AN: This one is a little short, but I needed to end it where I did. Sorry! ;) Review anyway, so that I know you're still there…
Regression
~Orion In the Sky~
But I love you baby
And I know you and I
Can find a way to heaven
Just like Orion in the sky
He's the long lost hero
He's the guardian of your son
But can he protect us baby
From all the sad things we've done
Charles raised his hand to his face, shielding his eyes from the harsh desert sun. His eyes scanned the empty road that lay ahead of him. For a moment, a wave of panic flowed through him; he couldn't see where Chandler had gone. A million horrible thoughts went through his head—he was only eleven years old; anything could've happened in those few precious minutes that Charles had hesitated back in the kitchen. Charles took a ragged breath, and scanned the desert again.
He appeared, like a mirage, a few short yards away. He was standing on the other side of a Joshua tree, his back to the house.
Charles took another deep breath, and walked toward his son. He was hesitant about his approach, unsure about how Chandler would react to him.
For a moment, Charles stood behind Chandler, studying his back silently. The boy was slight; too thin for his age and frame. His head sat stiffly on hunched shoulders, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He looked as if he had the entire weight of the world on his tiny shoulders. It was killing Charles that he didn't know what was going on with his own son.
But then, it was really his own fault; he never really took it upon himself to get to know Chandler. He was so consumed with his own problems; his coming out, his divorce, his move to Las Vegas.
How could he have let down his only son so terribly?
"Chandler?" Charles kept his voice low and soft, but it didn't prevent Chandler from starting.
Chandler didn't turn around; he continued to stare blankly at the horizon in front of him.
"Son, please talk to me. Please," Charles begged, as his throat tightened, and his eyes watered. He blinked back the tears, and tried to swallow down the lump.
Suddenly, Chandler turned to look up at his father, and Charles was taken aback.
Chandler's eyes were filled with what could only be described as an unsettling combination of anger, hopelessness, and fear. Charles could no longer fight his own emotions; he broke down, and was startled by his son's complete lack of emotion in that moment.
"It's over," Chandler suddenly whispered, and walked past his father, as Charles fell to his knees in tears.
Charles was overwhelmed with guilt, and now, with rejection. Charles didn't know exactly what Chandler had meant with his words, but Charles could only assume that his son wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Unsure what to do next, Charles simply sat on the desert floor, reeling from his loss.
Present
One Week Later
The Day Before Nora's Arraignment
"Hey, Chandler," Phoebe smiled, as she walked into Monica's apartment.
"Hey Pheebs," Chandler replied softly.
"You okay?" Phoebe walked into the living room, and sat down on the sofa next to Chandler.
"Yeah, I'm just tired," Chandler smiled stiffly, and ran a nervous hand through his hair.
"Where's Monica?"
"At work. She should be home in about an hour."
"Your mom's arraignment is tomorrow?"
"Yeah," Chandler nodded sadly, and looked down at his hands.
"Is Harold gonna be there?"
"I think so," Chandler shrugged.
"Have you…ya know, seen him yet?"
"No," Chandler whispered distractedly.
"So, can, um, can I tell you something?" Phoebe asked hesitantly.
"Sure," Chandler snapped out of his daze, and looked at Phoebe.
"I just…I wanted you to know that I think you are really strong. I know that I, ya know, make jokes about you and Ross and stuff, but…I just don't think anyone else would have handled themselves so well. Certainly not Ross," Phoebe laughed.
"I—thanks Pheebs, that means a lot to me," Chandler smiled sincerely.
"I—I wanted to tell you about something that happened to me, when I was on the street," Phoebe looked at her hands, and began to fidget with the seam of her shirt.
"Okay," Chandler nodded, and turned his body so that he was fully facing Phoebe.
"So, when I was living out on the street, a lot of times, men would try to, ya know, proposition me. And I mean, they would always just take 'no' for an answer, and run off all embarrassed," Phoebe shrugged, "But this one time, this guy tried to force me to…and when I wouldn't he kind of kicked me, and…anyway, I got lucky, because a cop was walking by, and heard me yelling, and he pulled the guy off before he could do anything."
"God, Phoebe, I had no idea," Chandler placed his hand on Phoebe's shoulder.
"I mean, it was nothing compared to what you went through, but…when the police asked me if I wanted to press charges, I just kind of froze. And—and then I thought about how this guy was probably some rich business man, and I was just some homeless girl, and that if I pressed charges, then I would have to see him again, and I just—I never wanted to see his face again! So I didn't press charges, and I look back on it now, and I think, how could I have done that? What if that guy did that to some other girl? And what if there was no one there to stop him next time? And I just hated myself for being so weak. And then I look at you, and I see how what happened to you was like, a million times worse, and you are facing this, and you are going to be okay—" Tears slid down Phoebe's cheeks, and she hiccupped as the onslaught continued down her face, smearing her mascara, and making her look older, and very tired. Chandler had a feeling that she had never revealed this incident to anyone before now.
He grabbed a tissue from the end table, and handed it to Phoebe, before pulling her into a hug.
"If I am gonna be okay, Pheebs, it's only because I have you guys," Chandler whispered into Phoebe's trembling shoulder.
Phoebe sniffled loudly, and Chandler continued.
"Pheebs, I think you are one of the strongest people I've ever met. And I am scared to death about what I have to do tomorrow. I never want to see him again. But I'll do it for my Mom. She needs me, just like I need her, and you guys. I don't think what you did was weak Pheebs. I think anyone would have done the same thing, especially if they had no support system. The fact that you survived out there on your own is a testament to how tough and courageous you are."
Phoebe sniffed, and pulled away from Chandler to wipe her eyes. She smiled and looked up at her friend.
"You know, I'm supposed to be making you feel better, not the other way around."
"I do feel better," Chandler assured her, and pulled her into another hug.
"Thank you," Phoebe whispered.
"No problem," Chandler smiled, and kissed Phoebe's temple.
They pulled back, and looked at each other for a long moment.
"Don't tell anyone, kay?" Phoebe smiled sheepishly.
"You have my word," Chandler replied softly.
Nora looked over at Chandler, as he sat stoically in his seat. She wasn't sure what had happened, but something had changed in her son since the incident that morning.
Nora, Harold and Chandler were on their way back to New York. The airplane was only half full, and Chandler had insisted that he sit in a different row from his mother and Harold.
Chandler had stormed back into the house that morning, and demanded that they leave Las Vegas. He'd said nothing else the rest of the day, and continued to stay silent up until the trio had boarded the airplane.
Charles had come back into the house twenty minutes after Chandler had, looking worn and deflated. When Nora told Charles that Chandler wanted to go back to New York, Charles had flatly replied that he thought it was best.
And now Nora sat on the airplane, her head swimming in confusion. Her son had turned into a bitter, angry little boy, in a matter of hours, and she had no idea what to do about it.
It just kept getting worse.
Maybe somewhere in the southern hemisphere
There could be room for all this love
Where they've saved a place for innocence
And what is still mysterious
And their dreaming time
They're dreaming time
Because we've broken down the wilderness
And we've blackened up the skies
And we cry 'cause we've got no vision left
While the smoke gets in our eyes
And there's no more time
And the dream is dying
But I love you baby
And I know you and I
Can find a way to heaven
Just like Orion in the sky
He's the long lost hero
He's the guardian of your son
But can he protect us baby
From all the sad things we've done
Now I know there's no sense in hiding
And we can't escape this war
And I have made my peace with dying
Down here on this killing floor
In a world gone blind
Where there's no more time
But I love you baby
And I know by and by
We gonna find a way to heaven
Just like Orion in the sky
He can walk upon the water
He can shine for everyone
But can he protect us baby
From all the sad things we've done
Is it too much to ask in a lifetime
For just one shot at happiness
Do you just have to laugh at the right lines
Until you come face to face
With the looking glass
To be reckoned with the sins of our time
I love you baby
I can see you and I
As we fly away together
Up to Orion in the sky
He's the last of the fallen angels
He's the light of the Southern Cross
Maybe he can take us baby
Back to the paradise we've lost
So I'll see you darlin'
Now fly baby, fly
Down across the Fiji Islands
To where the Seven Sisters cry
Gather all your dreams and take them
Somewhere so far out of reach
Follow the sword of the hunter, baby
And meet me on the beach
We are forever tied
Still on the run
To the medicine man
For all the sad, sad things
We've done
(Orion in the Sky, by S. Colvin - L. Klein)
