Confessions
"Sydney?" His voice sounded groggy and his eyes were crusty and
closed. It would have been pretty gross if it had been anyone else. But this
was Michael. That made it endearing. "Are you okay?"
She smiled. "Stop worrying about me so much, Vaughn. I'm a big girl."
He rubbed his eyes and opened them, only to close them again when he realized
just how bright the sunlight was. He cleared his throat.
"It's my job to worry about you, Syd." And I would do it even if I
weren't. I know you're not ready to admit it yet but I know you need me. You
need me as much as I need you. Under that strong girl façade, you're still
fragile. You showed me that last night and I understand. Damn. That sounded
so good in his head. But he knew that if he said that out loud, he would look
like an asinine fool.
He took a breath. He could make a fool of himself. God knew that she wouldn't
rub it in too much, especially because she had bared her own soul to him.
"Sydney, I know you're a big girl and that you are well trained in the
taking care of other people and yourself area. But what about you mentally? You
are one of the most controlled people I know. But everyone has to break down at
least a little sometime in his or her life.
"And when that happens, someone has to be there to break their fall and boost
them back up." His voice was no longer gravelly. He was fully awake, hair
tousled, shirt rumpled and all.
He looked deeply into her eyes and cupped her elbow with one hand and her chin
with the other. He knew she would look away and he was not letting her have an
out this time. After he said everything he planned to say, she could leave. She
could stay mad at him forever. He was willing to pay the consequences but he
couldn't hide his feelings anymore.
"Syd." He choked up. But he went valiantly on. "Syd, I want to
be that person for you. I know that you said that you don't reciprocate my
feelings but last night... I don't know. I don't think you were telling me the
truth. And I realize that your intentions were good but I just can't stand the
idea of you ever lying to me.
"You are the one person who is honest despite her environment. Sydney, you
amaze me. Everyday, you thrust yourself into danger and all sorts of sin yet
you manage to some back exactly the same hero you were before. And before
yesterday, I thought you were indestructible. And I think that's why I let you
run away from what you told me.
"I know you said that you said all those things in the passing moment, that
everything you said was literal. That you knew what I smelled like because you
spent so much time with me. But before then, you said that you felt the same
way about me as I did about you."
Vaughn felt urgency take control of his voice. He kept looking into Sydney's
eyes. They didn't react at all but she didn't move her face from his hand so he
continued.
"And you said I smelled like Home. And Spring. Those are so... vague. And
personal. I let you walk away from me twice last night Syd. That was because I
thought that was what you wanted and God knows I'm not the kind of man who
makes a woman do what she doesn't want to do. But last night, you needed
me.
"You needed me for the pin, you needed me for the picture, and you needed me to
guard you from whatever chased you last night. And I guess any other guy might
feel used. But I feel more complete than I have ever felt in my life. Let me be
the guy, Syd. Please. Somehow.
"I know it's going to be hard, I know it's frowned on, I know I'm breaching
protocol. But I feel like... I'm in a one sided relationship. Because of that
stupid slip up last night, you know how I feel about you. And even if you
hadn't figured it out, you know now. I think that I might've been able to let
you go and convince myself that this never happened. But then, 5 minutes ago, you
were in my arms. You WOKE UP in MY arms. And I woke up seeing your smiling face
above mine and I know that life is never going to be the same.
"For months now, you have been the last thing I remember when I got to sleep.
You haunt my dreams, tease my emotions, and are my best friend. When you come
to me for comfort or even when you just smile at me. . . Sydney, I am
hopelessly in love with you."
