From the File Cabinet of Artemis Fowl
-* Chapter 2: the Second Set of Speerings *-
(A.N: "speerings" is another word for "news")
No more luck with the first file I've discovered thus far, so I have moved on to the second folder and a much better hotel.
This one is just about empty. It contains a one-liner written on a piece of paper, and a plastic bag full of powdered vanilla cake mix and rainbow sprinkles. What they have to do with one another, I'll never know. The one-liner is as follows:
I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
The bag with the vanilla cake mix also has a piece of paper in it with a recipe on it for something called "Vanilla Insult". It's very strange. I will post it here: Ingredients: 2 and ½ teaspoons cold water, powdered vanilla cake mix, tiny round sprinkles, random one-liner from any source excluding yourself Preparation directions: 1)Pour cake mix into small bowl.2)Add enough sprinkles to the top of it to thickly cover the powder.3)Pour in water and stir until mix is a thick but not gooey paste. If paste is gooey, add more water.4) Pour mixture into cupcake pan. One with small-sized cupcake holders are preferable.5) Follow directions in another cookbook on how to make cupcakes for baking.6)When ¼ of the way through the baking process, quickly take the pan out, spit into the cupcakes you plan to give to the one you wish to insult, and shred the one-liner into tiny pieces and add to the ones you have spat on. Put back into oven and bake for the total time(example: if recipe calls for 20 minutes, stop after 5. Then place back into oven for the whole 20 minutes).7)Cool for 5 minutes.8) Serve to the insulted-to-be.
This sounds delicious, but I wouldn't like to eat one unless I make it myself, and skip through the sixth direction. That way, I wouldn't end up insulting myself or others.
Aha! I have just found out something about Artemis Fowl! He has it in for someone! I wonder who that may be.?
Well, I had better depart, since I am hiding inside a very thin coat rack tube in a dental office, and my buttocks are beginning to get sore. I shall try to find a comfortable place to stay the night and try to figure out what the first file has to do with. Farewell till then! *clattering sound is heard* Ouch! Stupid infernal metal pole.
No more luck with the first file I've discovered thus far, so I have moved on to the second folder and a much better hotel.
This one is just about empty. It contains a one-liner written on a piece of paper, and a plastic bag full of powdered vanilla cake mix and rainbow sprinkles. What they have to do with one another, I'll never know. The one-liner is as follows:
I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
The bag with the vanilla cake mix also has a piece of paper in it with a recipe on it for something called "Vanilla Insult". It's very strange. I will post it here: Ingredients: 2 and ½ teaspoons cold water, powdered vanilla cake mix, tiny round sprinkles, random one-liner from any source excluding yourself Preparation directions: 1)Pour cake mix into small bowl.2)Add enough sprinkles to the top of it to thickly cover the powder.3)Pour in water and stir until mix is a thick but not gooey paste. If paste is gooey, add more water.4) Pour mixture into cupcake pan. One with small-sized cupcake holders are preferable.5) Follow directions in another cookbook on how to make cupcakes for baking.6)When ¼ of the way through the baking process, quickly take the pan out, spit into the cupcakes you plan to give to the one you wish to insult, and shred the one-liner into tiny pieces and add to the ones you have spat on. Put back into oven and bake for the total time(example: if recipe calls for 20 minutes, stop after 5. Then place back into oven for the whole 20 minutes).7)Cool for 5 minutes.8) Serve to the insulted-to-be.
This sounds delicious, but I wouldn't like to eat one unless I make it myself, and skip through the sixth direction. That way, I wouldn't end up insulting myself or others.
Aha! I have just found out something about Artemis Fowl! He has it in for someone! I wonder who that may be.?
Well, I had better depart, since I am hiding inside a very thin coat rack tube in a dental office, and my buttocks are beginning to get sore. I shall try to find a comfortable place to stay the night and try to figure out what the first file has to do with. Farewell till then! *clattering sound is heard* Ouch! Stupid infernal metal pole.
