An Undefinable Sweetness

A LOT of dedications because it's my thing and I want to:

speedy: thanks… it's really nice to know that there are moments when you don't have to be as insecure and weirded out about things like I am~ (Hey, when this one's done, you will have to keep track of one less fic~ lol)

Andi Horton: Whoa, I really liked your "It's over. It's done. It's good" sentence… I actually thought about ways I could incorporate that somehow into the next chap… but then I realized that tomorrow I have 4 tests and I probably should study instead…

Yostamaca: Don't be so surprised, I've wanted to mention you for awhile I just kept on forgetting (stupid brain with its short term memory!) Omg your review made me laugh so hard… and I was in the library and the lady looked at me like I was crazy but that's okay too. That's so cool that "Jennfic" is actually being used by like 3 people…. I feel like I created my own word or something ;) (whoa.. how much space are you taking up on your comp for my fics????!?!?!?!? That's amazing… AUS alone is like 200 pages or something…)

Chele: Believe me when I say I understand, my comps are crap too… I write my fic on one, transfer to another, disk it to another and that's the story of my life.

Ryanne: You are always so enthusiastic, it's great. I'm glad that my little (not so little?) fic is continually meeting your standards.

Secret Agent Girl: I sooo missed talking to you these last coupla days! I'm glad you liked the chap, HOPING TO SEE ONE OF YOURS SOON (ahem… put on your glasses)… GUESS WHAT???? I'm going to the zoo on Wednesday ahahahahahaahahah (no seriously).

freedoms: thanks so much~ I love being unpredictable ;) I'm glad that you like the story and continue to like it… only 2 chaps left so hopefully I can finish strong.

Chinkybrowneyes: all right all right I won't!!! hehe, thanks for all the compliments.

Lainie: I'm so happy that you liked it and I'm also really happy because you mentioned everything in your review that I tried really hard to portray; thank you so much for making me feel like I did do something right after all (Her making sure it was actually Danny was my attempt at being "deep"/meaningful. Haha, don't laugh.)

Angela, twin*muse, IamVulcanlady: Wow, my fingers are actually getting tired but I feel like I have to include everyone that I remember but I'm too lazy to actually go online so if I forgot you I'm REALLY sorry (to everyone who reviewed) thanks for jumping with excitement, crying, laughing, etc.

Dream Writer 4 Life: Thanks again for your ever-thoughtful critique; I don't agree with your dubbing me the Almighty Authoress but I'm not going to complain ;0) I think I'm going to let it be because people are yelling at me not to change it but maybe I will eventually when I'm mature enough to write it adequately and this story is old and dusty.

Me: I have to tell you that I could not agree with your reviews more; I know that 1-16 aren't so great but 17-now are pretty decent in my opinion too. Thank you so much for all of your great thoughts and encouragement. I have to tell you that I absolutely love it when people start reading late and then feel as if they have the obligation to review every chapter. Such a fun surprise :)

To everyone I forgot, let me know and I'll definitely dedicate to you… I just figured it would be stupid if my dedication was longer than the chapter itself. (which it actually might be)

You guys are so amazing, thank you all so much. I have never gotten so many reviews for one chapter before (and this isn't even counting "me"'s reviews)! You have truly boosted up my spirits and have inspired me to write another chap.

40.

There was a moment after her words when the hand that drew circles across her warm stomach stopped, a moment when she could no longer feel his comforting breath on her neck because it had been held instead.

She bit her lip slightly in hesitation and nervousness even though she knew in her heart what his reaction had to be; he was going to be happy wasn't he?

He had always wanted to be the father that he never had the chance to have.

So she stayed facing the window, watching the stars twinkle at her while her total surroundings went quiet. And then he withdrew his arm from around her and got out of bed.

And then there was another moment when everything went still not because of what was happening outside of her but what was happening inside; the turmoil began but it was as silent as death. She turned around and sat up, the sheets pooling around her, watching in confusion as he walked out of the room.

She could feel the tears creeping along, slightly filling her eyes, mixing in with her slight terror and the sudden feeling of abandonment that engulfed her. After what had happened today... she had felt that the presence of another to love was a great gift; they had both lost so many people...

Against her will, she was struck with flashes of pictures that bombarded her mind; lying on the sofa reading, Danny studying at the table; Danny coming from behind and landing on her laughing, smiling, kissing; opening up her shirt, kissing her stomach protectively, lovingly, telling her how much he wanted a family... How much he loved kids...

Unchained Melody.

Her eyes snapped open as she heard the strain of music weave its way through the doorway, felt it permeate into her skin as she blinked back the tears in a soft smile. She shook her head slightly in embarrassment. How could she ever have doubted him for a second? She heard his soft footsteps coming back towards her and when she looked up again, saw him standing in front of her, a bowl in one hand, a remote control in the other.

Nonchalantly, he pointed the remote control behind him and she heard the rises and falls of the music get louder until they swept up her very soul. He sat beside her, lifted a finger to tuck a stray hair behind her ear, smiling at her with a love she had never seen or felt before. The love for two.

He leaned in to kiss her, placing the small wooden bowl in her hands. She moved to look into it but he stopped her with a kiss so full of meaning that she felt that her heart was about to stop. What had she done to deserve this man?

After what seemed to be an eternity of delirium from the feel of his mouth against hers, he pulled pack slightly so that his mouth was an inch from hers, as if he could not bear to pull back any further. He saw the question in her eyes and chuckled a little embarassedly, taking her hand in his own and letting her feel the contents.

"Potpourri. I wanted to give you a rose but I didn't have one. What I did have was potpourri from those 5 dozen roses that I bought for you last time." She laughed out loud, still swept up by the romance of it all, feeling as if she would rather have potpourri more than anything in the world. It was quickly snuffed when he captured her mouth again but she could still feel his smile against his lips, felt some strange excitement within him that she knew he was restraining.

He stood up and scattered a few handfuls around her, completely transforming the scent of the room and the look of the bed. Opening the top draw of his bed table, he took out two long, ivory candles and lit them, sending a peachy glow to the room and then stood still for a moment, watching the beauty of her face as the shadows danced across it, almost like live emotions.

And then the still slight tension was broken completely by her sudden outburst of laughing. The sheets shook, causing all the scattered, though perfectly placed, potpourri to come tumbling in a pile at her feet.

She caught sight of Michael and felt the laughter bubble up again and caught his hand and made him sit with her, kissing him even as she laughed.

"What is it?"

Laughter.

"Sydney, I know this isn't exactly the balcony room at our restaurant but I'm trying to be romantic here." She heard the twinge of humor in his voice and knew, despite his words, what he really wanted was to be let in on the joke.

She placed a hand on his cheek, smiling at him with shining eyes and the first look of true happiness she had had today. "Vaughn, this is so romantic I can't even begin to describe it. It's absolutely perfect I promise."

He grinned. "What's so funny?"

She smiled widely and it was obvious that she was smiling in order to make up for her inability to laugh. But it didn't work and it began again. "I'm sorry," she gasped, "it's just that I can't believe that you have a specific candle-and-condom drawer. I mean did you get them in a set or something?"

He grinned, turning a little red. She saw in him then the little boy he must have have been and that filled her with a strange emotion. On a whim, she threw her arms around him, kissing him with an intensity that shocked him, thinking it had flown out the window with the discovery of the fact that he kept candles in the condom drawer. She shut her eyes tight in order to feel all the sensations running through her as she kissed the man who was indeed the love of her life. Her arms were full with him, her body encircled in his own, his warmth pressed up against hers, all in the scent on roses and a beautiful song that Vaughn had thoughtfully put on repeat.

She lay down bringing him with her, wanting the whole length of him to be on her, pressing on her so that she knew that it was real, that everything was truly happening. Her fingers tumbled into his hair, weaving the strands between her fingers, pressing him closer to her even as his own hands pressing behind her back eliminated any space there was between them.

She felt his mouth depart from her own, trail kisses along her neck and in the hollow of her throat but then he pulled back, hair mussed and breathing heavily. She propped herself on her elbows, watching him curiously. He smiled at her, shaking his head. "Syd, how do you always manage to shake up things that I plan? You are beautiful and irresistible but I'm not going to let you deter me this time."

Sitting up, she watched silently and he brought Unchained Melody to its beginning and took the potpourri in his hands to scatter them again. And then he bent over her and unclasped the necklace from around her neck.

She felt naked without it.

Kneeling by her bedside, he took off the delicate white-gold ring with its solitary diamond from the thin silver chain and took her hand in his. Clearing his throat, he smiled at her nervously, letting her know that beginning was always the hardest part.

"Sydney, I have known you for two years and have loved you for nearly that long. Four months ago I stated my feelings for you and, you knows this already, I have to tell you that they have been the most fulfilling four months of my entire life. No one in this world has ever made or will be able to make me feel the way I do whenever I'm with you. You make me feel like the man I want to be, make me want to be better so that I deserve you even though half the time I don't even understand what you want with someone like me.

"About a month ago, I proposed to you in the midst of 68 candles and violin music and topped it off with an Italian meal and cranberries frozen into the ice cubes. I told you that day that it was a promise, that I was asking in advance." He smiled at her wondering face. "It's advance. I may not have those ice cubes or the violins... and I only have two candles which have been sharing living quarters with condoms all of their lives- but I'm kneeling here in front of you offering you my entire heart, my entire being.

"Sydney Bristow, will you marry me?"

She let those precious words hang in for small eternity, feeling the tears brim once again though for a very different reason.

She dropped to the floor beside him, placing her hands on either side of his face. "It was never about the cranberries you idiot." She smiled. "Of course I'll marry you. How can you even think for a second that all that stuff might matter? I have potpourri... and a bed that I don't have to drive for 15 minutes to get to." His eyes twinkled in humor before hugging him to her. All she had left was a whisper to convey her feelings. "Thank you."

He closed his eyes in thankfulness for a minute before finally pulling back and letting true happiness and wonderment come through. Brushing his thumb across her cheek, he grinned at her. "I'm going to be a father." It was said in a whisper as if he were indulging some great secret.

She smiled, bringing his hand to her stomach. "Yes."

TBC...

One more and I think you know what that chapter is going to be about... So no more cliffs... But anyway, had a ton of fun writing this chapter~

Reviews definitely appreciated.

Happy reading,

-Jenn