startled by it though; she had

certainly worked hard to find someone for him to love. Had she finally

succeeded? Had Tarrintha Goule touched his heart?

"Well," she began, shifting on her seat until she could meet his blue gaze,

"don't tell Han," she warned him playfully, "but upon later reflection, once

I knew how deeply I loved him, I realized that I had always felt something

for him from the start, even in the Death Star."

"You did?" Luke's voice was somewhat surprised.

She nodded.

"But you were furious at him that day," the edges of his mouth turned

downward in a frown.

"I was mad at the galaxy, period," she reminded him more seriously, "There

was the Rebellion, Alderaan..." She took a moment to let the fading memories

of her doomed home planet evaporate from her conscious mind. "However," she

continued, "Han caught me unprepared with his bravado and roguish style. He

never backed down. He never wavered in his belief in me, in us. My emotions

were so strong around him. I always wanted to lash out at him, to hurt him."

Leia laughed, "You know, there were times that I really thought I wanted to

kill Han."

Luke's eyes flew to her face and he listened to her next words intently.

"I never really hated him though," she continued thoughtfully. "Instead, I

realized that I was simply denying how I really felt. They sometimes say that

hate and love closely relate. I think that was true. When, I saw him risk his

own safety to help you, then when he ran off after those troopers..."

"I do remember not liking the way that you were looking at him," Luke nodded,

speculatively. His mind was racing. Leia had wanted to kill Han? The image of

Mara Jade holding a blaster at him on Myrkr flashed though his head.

"And when he came back to save you, I was done for," she finished wistfully,

"He had his quirks and flaws..."

"But he had a generous heart," they both concluded.

"Awww, and I thought that my good looks were what had captured your heart,"

their friend drawled from the entrance of the dining room. "If this gets out,

your Highness, you will ruin my reputation," he teased her.

"Then we'll discuss this in a committee, nerf-herder," she smiled back at him

as he sat down beside her and pecked her cheek.

On her left, Luke's eyebrows drew together as he smirked in amusement.

"Okay," he began more seriously. "I know about the Highness thing, and I sure

remember the first time that we heard the nerf-herder comment, but what's

with the committee thing?"

Han and Leia exchanged an amused gaze, then just smiled at Luke. "A very

private matter, Kid," Han winked at him. "So now, how long will you be

staying on Coruscant?"

"Can I count you in for the more informal dinner that I have arranged with

the Caribans? I'll make sure that Tarrintha is there," she said before her

brother could answer Han's question.

Unlike the smile that she was expecting though, Luke didn't show any sign of

eagerness toward the princess. She frowned in confusion at the slightly

unhappy gaze that her brother gave her. She was unsure if it were due to her

question, or to their joke about discussing things in a committee.

"I'll be there," he finally nodded. "Will Mara attend as well?"

"I think so. I've invited her," Leia answered, a slightly puzzled expression

scrossing her face.

"I overheard Talon Karrde saying that he was planning on coming," Han Solo

replied.

Luke frowned further.

"What's wrong?" she asked him this time, "Isn't that good news? I guess that

means that your friend will be here too. She could provide moral support for

you and Tarrintha."

"Yeah. Great," Luke said unenthusiastically.

Han and Leia exchanged looks as the Jedi turned away and peered out at the

Coruscant skyline from the large window in the living room. The sun had set

long ago and the numerous lights now glittered like a thousand stars

scattered across the buildings.

"I think I'll head home now. See you tomorrow." Luke said.

"Sure, kid," Han said.

Leia watched him leave in silence. "What's wrong with him?" she asked once

she was alone with Han.

"I don't know." Han shrugged, "but I do know that he's not exactly thrilled

at the prospect of having Tarrintha Goule as his date."

"But that makes no sense. Why else would he ask me about love if..." her

voice trailed off. "If he isn't in love with Tarrintha, then who...?"

Han shrugged again and smiled lopsidedly at his wife. "I don't know if even

Luke knows the answer to that one, sweetheart."

******

TBC in part 4: Revelations