Okay, M and Secret Agent Girl and Colly E and Dream Writer
4 Life are definitely on my favorite people list just because you guys inflate
my ego until it basically doesn't fit in the room anymore. Well… you guys and
every other person who reviews me and gives me nice things to read and blow my
head up with…
(Andi, donatellaMarks, Samantha, ReeCee, blondechia, bluebabe19,
sweetheartb…etc)… To think that there was a time when I could basically list
the people who read my fic in about 5 seconds… (Wanlorn, Rpgirl…)
I just wanted to thank you all for giving me the confidence that I didn't need
but have now and for helping me improve my writing SOOOO much (I look at past
chapters now and cringe… and then thank you for sticking with it through the
rough and bumpy patches).
So this one is truly dedicated to all of you who put up with me and write nice and/or constructive reviews; the ones that I've actually become friends with through this weird ALIAS network and the ones who read me anyway :) It's always nice to e-mail someone I never knew before and now know through ff.net
Now I'm getting all weird and sentimental… and I'm supposed to be studying for German and French. Crap.
Anyway, the only things I'm worried about are:
1) Now that Syd and Vaughn are together, there's only one
way they can go… and if the writers tear them apart or make it a love triangle,
I'm going to rip them apart
2) Now that Francie is "gone", Syd has no more ties to the normal world
basically because Will works for CIA too…
3) Sloane knows that she and her father are doubles so now what?
4) I MISSED THE FIRST HALF OF THE EP BECAUSE SOMEONE SCREWED UP MY VCR!!!!!
5) Where does Irina fit in in all of this??????
Finally: Thanks to all of you who wished me luck with finals, at the moment,
there's still four left but by the time I post this, they might be done
already. And then there's a FOUR DAY WEEKEND so either expect a long, juicy
chapter or two updates :)
Left: French 3, German 3, Western Civilization, Chemistry
Done: Math and English 2
P.S. Thanks Elizabeth for your review; I am truly honored to be the only
author to get one :)
Okay, I'm done. Here's 31.
31.
He knew his pager was vibrating before he even opened his eyes. It was strange
how, after 7 years of having it basically be another body part, he knew when it
went off. And it was the first time he didn't reach for it right away.
First he peeled open his eyes slowly, letting the light seep through to his
tired eyes and then smiling softly at the figure laying beside him. He stood
still for a minute, listening to the silence, hoping that it would stop
vibrating.
But it went off again. In one long movement, he disentangled his arms from
Sydney's and rolled over to where his pants lay in a rumpled heap beside the
bed. He checked the number. Jack.
He sighed and picked up the cell phone from the bed stand. "Jack."
"Jack? It's Mi- Vaughn."
"I need you to come in right now. No questions asked. Take down this address, I
need to see you there in ten minutes."
He knew better to question and so did what he was told.
Hanging up the phone, he rolled out of bed and pulled on his pants from the day
before. If this was so urgent, surely Jack wouldn't notice. All his pants
looked the same anyway. He bent over to kiss Sydney's forehead and he saw her
smile a little before she buried herself under the covers once more.
It had been risky, coming together when she was under the most scrutiny, when
she was supposedly in love with Danny. Now that they knew who Michael Vaughn
was.
But it had rained last night. And she had come to the door soaked to the bone,
shivering; her face hot from her tears. And she had assured him that she had
been careful. That she hadn't been tailed. She had assured him right into bed.
He should have been stronger. But the wiles of Sydney Bristow were the one
thing he couldn't barricade himself against.
Danny took so much out of her. And though he knew he shouldn't be, he was
jealous. Though Sydney was pretending, she was too real. And the fact that
Danny got her at her vibrancy only made him feel worse; as if he received the
leftovers.
Stop thinking that way. Sydney is not a "leftover". She gets tired. People
get tired. God damn it, for once think of somebody other than yourself. She
needs you right now so be there.
~:~
The road was dusty and Vaughn immediately knew why Jack had chosen this place.
If he couldn't even see Jack, then no one else could. He entered the lone shack that stood in the
middle of the blowing wind and the tumbling balls of dust; surprisingly strong
for it's weak craftsmanship.
Jack stood there, intimidatingly large in the small space, wearing black gloves
and holding a very small vial.
"This is Bendolyne Pentaoxide. It will be used to kill Daniel Hecht in 11
days."
~:~
"There's something… odd about you."
Sydney shook her head. "Everything's fine, mom."
Irina peered at her daughter through the sheen of the glass, "You look tired.
Worn down. Have you been getting enough sleep?"
She smiled, a little sheepish. "The hours have been shorter but… life has
gotten more complicated. If that's even possible."
Irina nodded. "I know. Your father told me."
Sydney looked up. "Dad talked to you about me?"
She hesitated, not sure how much she should say. She cleared her throat. "He
updated me on your situation."
"Then you know about Vaughn."
"Sydney, I knew about you and Agent Vaughn before you knew about him.
But he hasn't been the only one keeping you awake."
Sydney sobered. "It's weird having Danny back in my life. I'm so used to having
things go a certain way and now that everything's different, it feels as if my
life has turned upside down," she leaned her forehead on the glass, speaking
quietly to her mother so that no one else could here. "I love Michael, mom. I
really, truly do. He knows everything about me and loves me for exactly who I
am. But I associated love with Danny for so many years that I always feel
guilty for feeling the way I do. I feel like I should love him too."
"But you don't. That's the important thing."
"Yes. And I don't want to love him. That would make things even more
complicated. But I feel like I should. Like some conscience that just keeps
tugging away at me, always dragging me down. Because… sometimes, when he looks
at me, I can literally see the love just coming out of his eyes.
"He knew everything. He knew the entire truth and he saw and heard everything
himself. Yet he trusted my word over his own senses. What do you call that kind
of love, mom? How can someone trust another person so implicitly? How
does one react to it?"
"I wouldn't know. I never had anyone love me in that way-" She paused at the
look on Sydney's face. "Oh, your father loved me and you loved me. I know that.
But the love that you describe; it's something rare. But don't steer yourself
off course. Not everything that is rare is good."
Sydney didn't answer.
"Do you hear me? Don't go looking for something that you already have. Michael
loves you. And you love him back; it's a done deal so stop worrying about
Hecht."
"It's not that easy," her voice was soft, "I'm not falling in love with him.
When I'm with him, I even despise him. It's just that… I loved him. I really
did." Sydney felt the tears creep up to her eyes. "I hate myself for not loving
him. And then I just feel like I don't deserve anybody. Why does Michael want
someone like me?"
"Don't start pitying yourself. That's an emotion that is completely useless so
why waste your energy? You've moved on and Daniel Hecht is an obstacle that you
must get through. If you and Michael truly love each other, you will come to
see that.
"In time."
Irina watched her daughter lean heavily against the glass. She was different in
the way she carried herself; as if she carried the world on her shoulders. Don't
fall in love again my love; you will only love to lose and this time, it will
be real. Save yourself the pain and stay with the one you were meant to be
with.
"How much time?"
"As much time as it takes for you to open your eyes and see the truth that
everyone else can already see."
~:~
Roses. There were roses.
Filling the entire room. From… someone… the one she was engaged to.
No. She's not engaged to anyone. She told me she wasn't engaged to anyone.
She was wearing a ring.
That was the ring I gave her.
No, it was different. And she said that he loved her more than I did. That he
would do anything for her. That he would die for her.
She was here yesterday. She told me that there was no other guy. She had my
engagement ring.
She's protecting him.
NO. She loves me. She has always loved me. I see it. The way she looks at me as
if she's trying to memorize every detail of my face. The way she smiles even
when I'm not talking. There is no other guy.
Don't be an idiot. She has spent nearly her entire life lying. Why would she
begin to tell the truth now? She didn't expect you when you came and that was
when she was real. Now she has had time to compose herself and that's who she's
pretending to be.
She's protecting the other guy… because that's who she loves.
She loves someone else.
No, she loves me. Or she will love me. She needs time. Maybe she was engaged
but she found out that she loved me better.
She would've told me. Instead, she made it sound like I made it up. But I
didn't make it up. I remember.
I cut the roses. And then I stopped. And then I wrote her the letter.
Could the letter have changed her mind? No, she didn't mention it. What
happened then?
No I left and then I came back here and then she came back to me.
If only that were true.
TBC…
I'm still unsure whether or not I should keep Danny unsuspecting and good or good-turned-evil.
That's okay, either way works.
Review~
-Jenn
