Divided Heart
Part 4: Stepping Out of the Shadows
By SJ and Rhea Jediknight(skyjade@globetrotter.net and
jediknight@mail2master.com)
05-04-03/
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Disclaimers: Nothing in the Star Wars Universe belong to us; everything belongs
to George Lucas. We're only writing stories for fun. See my homepage for more
details.
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/3702
Special thanks to Rhea for bringing up the plot bunny of that story and
accepting to work on it with me :) Working with you is a pleasure, my
friend!
Rhea: Thanks for the collaboration, SJ! :)
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The next day, Talon Karrde sat across from Luke Skywalker at an out of the
way cantina. The music was low and the booths deep and private. Talon sipped
from a frothy mug of ale and Luke watched him with an intensity that made
him feel uncomfortable. Sensing his unease, the Jedi smiled slightly,
immediately putting Talon at ease.
"How's it going between you and Mara?" Luke asked in the silence.
Karrde raised an eyebrow, still interested about Mara and this Jedi's odd
relationship. "That's why I asked you to meet me here."
"Is she alright?" he asked instantly.
"Relax," Karrde comforted him, waving him down with his right hand. "She's
fine. The only thing wrong with her is me."
Luke frowned at that but remained silent.
Karrde sighed forlornly. "I wanted to talk to you because I don't think
there is anyone else alive that understands Mara more than you do. You're
her friend. You've always believed in her, your faith in her has never
wavered."
"Well," Skywalker rubbed his neck in obvious unease, "I don't know if she
would agree with me considering...," he paused, letting the trader hang onto
his next words... that never came. "But she's never let me down; she's my
best friend."
Karrde nodded, "Then I was right to come to you."
"Probably. What's the problem?"
"Terren Macay," Karrde grimaced, then noticed how the Jedi mirrored his sour
mood at the mention of the new suitor in Mara's life. "I think that she's in
love with him."
Even though Luke had been privy to Mara's feelings while she had been with
the stranger, Talon's words stabbed right through his heart. He concentrated
on maintaining his breathing, but the smuggler noticed the effect his words
had on him. "I know," he finally nodded, resigned. "I have a bad feeling
about him too."
"I've had Ghent research his past," Karrde continued seriously. "and the
little that I've found does nothing to reassure me."
"I know that he worked with her back in her days as the Emperor's Hand," he
commented slowly. His friend's statement had really hit him hard, but why
did this knowledge hurt so much?, he wondered. Was it because he knew that
Mara would be lying to herself if she went on with that guy? Or because he
was jealous?..
In front of him, Talon nodded thoughtfully. "That would explain a lot. I'll
direct the kid toward the old Imperial archives then, see what he can come
up with."
Luke nodded. He rose blindly to his feet. "I have to go."
He left before Talon Karrde could prevent the Jedi's departure. The smuggler
watched Skywalker head toward the exit, disappearing into the crowd. He
returned his attention to his ale. Although he wasn't in the habit of
drinking, his his love life was making him change his mind about not
consuming alcohol until a deal was settled.
Walking swiftly down the streets of Capitol City, Luke paid no attention to
either his surroundings or his direction.
Mara was in love with someone else.
While he had hoped that he would someday witness his best friend fall in
love with a man, he had never thought that it would happen this way... nor
that he would find the news unpleasant.
When Lando had courted his beautiful friend, Luke had felt protective of her
not because of he harbored deeper feelings for her but because he had known
Lando's reputation. He had wanted to save her from that kind of pointless
romance.
Then, there had been Karrde, two days ago. He had been surprised, even
somewhat glad that his friend could find a good man like Karrde, yet he had
known that it wouldn't work. There was just something missing in Mara's
eyes, in her sense, that made Luke believe that the relationship was doomed.
However, Terren Macay was a totally different deal and he was forced to
consider what he was feeling for his ex-personal nemesis, and wonder why she
had come to mean so much to him. He didn't want to see Mara fall for that
guy, he admitted to himself as he tried to block the image of Mara kissing
the stranger again.
No, he would prevent Mara from ending up with Terren. Luke didn't want to
abandon her to that man's cold, insensitive care, nor did he trust him.
There was just something about that man, he reflected. He considered warning
Mara through the Force, but decided against it when he became aware that
sending a mental message would irritate her worse than she already was.
Still, he sighed grimly as he made up his mind about his next destination,
his rescue of the previous day had been a tad too well-timed for a non-Jedi.
The thugs had known too much about Mara to be mere ruffians of lower
Coruscant.
Then, there was his reappearance at Mara's door, and his uncaring comments
about her distraught status...
Something was going on, and he decided that he would figure it out. He
headed toward the palace, and Mara's quarters.
*****
"Since when do you refuse to test your flying skills against an equal?"
Terren asked her when she turned down his suggestion for the day.
"Since I'm in business and in the middle of sensitive negotiations," she
retorted, then picked up a new pad with more information about production
statistics of Schillium. It was a very unstable element, yet when properly
channeled, generated more energy than a Supernova. It was the main resource
of the Cariban territory; and would be a source of great revenue for Mara as
well.
"And how much fun is trading?" Terren asked.
Mara meant to retort something archly when he continued, "Besides, you're
making up that trading excuse. If it were that important to you, you would
have worked on it yesterday too."
"Touche," Mara admitted, then sighed wearily. True, she did not need to
study Schillium facts anymore than she already had, and she had until the
evening to wait before she could take another stab at those contracts with a
high dignitary of Cariba. Still, she did not 'exactly' want to spend the
whole day with Terren either. While he did relieve her of the tension of the
past days, she had also quickly realized that he really reminded her too
much of a past that she hoped to forget. He made her feel like the person
she had been before she had met Luke: unhappy, selfish, and negative.
While she had often rebuked her best friend about his farmboy naivety and
too big a heart, she was now acutely aware that she really loved those
characteristics of his. They brightened her day whenever they were together,
and they made him charmingly unique. And very much unlike the man who was
currently slouching in the couch next to her.
He was an arrogant, self-important man, so he wanted a challenge, she slyly
thought as she made up her mind about the day's activities. She'd prove to
him that he wasn't the best at everything.
"All right," she finally agreed with him, "but we're not going to fly. I'm
curious to see if you're still as good as ever with a blaster."
As she expected, the self-confident man wilted inwardly at the mention of
his less than perfect aiming skills. He was good, but she was his better and
he had always known it.
"Deal?" she offered him maliciously.
The other took a moment to consider, offered his hand for a shake.
She gripped it--- and he pulled her swiftly against him in a possessive
kiss.
Despite some of his flaws, she admitted that his assertiveness was
appealing, making her remember what had appealed to her when she first knew
him.
They remained locked in a kiss for a long while. Later, they went on her
balcony, hailed a cab, and left for the shooting range of the Manarai
mountain, the toughest, most challenging range of the planet.
Unbeknown to Mara, Luke Skywalker came by her apartments a few minutes
later. She was gone, already too busy talking weapons with her companion to
feel his presence.
*****
Back at the palace, Luke slowly walked away from Mara's apartment. He had
missed her. He had known that the two of them had been together just moments
before, and he had sensed Mara's confusion about Terren. She was both bored,
and yet simultaneously attracted to him.
Was it that difficult to understand? he wanted to ask her, then caught
himself and blushed at his own display of jealousy. What was wrong with him?
Why was he reacting the way he was. Sure, he wanted to protect his friend,
even though she was more than capable of handling herself, but there was
more to-----
He had reached the turbolift bank and was waiting to board when the door
opened and the last person he wanted to see at the moment stood in the open
lift.
"Hello, Luke," the princess of Cariba said, as if she had been expecting to
find him there.
He also noticed that she was on a first name basis now. He decided to
deliberately put more distance between them. Unable to do anything else,
Luke stepped inside the turbolift.
"Princess," he bowed his head in respect, then, when she failed to step out
of the lift, stepped in and reluctantly joined her inside. "I thought that
you would be with your father's delegation, visiting the city."
"I did that on my own yesterday," she shook her well-cared blond head
slowly, then smiled gently at him. "I was hoping to catch up with you
today."
Aware that they were not alone in the lift, and that the princess was
looking at him as if he were flirting with her, Luke affected an attitude
that he had come to think of as his Jedi Master mask. "For which reason?"
The doors opened again, and more dignitaries stepped inside, forcing the
woman to press suggestively against him. She didn't complain about the
set-up and clung to him as if to catch up on the past day that he hadn't
seen her.
"Well, when I heard that you were still on planet, I thought that we could
see each other sooner," she said, not paying attention at all to the fact
that Coruscant's worst kind of gossip spreaders were surrounding them at the
moment.
"Sooner?" he frowned, then tried to take a step away from her. It didn't
work, he was already pressed against an Ithorian ambassador. "I, huh, had we
agreed on another meeting?" he queried, some of his farmboy confusion
slipping past his more rigid composure.
"That's what the President told me," the younger woman nodded flirtatiously.
Emperor's Bones! Luke thought instantly even as he prayed for the ride to be
over, Leia had completely misinterpreted his question the previous night and
had contacted the princess to arrange---
The lift finally reached Leia's floor. Freedom was just in sight. "You'll
excuse me, your Highness, this is my floor."
To his annoyance, the other followed him. "It's also mine." Catching up with
him, she took hold of his elbow and escorted him down the corridor and all
the way to his sister's quarters.
Aware that he would soon be trapped with the other woman and his confused
sister, Luke tried to think of an excuse to leave the princess until the
upcoming official dinner.
Thanks to his confusion about Mara, and his awareness of her emotional state
with her suitor, his clever mind remained a blank. He was trapped. It was
too late.
*****
When Leia excused herself from her surprise guest, her brother jumped to his
feet and asked her if she needed any help... with anything. She noticed that
he was practically begging her to take him away from Tarrintha for a while.
Amused, yet puzzled by his behavior, she nodded and headed toward the
kitchen. After convincing their guest to stay put and wait for them, her
brother was right on her heels.
Once in the kitchen, he let out a sigh of relief. "Why did you invite her
over so soon?" he asked her as they walked through the throng of droids that
were busy with the dinner that would be served in a few hours. "I thought
that you wanted to talk with me."
"What do you mean, why did I invite her? I thought that you had changed your
mind and wanted to spend more time with her, even introduce her properly to
me," she retorted, then opened the cooling unit and pulled a jar of berry
juice from it. She silently offered him some.
"So she's maneuvered her way 'in' without either of us being wiser?" Luke
frowned, then turned around as if to gaze through the wall of the kitchen.
"I knew that some women were interested in me, but this is ridiculous."
"But what's wrong with her, Luke?" she inquired, curious about her brother's
feelings for the cultured, interesting young woman. "She kind of reminds me
of myself when I was her age," she commented next, subtly reminded him that
he had been in love with her before they had found out about their
relationship.
"Without your spunk and courage," her Jedi brother answered honestly, then
nodded in thanks as he accepted a proffered glass. "She's also a little too
polished for my taste, wouldn't be good in a fight, if you know what I
mean," he blushed slightly, then buried his face in his glass.
'Like Mara Jade,' the ex-princess of Alderaan reflected with a thin smile,
then tried to see read her brother's feelings for the red-headed woman. "You
never know, Luke," she began lightly. "I've heard that she takes Teras-Kasi
lessons, and she knows how to wield weapons, pirate problems oblige."
"She does?" her brother gaped in slight surprise, then sobered again.
"Still, she isn't my style."
"Too even tempered, perhaps?" she teased him, fishing for more confirmation
that her brother was indeed falling in love with the only other woman that
she knew that answered all his other, already-mentioned criteria.
To her confusion, he shook his head at that. "She just sees me as the Jedi
Master, nothing else. She is not interested in the real me," he continued,
then filled his glass again before he selected a glass, for their guest.
"Huh? Luke," Leia interrupted him. "That might not be good enough for---"
"A princess, exactly. Like a farmboy isn't good enough for them, but just
come with me and you'll see for yourself, understand what I mean," he told
her seriously, then was gone.
Aware that her brother was being unusually open with her, Leia hurried to
fetch her glass from the counter, then followed him out of the kitchen and
into the living room. She entered just in time to notice the slight grimace
that the noble woman made when Luke presented her with the children's berry
juice. But right on the heel of that reaction, she smiled and sipped at her
glass, as if delighted.
And with that, she understood what her brother had been trying for years to
tell her about his not fitting in with nobility. He was not the problem,
they were.
Which now left the question of who would be able to love her brother as he
was, and to enjoy mere berry juice with him if that was the drink he offered
them.
Although a name floated up in her mind, again, she felt reluctant to
consider it. However, she made a note to herself to watch the other woman
very closely tonight, when she would be sitting in front of Luke and his
royal date.
******
Later that night, the high Court of Cariba had finished its tour of the city
and had accepted the President`s invitation to an more informal dinner at
her own place. Despite the informal nature of the meeting however, everyone
was wearing fineries, except perhaps Luke who had not returned to his place
since he had reached his sister`s. Since he was wearing his lightsaber
though, the dignitaries understood that he was simply affecting his Jedi
Master role and did not take offense in the fact that he was wearing simple,
dark-coloured, but not black, clothes.
However the other guests, and even their hosts, did not escape a more
scrutinizing look. The princess gave a dark look to Leia as Mara Jade and
Talon Karrde entered the Solo's living room.
Although mildly annoyed by the other's judgmental attitude, Luke did not
react to her question in any way. Instead, his eyes were glued on the
sumptuous sight of his best friend and the daring yet somehow conservative
gown that she had selected for the evening. While the cleavage of the
body-hugging, satin green gown was appropriate, revealing the form of her
breasts while keeping most of it out of sight, the long slit of her skirt
left nothing to the imagination exposing her left leg. Similarly, the back
of her gown was barely covering her athletic back, exposing it between a V
of fabric that met just at the small of her back. As if the dress did not
reveal enough details about the most attractive woman, a fine gold trim
enhanced her cleavage while a thin belt hugged her voluptuous hips in a
decorative V. It was as if she were wearing a necklace around her body that
completed the one around her swam-like neck. As if the she was not ravishing
enough, she had pulled up her hair in a wayward yet organized fashion,
leaving tendrils of hair to caress her barely covered shoulders while
uncovering the daring back of her chosen gown.
"Mara," he bowed his head to her, then refocused on her date. "Talon."
Despite their conversation of the morning, it seemed that the red-head still
wanted to give Talon a chance. Although Luke was more and more aware that he
did not want even that relationship to work, he hoped that his two friends
would have a great evening together.
Which was more than what he could say about himself and his tenacious date
who was once again stuck to his side as if she would never let go of him...
About an hour later, Karrde and Jade sat beside each other and just across
from Skywalker and Goule. Ever since she had arrived, Mara had found herself
hyperaware of the Jedi. Even though she had chosen to come to this dinner
with Karrde, and that her companion was pleasant and gallant, She could not
help but hear every word Luke said, and notice every motion that he made,
especially those toward his own date, the princess of Cariba.
Every time she glanced up, she faced him. Sometimes he watched her and
smiled slightly in acknowledgement. Sometimes he was smiling warmly at the
Princess, worrying her despite herself about his feelings for the
distinguished young woman. Still, she reflected, there was something
strained about him; he seemed on edge.
Inwardly shaking her head in an attempt to rid herself of pointless
observations, she forced herself to refocus on her own date. Talon was the
ultimate gentleman. Throughout the meal, he made sure her glass was always
filled with the finest wine, secured the choicest cut of meat and selected
the juiciest berries for dessert.
Mara smiled, grateful for the distraction he provided and warmed by his
solicitude. She really did like Talon Karrde, but her feelings did not go
any further, she admitted to herself as she felt a wave of regret when she
sensed deeper emotions from him. She could never give him the love he
deserved.
This would have to be it, no more dates, no more dinners until they cleared
the air between them. She didn't want to break his heart, but how could she
do that and maintain their friendship?
What made her think that she should date a friend in the first place, she
wondered. She glanced up at Skywalker in time to witness Tarrintha
whispering something into the Jedi's ear. He blushed, but did not pull away.
Mara quickly suppressed her irritation at the woman was so obviously lusting
after the Jedi, but she was genuinely surprised that he didn't seem to be
pushing her away.
Pulled by an irrational need to reassure herself, Mara began to do a mental
comparison between the Cariban royalty and herself. By the time she was
done, she realized that Luke and Tarrintha were perfect for each other.
Now why didn't that conclusion please her?
C3P0 entered the room. He was carrying a serving tray filled with digestive
delicacies, "Master Luke. It's so good to see you." He exclaimed.
"It's good to see you too, old friend. Here, let me help you," Luke stood up
and took the tray from the droid's slightly unstable hold
"It really isn't necessary, I'm use to such servitude."
"Nonsense." The Jedi protested insistently as he pried the plate from the
droid's less prehensile hands. "Besides, you aren't designed for such
duties."
"He is now, Luke," Leia commented meaningfully as she gestured to him to sit
down. *Sit down before our guests take offense of your discourteous
behavior, Luke. Threepio handles plates all the time now.*
He pointedly ignored her message through the Force.
Mara hid a smile in her napkin when Tarrintha glared at the golden protocol
droid.
The King, for his part, finally recovered from his shock and stated, "No
future son-in-law of mine should even touch a serving plate."
Luke stood still, his face instantly turning crimson while Leia froze in
mid-motion, her spoon stopping on its way to her mouth. Han Solo coughed,
and Fey'la slapped his back in attempt to prevent the man from choking.
------Future son-in-law? Mara felt her mind stop. All thoughts became impossible
as she watched the dignitaries start to whisper among each other at this
declaration.
"Dad!" Tarrintha wailed, but the look on her face was filled with cunning.
She was perfectly aware of the effect her father's pronouncement had on the
others and she said, "I'm sorry, Luke dear. Father never knows when to be
quiet."
Luke nodded slowly and sank back into his chair. The dinner continued, but
there was a distracted air that was not there a moment before. Leia watched
Luke closely, but her duties as hostess prevented her from asking the
questions that she were burning a hole in her tongue.
Talon chuckled and leaned down to whisper in Mara's ear, "I had no idea that
Luke was planning on marrying the princess. Somehow, I just can't picture
the two together."
"Oh I don't know, Talon." Mara bit out, "She's a lot like his sister."
Talon Karrde considered this. He gazed at Mara with his wise, pale blue
eyes.
He nodded slowly and said, "Perhaps."
C3P0 disappeared in the kitchen. Mara watched the couple across from her
closely. Each little gesture between them seemed suddenly more intimate.
Every look made her feel more and more jealous. Jealous? Mara Jade?
Impossible, she told herself. And yet, the feelings would not go away. She
tried to ignore the handsome blond couple. They did look good together, Mara
thought darkly. She missed the way Luke shifted uncomfortably in his chair
and the pleading look he gave his sister.
When the dinner was finally over, Mara almost tripped on the hem of her long
dress in an effort to leave the table. Talon squeezed her shoulder and began
a heated negotiation on her behalf with the Calaban chief trade officer. She
was grateful to her friend, unable to even think about business as she
watched Luke escape onto the balcony.
He leaned against the railing, releasing a long sigh as he peered out over
the Coruscant skyline. He always loved the view from Leia's balcony, but it
failed to comfort him. Tarrintha followed him outside. He felt his spine
stiffen, and he kept his attention trained on the distant air traffic hoping
that by sheer will alone, the princess would leave. No luck.
"It's beautiful out here." She said smoothly as she joined him by the
railing.
Luke glanced back and saw that Mara was leaning against Talon. She seemed
self-absorbed, unaware of her surroundings, completely oblivious to his
presence. He wanted more than anything to talk to her, but something about
Talon's presence made him feel inhibited.
Tarrintha ran a long nail seductively across his chin, turning his head
toward her. Luke's eyes widened as he faced her. There was something coldly
beautiful about her, something that kept him riveted in place as he wondered
what she had in mind. When Tarrintha leaned toward him, Luke did not pull
away. He was too shocked by the other's daring. It had been so long since
anyone had wanted to kiss him like this woman... It was just too bad that he
was unmoved by her, and an errant thought of a particular red head sprang
into his mind.
Tarrintha pulled back from him, laughed, and said, "You and I are going to
be so good together."
Luke began to shake his head in denial. This was so wrong. Before he could
say a word, she pulled him toward her, claiming his mouth again.
Mara watched in cold horror as Luke and Tarrintha kissed. She told herself
that she could handle the Jedi's new relationship, but the sheer exuberance
with which Tarrintha laughed and then kissed him made it pretty obvious that
the Jedi had proposed to her. Mara turned away feeling as if the ground had
crumbled away from beneath her feet. Luke hardly knew her. How could he want
to marry her? Mara felt both searing pain and dull anger, fill her being.
She focused on the anger, bringing it to life forcing the pain aside in her
fury.
Luke, who was still surprised by Tarrintha's unusually forward action,
finally managed to push her away from him. He didn't love her. She was an
attractive woman, but she just felt wrong.
He was barely acknowledging this fact when a sudden pain startled him. Luke
wondered for half a second if Tarrintha could sense his thoughts through the
force, then he realized that it wasn't the blonde's feeling but the anguish
of another lady.
Luke looked around just in time to see Mara turn away. A flash of guilt
speared through him as he realized what his friend had just seen. He turned
to Tarrintha, gave her some lame excuse before she could stick herself to
him once again, then promptly followed Mara into and out of the Solo's
residence.
He didn't know what he would say when he reached her, but her pain continued
to echo through him, forcing him onward.
Once in the outside corridor, Mara gave her fury free reign, knowing that it
gave her the ability to prevent the tears from spilling free.
Tears? For Skywalker?
This was ridiculous, she thought to herself. Mara realized that she had left
the dinner party without saying a word to the Solos or even to her date,
Talon Karrde. She stepped into a turbolift and groaned inwardly when
Skywalker dashed into the lift before the doors closed behind him.
Mara glared silently at the Jedi, hoping that her eyes did not betray her
with the telltale moisture. Luke regarded her silently, waiting for her to
speak. Finally he said, "I know Leia sometimes goes a little overboard with
the spices, but I though your experienced palate could handle the heat." His
voice had a mildly humorous tone, but his eyes never strayed from her face.
"I'm surprised you're not still pressed up against the princess." Mara spat
out vehemently.
Luke's face grew warm and he replied, "I'm not interested in her. Besides,
what would it matter to you anyway? Aren't two men enough for you?"
Mara glared at him, but had the grace to be embarrassed as well. She spat
angrily, "Karrde and Terren are none of your concern."
"Why not? I thought we were friends," Luke said.
"If we're such good friends, why didn't you tell me you were going to marry
your princess?"
It was Luke's turn to be confused about her comments. "What? Marry her?
You're wrong Mara. That was a mistake." Luke's eyes were wide.
"Oh come on, Luke. I've heard about how close you've grown throughout the
past days. The King practically announced your engagement at the dinner, and
she's more than admitted that you've grown close. That scene on the balcony
just confirmed it."
"That might be what she wants, but I'm not marrying Tarrintha. I have no
interest in her."
"No interest?" Mara sneered "Pulling a girl close is certainly a strange way
to show a girl that you're not interested."
The moment the turbolift doors opened, Mara stepped out. After they exited
the lift, Luke blocked her path.
"Get out of my way, Skywalker." She pushed him back.
Luke stumbled away and asked, "No, listen to me. I'm not going to marry the
princess, Mara. I don't love her."
Mara sputtered and then said, "I don't believe you."
"Oh, so now you don't believe me yet you can trust that Terren Macay?"
Mara's eyes narrowed in warning. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I don't trust that guy," he admitted to her.
Mara raising her hackles the moment Luke assumed his protective role again.
Thrusting her finger right under his nose, she growled, "Stay out of my
life, Jedi. I'm old enough to make my own decisions."
"But not wise enough to see lies even in yourself," Luke replied honestly.
A cold chill coursed through her, freezing her in place.
For a very long moment, they both glared at each other, debating if she
wanted to hit him or kiss him Luke said, "And what about Karrde? Why did you
walk out of that party, leaving him behind if you care so much for him?"
Mara dropped her gaze and then shrugged, "I know that Talon and I won't
work. I just haven't figured out a way to let him know without ruining our
friendship. He means a lot to me, Luke I don't want to lose him."
"I'll always be there for you, Mara." Talon's voice said from behind them.
Mara whirled around, flushing. Talon stepped free of the turbolift to join
them on the outer platform.
"I'm sorry, Talon."
"Don't be. You've already tried telling me. I've just been too stubborn to
listen. I was hoping . . but that doesn't matter now."
His shrewd gaze went from Mara's face to Luke's and he asked pointedly,
"I'll not stand in your way anymore. I know you've in love, just not with
me. I've always had this strange notion of wanting to have the woman in my
life give her heart to me."
Mara started to shake her head.
"It's all right, Mara," Talon asserted. "I know you love Terren."
He was baiting her, Karrde knew full well that Mara did not know her own
heart and he was sure that her feeling went pretty deep for a certain Jedi
Master. Karrde cared for her deeply and decided it was time that Mara was no
longer in the dark about her own feelings.
Mara gazed at Karrde, remaining silent, as if considering whether to open
her heart to them or not. Then the moment was gone, "You are both wrong!"
she denied adamantly. "I'm not in love. Period. Please make my apologies to
Organa-Solo and tell your princess." She made the title into an insult,
"that I'll arrange for a representative to see to the details of our
arrangement."
Mara turned on her heel and walked quickly away.
Talon watched the various emotions cross the Jedi's face, exchanged a
bemused and understanding gaze with him, then before he could prompt the
younger man to go after Jade, Luke pulled himself together.
"Mara! Wait," Luke called as he ran after the angry young woman.
Smiling knowingly, the smuggler quietly slipped away, retuning to the party
to do damage control while giving some privacy to the two Jedi.
As he re-entered the waiting lift, Karrde was surprised to find that he
really wasn't hurt by Mara's rejection. She cared for him still and they had
their friendship. Someday, he'd find true love, just not today, and in the
meantime, he hoped his two friends would finally talk about their feelings
for one another.
Mara was running now, intent on losing Skywalker. She was within sight of
her door; she noticed that someone was waiting just outside of it. It was
Terren. Luke closed the distance between them. Seeing the Jedi right behind
her, Mara reached out with the Force and opened her door. She pushed Terren
inside, then slammed the door shut behind them.
On the other side of the door, Luke barely kept himself from ramming nose
first into the closed door. "Mara, please," he tried to open communication
with her again. "We have to talk about this."
*Why? I don't think it's necessary and I don't want to,* she sent him while
she pulled her other companion to herself and kissed him.
As she expected, her Jedi friend balked away and withdrew. The moment that
Luke was gone, she pulled away from Terren and turned her back to him.
"Hey, that was a nice opening, but not nearly enough after a few hours
of---"
"Cut it out, Terren," she warned him, then freed her hair from her simple
bonds. "I don't want to see anyone at the moment."
"Then you shouldn't have shoved me inside," the other began languorously.
She silently warned him away, then, when the other failed to back away, she
reached out with the Force and called her nearby lightsaber to her hand. She
turned it on with a snap-hiss waving it a mere inch away from the man's
face.
"Get out, or you won't like the consequences," she warned, glaring at him
from under her eyelashes.
She expected the man to argue, to try and arrange for a next meeting with
her, but instead, he just nodded in a way that reminded her of his imperial
background. He swiveled on his heel in a precise movement and left her
alone.
Once her apartment was empty, she turned the weapon off, dropped the hilt on
the nearby couch, then joined it and sunk into the deep cushions.
Luke was right, she admitted to herself. She was lying to herself about
Terren. There was no point in pursuing a relationship with him. It was over
years ago. She tried to remember what it was that had attracted her about
the man and when she tried to recall his features, Skywalker's face hovered
into view. He was so infuriating sometimes. He made her feel so angry, he
made her feel confused, he made her feel... period. She was more alive with
him than with anyone else she knew.
Why was that, she wondered?
******
Back at his apartment, Luke walked to the railing and peered out over the
city below. His mind raced with the implications. He recalled Mara's pain
when she had witnessed the kiss followed by her seemingly jealous behavior.
Luke wondered, Could she really love him? Luke Skywalker? He always managed
to make her angry, they bickered constantly. How had this happened? Could it
be? Could she really feel about him like he did about her? And how had he
failed to notice?
He heard Talon's voice in his head asserting that Mara was in love and her
insistence that she did not harbor deep feelings for anybody.
As he pondered his relationship with his friend, it never occurred once to
him to return to the dinner party or to his date, Tarrintha Goule.
******
Hours later, after changing clothes and going for a long, soul searching
walk, Mara sat cross legged on a raised dais in a long forgotten, which was
hidden deep within the old Imperial Palace. She gazed for a moment at the
empty throne, wondering if she would be happier if the Emperor still
occupied it. Probably not, but at times like these when she would have liked
to turn to a family member, she sometimes ended up here.
As dark as the Emperor was, he was the closest thing she had to a father.
She might have normally gone to Skywalker, but since she had no intention of
discussing her recent feeling for the Jedi with him, that was out of the
question.
This was by no means the main Imperial throne room. However, unbeknown to
his enemies, the Emperor had many antechambers, still undiscovered by the
New Republic. The dark side presence lingered faintly even in this lesser
chamber. Mara was immune from the damaging effects that might have bothered
other force sensitive individuals, having lived in its shadow for so many
years.
She hadn't been here for at least a year. Mara tried to pin down what had
driven her subconscious to seek this dour room's dubious solace. Was it
because of Terren Macay's reappearance in her life? She had once sat beside
him in this very spot at the Emperor's feet. She remembered the growing
closeness between them. He had been a light in her dark world. The light
still burned, but somehow did not seem so bright. She snorted at herself.
She was becoming poetic, but her thoughts continued to focus on this image.
Who was her bright light? Was it Talon Karrde? No. He was one of the many
stars in the sky, but certainly not the sun. Instead, her mind settled on
Skywalker. He was the one person in all the galaxy that she really believed
in, the only one who made her 'feel'. The combination of supremely capable
Jedi Master with his farm boy honesty and humility balanced perfectly,
making the ideal man. Ideal? Skywalker? She almost laughed at the thought,
but couldn't. She knew it was what she truly believed when she allowed her
thoughts free reign in the privacy of this forgotten chamber.
From the moment she met him, she had been unable to kill him. There was just
something that seemed somehow wrong about fulfilling the Emperor's command.
Never before had she failed to fulfill any assignment for her former master.
It would be easy to believe that it had been the passage of time since his
death that had dulled her need to complete her assignment, but she knew that
was a lie. Mara Jade just could not kill Luke Skywalker. Something deep
within her rebelled a the very thought. Instead, she had saved his life on
many occasions.
"Mara Jade failed, and the Jedi is too dangerous to keep alive. I will kill
Luke Skywalker." A voice echoed throughout the chamber.
Mara froze. Her entire body became as cold as ice. The only thing that moved
was the thudding of her heart. She reached out with her mind, but could not
find the Emperor's presence. Just the familiar echo of his former power
resonated in the room. Mara searched the room looking for the one who had
spoken those words.
"He will die when the Seismic Accelerator destroys the heart of this
insurrection, as will most of Coruscant." The hauntingly familiar voice
continued.
There, down below on the lower level two figures stood cloaked in shadow.
Mara remained still, realizing that her presence had gone unnoticed.
"Of course, my dear Commander," a familiar feminine voice cooed. The shadow
slid up to the taller of the two and wrapped her arms around the other. As
she moved forward, a low light illuminated her face and Mara suppressed a
gasp. It was Tarrintha Goule.
The couple kissed passionately and a small pang of sympathy speared through
Mara. Poor Luke. He had awful luck with women. But at the same time Mara
could not help but be somewhat relieved at this development. There would be
no way Luke would stay with Tarrintha once he learned of her betrayal.
Unless he got it in his head to save her, like he tried to save the rest of
the universe.
Mara was an unwilling spectator as the two lovers continued to embrace. If
she moved, she would draw attention to her location. Mara was intent on
fully exploiting the potential of learning more intelligence on this threat
to both Skywalker and to Coruscant. She tried to figure out who Tarrintha
was kissing. She vaguely remembered an aide that was always near her that
seemed to be about the same height. She would have to investigate him
further.
The couple pulled away, the man was still in shadow, his back to Mara. "You
will have to leave soon before the planetary shields are up."
"What about you?" Tarrintha asked.
"I can take care of myself."
"But aren't you going to be at the epicenter?" she asked, the perfect
picture of concern.
"Don't worry, my dear. I'll be far away from the Bothan embassy."
They began to kiss again, and Mara rolled her eyes. Sith, they were evil,
she thought as she was forced to watch another display of passion. Yet, at
the same time, she felt a great relief flood her as she realized that the
woman had not had any real interest in her Jedi friend either.
It wasn't long before they broke apart and left the chamber. Mara waited to
gain some distance between her and the couple and then hurried away to warn
Skywalker. She hoped she could get to him in time.
TBC in part 5
Written 2003 (Rhea and SJ)
Part 4: Stepping Out of the Shadows
By SJ and Rhea Jediknight(skyjade@globetrotter.net and
jediknight@mail2master.com)
05-04-03/
____________________
Disclaimers: Nothing in the Star Wars Universe belong to us; everything belongs
to George Lucas. We're only writing stories for fun. See my homepage for more
details.
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/3702
Special thanks to Rhea for bringing up the plot bunny of that story and
accepting to work on it with me :) Working with you is a pleasure, my
friend!
Rhea: Thanks for the collaboration, SJ! :)
_____________________
The next day, Talon Karrde sat across from Luke Skywalker at an out of the
way cantina. The music was low and the booths deep and private. Talon sipped
from a frothy mug of ale and Luke watched him with an intensity that made
him feel uncomfortable. Sensing his unease, the Jedi smiled slightly,
immediately putting Talon at ease.
"How's it going between you and Mara?" Luke asked in the silence.
Karrde raised an eyebrow, still interested about Mara and this Jedi's odd
relationship. "That's why I asked you to meet me here."
"Is she alright?" he asked instantly.
"Relax," Karrde comforted him, waving him down with his right hand. "She's
fine. The only thing wrong with her is me."
Luke frowned at that but remained silent.
Karrde sighed forlornly. "I wanted to talk to you because I don't think
there is anyone else alive that understands Mara more than you do. You're
her friend. You've always believed in her, your faith in her has never
wavered."
"Well," Skywalker rubbed his neck in obvious unease, "I don't know if she
would agree with me considering...," he paused, letting the trader hang onto
his next words... that never came. "But she's never let me down; she's my
best friend."
Karrde nodded, "Then I was right to come to you."
"Probably. What's the problem?"
"Terren Macay," Karrde grimaced, then noticed how the Jedi mirrored his sour
mood at the mention of the new suitor in Mara's life. "I think that she's in
love with him."
Even though Luke had been privy to Mara's feelings while she had been with
the stranger, Talon's words stabbed right through his heart. He concentrated
on maintaining his breathing, but the smuggler noticed the effect his words
had on him. "I know," he finally nodded, resigned. "I have a bad feeling
about him too."
"I've had Ghent research his past," Karrde continued seriously. "and the
little that I've found does nothing to reassure me."
"I know that he worked with her back in her days as the Emperor's Hand," he
commented slowly. His friend's statement had really hit him hard, but why
did this knowledge hurt so much?, he wondered. Was it because he knew that
Mara would be lying to herself if she went on with that guy? Or because he
was jealous?..
In front of him, Talon nodded thoughtfully. "That would explain a lot. I'll
direct the kid toward the old Imperial archives then, see what he can come
up with."
Luke nodded. He rose blindly to his feet. "I have to go."
He left before Talon Karrde could prevent the Jedi's departure. The smuggler
watched Skywalker head toward the exit, disappearing into the crowd. He
returned his attention to his ale. Although he wasn't in the habit of
drinking, his his love life was making him change his mind about not
consuming alcohol until a deal was settled.
Walking swiftly down the streets of Capitol City, Luke paid no attention to
either his surroundings or his direction.
Mara was in love with someone else.
While he had hoped that he would someday witness his best friend fall in
love with a man, he had never thought that it would happen this way... nor
that he would find the news unpleasant.
When Lando had courted his beautiful friend, Luke had felt protective of her
not because of he harbored deeper feelings for her but because he had known
Lando's reputation. He had wanted to save her from that kind of pointless
romance.
Then, there had been Karrde, two days ago. He had been surprised, even
somewhat glad that his friend could find a good man like Karrde, yet he had
known that it wouldn't work. There was just something missing in Mara's
eyes, in her sense, that made Luke believe that the relationship was doomed.
However, Terren Macay was a totally different deal and he was forced to
consider what he was feeling for his ex-personal nemesis, and wonder why she
had come to mean so much to him. He didn't want to see Mara fall for that
guy, he admitted to himself as he tried to block the image of Mara kissing
the stranger again.
No, he would prevent Mara from ending up with Terren. Luke didn't want to
abandon her to that man's cold, insensitive care, nor did he trust him.
There was just something about that man, he reflected. He considered warning
Mara through the Force, but decided against it when he became aware that
sending a mental message would irritate her worse than she already was.
Still, he sighed grimly as he made up his mind about his next destination,
his rescue of the previous day had been a tad too well-timed for a non-Jedi.
The thugs had known too much about Mara to be mere ruffians of lower
Coruscant.
Then, there was his reappearance at Mara's door, and his uncaring comments
about her distraught status...
Something was going on, and he decided that he would figure it out. He
headed toward the palace, and Mara's quarters.
*****
"Since when do you refuse to test your flying skills against an equal?"
Terren asked her when she turned down his suggestion for the day.
"Since I'm in business and in the middle of sensitive negotiations," she
retorted, then picked up a new pad with more information about production
statistics of Schillium. It was a very unstable element, yet when properly
channeled, generated more energy than a Supernova. It was the main resource
of the Cariban territory; and would be a source of great revenue for Mara as
well.
"And how much fun is trading?" Terren asked.
Mara meant to retort something archly when he continued, "Besides, you're
making up that trading excuse. If it were that important to you, you would
have worked on it yesterday too."
"Touche," Mara admitted, then sighed wearily. True, she did not need to
study Schillium facts anymore than she already had, and she had until the
evening to wait before she could take another stab at those contracts with a
high dignitary of Cariba. Still, she did not 'exactly' want to spend the
whole day with Terren either. While he did relieve her of the tension of the
past days, she had also quickly realized that he really reminded her too
much of a past that she hoped to forget. He made her feel like the person
she had been before she had met Luke: unhappy, selfish, and negative.
While she had often rebuked her best friend about his farmboy naivety and
too big a heart, she was now acutely aware that she really loved those
characteristics of his. They brightened her day whenever they were together,
and they made him charmingly unique. And very much unlike the man who was
currently slouching in the couch next to her.
He was an arrogant, self-important man, so he wanted a challenge, she slyly
thought as she made up her mind about the day's activities. She'd prove to
him that he wasn't the best at everything.
"All right," she finally agreed with him, "but we're not going to fly. I'm
curious to see if you're still as good as ever with a blaster."
As she expected, the self-confident man wilted inwardly at the mention of
his less than perfect aiming skills. He was good, but she was his better and
he had always known it.
"Deal?" she offered him maliciously.
The other took a moment to consider, offered his hand for a shake.
She gripped it--- and he pulled her swiftly against him in a possessive
kiss.
Despite some of his flaws, she admitted that his assertiveness was
appealing, making her remember what had appealed to her when she first knew
him.
They remained locked in a kiss for a long while. Later, they went on her
balcony, hailed a cab, and left for the shooting range of the Manarai
mountain, the toughest, most challenging range of the planet.
Unbeknown to Mara, Luke Skywalker came by her apartments a few minutes
later. She was gone, already too busy talking weapons with her companion to
feel his presence.
*****
Back at the palace, Luke slowly walked away from Mara's apartment. He had
missed her. He had known that the two of them had been together just moments
before, and he had sensed Mara's confusion about Terren. She was both bored,
and yet simultaneously attracted to him.
Was it that difficult to understand? he wanted to ask her, then caught
himself and blushed at his own display of jealousy. What was wrong with him?
Why was he reacting the way he was. Sure, he wanted to protect his friend,
even though she was more than capable of handling herself, but there was
more to-----
He had reached the turbolift bank and was waiting to board when the door
opened and the last person he wanted to see at the moment stood in the open
lift.
"Hello, Luke," the princess of Cariba said, as if she had been expecting to
find him there.
He also noticed that she was on a first name basis now. He decided to
deliberately put more distance between them. Unable to do anything else,
Luke stepped inside the turbolift.
"Princess," he bowed his head in respect, then, when she failed to step out
of the lift, stepped in and reluctantly joined her inside. "I thought that
you would be with your father's delegation, visiting the city."
"I did that on my own yesterday," she shook her well-cared blond head
slowly, then smiled gently at him. "I was hoping to catch up with you
today."
Aware that they were not alone in the lift, and that the princess was
looking at him as if he were flirting with her, Luke affected an attitude
that he had come to think of as his Jedi Master mask. "For which reason?"
The doors opened again, and more dignitaries stepped inside, forcing the
woman to press suggestively against him. She didn't complain about the
set-up and clung to him as if to catch up on the past day that he hadn't
seen her.
"Well, when I heard that you were still on planet, I thought that we could
see each other sooner," she said, not paying attention at all to the fact
that Coruscant's worst kind of gossip spreaders were surrounding them at the
moment.
"Sooner?" he frowned, then tried to take a step away from her. It didn't
work, he was already pressed against an Ithorian ambassador. "I, huh, had we
agreed on another meeting?" he queried, some of his farmboy confusion
slipping past his more rigid composure.
"That's what the President told me," the younger woman nodded flirtatiously.
Emperor's Bones! Luke thought instantly even as he prayed for the ride to be
over, Leia had completely misinterpreted his question the previous night and
had contacted the princess to arrange---
The lift finally reached Leia's floor. Freedom was just in sight. "You'll
excuse me, your Highness, this is my floor."
To his annoyance, the other followed him. "It's also mine." Catching up with
him, she took hold of his elbow and escorted him down the corridor and all
the way to his sister's quarters.
Aware that he would soon be trapped with the other woman and his confused
sister, Luke tried to think of an excuse to leave the princess until the
upcoming official dinner.
Thanks to his confusion about Mara, and his awareness of her emotional state
with her suitor, his clever mind remained a blank. He was trapped. It was
too late.
*****
When Leia excused herself from her surprise guest, her brother jumped to his
feet and asked her if she needed any help... with anything. She noticed that
he was practically begging her to take him away from Tarrintha for a while.
Amused, yet puzzled by his behavior, she nodded and headed toward the
kitchen. After convincing their guest to stay put and wait for them, her
brother was right on her heels.
Once in the kitchen, he let out a sigh of relief. "Why did you invite her
over so soon?" he asked her as they walked through the throng of droids that
were busy with the dinner that would be served in a few hours. "I thought
that you wanted to talk with me."
"What do you mean, why did I invite her? I thought that you had changed your
mind and wanted to spend more time with her, even introduce her properly to
me," she retorted, then opened the cooling unit and pulled a jar of berry
juice from it. She silently offered him some.
"So she's maneuvered her way 'in' without either of us being wiser?" Luke
frowned, then turned around as if to gaze through the wall of the kitchen.
"I knew that some women were interested in me, but this is ridiculous."
"But what's wrong with her, Luke?" she inquired, curious about her brother's
feelings for the cultured, interesting young woman. "She kind of reminds me
of myself when I was her age," she commented next, subtly reminded him that
he had been in love with her before they had found out about their
relationship.
"Without your spunk and courage," her Jedi brother answered honestly, then
nodded in thanks as he accepted a proffered glass. "She's also a little too
polished for my taste, wouldn't be good in a fight, if you know what I
mean," he blushed slightly, then buried his face in his glass.
'Like Mara Jade,' the ex-princess of Alderaan reflected with a thin smile,
then tried to see read her brother's feelings for the red-headed woman. "You
never know, Luke," she began lightly. "I've heard that she takes Teras-Kasi
lessons, and she knows how to wield weapons, pirate problems oblige."
"She does?" her brother gaped in slight surprise, then sobered again.
"Still, she isn't my style."
"Too even tempered, perhaps?" she teased him, fishing for more confirmation
that her brother was indeed falling in love with the only other woman that
she knew that answered all his other, already-mentioned criteria.
To her confusion, he shook his head at that. "She just sees me as the Jedi
Master, nothing else. She is not interested in the real me," he continued,
then filled his glass again before he selected a glass, for their guest.
"Huh? Luke," Leia interrupted him. "That might not be good enough for---"
"A princess, exactly. Like a farmboy isn't good enough for them, but just
come with me and you'll see for yourself, understand what I mean," he told
her seriously, then was gone.
Aware that her brother was being unusually open with her, Leia hurried to
fetch her glass from the counter, then followed him out of the kitchen and
into the living room. She entered just in time to notice the slight grimace
that the noble woman made when Luke presented her with the children's berry
juice. But right on the heel of that reaction, she smiled and sipped at her
glass, as if delighted.
And with that, she understood what her brother had been trying for years to
tell her about his not fitting in with nobility. He was not the problem,
they were.
Which now left the question of who would be able to love her brother as he
was, and to enjoy mere berry juice with him if that was the drink he offered
them.
Although a name floated up in her mind, again, she felt reluctant to
consider it. However, she made a note to herself to watch the other woman
very closely tonight, when she would be sitting in front of Luke and his
royal date.
******
Later that night, the high Court of Cariba had finished its tour of the city
and had accepted the President`s invitation to an more informal dinner at
her own place. Despite the informal nature of the meeting however, everyone
was wearing fineries, except perhaps Luke who had not returned to his place
since he had reached his sister`s. Since he was wearing his lightsaber
though, the dignitaries understood that he was simply affecting his Jedi
Master role and did not take offense in the fact that he was wearing simple,
dark-coloured, but not black, clothes.
However the other guests, and even their hosts, did not escape a more
scrutinizing look. The princess gave a dark look to Leia as Mara Jade and
Talon Karrde entered the Solo's living room.
Although mildly annoyed by the other's judgmental attitude, Luke did not
react to her question in any way. Instead, his eyes were glued on the
sumptuous sight of his best friend and the daring yet somehow conservative
gown that she had selected for the evening. While the cleavage of the
body-hugging, satin green gown was appropriate, revealing the form of her
breasts while keeping most of it out of sight, the long slit of her skirt
left nothing to the imagination exposing her left leg. Similarly, the back
of her gown was barely covering her athletic back, exposing it between a V
of fabric that met just at the small of her back. As if the dress did not
reveal enough details about the most attractive woman, a fine gold trim
enhanced her cleavage while a thin belt hugged her voluptuous hips in a
decorative V. It was as if she were wearing a necklace around her body that
completed the one around her swam-like neck. As if the she was not ravishing
enough, she had pulled up her hair in a wayward yet organized fashion,
leaving tendrils of hair to caress her barely covered shoulders while
uncovering the daring back of her chosen gown.
"Mara," he bowed his head to her, then refocused on her date. "Talon."
Despite their conversation of the morning, it seemed that the red-head still
wanted to give Talon a chance. Although Luke was more and more aware that he
did not want even that relationship to work, he hoped that his two friends
would have a great evening together.
Which was more than what he could say about himself and his tenacious date
who was once again stuck to his side as if she would never let go of him...
About an hour later, Karrde and Jade sat beside each other and just across
from Skywalker and Goule. Ever since she had arrived, Mara had found herself
hyperaware of the Jedi. Even though she had chosen to come to this dinner
with Karrde, and that her companion was pleasant and gallant, She could not
help but hear every word Luke said, and notice every motion that he made,
especially those toward his own date, the princess of Cariba.
Every time she glanced up, she faced him. Sometimes he watched her and
smiled slightly in acknowledgement. Sometimes he was smiling warmly at the
Princess, worrying her despite herself about his feelings for the
distinguished young woman. Still, she reflected, there was something
strained about him; he seemed on edge.
Inwardly shaking her head in an attempt to rid herself of pointless
observations, she forced herself to refocus on her own date. Talon was the
ultimate gentleman. Throughout the meal, he made sure her glass was always
filled with the finest wine, secured the choicest cut of meat and selected
the juiciest berries for dessert.
Mara smiled, grateful for the distraction he provided and warmed by his
solicitude. She really did like Talon Karrde, but her feelings did not go
any further, she admitted to herself as she felt a wave of regret when she
sensed deeper emotions from him. She could never give him the love he
deserved.
This would have to be it, no more dates, no more dinners until they cleared
the air between them. She didn't want to break his heart, but how could she
do that and maintain their friendship?
What made her think that she should date a friend in the first place, she
wondered. She glanced up at Skywalker in time to witness Tarrintha
whispering something into the Jedi's ear. He blushed, but did not pull away.
Mara quickly suppressed her irritation at the woman was so obviously lusting
after the Jedi, but she was genuinely surprised that he didn't seem to be
pushing her away.
Pulled by an irrational need to reassure herself, Mara began to do a mental
comparison between the Cariban royalty and herself. By the time she was
done, she realized that Luke and Tarrintha were perfect for each other.
Now why didn't that conclusion please her?
C3P0 entered the room. He was carrying a serving tray filled with digestive
delicacies, "Master Luke. It's so good to see you." He exclaimed.
"It's good to see you too, old friend. Here, let me help you," Luke stood up
and took the tray from the droid's slightly unstable hold
"It really isn't necessary, I'm use to such servitude."
"Nonsense." The Jedi protested insistently as he pried the plate from the
droid's less prehensile hands. "Besides, you aren't designed for such
duties."
"He is now, Luke," Leia commented meaningfully as she gestured to him to sit
down. *Sit down before our guests take offense of your discourteous
behavior, Luke. Threepio handles plates all the time now.*
He pointedly ignored her message through the Force.
Mara hid a smile in her napkin when Tarrintha glared at the golden protocol
droid.
The King, for his part, finally recovered from his shock and stated, "No
future son-in-law of mine should even touch a serving plate."
Luke stood still, his face instantly turning crimson while Leia froze in
mid-motion, her spoon stopping on its way to her mouth. Han Solo coughed,
and Fey'la slapped his back in attempt to prevent the man from choking.
------Future son-in-law? Mara felt her mind stop. All thoughts became impossible
as she watched the dignitaries start to whisper among each other at this
declaration.
"Dad!" Tarrintha wailed, but the look on her face was filled with cunning.
She was perfectly aware of the effect her father's pronouncement had on the
others and she said, "I'm sorry, Luke dear. Father never knows when to be
quiet."
Luke nodded slowly and sank back into his chair. The dinner continued, but
there was a distracted air that was not there a moment before. Leia watched
Luke closely, but her duties as hostess prevented her from asking the
questions that she were burning a hole in her tongue.
Talon chuckled and leaned down to whisper in Mara's ear, "I had no idea that
Luke was planning on marrying the princess. Somehow, I just can't picture
the two together."
"Oh I don't know, Talon." Mara bit out, "She's a lot like his sister."
Talon Karrde considered this. He gazed at Mara with his wise, pale blue
eyes.
He nodded slowly and said, "Perhaps."
C3P0 disappeared in the kitchen. Mara watched the couple across from her
closely. Each little gesture between them seemed suddenly more intimate.
Every look made her feel more and more jealous. Jealous? Mara Jade?
Impossible, she told herself. And yet, the feelings would not go away. She
tried to ignore the handsome blond couple. They did look good together, Mara
thought darkly. She missed the way Luke shifted uncomfortably in his chair
and the pleading look he gave his sister.
When the dinner was finally over, Mara almost tripped on the hem of her long
dress in an effort to leave the table. Talon squeezed her shoulder and began
a heated negotiation on her behalf with the Calaban chief trade officer. She
was grateful to her friend, unable to even think about business as she
watched Luke escape onto the balcony.
He leaned against the railing, releasing a long sigh as he peered out over
the Coruscant skyline. He always loved the view from Leia's balcony, but it
failed to comfort him. Tarrintha followed him outside. He felt his spine
stiffen, and he kept his attention trained on the distant air traffic hoping
that by sheer will alone, the princess would leave. No luck.
"It's beautiful out here." She said smoothly as she joined him by the
railing.
Luke glanced back and saw that Mara was leaning against Talon. She seemed
self-absorbed, unaware of her surroundings, completely oblivious to his
presence. He wanted more than anything to talk to her, but something about
Talon's presence made him feel inhibited.
Tarrintha ran a long nail seductively across his chin, turning his head
toward her. Luke's eyes widened as he faced her. There was something coldly
beautiful about her, something that kept him riveted in place as he wondered
what she had in mind. When Tarrintha leaned toward him, Luke did not pull
away. He was too shocked by the other's daring. It had been so long since
anyone had wanted to kiss him like this woman... It was just too bad that he
was unmoved by her, and an errant thought of a particular red head sprang
into his mind.
Tarrintha pulled back from him, laughed, and said, "You and I are going to
be so good together."
Luke began to shake his head in denial. This was so wrong. Before he could
say a word, she pulled him toward her, claiming his mouth again.
Mara watched in cold horror as Luke and Tarrintha kissed. She told herself
that she could handle the Jedi's new relationship, but the sheer exuberance
with which Tarrintha laughed and then kissed him made it pretty obvious that
the Jedi had proposed to her. Mara turned away feeling as if the ground had
crumbled away from beneath her feet. Luke hardly knew her. How could he want
to marry her? Mara felt both searing pain and dull anger, fill her being.
She focused on the anger, bringing it to life forcing the pain aside in her
fury.
Luke, who was still surprised by Tarrintha's unusually forward action,
finally managed to push her away from him. He didn't love her. She was an
attractive woman, but she just felt wrong.
He was barely acknowledging this fact when a sudden pain startled him. Luke
wondered for half a second if Tarrintha could sense his thoughts through the
force, then he realized that it wasn't the blonde's feeling but the anguish
of another lady.
Luke looked around just in time to see Mara turn away. A flash of guilt
speared through him as he realized what his friend had just seen. He turned
to Tarrintha, gave her some lame excuse before she could stick herself to
him once again, then promptly followed Mara into and out of the Solo's
residence.
He didn't know what he would say when he reached her, but her pain continued
to echo through him, forcing him onward.
Once in the outside corridor, Mara gave her fury free reign, knowing that it
gave her the ability to prevent the tears from spilling free.
Tears? For Skywalker?
This was ridiculous, she thought to herself. Mara realized that she had left
the dinner party without saying a word to the Solos or even to her date,
Talon Karrde. She stepped into a turbolift and groaned inwardly when
Skywalker dashed into the lift before the doors closed behind him.
Mara glared silently at the Jedi, hoping that her eyes did not betray her
with the telltale moisture. Luke regarded her silently, waiting for her to
speak. Finally he said, "I know Leia sometimes goes a little overboard with
the spices, but I though your experienced palate could handle the heat." His
voice had a mildly humorous tone, but his eyes never strayed from her face.
"I'm surprised you're not still pressed up against the princess." Mara spat
out vehemently.
Luke's face grew warm and he replied, "I'm not interested in her. Besides,
what would it matter to you anyway? Aren't two men enough for you?"
Mara glared at him, but had the grace to be embarrassed as well. She spat
angrily, "Karrde and Terren are none of your concern."
"Why not? I thought we were friends," Luke said.
"If we're such good friends, why didn't you tell me you were going to marry
your princess?"
It was Luke's turn to be confused about her comments. "What? Marry her?
You're wrong Mara. That was a mistake." Luke's eyes were wide.
"Oh come on, Luke. I've heard about how close you've grown throughout the
past days. The King practically announced your engagement at the dinner, and
she's more than admitted that you've grown close. That scene on the balcony
just confirmed it."
"That might be what she wants, but I'm not marrying Tarrintha. I have no
interest in her."
"No interest?" Mara sneered "Pulling a girl close is certainly a strange way
to show a girl that you're not interested."
The moment the turbolift doors opened, Mara stepped out. After they exited
the lift, Luke blocked her path.
"Get out of my way, Skywalker." She pushed him back.
Luke stumbled away and asked, "No, listen to me. I'm not going to marry the
princess, Mara. I don't love her."
Mara sputtered and then said, "I don't believe you."
"Oh, so now you don't believe me yet you can trust that Terren Macay?"
Mara's eyes narrowed in warning. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I don't trust that guy," he admitted to her.
Mara raising her hackles the moment Luke assumed his protective role again.
Thrusting her finger right under his nose, she growled, "Stay out of my
life, Jedi. I'm old enough to make my own decisions."
"But not wise enough to see lies even in yourself," Luke replied honestly.
A cold chill coursed through her, freezing her in place.
For a very long moment, they both glared at each other, debating if she
wanted to hit him or kiss him Luke said, "And what about Karrde? Why did you
walk out of that party, leaving him behind if you care so much for him?"
Mara dropped her gaze and then shrugged, "I know that Talon and I won't
work. I just haven't figured out a way to let him know without ruining our
friendship. He means a lot to me, Luke I don't want to lose him."
"I'll always be there for you, Mara." Talon's voice said from behind them.
Mara whirled around, flushing. Talon stepped free of the turbolift to join
them on the outer platform.
"I'm sorry, Talon."
"Don't be. You've already tried telling me. I've just been too stubborn to
listen. I was hoping . . but that doesn't matter now."
His shrewd gaze went from Mara's face to Luke's and he asked pointedly,
"I'll not stand in your way anymore. I know you've in love, just not with
me. I've always had this strange notion of wanting to have the woman in my
life give her heart to me."
Mara started to shake her head.
"It's all right, Mara," Talon asserted. "I know you love Terren."
He was baiting her, Karrde knew full well that Mara did not know her own
heart and he was sure that her feeling went pretty deep for a certain Jedi
Master. Karrde cared for her deeply and decided it was time that Mara was no
longer in the dark about her own feelings.
Mara gazed at Karrde, remaining silent, as if considering whether to open
her heart to them or not. Then the moment was gone, "You are both wrong!"
she denied adamantly. "I'm not in love. Period. Please make my apologies to
Organa-Solo and tell your princess." She made the title into an insult,
"that I'll arrange for a representative to see to the details of our
arrangement."
Mara turned on her heel and walked quickly away.
Talon watched the various emotions cross the Jedi's face, exchanged a
bemused and understanding gaze with him, then before he could prompt the
younger man to go after Jade, Luke pulled himself together.
"Mara! Wait," Luke called as he ran after the angry young woman.
Smiling knowingly, the smuggler quietly slipped away, retuning to the party
to do damage control while giving some privacy to the two Jedi.
As he re-entered the waiting lift, Karrde was surprised to find that he
really wasn't hurt by Mara's rejection. She cared for him still and they had
their friendship. Someday, he'd find true love, just not today, and in the
meantime, he hoped his two friends would finally talk about their feelings
for one another.
Mara was running now, intent on losing Skywalker. She was within sight of
her door; she noticed that someone was waiting just outside of it. It was
Terren. Luke closed the distance between them. Seeing the Jedi right behind
her, Mara reached out with the Force and opened her door. She pushed Terren
inside, then slammed the door shut behind them.
On the other side of the door, Luke barely kept himself from ramming nose
first into the closed door. "Mara, please," he tried to open communication
with her again. "We have to talk about this."
*Why? I don't think it's necessary and I don't want to,* she sent him while
she pulled her other companion to herself and kissed him.
As she expected, her Jedi friend balked away and withdrew. The moment that
Luke was gone, she pulled away from Terren and turned her back to him.
"Hey, that was a nice opening, but not nearly enough after a few hours
of---"
"Cut it out, Terren," she warned him, then freed her hair from her simple
bonds. "I don't want to see anyone at the moment."
"Then you shouldn't have shoved me inside," the other began languorously.
She silently warned him away, then, when the other failed to back away, she
reached out with the Force and called her nearby lightsaber to her hand. She
turned it on with a snap-hiss waving it a mere inch away from the man's
face.
"Get out, or you won't like the consequences," she warned, glaring at him
from under her eyelashes.
She expected the man to argue, to try and arrange for a next meeting with
her, but instead, he just nodded in a way that reminded her of his imperial
background. He swiveled on his heel in a precise movement and left her
alone.
Once her apartment was empty, she turned the weapon off, dropped the hilt on
the nearby couch, then joined it and sunk into the deep cushions.
Luke was right, she admitted to herself. She was lying to herself about
Terren. There was no point in pursuing a relationship with him. It was over
years ago. She tried to remember what it was that had attracted her about
the man and when she tried to recall his features, Skywalker's face hovered
into view. He was so infuriating sometimes. He made her feel so angry, he
made her feel confused, he made her feel... period. She was more alive with
him than with anyone else she knew.
Why was that, she wondered?
******
Back at his apartment, Luke walked to the railing and peered out over the
city below. His mind raced with the implications. He recalled Mara's pain
when she had witnessed the kiss followed by her seemingly jealous behavior.
Luke wondered, Could she really love him? Luke Skywalker? He always managed
to make her angry, they bickered constantly. How had this happened? Could it
be? Could she really feel about him like he did about her? And how had he
failed to notice?
He heard Talon's voice in his head asserting that Mara was in love and her
insistence that she did not harbor deep feelings for anybody.
As he pondered his relationship with his friend, it never occurred once to
him to return to the dinner party or to his date, Tarrintha Goule.
******
Hours later, after changing clothes and going for a long, soul searching
walk, Mara sat cross legged on a raised dais in a long forgotten, which was
hidden deep within the old Imperial Palace. She gazed for a moment at the
empty throne, wondering if she would be happier if the Emperor still
occupied it. Probably not, but at times like these when she would have liked
to turn to a family member, she sometimes ended up here.
As dark as the Emperor was, he was the closest thing she had to a father.
She might have normally gone to Skywalker, but since she had no intention of
discussing her recent feeling for the Jedi with him, that was out of the
question.
This was by no means the main Imperial throne room. However, unbeknown to
his enemies, the Emperor had many antechambers, still undiscovered by the
New Republic. The dark side presence lingered faintly even in this lesser
chamber. Mara was immune from the damaging effects that might have bothered
other force sensitive individuals, having lived in its shadow for so many
years.
She hadn't been here for at least a year. Mara tried to pin down what had
driven her subconscious to seek this dour room's dubious solace. Was it
because of Terren Macay's reappearance in her life? She had once sat beside
him in this very spot at the Emperor's feet. She remembered the growing
closeness between them. He had been a light in her dark world. The light
still burned, but somehow did not seem so bright. She snorted at herself.
She was becoming poetic, but her thoughts continued to focus on this image.
Who was her bright light? Was it Talon Karrde? No. He was one of the many
stars in the sky, but certainly not the sun. Instead, her mind settled on
Skywalker. He was the one person in all the galaxy that she really believed
in, the only one who made her 'feel'. The combination of supremely capable
Jedi Master with his farm boy honesty and humility balanced perfectly,
making the ideal man. Ideal? Skywalker? She almost laughed at the thought,
but couldn't. She knew it was what she truly believed when she allowed her
thoughts free reign in the privacy of this forgotten chamber.
From the moment she met him, she had been unable to kill him. There was just
something that seemed somehow wrong about fulfilling the Emperor's command.
Never before had she failed to fulfill any assignment for her former master.
It would be easy to believe that it had been the passage of time since his
death that had dulled her need to complete her assignment, but she knew that
was a lie. Mara Jade just could not kill Luke Skywalker. Something deep
within her rebelled a the very thought. Instead, she had saved his life on
many occasions.
"Mara Jade failed, and the Jedi is too dangerous to keep alive. I will kill
Luke Skywalker." A voice echoed throughout the chamber.
Mara froze. Her entire body became as cold as ice. The only thing that moved
was the thudding of her heart. She reached out with her mind, but could not
find the Emperor's presence. Just the familiar echo of his former power
resonated in the room. Mara searched the room looking for the one who had
spoken those words.
"He will die when the Seismic Accelerator destroys the heart of this
insurrection, as will most of Coruscant." The hauntingly familiar voice
continued.
There, down below on the lower level two figures stood cloaked in shadow.
Mara remained still, realizing that her presence had gone unnoticed.
"Of course, my dear Commander," a familiar feminine voice cooed. The shadow
slid up to the taller of the two and wrapped her arms around the other. As
she moved forward, a low light illuminated her face and Mara suppressed a
gasp. It was Tarrintha Goule.
The couple kissed passionately and a small pang of sympathy speared through
Mara. Poor Luke. He had awful luck with women. But at the same time Mara
could not help but be somewhat relieved at this development. There would be
no way Luke would stay with Tarrintha once he learned of her betrayal.
Unless he got it in his head to save her, like he tried to save the rest of
the universe.
Mara was an unwilling spectator as the two lovers continued to embrace. If
she moved, she would draw attention to her location. Mara was intent on
fully exploiting the potential of learning more intelligence on this threat
to both Skywalker and to Coruscant. She tried to figure out who Tarrintha
was kissing. She vaguely remembered an aide that was always near her that
seemed to be about the same height. She would have to investigate him
further.
The couple pulled away, the man was still in shadow, his back to Mara. "You
will have to leave soon before the planetary shields are up."
"What about you?" Tarrintha asked.
"I can take care of myself."
"But aren't you going to be at the epicenter?" she asked, the perfect
picture of concern.
"Don't worry, my dear. I'll be far away from the Bothan embassy."
They began to kiss again, and Mara rolled her eyes. Sith, they were evil,
she thought as she was forced to watch another display of passion. Yet, at
the same time, she felt a great relief flood her as she realized that the
woman had not had any real interest in her Jedi friend either.
It wasn't long before they broke apart and left the chamber. Mara waited to
gain some distance between her and the couple and then hurried away to warn
Skywalker. She hoped she could get to him in time.
TBC in part 5
Written 2003 (Rhea and SJ)
