Confessions

"Sydney?" His voice sounded groggy and his eyes were crusty and closed. It would have been pretty gross if it had been anyone else. But this was Michael. That made it endearing. "Are you okay?"

She smiled. "Stop worrying about me so much, Vaughn. I'm a big girl."

He rubbed his eyes and opened them, only to close them again when he realized just how bright the sunlight was. He cleared his throat.

"It's my job to worry about you, Syd." And I would do it even if I weren't. I know you're not ready to admit it yet but I know you need me. You need me as much as I need you. Under that strong girl façade, you're still fragile. You showed me that last night and I understand. Damn. That sounded so good in his head. But he knew that if he said that out loud, he would look like an asinine fool.

He took a breath. He could make a fool of himself. God knew that she wouldn't rub it in too much, especially because she had bared her own soul to him.

"Sydney, I know you're a big girl and that you are well trained in the taking care of other people and yourself area. But what about you mentally? You are one of the most controlled people I know. But everyone has to break down at least a little sometime in his or her life.

"And when that happens, someone has to be there to break their fall and boost them back up." His voice was no longer gravelly. He was fully awake, hair tousled, shirt rumpled and all.

He looked deeply into her eyes and cupped her elbow with one hand and her chin with the other. He knew she would look away and he was not letting her have an out this time. After he said everything he planned to say, she could leave. She could stay mad at him forever. He was willing to pay the consequences but he couldn't hide his feelings anymore.

"Syd." He choked up. But he went valiantly on. "Syd, I want to be that person for you. I know that you said that you don't reciprocate my feelings but last night... I don't know. I don't think you were telling me the truth. And I realize that your intentions were good but I just can't stand the idea of you ever lying to me.

"You are the one person who is honest despite her environment. Sydney, you amaze me. Everyday, you thrust yourself into danger and all sorts of sin yet you manage to some back exactly the same hero you were before. And before yesterday, I thought you were indestructible. And I think that's why I let you run away from what you told me.

"I know you said that you said all those things in the passing moment, that everything you said was literal. That you knew what I smelled like because you spent so much time with me. But before then, you said that you felt the same way about me as I did about you."

Vaughn felt urgency take control of his voice. He kept looking into Sydney's eyes. They didn't react at all but she didn't move her face from his hand so he continued.

"And you said I smelled like Home. And Spring. Those are so... vague. And personal. I let you walk away from me twice last night Syd. That was because I thought that was what you wanted and God knows I'm not the kind of man who makes a woman do what she doesn't want to do. But last night, you needed me.

"You needed me for the pin, you needed me for the picture, and you needed me to guard you from whatever chased you last night. And I guess any other guy might feel used. But I feel more complete than I have ever felt in my life. Let me be the guy, Syd. Please. Somehow.

"I know it's going to be hard, I know it's frowned on, I know I'm breaching protocol. But I feel like... I'm in a one sided relationship. Because of that stupid slip up last night, you know how I feel about you. And even if you hadn't figured it out, you know now. I think that I might've been able to let you go and convince myself that this never happened. But then, 5 minutes ago, you were in my arms. You WOKE UP in MY arms. And I woke up seeing your smiling face above mine and I know that life is never going to be the same.

"For months now, you have been the last thing I remember when I got to sleep. You haunt my dreams, tease my emotions, and are my best friend. When you come to me for comfort or even when you just smile at me. . . Sydney, I am hopelessly in love with you."